Sick As A Dog 2 Days Before Christmas ......IT FREAKIN SUCKS

So yes I have been ill granted only for the last 3 days however a deathly ill is what it is.

At first I and mum had thought I had simply pulled a muscle in my back and thought it would just go away ( after 3 muscle relaxents) ...It did not.

So last night mum had her big Christmas party and I was flat on my back in sheer pain. My uncle Bobby, a doctor of viruses, told me what I had after explaining symptoms to him.

PLEURISY!!!!!

For those of you who do not know what this is here is a brief explanation that I looked up on Google :
Pleurisy (PLOOR-iss-ee) is caused by swelling and irritation of the membrane that surrounds the lungs. It is usually a symptom of another illness. It is also called Pleuritic Chest Pain.
Causes
Pleurisy can develop from many things, including bacterial or viral infections of the lungs (such as pneumonia), TB, lupus, chest injury or trauma, a blood clot in the lung, or cancer. Sometimes a cause cannot be found. Doctors call this ideopathic (id-e-o-PATH-ik) pleurisy. Even though the cause isn't known, the problem can still be treated

Thank you google for freakin me out more then I already was god dammit !!!

So last night after reading this I took 2 aspirins 2 benydrils ( however the hell you spell that) and passed out stone could ( think more stoned then anything)
when I woke up this morning it was miraculously gone !!! Needless to say I was soooo happy mainly due to the fact that I could breath like a 28 year old not a 82 year old.
THEN IT CAME BACK !!! It was like god was laughin off his ass at me and my pain.
This time it has showed up on my left lung rather then my right ( must have decided it was not fair that only one side felt the sheer pain the other was not in ! ) I cannot describe to you all what this feels like. Suppose best way is think of a stitch in your side multiply it by 100 then add back pain in the mix and that's it.
So I am currently flat on back breathing like a dying 82 year old and thinking the world is against me
Other then that so far Christmas is looking fucking great just peachy

A request has been made ..pre waring part 2

My Little brown friend Ricardo Ernesto has asked me to write some more about him ( although I have no idea as of yet what I am going to write)

Can safely say this right now though : he is sooooooo drunk. He has managed to get 3 litres of beer in his tiny latin body in a very short amoutn of time. He is currently dancing ( or what you may call dancing around the room to i can believe I can fly ... the punk version)
Bare in mind that this is a man who is responsible for a large amount of peoples mental health being a psychologist ( yeah spelt that wrong I know )

But do have to say he does make a lovely latin mental health expert drunken friend although he is odd.

i fear there may be more posts like this through out the night ....YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED THERE WILL BE GUEST POST FROM THE OTHERS HERE

Pre Warning

I am currently at the PHILAPOLOOZA 2006. Phil our little dutch commando has returned from Afganistan and there is a big party.
So I am pre warning you that tomorrow there will be well...interesting pics and a very hung over Louisa as well !

Have a good night and day all
Lou ( half way to drunk he he he :-)
xx

Having A Tough Time Listening to the Radio here

So I know one of the things that I am missing most in the UK is the BBC and the Radio over there.
I have been listening to CBC (like the Canadian version of BBC but crap) and a month into being here I wish to throw the damn thing through the nearest winder, take a hammer to it or even let a pack of rabid dogs tear it to little bits.
There is this ingrained ability to make everything into a left wing bleeding heart issue. There is no such thing in the CBC as an unbiased factual based report. There is this constant need or craving on their part to be sooo politically correct
EXAMPLE: Sex trade workers! These are what you would call PROSTITUTES!
Call them what they are stop thinking you will offend the poor delicate senses of Canadians across the country. They do actually know that they are prostitutes guys.
Every second day there is yet another report on how the first nations are suffering and how destitute and down in the dumps they are. Rather then making this yet another lefty issue why not just report the facts. Report that massive amounts of money are given to them; report that those massive amounts of money and help and aid are pissed away. Stop making it a bleeding heart issue.
They other thing that is driving me to distraction is the grammar. These people are broadcasters are they not? If so why is it they cannot seriously CANNOT string a sentence together without making a big pigs ear of it?!
EXAMPLE: I seen a plow truck clearing the streets today.
Basic grammer people the sentence should be said as follows: I saw a plow truck clearing the streets today.
I am fairly sure this is taught in early elementry school.
So my beefs are as follows:
Left wing bleeding heart reporting
Non factual biased reporting
And
Bad god damn Grammer !! ( Yeah yeah do not through stones at glass houses and all that I know )

Oh Yes Sorry I am still Alive and Very Much Kicking

I HAVE INTERNET AT HOME !! oh god I nearly wet my pants in sheer joy !! ok maybe not as I do have a moderate of self control but only in small doses

So yes I am connected with rest of the world yet again and it makes me do a happy dance every 5 minutes

So all is well I am as stated above alive and kicking. So in point form here are the comings and goings up to today:

• Greta the golf still rocks this world and makes me endlessly happy when I drive her ( suburban mum see you are not the only one with a yummy new car but to be fair and also thank god mine is not a 'yummy mummy car'
• I have finished my various rounds of interviews for my line of work in the cable manufacturng world. They were not really interviews more like them selling me the jobs which was a bonus. So now I am just awaiting purposals from them ( taking their damn time!! )
• I have been temping for the mummy since I arrived back ( always so so handy having a family business of personel agency ! ) so have been making enough money to cover Greta's car payments and insurance and on the note of insurance.......
• went to go pay with post dated cheques the 2 remaining payments on insurance and was promptly told they made a mistake and my insurance amount had changed ( I went into the end of the world is coming oh my god please do not let it be to much higher mode in 2 seconds flat) BUT it was good news my insurance is cheaper by 1000 bucks !!! BONUS !
• Christmas is only 12 days away and my god have I been shoppng. Boy is it nice to live in the city that hearlds the worlds biggest mall ( seriously it is the worlds biggest mall with a water park and wave pool, ice rink, 2 count em 2 rollar coasters and amusment park, golf driving range, shooting range, yep you can shoot guns in the place, and randomly seals penguins and flamingos ! oh yeah and the endless shops) So I have been buying for the mum for days. Cannot say what has been bought as she reads me so that would be a screw up on my part if listed the various items.
• Cleo/Leo the gender confused cat is in heaven over here. He seriously is in his element in Canada and has a new best buddy in the world with old dikker. Mum and I have found endless fun and a new way to get through the dark Canadian winters.... Catnip !! Christ all I can say is it is so funny to watch 2 cats jacked up on catnip trying to lick the hinge on the door! sooooo funny. Dikker takes the form of a old drunk who weaves his mass weight across the room and cleo takes the form as the stupid teenage drunk when he falls off the giant cat tree thing we bought them ...endless fun ...catnip addicted kittys ha ha ha
• I am warm! It has been like plus 5 for days and I am lovin it right now
• I go to the gym here most days now ( 4 -5 days a week) it is odd though as normally there is the usual suspects : The no neck group of muscle bound men, the twinkies with smeared on makeup and so much licra it is ungodly and the old farts slogging it out. But there is a new group ...touque wearing freaks ( tougues as in winter wolly hats) yes there are boys working out wearing touques ?!?!? WHY I ASK WHY YOU FREAKS?!?!?

So that is all for now. Once I get mums digital camera up and running will take pics, hopefully this week, and post them. I will try and get pics of the overly high cats for you all to get mid day enjoyment from and of course Greta the wonder car.

All is well miss all my friends in the uk so much but I am still very happy to be back here in the great north and really not home sick for the UK. Aside from my magazines and the BBC god I miss those

Thats all for now all

L xx

Say Anything about how warm it is Where You are And I swear there will be words Said to you !!

First of all before I say anything else I need to say one thing. One very very important thing!! I AM FUCKING FREEZING GOD DAMMIT !! Oh my god I am cold what was I thinking coming back in winter. Right now onto the rest of it now that is out of the way ha ha !!

Yes I am back in Canada!! Cat and I made it in one piece ….. Barely. The flights themselves were just fine in fact they were pretty damn good to be honest.
Unfortunately I missed not 1 but 2 connecting flights. It took me almost 3 hours to clear Cleo through customs and the inspection people. So I missed the first flight then missed the amended time second flight. So rather then getting in Edmonton at 6pm got in at 11:30.

Cleo traveled really well and was so looked after by everyone. He was brilliant with his first flight from Manchester to Calgary. But I think the second flight royally freaked him out. This would be due to the fact that it was just a propeller plane. Really really small probably a lot colder and much louder. Was to funny though because when I got of that plane and the family was all there to meet me we did not know where to get the cat from. So mum went to ask the info lady. She just pointed down this long very empty stretch of airport and said he is on the oversized luggage belt. We turn around and look down this long hall way and all you can see is the cat crate all by its lonesome on this conveyor belt and hearing this rather desperate pathetic meek meow!! he was not happy at this point.

I have settled in just fine with mum and the house all came second nature really. Cleo has been fine as well hide for about 2 days and now wanders around as if he owns the joint. He also insists on terrorizing poor Dikker out rather elderly and very fat cat. He does not take to kindly to this.

I had to pay off (Note: mum paid to be frank) a large amount of parking fines all 600 bucks worth before could re new license and get car so spent the first days doing all that.

Most importantly though is that I have bought a brand spanking new car! She is a 2007 silver golf 4 door. I have named her Greta Gwendolyn Taylor. She rocks! We have already done 2 360”s through 1 major intersection. This would be due to the horrendous weather we got on Thursday. Snow, wind, lots and lots of wind and minus 25 weather. It was like an ice rink. So I have had a rapid introduction into winter driving again.
I have been temping for Mums Company on various jobs to keep me going. However I have had a job interview for the same line of work I had in the UK. I was both happy and a bit let down. I was seriously let down by the basic wage of 35,000 bucks a year. However I was very pleased with the profit sharing scheme. I was shown figures for the last year and these guys walked away with half their year’s wage 2 years on the trot each April. So you are talking about a lump sum payout of like 15 k! Plus they have monthly bonuses of at least 1500 to 2500. He said this is almost a given due to the market over here and everyone is making a hell of a lot of money. So with the bonus it would work out to about 50,000 – 60,000 a year. So I have to think about this. Plus I have another interview with one of my old customers next Friday. Luckily this is an employees marker currently.

So that is it. I will post pictures of all sorts shortly for all to see including: Greta the golf (before I get creamed by a big truck and destroy her), the snow more snow and more snow, Cleo terrorizing dikker endlessly, and best of all Cleo playing on his gigantic new cat tree (they make everything bigger over here) and falling off. This last one was hour of amusement for mum and me seriously was.

Till next time everyone x

Patience Please All ( 2nd Edition)

Right second time writing this !!

I will be posting a fullsized post soon. I have limited access to a pc right now. But that is all about to change as mum has got wireless and satlite coming ( bring on the BBC !!!! )

Here are some tidbits to keep you all going :

. I have a new car. 2007 silver golf by the name of Greta ( yes I name my cars and yes she rocks this world !! )
. Cleo travelled well is happy and terrozing the existing cat, the old ginger tom named dikker ( secretly we think dikker loves cleo)
. IT IS FUCKING COLD !!! Seriously people todays high is minus 23 it is currently minus 27 !! hmmmm yeah thats cold
. Canada freakin rocks !! I am very happy

Right I will email all of you individually as well when get a chance
will also take pics soon and post them as well
xx

True Wife Confession : I Love this Site

A few days ago I click on a link from Art's website http://arthurslifer.blogspot.com/ ( I have not clue how to make those useful links with someones name !! I am truly usless when it comes to anything computer orientated just so you know) and I was hooked.

The site is called True Wife confession and it is a brilliant idea as far as I am concerned http://truewifeconfessions.blogspot.com . Basically a load of women and men to ( I think ) confess to all on the site. It is anonymous so no one needs know who you are.

There are some brilliant confessions such as :
Confession #1171Dear Hubby:You know how "we" agreed that we were going to keepthe thermostat at 68 this winter and not "waste money"on foolish things like heat and warmth? Well, I justcan't do it. As soon as you go to work in themorning, I crank the old thermostat up to 75. Roasty,toasty warm. I LOVE HEAT!!!!

there are some really really bad confessions such as:
Confession #1126We've been together for 11 years now. I've alreadycheated on you twice, both times ended every badly asI became immediately needy and clingy to these men. Itwasn't about the sex but rather being around a man whoI found exciting and smarter than I was.Someone who made their own decisions. Someone who hadambition. Someone who treated me badly.You don't know about those other men and I have nointention to tell you. I like to think it's because itwould hurt you too badly and I haven't done it forgoing on 6 years now but in reality, it's because Iwant to keep the door open for other opportunities. Idon't want you looking over my shoulder.There's another man at work who fits all theaforementioned criteria. I know that if I continueworking there we will both end up cheating on ourspouses. I know it yet I am hoping it happens. Idaydream about him and make little excuses to stop byhis office.He invites me to go out with a group of people afterwork but I haven't gone. Yet. I know it's wrong and Iknow it only end in tears. Why am I doing this to us?Why can't you see that I can't be the one in controlbecause I only fuck everything up? Why can't you see that?

There are some really lovely ones as well:
Confession #1077Last night while I watched you soothe our baby when she was feeling sick itmade my heart want to burst. It's so true that watching a man be a daddy canmake you love him even more. 7 years, 3 children.... I love you more than Iever imagined I could.

And finally there are some truly sad ones that maybe want to make you cry:
Confession #1023Hubby,I am sorry I let myself go after having the baby. I hate being fat. I wish I had the sheer will power to be anorexic. When we met I was a size 4, now I'm 20W. It makes me insecure about our relationship and I take out my low self-esteem on you as a defense mechanism.

The point is that these various people feel the need to let these things out. They feel that this is the best and least hurtful way to do it. And to be honest I actually agree with that.
It is like vouyerism on a extreme level as you read through all the confession but you will find you cannot stop your self.
Have to say a large number of them made be laugh out loud and almost spit coffee out my nose as I read them.
Just think it is a really interesting sight ( this is the only way I can think of describing it to be honest )

boiling point

I am now randomly bursting into tears for unknown reasons.

There is no explination other then possibly hmmmmm..... let me think about this......hmmmm

FUCKING STRESS ! GET ME ON THE PLANE AND FEED ME FREE BOOZE NOW !!

I Just Want to Get On The Damn Freakin Plane !!!!!

Seriously thats all I have to say I just want to get on the plane like now !!

I am sooooo tired. Really worn out it feels like i have been running on empty for the last 3 weeks. I have not cooked a proper meal in weeks due to the fact that I have no motivation. That and I sold my freezer for £10.00 so not really been buying food ina normal sense. Mainly been buying the 'opps' on the shelves in asda. You know what I mean, food that is about to go out of date and its well cheap !! there is only so much fuckin quiche a girl can bloody eat !

I am mentally shattered and I swear when i get on that plane I am going to pop 2 sleeping tablets neck a few huge glasses of alchol and pass out ( snoring of course as i do that apperantly when i am drunk )

So yeah i just want to get on that plane NOW !!

Life Could Mildly Suck Right Now .... If I let it !

Well 5 days. 5 days till life starts all over. 5 days till I leave everything behind here. 5 days till I am ..... Well home really. It is a odd kinda feeling you know.

Saturday was my leaving do. I did have a brilliant time however there were a few issues. Firstly that not as many people came as I had hoped (see now I sound like fucking billy no mates, it’s not true I do have mates promise) so I just felt slightly let down by that but that soon vanished anyway.
The main things are the following:
1. I looked fucking fantastic!!! Particularly my legs in the heels and the amazing cleavage I had going on!! I will not blow my own horn to much here but heads turned boys looked at me and it felt fantastic!
2. The most important friends were there and that’s all that really matters at the end of the day right! I have fucking brilliant friends and they were there and it almost made me want to cry in happiness that they were there
3. I drank so so much. Now this could be classed as a bad thing but it was not because I just seemed to enjoy myself more anyway the more I drank!! Plus the booze made me forget that others had not turned up. After a few everything seems great.
And finally........
4. I hooked up with someone! Yes I am a slapper yes I know that this is bad! But you know what.... I could give 2 flying fucking frogs what others may or may not think!! I loved it!! I loved the fact that someone seemed to genuinely find me attractive. I loved the fact that I made no effort what so ever to pursue this person they did the chasing! I loved the fact that I was told I was beautiful (even if he was drunk who the fuck cares at the time it rocked my god damn freaking world everyone!)
I PULLED AND I LOVED IT!!!

There is a down side to all of this though. Obviously I am not going to divulge who this random hook up was as that would be not so nice for the person. I will say this it was not some random drunken boy. It was someone I know through work and it is someone that probably secretly I fancied purely for his cheeky sense of humour I have had the pleasure of dealing with for the last year.
The down side is this: had this been a year ago I would have pushed for things to go further (obviously if he wanted to be not talking stalker girl here ok!) I would have gone weak in the knees thinking about him and well his cheekiness!
But alas I can't can I? Because in exactly 120 hours I will be boarding a plane to go back to Canada with no intent of ever returning. So quite frankly I have not allowed myself to react to this. I have made myself realise this was a bit of fun and that I am leaving this country with a bang .,..... Literally ( sorry mum I so know you are reading this in horror right now)


So I will enjoy it for what it was and leave it at that , thanks Vern ...... (This is not his realy name do not worry!!)

Attack of the killer Geese and Ducks

( Second time trying to write this as pc is offically possessed !0
When my mum was over here we went to Bakewell in Derby. Amazing and lovely place but also full of ducks and geese.

In all my wisdom and common sense i decided to buy a loaf of bread to feed all the ' pretty ducks and geese' what a dumb ass move that was !!!

They are nasty bastards !! You ever seen the size of a canadian gooses beak !?!? Now try imaging 15 of em trying to get at your yummy loaf of bread as if they were starving birds from third world countries ( bear in mind that i was about 1 of 10 people with food for them so no they were not starving third world birds ! )

See pics below as evidence:

The ducks were not so bad mainly because they are a damn sight smaller then the geese. Note the random seagull muscling in on the act ( shit rockets as I like to call them )

At this point I had noted the evil glint in this gooses eyes as he moved rapidly to the banks eying up my big ass bag of food !!

At this point the goose had launched himself up on the bansk and i could have sworn i heard him laughing in a rather sinister way. I made a very quick retreat while him and his gang of 10 other equally big evil looking birds followed me in a trance like waddle

Note: I do realise my spelling is crap people and yes I do have spell check but seems as thought my possessed pc is not allowing me to spell check today .... so just live with it ok !?

Drunken Sunday Dinner for Friends to Meet My Mum

While my mum was over we had a big Sunday Roast for my friends to meet my mum.

So mum and I ( yes I helped loads !! ) cooked a big lamb roast dinner and I even made pumpkin pie as I had missed Thanskgiving the weekend before.

Had 4 friends over, Mason and Emma who married last year. Mason is a painter and one of my best best friends in the world the man simply rocks !! Emma his wife studies biolodgy and specialises in ....spiders .... seriously spiders.
Amanda and ian who live together. Amanda and I have been best friends since I arrived in the UK and love her to bits, she works in recruitment. Ian who is her boyfriend is a doll and the loveliest guy out there oh and one of the absolute funniest people I have met, pee your pants funny !!
Anyway the evening was a blast. They all thought the sun shines out of mums ass ( which I am sure it does sometimes ha ) and that the food was amazing. The pumpkin pie, which none of them had ever tried before, was a hit and a half. So much so they all took some home with them in pure joy.
9 bottles of wine later and a Mason who could barely stand up for all the food he ate it has to be said the even was declared a pure sucess.

See evidence below :

The must have pose for the picture shot





Ian taking a pic however when you look at it it seems he is taking a shot of the ceiling ??? and then Amanda and Mason beisde him

Hmmmmmm whippy cream in a can straight into the mouth !!! Nothing better !!! ( this is emma by the way masons wife )

Mason Realising after the whippy cream incident that this was his wife and what had he done marrying her ?!?! ( kidding he loves her to bits

And finally ..... The rockin Mummy !!!

Long Overdue Entry ....Sorry

Big apologies for the complete lack of post lately. Life has been manic and more manic but also good.

First of all it was my Birthday yesterday. Woooo Hooooo ME!!! I am a big old 28 years now!! Oh the joy 2 more years till 30 relocating back to another country and living alone with a cat oh the joy !

My mum was over from Canada for the last 2 weeks and we had a brilliant time been wicked.
Spent the first week with me here in the UK and we shopped basically. Shopped endlessly!! Which is a bad thing when you are trying to downsize and ship yourself and all you own back to Canada? I acquired yet more shoes (3 pairs in fact) and yet more cloths (to many to list actually)
The second week we went to Brussels to see my lovely sister. We stayed in her amazing stunning flat. Seriously I was so so jealous it was truly lovely. Plus it completely suits Alex to a T was so impressed with it.
Alex took mum and me to the Belga Queen for my Birthday meal on Thursday. It is a seriously posh seriously expensive and famous restraunt. The food was unreal but the goings on are what made the night. First of all was the bathroom incident with mum. Right so we go to the bar as we wait for our table and mum goes the bathroom. So when she gets back she has a peculiar look on her face. She said ‘the bathrooms are very avient garde’ we said what do you mean mum. She then proceeds to tell us that although there are doors it is firstly unisex. I was thinking no biggy been in them before. Then she says its all reflections and mirrors but that the doors are frosted but see through!!!! She advises us to use the left stall as it is more hidden and to kind of huddle in the corner so no one sees us.
So off I went to the toilets thinking ‘Hmm this will be odd’ Get in the left stall close the door and then realise what a tit my lovely mum is!!
Although the doors were frosted and see through, there was a way of fixing that: turning the locking knob on the door. When you did this the glass instantly went white and was no longer seeing through!!! My mother took a pee in plain view of all in a very posh restraunt soooooo damn funny !!
There was another goings on even better though. The 2 tables behind us were very clearly full of famous people. Like hell we could figure out who they were!!! There was one table with a nanny 4 young cute boys and 1 what was obviously an adopted Chinese toddler. The table beside them was the parents. It appears they were a rock group who will be forever known as aging Belgium rockers. Seriously aging!! They may not have been Belgium but they were obviously famous. Mum took some pictures of Alex and I and as soon as she did that 4 massive body guards popped up out of no where behind aging Belgium rockers!!!! they head lady at the restraunt very politely came over and asked if for the moment we could not take pictures ….. We stopped the body guards where scary assed mo fos !!!

So yeah that’s it really nothing else new. Oh yeah
18 FREAKIN BLOODY DAYS TILL I FLY HOME!!!!!!!!! THANK FUCK !!!!

Childish Gross Fun : Hours Of Amusment

If you offend easily then do not bother reading this. But if you want a laugh have a sense of humor then read away but i expect you to contribute your own ideas once you have read it.

For the last hour our office has been in utter fits doing the below task and had to share with everyone.
As you can see we are a productive office and all have highly important jobs and are all extremely busy as well....honestly we are very important people .......


The minge game involves taking the name of a film or band and changing one word to minge, put it at the bottom of the list with your name and re-post the bulletin...
Sam- How to lose minge in 10 days.
Pagey - Green Minge
Kieran - Saving Private Minge
Pierce - Silence of the Minge
Helen - Honey I shrunk the Minge
Aimée - Wallace and Gromit the curse of the were-Minge
Emu - The Jungle minge
MickeyG- The Italian Minge
Cazi - One Fine Minge
Lucy - Ocean's Minge
Rob - Dude Where's My Minge
Jen - Thelma and Minge

Pascal - My Big Fat Greek Minge
vickie- jimmy eats minge
Greg - A minge called wanda
Teeny Bopper - Its A Wonderful Minge
dan-charlie an tha chocolate minge
Nicole-Whats eating Gilbert's Minge
Ryan-Lock,stock and two smokin minges
Mike - Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Minge
Jim - The Electric Minge Orchestra
Bryony- Jurassic minge
Mike- Dirty Minge
ben - rage against the minge
Jim - Minge! at the Disco
Wes - Minge got fingered
Stef- Bridget Jones's Minge
David - Indiana Minge (and the temple of poon)
Helin - Show Me Minge
Matthew - The Divine Minge
Matt - Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Minge
David - 28 Minges Later
Emma - Don't Be a Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Minge in the Hood
Louisa - Who Killed Harry Minge
david - harry potter and the sorcerer's minge
Yoon - Sweet smell of minge
Louisa- Brewsters Minge's
Angeline - Lord of the Minge

Oh My good Lord My Head is about To Explode and Pop off My Shoulders !! Seriously

Right I have like 5 weeks before I actually go home for good. After 5 years of living here you would think my life skills will have improved ...... Like hell they have !! This is the current state of my life CHAOS !! MADNESS !! And utter dis - organization !!!!

I have soooo much to do and do I do it ... No I park my ass on the couch turn the telly on and waste the night away. Yeah yeah yeah I do realize this is all going to come back and bite me in the ass 24 hours before I go. But do I think of that. No not until the next morning with a slight hang over from the wine that seemed to accidentally fall down my throat and the feeling of doom and sheer panic.

My mother arrives in 72 hours and I am fairly sure I am going to get a proper good old fashioned ' what the hell have you been doing !!! Do you realize how much time you have left!?!?' bollocking!
This is not like when I was a kid and I could hide everything under the bed and say ' yes my room is clean can I go play now' there's nothing left to hide anything under !! I have either packed it or sold it . Yet with all the packing and all the selling it is like little 'I collect useless shit' Elves keep popping round when I am not home and dumping yet more shit in my 400 square foot flat ( this is a palace sized pad for over here in the UK in case you are wondering)

So yet again I have got home from work today ( after 10 hour day ) said hello to the cat possessed by Satan and parked self on ass and stared into space.

I am at the point where I look round the flat and say ....hmmmm I am just going to leave it all here . Screw it go home with nothing . That's what a fresh start is all about isn't it ????
Yeah right who the hell am I kidding !!!

Right back to crap telly and another class of wine ....( sorry mum )

I am Actually on 25 Peeps !

I put my name down for 25 peeps months ago and completely forgot about it and to my shock i ended up on it.
So have a look click refer blah blah blah

( hey thanks for visiting all !! :-)
http://www.25peeps.com/
oh here is my pic that you need to click on as well

Happy Canadian thanksgiving !

Yep it is Thanksgiving back home today.
I have to say after 5 years of being over here I have not really done anything on Thanksgiving. Unlike my sister, Alex, I am not surrounded by fellow Canadians. Where as she is due to working for NATO in Brussels. So at this moment she is cooking a 8 pound Turkey ( you think that's big she was going to buy a 14 pounder but when it would not fit in her oven and the fact that was going to cost her like 200 quid she decided rather correctly on the smaller bird)

So this year because it is my last Thanksgiving in the UK I decided to cook myself something nice as well. I am not a fan of Turkey plus could not find any in the shops so have gone for lamb. Plus I have roast Potatoes , Brussel Sprouts ( hmmm love them ) and glazed carrots.
Currently the cat has parked himself in front of the oven , splayed himself out and is drowning in his own pool of drool.

For some odd reason today has made me the most homesick I have ever been here. This is obviously odd due to the fact that 5 weeks from today I will be back home. 5 weeks is not much at all so being home sick now is stupid but I am.

So I am going to return to the kitchen check the roast save the cat from drool and enjoy myself.
So have a good day all of you and ........
HAPPY THANKSGIVING !!!! Gobble gobble gobble as the turkey's would say :-)

Breakdown : The Bubble Burst Big Time

Yesterday I finally lost it completely.

For the last few weeks I have been whirling around like a fool being ' organized' for those of you who know me and even those who do not but can tell purely from my writings, organized and Louisa = pure disaster.
I have attempted to make sure that this move home goes as smoothly as possible. I have a little book with schedules in it as to when I am supposed to action what and where.

One of the biggest concerns , other then shipping my excess clothing home ( which I have ups'd on the company !! ha take that you bastards ! ) has been the cat. No I am not the crazy cat lady however the cat is very important.
I was very proud of myself getting this all sorted with Air Canada then all the paper work and the vets etc. Well yesterday it all unraveled like a cheaply made jumper!!
My mum is taking the boy with her on the 29th on her return after visiting Sister and myself. Her flight from Manchester to Heathrow is actually a BMI flight and not Air Canada. Because of this we found out have to book cleo on with BMI separately. Well..... After 4 calls to the Indian call center consisting of me finally screaming give me someone in the bloody UK NOW !! Seriously I did scream it all went tits up. They refused to help me.

I lost it completely and utterly lost it. Started balling like a 5 year old fat kid who just had his candy stolen from him. Blubbing like a baby in the front room. It just became slightly to much and pushed into the giant canyon of moving countries. Mum called said are you crying said yep but I am fine. She said no worries just let me sort it out so I did as mums always can sort shit out ....And seems as though she did.

Turns out probably going to send my boy with BMI cargo as manifested cargo and that then means he will arrive 2 or 3 days before me and all will be fine. She called the Manifest team in Newfoundland Canada who were so helpful. They told her not to worry there are dedicated animal teams. He is never alone always warm and they really look after him. So I am calling them today to get this all sorted.
Things back on track had my tantrum let it all out and feeling better.

Now I just want to get BLOODY HOME !!!!!!!

I would Spank And I would be Proud !

Last week I watched a program on ITV called ' I smack and I am proud' when I saw the trailer I got slightly excited as I thought finally we are going to get a different view on the the hotly debated topic of disciplining and smacking your child.

Before I go into a complete rant here is my view: smack to your hearts content. Now before you go off on a bleedig heart kids have feelings attack on me understand this. I do not been knock the next 25 Sundays out of your kid, I do not mean smack them for everything and anything. I do not mean smack them without a warning or 3 strikes system.
I believe kids today do not know boundaries they most definitely do not know respect or obedience. Parents are scared of how they handle their children. They are scared of how society will react to their way of dealing with their children.
I waws spanked as a child and christ I deserved it !!! I got warnings I was told off and if it persisted I got spanked. My parents did not tie me to a bloody poll and flog the shit out of me ( pretty sure it was tempting at times !! ha ha ) I am not some deviant of society. It did not make me a emotionally dead person or effect the ways in which I deal with stressful situations.
It taught me bounries respect and limits to my behavior as a child teen young adult and ultimately a adult.
The argument that a child cannot associate the spanking with the act of bad behavior is utter bollocks!!! Child does something bad child is warned child does again child warned again child still persists child gets smacked !!! child does not repeat does not do the bad thing again. That child knows why she or he was spanked !!
The argument that positive encouragement should be enough to make your child to behave is again utter bloody shit !! I do not disagree that all children should get positive reinforcement in fact it is their right to get that....When they do something good you muppets !!! When a child behaves badly you do not try crap like positive re enforcement to curb the behavior , you punish and discipline them straight away.

Right back to the program. So I was excited for this to start and was looking forward to it. 10 minutes into it I was screaming at the telly!!! From the word go the producers of this program had specifically and purposefully set out to make these sets of very brave parents look like abusers like bad parents basically like deviants of society. They were brave parents for being strong willed enough to believe in their convictions and tell what they believe is the right way for them to parent. The program was a utter letdown and was yet again used by the bleeding hearts of today's society to vilify these parents and their methods.

I do realize some people do not agree with the method of spanking and I do respect that view and their decsions not to displine their child in this way. However if parents who smack there kids are able to respect the views of non smackers then it needs to be done visa versa as well.

So I can safely say if I had kids I would spank and I would be proud to admit it as well.

Two Months Today

Well the proper countdown has begun now !! 2 months today and I will be on my flight back to the ' motherland' of Canada.
I still get moments of panic. It is not because I think I have made a rash or wrong decsion. it is simply because although it is home and I grew up there it is different. It is like emigrating to w whole new country. I do worry about things like leaving my friends behind here and the like and will I make a whole new set over there. But lets be honest they are little worries in the grand scheme of things.
I am fairly sure the cat knows whats going on as he keeps looking at me with pure evil in his eyes !! plus his nightly attacks on my toes are becoming more violent the little bastard !!

I have had a hell of a time sorting out my leaving do !! Oh my god it is so hard to please everyone now !! seriously if ones happy with the date 2 say they are not. so put foot down set it for the 11th of November and pulled a guilt trip of ' I am leaving the country you better freakin be there you bastards!!' and that threat seems to generally work ha ha

So yeah 2 months .......

Tony Blair :The dilema . What are the Options?!

For as long as I can remember (or at least the last 18 months or so) there has been endless speculation about Tony Blair and his premiership. Questions like: how much longer will he stay? When will he actually name a date? Who would his replacement be? And so on and so on.

I have to say I am slightly middle of the road on this one. Where I do have issues with some of his policies and the ways in which he implements them I also have issues with who is actual replacement will be.
I take issue with some of his immigration agendas. I was raised very tolerant, in a very multi cultural family with beliefs to be compassionate and to respect all others. Recently that has been tested to its highest level. It is a fine line to complain about the immigration issues between having a logical argument and sounding well ... a bigot or narrow minded. We have a problem within this country now where we are simply letting to many illegal immigrants slip through the cracks. The government seems to have effectively let the reins go on this and thrown their hands up in the air as if to say ‘what do you want us to do about it then?’ This has affected me personally. I have been on a waiting list for a dentist for the last 18 months. Please realize that this is a waiting list to register with the dentist. After registering I would then have to wait a further 3 – 6 months to actually get a check up. This is NHS this is not private. Some people say go private then? My answer is no!!! I pay taxes have done for 5 years and it is my natural right to use the NHS dentist provide to ME! I have since found out that in the last 12 months roughly 20 -30 asylum seekers have been registered immediately with the dentist I am trying to get into!! This enrages me. I accept that people of any status should get medical attention but why do I have to wait for 18 months ?!?! To me this is down to the British government under Mr. Blair’s leadership opening the gates to Britain and saying ‘come on in, even if your asylum claim is not valid we will let you in, more the merrier everyone’

Then there is the flipside to this all. Who would replace him?? The option that seems to always be mentioned is Gordon Brown …… oh god helps us please. I am going to be supremely superficial here everyone…..that man is UGLY ….U.G.L.Y a face a mother could not even love seriously. One of Tony Blair’s major plus points is he is a highly social man and I do believe one of the key skills in and job like that is being able to handle extreme social situations and Tony Blair can handle these. Gordon Brown has the social skills of a dead slug, he has the social skills a bloody water buffalo!! He in my eyes would be an embarrassment to Britain at State dinners and world leader conferences. He looks constantly looks as though he has just come of a weekend on the lash and rolled his fat ass out of bed.

On a more serious note though he will always be seen as the man in the background that was undermining his current leader. Almost a form of skull duggery. He will always be seen as the man pulling the strings in the back trying to get Tony Blair out. It is not a good perception to show the worlds super power countries. The picture of him in the paper last week laughing as he left 10 Downing street after apparently having a blazing row with the prime minister should be a sign to everyone what he is really like?!
But the question then is who else is the option to lead this country?? As it appears there is not a lot out there at present and cannot see anything coming to the for front in the near future.

I will be very curious to see what will happen in the next 8 – 9 months? Interested to see who exactly will throw their proverbial hat in the ring that is the Labour party of Britain?

Never Drink And .....

Never drink and blog stupid shit spews out of your mouth. Plus considering my spelling is a non existent thing when I am sober then drunk or mildly drunk it is truly shit! (I know my mother is now reading this and going over it with a red marker thinking to herself ' I swear I taught this child how to spell and use that funny thing called grammar')

I have to say I do not drink that often to be honest. Of course my family truly believes that there is a very real possibility I was switched a birth due to my lack of ability to handle my drink. Seriously it sucks 2 glasses of wine and a beer and I am anyone’s oh and the life of a party oh yeah and I talk even more then I normally do (yes that is possible and yes my jaw does get sore but normally to drunk and ramble through the pain) So yeah never drink and blog you may live to regret it

Notice not only the obvious glass of wine but the fact that my computer desk is a box I am meant to be packing in and with the drink comes the over flowing ashtray ....pure class and I still wonder daily why it is I am single ????


Never drink and pack!! I will never get over the fact that I have so so much shit. I sat in my living room last night looking around my tiny little flat. I then started saying out loud ‘just going to leave it all’ just not going to bloody bother!! Piss off on my flat to Canada and leave everything behind!! Tonight I started to pack and then cracked the bottle open as a coping mechanism. I have no idea where half this stuff came from.


Never drink and own a pet when you live by yourself with a digital camera in your hand. They just look up at you as if to say ‘you stupid two legged walking freak, get away from me you are pissed!!’

Notice the pure look of shame on my poor cats face. It looks as if he is saying ' you have no idea how stupid I really think you are lady not a clue '

Condemnation for Steve Irwin

When I heard the news the the croc man himself had died I have to admit I was actually truly saddened by the loss to the animal and conservation world.

Over the last few days I have read a number of articles and blogs with various view points on the death of Steve Irwin. I have to say a few really did annoy and irritate me to be truthful.
The ones that really seemed to set me off were the ones condemning the man for what he did and for leaving 2 small children without their father.

Lets clear a few things up here everyone:

Yes what Steve did was dangerous. Yes he did take risks and always knew those risks even after his 2 children, Bindi sue and Bob, were born. He did this because he had a passion not because he cared any less for his young family. He did this to leave a legacy for for his kids. Why should fathers or mothers give up what they are passionate about purely because they have children. Yes maybe they should be more careful but no they should not stop. This was his passion and he did die doing what he loved.

Although he came across with a clown like attitude he was extremely good at what he did. He is possibly one of Australian and maybe the worlds most well known conservationist. What he has done since the early 90's is unreal for showing the plight of endangered, injured suffering species.

Those two children will grow up with the help of their Mother and all the staff at Australia Zoo , who were effectively extended family knowing what their father did. They will be proud and to be very truthful will likely follow in his foot steps possibly taking the same risk dad took 10 - 15 years earlier.

When he died he was actually filming a documentary that his daughter wanted to do it was actually Bindi sue's film. He and his wife actively involved their children in their lives. There are more parents who do this. An example of this is a program currently showing on BBC One on Thursdays at 8pm. Although I am not able to find the full names of them here is the situation. Emma is a English vet who married a South African big game catcher. They basically help move various herds from one reserve to another. They had a baby called phoebe and rather then her stopping what she did she still does it with her husband. They trek all over Africa racing through the plains and deserts chasing BIG BIG game. Phoebe happily bounces about in her car seat in the back of the truck and clearly in a state of pure joy and happiness. I can see people watching this thinking how can this women put her child in such danger ?! When I look at it I am jealous ! How many little girls will be able to say to their friends when they grow up that the first animal they ever touched was a Giraffe ???? That they helped chase wilderbeast and fed baby antelopes. Not many me thinks.

So before people start condemning a dead man for risking his life , and losing it , effectively abandoning his children to peruse his passion, stop and think about it first. He did risk his life to show his kids another way of life to put food on the table and to share his pure joy of what he did with his kids. Open your eyes stop the narrow mindedness and realize that

Random Entry about Pretty much Everything

Yeah going to babble now you have been warned ( I know I always babble ok ! ) so get your drink whatever it may be light a fag and just read :

1: THE LESBIANS
Right these 2 girls have me well and truly confused now. I am pretty sure that there were 3 of em in there last night and good god were they having fun. Seriously I am constantly wondering what it is they are doing to each other to produce the noises they come out with it is unreal. Surely they must know I can hear them as can everyone else ??? My theory still stands ..High class call girls that travel to Monaco with a some old doddering man.

2: WORK
Remember the post ' what if' about killing a workmate and then classing it as self defense and then getting off because it was ? As my sanity was being ebbed away slowly ? Well it ain't slow anymore it is rapid damn bloody rapid !!! I will kill this women it is damn good I am leaving the country. Plus she smells !!! I am in the corner trapped by her. I am pretty sure I must hold multiple records for holding my breath

3:FREE WIRELESS
People are so stupid. For the last 2 weeks I have had internet at home. Not because I actually paid for it but because multiple people in the area have insecure wireless networks that my laptop picks up the minute I turn it on !! This rocks !!! My dad would be so so proud you know :-)

4: THE CAT
He no longer sleeps on my bed ... He sleeps in his cat carrier !!! Seriously he is not right in the head. Secretly I am happy about this as still stressing bout his 13 hour plane ride to Canada. So at least I know he likes his carrier. He may hate me but least he will have his stupid carrier.

5: OH MY GOD I OWN TO MUCH SHIT !!!!!
Honestly I do !! Anyone who is planning on relocating to a new country start throwing shit away now !! Everything I turn around there is more and more. It is like little umpa lumpas are turning into little sherpas and sneaking it in behind my back. Like the random shit you own fairies bring more in at 2 in the morning !!
I hate moving !!! So much

Rant done !
Spellings shit I know !

Update: Migration to the Great White North

Well things are a moving my god are they moving.

Your ultimate indecisive Canadian in Manchester has confirmed flights for return to Canada. I officially leave on the 18th of November , not bloody soon enough as far as I am concerned!!!

Have to say I have become dis-illusioned with the UK and the novelty and loveliness of living here is no longer with me. My love affair with the UK is OVER !!!

There are things I will miss like my soaps on the telly ( soooo much better then over there, story lines actually move along)
Chips will miss the chips like mad
Good music and good radio: none of the crap over there with minutes of radio 20 minutes of add breaks.
Cheese hmmm the cheese is so so good and it smells. The smellier the better in my books ( maybe this is why I am single ??? Any thoughts??)
Style , quite simply there is amazing style and style sense over here. Not a pair of tatty leggings in sight.
MAGAZINES !!!!!oh god what am I going to do without my UK and European magazines like heat, closer, now, OK, HELLO!, Grazia !!!

Mr Cleoleo is ready for his trip as well. He will be traveling before me on a flight back with my mum on the 29th. I have to admit been stressing about this endlessly and how he will handle it all. Seriously freaking out. So much so that have gone on so many pe forums for advice. He will be fine I am sure. I mean it is likely by the time I get over there mum will have turned my lean mean fighting machine of a cat into a fat lazy bastard. She will I mean she turned a part grey hound dog into a part grey hound obese dog. She will turn this cat that way I am sure of it !!
He has his kennel now and seems to love it.
Loves it so much in fact he no longer sleeps with me but rather in his cage. The cat is strange.
I have never posted a pic of him before but friend lent me her digital camera so here you go :

in his element ....Sleeping

hey while have camera if anyone wants pics posted of anything from over here in the UK let me know will try and get a pic and post it ....Never had digital camera so a novelty and half right now !!

Light Reading in the Bath Tub

Today I was reading one of the ‘tabloid’ papers News of the World. Before you look down your nose at me it is the best thing to read whilst having a bath. Plus it is the paper that makes you realize your life rocks in comparison to the poor bastards they right about in that paper ok!!

Anyway one article caught my eye and made me think a few multiple thoughts all at once. Basically they have written an article saying support our troops become a pen pal to them. At first I thought what a wicked idea would be tempted to do that. Just to brighten some guy or girls day up over there in an otherwise desperate situation for them at times. Then I got further down the article.

This is the sentence that made me almost drown in the bath in shock and laughter: Support our hard working lads out there, our hard working single lads! If you are a good looking girl and want to write to our boys please send us your letter and a glam shot of yourself for them. Keep it clean and decent ladies (like the news of the world knows what is clean and decent!)

This at first made me laugh then made me angry then disgusted all at once. Trust the news of the world to bring what is a decent and kind act down to a disgusting level. Trust them to turn human kindness into something some what degrading. Any girl who does write is stupid in my eyes. Contact the Army see if they have their own official pen pal system set up. Do not let the news of the world profit from something like this. As that is all they will do, they will prey on human kindness and weakness to their own needs.

So basically I was disgusted. Rant over. Thanks

The Lesbians: New Theory

Yep that’s right they are back and back with a vengeance!!

I have a potential new theory about my resident lesbians. I am thinking maybe they are on the game! Now I may be wrong and I am certainly not one to pass judgement or ill thoughts to be frank. But these girls have a very very odd lifestyle.

They are rarely here. Like they go away for days sometimes weeks at a time and then they just kinda appear for a few days. They have the usual rampant sex and then both leave again.

So I am going with the theory that maybe they are high end call girls. That they have very expensive high end clients. They travel to exotic places spend a few days with the old boy (or girl) and then come back unwind with each other then hit up the next client.

But to be honest I am more then likely completely wrong and they are normal lesbians with normal if not slightly odd lives and they have a lot of loud and noisy sex. REALLY REALLY LOUD NOISY SEX !

Think before I leave this little island of Great Britain I may ask the lesbians upstairs what the score is, are they high end call girls or not ??

Going to miss the lesbians in a warped kind of way. They added entertainment to my otherwise mundane life

Feeling Ever so Slightly Inadequate

As some of you probably noticed there ain't a whole lot going on regarding my blog as in other then well my posts.

Recently I have been looking at a load of other blogs which made mine feel small and well insignificant ( in the grand scheme of things it is really but I do not really give a flying rats ass if is small and insignificant).

People have all sorts on their blogs favorite blogs, websites, counters,facts etc. I do have favorite blogs I read regularly on a daily basis in fact and websites I frequent always. But I am a complete screw up when it comes to anything technical or computer related. I mean it took me 3 tries to actually get this blog working !!
So when I look at what appears to be my boring blog I almost feel bad for being a let down for people who read this or find it. You know what I mean, they get on it and think ' fuck me there is cock all on here interesting '
Something did spark this train of thought off. I found a website through one of my other fav websites called 25 peeps http://www.25peeps.com/. I am sure some of you have heard of it. Basically you send your website address and pick to it and you get put on this site and people go on it and hit your blog. Then it rates your popularity. As other people go on the list it bumps the least popular off the site. Well I sent my web address for it ( still waiting for it to appear for approval ) and after sending it I thought ' shit my sight has nothing on it !!'

So basically think I am going to have to try and clue myself up some how and get my links and what not entered on here. This will likely end terribly and the PC will blow up but will attempt it at some point.

Why Would I ever Call you in a emergency ?

I have been trying trying to get a hold of the Canadian embassy for a few days now. I realized today was the last time I would call them when I threw the receiver of the phone across my desk in pure hatred and anger.

In the 2 days that I have been trying I have not once spoken to a human being, and to think of it the women on the automated system didn't sound human herself !!
I went on to the official embassy website and should have taken this as my warning sign I would never get any help from them :


Opening times:

Monday - Friday 8:00 a.m. - 11:00 a.m.


Who is open at this time and expects to be of any help to anyone !!!

But the killer was the following message on what I think was the 412th option in their user friendly automated system:

'' If you are in a emergency situation such as the following: arrested, seriously injured, or in a hostel and life threatening situation, please leave a message after the tone and we will get back to you as soon as we can''

SWEET JESUS !!! LEAVE A MESSAGE ?!?!?! Ok imagine some poor guy calling from some hostile country. He has been arrested and has been convicted for stealing a goat and about to be hung. He gets one phone call the the embassy and leaves the following message:

'' Uhhhh ....Hi this is Jimmy Smith from Moosjaw Sasks. I have been convicted of stealing a goat in Outer Mongolia (* I am not saying Outer Mongolia is hostile nor do they hang people for stealing goats it is a factious example ) I never stole that damn goat it just kept following me !!! And now they plan on hanging me in a half hour. Do you think someone could give me a call back at their earliest convenience?? If not could you pass on a message to my mamma , Billy Jean, and let her know she was right should have just spent the summer in Toronto. Thanks and look forward to hearing from you soon bye for now''

Seriously this is screwed up is all I got to say. I know now I will never get anywhere and have given up calling the lazy as Canadian bastards in London!!!

Decision Made

Well I have made some major and life changing decisions this week. I am moving all plans to return to Canada ahead, by a whole lot! I have decided to return before the end of this year, currently it will be most likely the beginning of December. I had to dig deep both emotionally and mentally to make this final and major decision.

I would like to think I have made the right one and that this is the point in my life that I need to do this. I know that I am at times what you would call a ‘ bubblehead’ so decision making is horrible at the best of times for me. For god sakes trying to decide what to have for lunch is a life altering thing for me!! I am indecisive as they come. I have no idea why but have to say that over the years it has gotten worse and worse!! So I think I actually shocked myself when I made it. I kind of walked around in a daze for a few hours (the type of daze was only mildly different then my normal airhead daily daze I walk around in)

I think that the main and most likely only thing that was holding me here in the UK was all the friends I have made over the last few years. Each of them has qualities that enrich my life every time I am with them. Mason (painter friend) makes me remember who I am and that I am worth something. He is the one male friend I can spend hours with talk about extreme girly things and walk away feeling the world has righted itself for the day.
Amanda my lovely lovely brummie girl is one of the few people who can knock my ass straight back on the ground when I get far too cocky for my own good. She brings back reality when my heads go way too far into the clouds. Emma oh god can she make fun of me. Think she has taught me most how to not take everything to heart how to take the piss out of myself. When I first met her she scared me really did but then figured out she is actually a giant ass marshmallow and there is nothing remotely terrifying about her. Angeline my little French fire rocket. This girl has taught me one thing: who gives a shit. She is the only person I know who is more in their own world then me. She does not care what others think she just gets on with it. It is a quality I envy in her and got her through life so far to where she is. That and I will miss her daily attempts at English phrases (seriously everyone it is one of the funniest things you have ever heard. She picks a favourite in her mind and ends ever sentence with it. The best was ‘bobs your uncle’ she has no idea what it means and just says it so funny)

There are so many others I have to mention and tell you about and will in coming entries. They have to be mentioned as they are the people that have helped shape me to the person I am today.

When I left Canada to be frank I did not know myself. I did not know who I was or what my make up was. When I left I had little confidence in myself or belief in the things I could possibly achieve. I suppose in a way it was like running away but on a much grander scale.
5 years later and I know who I am. I am a strong and intelligent young lady. I have the ability to make what I think are right and good decisions that are good for me and only me. I have a self confidence I never knew existed within me. Who knew that I would be the person I am today the person that is returning home with a sense of direction, a sense of belief and most importantly a sense of who I am. I know myself now like I never did before.
So thank you England, thank you for making me see who I am and what it is exactly I have and will achieve in the future. Thank you for making me not scared to be me.

What I get From Them

Over the weekend I was thinking about my family a fair amount. This does not happen as often as you may think. Because I am over here and the vast majority are over in Canada ( minus Alex who is in Brussels, which is close enough in both our minds thank you very much !) I tend to forget about them. That sounds awful but it is not meant in a mean way. Just means I am not around them so I tend to forget them ( Ok stopping that train of thought now as it sounds pretty damn bad ! But it is not meant badly ! )

Anyway back to a better train of thought or less awful. I was thinking about the various things I get from them. By that I mean how they effect my life in a positive and influential way. Each of them seem to have molded me into the person I am today.

My brother George has a strange effect on me. He makes me more lighthearted and fun loving. When I am with him I am in my late teens early 20's again. I do think of this as a good thing I seem to be able to let go and release any issues when I muck about with George. But also at the same time he reminds me that I am a adult and I am his big sister. The most important thing I get from George is this: He reminds me of my Dad. George is so similar to Dad in so many ways sometimes it is like he is in the room with us. He has that same gruffness Dad had, he has that same attitude of ' I am always right and you will not bend me !' It is kinda freaky when you see George on the tractor back home because it is like being sucked into a time warp, thrown iback to the age of 10 and seeing Dad on his big orange tractor.
I was always worried when Dad died that I would forget. Forget what he was like what he did, his smile and his mannerisms. But I have not because George has those things and I get them all from him which means I effectively will never forget.

Alex has a completely strange and personality altering effect on me. Alex gives me itelligence. By that I mean when I speak to Alex I seem to engage my brain more then usual. See she was the smart one out of the three of us. There is no bitterness about this as it would be hard to imagine Alex as stupid or a bubblehead in fact impossible. I think more then anything there was a slight amount of envy but also pride. So Alex basically makes me feel smarter. I have no choice but to think more deeply then I would normally with anyone else when I talk to her. So effectively I have gained intelligence from her which is pretty damn cool ( of course this will all go to her giant world dominating ego but that's Alex and you just have to accept she has that massive ego it is part of her charm .... If you call it that :-)

Mum .....hmmm this one is a interesting one and it took me a while to think about it and then it came to me. Mum gives me beauty. My mum is stunning and although I think I look more like my Dad, everyone who sees pics of Mum and me think I am the spit of her. Mum is the main reason why I went on my life altering health kick weight loss campaign. See Mum did it herself a good few years back just before dad died so were talking 8 years or so. It was the best thing she ever did. Once mum got down to a great size she seemed to change ina good way, its hard to put your finger on how though. So basically it was a inspiration to do the same the thought was if Mum can do it in her 50's then it was damn sure I could do it in my 20's. Mum though has the ability no matter what to make me feel good about myself. To make me feel as though I have achieved so many things in my life. She has the ability to thunp my ass back down to earth when I am in a flap or gettinga little to big for my boots. No matter how much kids moan about how their parents bring them back down to reality or how they tell them they have cocked up we know it is a good thing we know it is meant with love and that is what is like with Mum. She has basically taught me I am worth something and that no matter what others see in me physcially or mentally it is my families opinion that matters most. That if someone does not like me for me does not like the way I look or behave then it is their loss. That those are shallow people and not worth my time and effort. That is what Mum has given me, beauty.

And finally Dad. Dad has been dead for 8 years ( I think always get that wrong!) but everyday he has been gone seems like only yesterday not 8 years. Even though he is not here I get one thing from my Dad and that is self worth. My Dad taught me that no one has more self worth for themselves then themselves. He taught me that the only person I had to let down was my self so basically always make sure you do not let yourself down. He gave me the feeling that I only had to prove things to myself and no one else. I would like to think he would be quite proud in the way I have turned out. Before he died it is likely that my self esteem and the way I looked at myself was pretty shit. But that's not the case now and I think he would be pretty cuffed at the thought that his oldest girl has grown into a fairly independent person someone who speaks her mind and takes shit from no one.
He was a funny man my Dad. Gave some strange advice to. The one that sticks in the mind most was 'never throw up in a sink it never ends well' also ' never throw up out a window in case there is a screen there, just means you will have to clean it up!' pretty sound advice if you askme. See he gave practial advice and was a down to earth guy. Although he had some crazy money making ideas that probably drove mum to distraction. But that practicality and pipe dream aspect of Dad has rubbed off on me. Even though he is dead I do think I am still getting things from him all the time.

(* I know my spelling is crap !!! just leave it I did spell check and it never gets it right !! *)

A Date : Help Needed !!

I have a date in a few nights time and have to fully admit to the fact that I am bricking it !!

I have not been on a date in ages. Now this is not because I am a anti social cow or because I have 3 eyes 2 arms and smell like wee. But basically because I just have not had the time with work and well life in general getting in the way. Also if I am perfectly honest not had the desire to date until recently either.

I know to people who know me I appear to be confident and fairly self assured but when I get into 1 to 1 situations particularly with the opposite sex my heart feels like a 90 year olds that has been forced onto a tremill!! it is a terrible yet good feeling. Good you ask why ? Well to me it means I still care that I still have the desire to date to have fun etc.

So yeah date: It has become a slight dilema as to what to wear!! Every girl has this problem across the world and I am no different except for one thing. In the last year anda half I have lost almost 6 stone. I have regained a figure I almost forgot I had. I have grown a self confidence that almost borders on cocky. But I still have that niggling feeling of ' not enough weight has been lost' I do still need to loss weight another 2 stone and I am finished. So when it comes to clothing I can't make my mind up !! I need to wear things that make me look better then I may be ( every girl does this )
I has been narrowed down to a skirt or jeans. At work yesterday I was asked what I would wear and I could not give a straight answer. So a poll was started amongst the men I work with. The conclusion was this: It has to be a skirt due to the fact that my one major asset is my legs. I was blessed with good good legs and have had this confirmed by the very alpha males at work. So I am on the brink of making a decisive decision. Of course I have changed my mind 16 times since then but still I am closer then I was a week ago.
But there was one thing that has made my week out of all this. It was when I was told at work that when I started wearing skirts recently people were in shock. Mainly the guys. They had no idea what was under my issue black pants and plain top. They all said that they saw legs and good ones and a figure and not a bad one! Fully admit my ego blew up at this point !!
So there we go aside from bricking it about the actual date I am bricking it about the cloths the shoes the trip to the date. I mean I am bricking it about pretty much everything.
I feel 16 again ( althoguh did not date much then either !! )

Briton's Reality Check

Two nights ago I watched a program on the BBC about football hooligans in Germany this year at the world cup.
I was disgusted. I was embarrassed. I was angry. I was so many things rolled into one that I was holding myself back from again throwing something at my tiny little TV.

When ever I broach the subject of hooliganism with friends and colleagues I get the same response, ' its to that common' or ' it used to be worse'. Come on people !!!! Stop making excuses and trying to say it used to be bad and it is not common. It is bad it is common and it is criminal.

I watched both uneducated and educated men and women doing not what I call hooliganism but crimes! They had nothing but hatred and violence in their bodies eyes and voices. I saw a innocent England fan, older who got caught up in the ' firms' fighting and then separated from his young son ! This is my eyes is appalling.

These are grown men who are not there to watch football, who are not there to support their city and country teams. They are there for the soul purpose of causing pain, misery, trouble, criminal damage and more. These people think they are big and strong and cool for being in their silly childish firms. They think it is cool to go to a foreign country and do this.

Britain as a whole does not have to wonder why there is little respect across Europe for our country. People in Britain do not need to wonder why the rest of Europe looks down on our booze fueled antics at any major sporting event. The answer is smack in your face people!!! You allow people with no class no sense and no ability to behave like civilized normal members of society represent your country at these events.
Not enough is done to solve this. The heads seem to be forever deep in the sand. Stop kidding yourselves with the thought that this is not the minority but in fact the majority. That this problem is actually now getting worse and worse each year. We need to stop calling them hooligans they are criminals !! Calling them hooligans only romances it to these people it makes it cool and a status thing to them.
So the reality check is this Britain: wake up smell the hooliganism and sort out your problems in your own backyard with your own people.

Quick Shout Out

Seems as though I have new readers lurking in the background now. They appear to particularly like the stories of my resident lesbians

So a quick welcome and hello to the boys at a certian recruitment place in a certian town named Leeds.

Just remember i now know who you are and when you are on here so best watch your P's and Q's lads :-)

Happy reading

P.S I will keep you updated on the Lesbians activities

2nd post : Thank you ...

Thank you very much to the obviously badly endowed bastard in his massive Range Rover for cutting me off this morning at the lights !!!
They made a turning lane for a reason join the queue you small dicked impatient idiot !!!

Thank you to the oh so lovely cashier at tescos this morning, You obviously love your job so much. How many times did I have to tell you no I do not need cash back. After yelling at you for the 3rd time you say to me '' there is no need for that response miss, you know I do not need to serve you ???'' YOU CALL WHAT YOUR DOING ALREADY SERVICE !!!

Thank you to the man who decided it would make more sense this morning to run down the middle of the road to catch his bus then the more conventional route of the pavement. Yes I did need to honk my horn at you aggressively!! Yes I did need to yell at you '' get off the road you muppet !!! Or I will actually hit you !!'' and yes I did need to yell '' next time drag your ass out of bed on time to make the bus that you take every morning and every morning you run down the road cause you are late !!!!'' get a watch learn how to read time and use the damn pavement !! it is there for a reason ..... pedestrians..... roads are for cars dickhead

Rant done now it will be a good day I swear
( yes I still wish to kill my workmate but whatever if I drink through the day it will seem a good day no matter what ! )

2 Posts today : Part 1 The Lesbians are Back

Right they are back everyone and they are back with a vengeance!!! Not only did they roll on in at like midnight last night they did it noisily and on top of that I am pretty sure they did not even make it through the front door before they were at it.

I am amazed at the stamina of lesbians!! Are all lesbians like marathon runners ?? Can they go for hours without coming up for air ?? Are they all finely tuned athletes ? Or is it just my local lesbians?!

These girls do impress me although it would be nice if they would kindly screw when I am not trying to sleep. I wonder how it would be taken if I gave them some kind of rota like this :

Mondays
6:00 - 8:00 am - no sex Louisa has just woken up and does not need to hear either of you wailing like its the second coming of Christ

9:00 - 18:00 - Go at it girls !!!! Screw like bunnies no one is there and you can make as much noise as you like !!!

18:00 - 22:00 - no actual sex if you want a bit of heavy petting but without making noise then do it. I am trying to either watch telly or work. It is very hard to watch my various crap shows with the background noise of what could be mistaken for a murder !

22:00 - 6:00 - NO SEX !!!! You are disturbing my cat and he may need some kitty therapy of some sort at this rate girls !!!

Somehow giving the lesbians a rota from the neighbor downstairs sounded a good idea in my head but now that I have visualized this I am thinking it would not get a welcomed reception

any thoughts ??

Diving in , Damn the Consequences

Right normally I do not wade into the political mine field of this world let alone the middle east. I normally leave this for my world dominating little sister. However I have had enough of the bleeding heart pure lefting wing reporting I am forced to watch on a daily basis. Damn the people who may come after me for the below statement, but that's the joy of free speech and free thinking and most importantly free will.


ISRAEL AND LEBANON ARE AT WAR PEOPLE !!!!! This is not some little fight. These are not school children fighting in the playground over who's turn it is to kick the damn ball!!

I am sick of the bleeding heart news reports. Reports banging on about how the people of Lebanon are suffering and bombs are dropping here and there. Lets clear something up: Lebanon started this. More precisely the Hezbollah started this ok. Also big difference in the bombing tatics. Where Israel is dropping fairly precise bombs on specific targets, Military, factories etc. The Lebanese are just launching those bastards any old which way they want, basically where ever the breeze takes them. BIG DAMN DIFFERENCE PEOPLE !!!!

They are now saying on the news that humanitarian aid is needed in Lebanon. People this is not apoor country. This is not a country being attacked for no reason. It is not a Indonesia or a Darfur where people are suffering at no fault of their own. This a country that has effectively declared war ( yet again ) on its neighbor's.

For the first time ( and hopefully the last time ever ever ever ) I agree with George bush and his stance on this and Tony Blairs stance on this. Israel needs to finish this get out and I suppose in a way make their point.

People may disagree with me on this but you know what I do not care it is my opinion stated as eloquently as I can. Take it or leave it. Comment or do not comment up to you.

Have You Ever........

Have you ever wanted to actually kill someone you work with ?

Have you ever then thought to yourself '' yes I could get away with this and even if they did catch me I will class it as self defense because my sanity is slowly but ever increasingly ebbing away''

and then have you ever thought '' yep all charges would be dropped as the justice system would fully agree with your self defense/temporary insanity plea''


Well I am currently at that stage ..... oh sweet lord above help me !!

Oh The Heat !

Oh good lord above it has been hot here. I am not one to complain about a little bit of good weather. However when it is weather that is slowly melting me quicker then the wicked witch of the east I will complain !

I have to say I was not prepared for the kind of heat we have recently been treated to here. Monday was warm at 30 but livable Tuesday was warmer still at 32 degrees not so nice plus in all my wisdom and forward thinking I went to the gym. Yep I am stupid and yes I regretted it but god damn did I sweat those pounds off !!!

And then there was yesterday ..... 34 and half degrees !!! Jesus it was hot and it was humid and it was gross. It was like walking in pea soup but not as tasty. You could see others visibly reeling backwards when they made their first steps outside the air conditioned building. You could then see them mouth the words ' fuck me !! Its hot !!' no shit Sherlock !

There are other downsides to this weather many to list. However the biggest downside is as follows: Pasty white skinny, not so attractive tattoo covered English men with there shirts off. Seriously it is enough to turn you off the male spieces !!! It is so so bad. Just as bad are the over weight, again possibly slightly unattractive, scally looking English girls that insist on showing as much wobbly skin as possible !!!! Its so bad.

So my campaign for shit weather to return. For all the bad taste uneducated masses to get dressed again and for my ' Manchester webbed feet' to return.

The Brown Boy

Today as promised to my lovely brown boy, Ricardo, I am going to write about him. Now we can call this a type of classified as I have a plan to sell this boy to the single women of the world. Although it cannot just be any old women she has to be at least smart, relatively good looking , smallish, and able to put up with Richie's ego as well ( yes you have a ego my boy and you know it!!!! ha ha )

Ricardo is actually one of my not so little brothers best friends and if I am honest probably turned out to be one of my best friends as he is the nicest guy out there.

Here is ' the brown boys heritage : Venezuelan,Peruvian,Swiss and Canadian ( god I hope I got that right ) As you can tell he is a basic bog standard Heinz 57 with a little Latin flavor thrown in for good measure.
*( before you get offended as some might, the brown boy reference is a term of affection from the Taylor family to him we also call him our house boy as well. Deep down we know he loves it !! )

Anyway he rocks in his own little Latin way. At Christmas he joined us all in the North for New Years in the UK, it was a experience I will never forget !!!!

Not only did he believe that all English women loved him ( some may have ) he also thought he had the best English accent ever !!! HE DIDN'T !! It was terrible in fact it was so so embarrassing when he did it in public that we all ran away as far as possible. On one occasion we all went shopping at Cheshire Oaks on the new years bank holiday. Richie and Phil ( other best mate, Very very tall Blonde Dutch Commando) decided that they were going to test their theory that the accent was perfection and worked at all times. As we walked through the packed Oaks both boys started yelling ' OI LOOK AT THESE FIT BIRDS WE ARE WITH !!!!!!!' My mum was so embarrassed and amused at the same time that she was laughing so hard she nearly wet herself and hiding behind any large object she could find!!! And that is Richie through and through takes the piss has a laugh and can be a giant yet lovable pain in the ass at times.

When ever he comes to visit us when we are at Mum's she always says after he leaves' what a lovely lovely guy ' sickening isn't it !!! We think she would love to pass him off as one of her own , be difficult considering he is the brown boy and we are as white as the driven snow. But I am sure she would find a way if she could.

So there is a taste of the Latin boy for you all and below a few pics as well ( you will soon see what I mean when I say he thinks he is gods gift !! ha ha ) I hope you enjoyed this rather long ramble about one person.
it had to be done. I can safely say that one of the reasons I am happy to move back home is because I can piss about with Richie when I get back and know a guaranteed good time and laugh is to be had !!!












' yes ladies I am ready and waiting all yours'














' I am the man and everyone knows it'













This boy loves his food and always charms his way into a good meal at Mum's

The Animals in My Life

I have a large amount of animals linked to me ( pets and the like that is !! ) so here are a few pictures of some of them for you . The only one missing is Clio/Leo the gender confused cat. I will some day attempt to pin him down and get a picture. By the way he has got a new obsession ......Bubbles the damn cat is in love with bubbles ..... God he is weird !

Ah Penny. This dog rocks !!!!! She leads the life of Riley with Mum now getting all the scraps, a pig ear every night before bed and she even has her own special blanket .... On mum's bed and sleeps with her . Like I said life of Riley !!!

Dikker. Possibly one of the fattest animals I have ever had in my life !!! Although mum has politely informed me that he has recently lost weight.....Where I ask where ?!?!

Edward the Donkey. Now he is possessed by Satan of the Donkey world but he is the coolest damn donkey of the underworld !!!

THUNDER !!!!! The biggest hugest horse ever seen !!! He looks big and he is big, Mum calls him Big Boy. He is actually as soft as a marshmallow give this boy food and he is yours for life !

So there you go a few animals for you to see !

I Have Returned from the Motherland

Hello all !!! So sorry not been very active on here. I have been in the homeland ( Canada ) and decided that I would not post whilst there as computers remind me of work to be frank!!!

I am going to be short on this post due to fact that I am jet lagged like a bastard right now and fear I may fall asleep and drool on my key board ha ha !!!

But here are some pictures for you all:

I had to put this one on as it is one of the very very if not the only photo I have ever liked of myself was so impressed !!!!

My lovely mum. Had a great time with her and the family and surprise surprise we did not even fight !!!!

My Uncle Murray and my brothers girlfriend the beautiful Amanda

AND FINALLY ....... My not so little brother on the left , George and his best friend and good friend to me as well Ricardo or otherwise known as ' The Latin lover'

Now there are loads more pics which will post over the next little while and tell you all more !!

Great Things

What more can a girl ask for when living in the UK and being Canadian more importantly Edmonton...... England winning there first match of the world cup ( a win is a win guys stop moaning !! )
AND
Edmonton winning game 3 of the Stanley cup final !!!

Yesterday I went to exchange square to watch the mighty lions and loved it. The atmosphere was wicked the weather was amazing and the beer was surprisingly cheap only downside :
SUNBURN !! Even with factor 20 on I was crispy like a duck all you need was the pancakes and hoi sin sauce !

Last night it got better. When I was just about to get to bed I flipped over and low and behold at 1 am that morning the hockey game was on live !!! I set my alarm for 1 am dragged self out of bed and managed to watch the first 2 quarters. I finally thought ' I am fallin asleep here record it you doozy mare ! ' so I did.
I just finished watching the 3rd quarter and jumped wooped and yelled in excitement in the plus 30 weather !!! They won !!! It was wicked !!

Anyway countdown to going home has begun. I have done nothing packed nothing cleaned very little and running out of time but it is just to hot !!
I found a amazing designer bag in TK Max and will likely treat myself ( 20 pounds reduced from 140 !! ) and the old hair is getting a well deserved chop tomorrow as well. So at least I have my priorities straight .... Yeah right !!! But at least I am less then a week from good old Canada and its greatness !

that's about it folks . Off to the center of the universe again *( Bracknell that is ) on Wednesday and Thursday and then fly out Saturday morning
Will keep you all up to date promise !
Lots of love and keep cool in this weather !
COME ON ENGLAND !!!
GO OILERS BLOODY GO !!!!

The Countdown Begins In So Many Ways

Yes it is time for my annually pilgrimage back to the mother land of snow ice and polar bears.

I fly out on the 17th and have to say I am so so looking forward to it!! My best mate Sarah is coming along for the magical mystery tour as well which makes it all the better.
Normally I am overly organized for these trips. You know suitcase packed 3 weeks in advance and feet itching to get on the plane. This time is different. Due to my weekly trips to the center of the world, otherwise known as Bracknell, I have been very limited on time and have organized nothing !! But it will all come right in the end and be fine
So yes look out Canada here I come !!!

* ( big shout out to the oilers !! My hockey team is in the final for the Stanley cup. Although they have lost the first 2 games of a 7 game series we all know they can do it !!
GO OILERS GO!!!!! )

Another major countdown is obviously the world cup, if you do not know that is about to kick off then you obviously live in a cupboard somewhere like a mushroom.
I do want England to do well and I will attempt not to be negative ....However......
I find it very odd that a entire nation and team place all there hopes on the shoulders of one 20 year old who is injured!! If they get over the fact that they may not have Wayne Rooney and just play the game then they may just do well.
First game Saturday I will be watching with bells and whistles at exchange square in center of Manchester with Sarah. Either way I am looking forward to it and can only cross fingers say a little prayer and think positive !!
COME ON ENGLAND BRING IT HOME !!!!! 40 YEARS IS TO LONG TO WAIT !!!

Windsor

Recently I have been traveling to my works office down south in Bracknell ( the center of the world ..... Really its no more like fourth dimension of hell ). Due to the fact that it does not appear Bracknell has any sort of hotel in it I always end up staying outside .... This is good ! Now because of this I have fallen in love with a place down here.... Windsor

I WANT TO LIVE HERE !!!!!

Honestly it is the most lovely pretty place ever. It is quiet, it is calm, there are no scallys ( at least none in sight more then likely locked up somewhere ) It is clean and pretty it is perfect. It is also impossible for me to live here due to the fact that it is fucking expensive people!! Seriously you need to be earning proper money to live here. But for some unknown reason that makes me want to live here even more.

See the thing is every street is full of what I would call my ideal English house: They are all lovely cottages and mill houses. They are all terraced ( I do actually like terraces but only the old ones like here because walls are really thick) They have beautiful sash windows and tiny walled front gardens. They are just damned cute!

Every time I am here I go for a walk around the area and must look like a peeping tomette because I just peer through every window as I walk by ( out of jealousy but also because simply I am one nosey cow )
I just like it here the place is nice plus it helps that it seems to be eternally sunny here as well

oh well grass is always greener on the other side isn't it ?

Crap Telly

I will be the first to admit that I have a slight issue with crap telly. By that I mean I watch it never endingly to a mind numbing point, its a disease I think ?
My family will fully agree with this. While they watch very little TV I watch never endingly. I may not always be watching it. Sometimes it is just background noise in the flat. But if it is particularly crap telly unlike most people I watch it whole heartily.

Does this make me a fool? Stupid? Or a person with no depth ? HELL NO !!! Society has created this type of TV viewing for a reason. For it to be watched and ultimately talked about by the ' water cooler' I believe it was created for a number of reasons but one sticks out most to me. I think the creators of crap telly did to see how long it would take for it to appear in non tabloid papers and one news worthy 'educated' programs. And guess what ? It has everyone !!

The biggest example of this in the UK is Big Brother. I think initially it was the show that was ' looked down upon' a show that is puerile crap and to be fair it was and in most ways still is. But now in its seventh year of running it has broken the mold of tabloid stories and appearing in papers like the independent and The guardian. They are writing serious articles about it and questioning the various issues that are now appearing on this years show.

To me it just proves that society has changed over time to accept these shows as not just ' noise in the background' put it on because there is nothing else to watch. They are watching it to see how human nature works live and uninterrupted ( aside from big brother throwing the housemates the odd curve ball but that's fun) It is bring up some serious issues otherwise not mentioned like bullying, isolation, stress reactions etc. It is no longer crap telly it is good TV viewing. It is enthralling, at times gripping, extremely funny and more importantly extremely sad as well. This show has everything about human interaction in society in one little house in some sound studio in some set lot somewhere in London. It Works.

Now for the fun ... The Housemates! Damn channel 4 has out done themselves this year. As well as sending in the normal ' I am destined to be a page 3 girl or a porn king' they have thrown some really interesting ones in this time. The one that stands out most is Pete. He has tourettes..... Get over it !!! The out cry from the high browed papers that he is being taken advantage of is utterly stupid and if anything insulting to Petes intelligence. He is not stupid he knew what he was doing and what he was going in to and good on him !! The man is bloody marvelous. Aside from that he whistles as one of his ticks and boy he can whistle. Meows when he sees a hot girl ( boy is meowing all the time ) and the best of all he says ' wanker' very randomly to anyone and everyone , irony at its best.

Take a minute watch it guarantee you will get hooked on it