Sunday, August 27, 2006

Light Reading in the Bath Tub

Today I was reading one of the ‘tabloid’ papers News of the World. Before you look down your nose at me it is the best thing to read whilst having a bath. Plus it is the paper that makes you realize your life rocks in comparison to the poor bastards they right about in that paper ok!!

Anyway one article caught my eye and made me think a few multiple thoughts all at once. Basically they have written an article saying support our troops become a pen pal to them. At first I thought what a wicked idea would be tempted to do that. Just to brighten some guy or girls day up over there in an otherwise desperate situation for them at times. Then I got further down the article.

This is the sentence that made me almost drown in the bath in shock and laughter: Support our hard working lads out there, our hard working single lads! If you are a good looking girl and want to write to our boys please send us your letter and a glam shot of yourself for them. Keep it clean and decent ladies (like the news of the world knows what is clean and decent!)

This at first made me laugh then made me angry then disgusted all at once. Trust the news of the world to bring what is a decent and kind act down to a disgusting level. Trust them to turn human kindness into something some what degrading. Any girl who does write is stupid in my eyes. Contact the Army see if they have their own official pen pal system set up. Do not let the news of the world profit from something like this. As that is all they will do, they will prey on human kindness and weakness to their own needs.

So basically I was disgusted. Rant over. Thanks

Saturday, August 26, 2006

The Lesbians: New Theory

Yep that’s right they are back and back with a vengeance!!

I have a potential new theory about my resident lesbians. I am thinking maybe they are on the game! Now I may be wrong and I am certainly not one to pass judgement or ill thoughts to be frank. But these girls have a very very odd lifestyle.

They are rarely here. Like they go away for days sometimes weeks at a time and then they just kinda appear for a few days. They have the usual rampant sex and then both leave again.

So I am going with the theory that maybe they are high end call girls. That they have very expensive high end clients. They travel to exotic places spend a few days with the old boy (or girl) and then come back unwind with each other then hit up the next client.

But to be honest I am more then likely completely wrong and they are normal lesbians with normal if not slightly odd lives and they have a lot of loud and noisy sex. REALLY REALLY LOUD NOISY SEX !

Think before I leave this little island of Great Britain I may ask the lesbians upstairs what the score is, are they high end call girls or not ??

Going to miss the lesbians in a warped kind of way. They added entertainment to my otherwise mundane life

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Feeling Ever so Slightly Inadequate

As some of you probably noticed there ain't a whole lot going on regarding my blog as in other then well my posts.

Recently I have been looking at a load of other blogs which made mine feel small and well insignificant ( in the grand scheme of things it is really but I do not really give a flying rats ass if is small and insignificant).

People have all sorts on their blogs favorite blogs, websites, counters,facts etc. I do have favorite blogs I read regularly on a daily basis in fact and websites I frequent always. But I am a complete screw up when it comes to anything technical or computer related. I mean it took me 3 tries to actually get this blog working !!
So when I look at what appears to be my boring blog I almost feel bad for being a let down for people who read this or find it. You know what I mean, they get on it and think ' fuck me there is cock all on here interesting '
Something did spark this train of thought off. I found a website through one of my other fav websites called 25 peeps I am sure some of you have heard of it. Basically you send your website address and pick to it and you get put on this site and people go on it and hit your blog. Then it rates your popularity. As other people go on the list it bumps the least popular off the site. Well I sent my web address for it ( still waiting for it to appear for approval ) and after sending it I thought ' shit my sight has nothing on it !!'

So basically think I am going to have to try and clue myself up some how and get my links and what not entered on here. This will likely end terribly and the PC will blow up but will attempt it at some point.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Why Would I ever Call you in a emergency ?

I have been trying trying to get a hold of the Canadian embassy for a few days now. I realized today was the last time I would call them when I threw the receiver of the phone across my desk in pure hatred and anger.

In the 2 days that I have been trying I have not once spoken to a human being, and to think of it the women on the automated system didn't sound human herself !!
I went on to the official embassy website and should have taken this as my warning sign I would never get any help from them :

Opening times:

Monday - Friday 8:00 a.m. - 11:00 a.m.

Who is open at this time and expects to be of any help to anyone !!!

But the killer was the following message on what I think was the 412th option in their user friendly automated system:

'' If you are in a emergency situation such as the following: arrested, seriously injured, or in a hostel and life threatening situation, please leave a message after the tone and we will get back to you as soon as we can''

SWEET JESUS !!! LEAVE A MESSAGE ?!?!?! Ok imagine some poor guy calling from some hostile country. He has been arrested and has been convicted for stealing a goat and about to be hung. He gets one phone call the the embassy and leaves the following message:

'' Uhhhh ....Hi this is Jimmy Smith from Moosjaw Sasks. I have been convicted of stealing a goat in Outer Mongolia (* I am not saying Outer Mongolia is hostile nor do they hang people for stealing goats it is a factious example ) I never stole that damn goat it just kept following me !!! And now they plan on hanging me in a half hour. Do you think someone could give me a call back at their earliest convenience?? If not could you pass on a message to my mamma , Billy Jean, and let her know she was right should have just spent the summer in Toronto. Thanks and look forward to hearing from you soon bye for now''

Seriously this is screwed up is all I got to say. I know now I will never get anywhere and have given up calling the lazy as Canadian bastards in London!!!

Monday, August 21, 2006

Decision Made

Well I have made some major and life changing decisions this week. I am moving all plans to return to Canada ahead, by a whole lot! I have decided to return before the end of this year, currently it will be most likely the beginning of December. I had to dig deep both emotionally and mentally to make this final and major decision.

I would like to think I have made the right one and that this is the point in my life that I need to do this. I know that I am at times what you would call a ‘ bubblehead’ so decision making is horrible at the best of times for me. For god sakes trying to decide what to have for lunch is a life altering thing for me!! I am indecisive as they come. I have no idea why but have to say that over the years it has gotten worse and worse!! So I think I actually shocked myself when I made it. I kind of walked around in a daze for a few hours (the type of daze was only mildly different then my normal airhead daily daze I walk around in)

I think that the main and most likely only thing that was holding me here in the UK was all the friends I have made over the last few years. Each of them has qualities that enrich my life every time I am with them. Mason (painter friend) makes me remember who I am and that I am worth something. He is the one male friend I can spend hours with talk about extreme girly things and walk away feeling the world has righted itself for the day.
Amanda my lovely lovely brummie girl is one of the few people who can knock my ass straight back on the ground when I get far too cocky for my own good. She brings back reality when my heads go way too far into the clouds. Emma oh god can she make fun of me. Think she has taught me most how to not take everything to heart how to take the piss out of myself. When I first met her she scared me really did but then figured out she is actually a giant ass marshmallow and there is nothing remotely terrifying about her. Angeline my little French fire rocket. This girl has taught me one thing: who gives a shit. She is the only person I know who is more in their own world then me. She does not care what others think she just gets on with it. It is a quality I envy in her and got her through life so far to where she is. That and I will miss her daily attempts at English phrases (seriously everyone it is one of the funniest things you have ever heard. She picks a favourite in her mind and ends ever sentence with it. The best was ‘bobs your uncle’ she has no idea what it means and just says it so funny)

There are so many others I have to mention and tell you about and will in coming entries. They have to be mentioned as they are the people that have helped shape me to the person I am today.

When I left Canada to be frank I did not know myself. I did not know who I was or what my make up was. When I left I had little confidence in myself or belief in the things I could possibly achieve. I suppose in a way it was like running away but on a much grander scale.
5 years later and I know who I am. I am a strong and intelligent young lady. I have the ability to make what I think are right and good decisions that are good for me and only me. I have a self confidence I never knew existed within me. Who knew that I would be the person I am today the person that is returning home with a sense of direction, a sense of belief and most importantly a sense of who I am. I know myself now like I never did before.
So thank you England, thank you for making me see who I am and what it is exactly I have and will achieve in the future. Thank you for making me not scared to be me.

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

What I get From Them

Over the weekend I was thinking about my family a fair amount. This does not happen as often as you may think. Because I am over here and the vast majority are over in Canada ( minus Alex who is in Brussels, which is close enough in both our minds thank you very much !) I tend to forget about them. That sounds awful but it is not meant in a mean way. Just means I am not around them so I tend to forget them ( Ok stopping that train of thought now as it sounds pretty damn bad ! But it is not meant badly ! )

Anyway back to a better train of thought or less awful. I was thinking about the various things I get from them. By that I mean how they effect my life in a positive and influential way. Each of them seem to have molded me into the person I am today.

My brother George has a strange effect on me. He makes me more lighthearted and fun loving. When I am with him I am in my late teens early 20's again. I do think of this as a good thing I seem to be able to let go and release any issues when I muck about with George. But also at the same time he reminds me that I am a adult and I am his big sister. The most important thing I get from George is this: He reminds me of my Dad. George is so similar to Dad in so many ways sometimes it is like he is in the room with us. He has that same gruffness Dad had, he has that same attitude of ' I am always right and you will not bend me !' It is kinda freaky when you see George on the tractor back home because it is like being sucked into a time warp, thrown iback to the age of 10 and seeing Dad on his big orange tractor.
I was always worried when Dad died that I would forget. Forget what he was like what he did, his smile and his mannerisms. But I have not because George has those things and I get them all from him which means I effectively will never forget.

Alex has a completely strange and personality altering effect on me. Alex gives me itelligence. By that I mean when I speak to Alex I seem to engage my brain more then usual. See she was the smart one out of the three of us. There is no bitterness about this as it would be hard to imagine Alex as stupid or a bubblehead in fact impossible. I think more then anything there was a slight amount of envy but also pride. So Alex basically makes me feel smarter. I have no choice but to think more deeply then I would normally with anyone else when I talk to her. So effectively I have gained intelligence from her which is pretty damn cool ( of course this will all go to her giant world dominating ego but that's Alex and you just have to accept she has that massive ego it is part of her charm .... If you call it that :-)

Mum .....hmmm this one is a interesting one and it took me a while to think about it and then it came to me. Mum gives me beauty. My mum is stunning and although I think I look more like my Dad, everyone who sees pics of Mum and me think I am the spit of her. Mum is the main reason why I went on my life altering health kick weight loss campaign. See Mum did it herself a good few years back just before dad died so were talking 8 years or so. It was the best thing she ever did. Once mum got down to a great size she seemed to change ina good way, its hard to put your finger on how though. So basically it was a inspiration to do the same the thought was if Mum can do it in her 50's then it was damn sure I could do it in my 20's. Mum though has the ability no matter what to make me feel good about myself. To make me feel as though I have achieved so many things in my life. She has the ability to thunp my ass back down to earth when I am in a flap or gettinga little to big for my boots. No matter how much kids moan about how their parents bring them back down to reality or how they tell them they have cocked up we know it is a good thing we know it is meant with love and that is what is like with Mum. She has basically taught me I am worth something and that no matter what others see in me physcially or mentally it is my families opinion that matters most. That if someone does not like me for me does not like the way I look or behave then it is their loss. That those are shallow people and not worth my time and effort. That is what Mum has given me, beauty.

And finally Dad. Dad has been dead for 8 years ( I think always get that wrong!) but everyday he has been gone seems like only yesterday not 8 years. Even though he is not here I get one thing from my Dad and that is self worth. My Dad taught me that no one has more self worth for themselves then themselves. He taught me that the only person I had to let down was my self so basically always make sure you do not let yourself down. He gave me the feeling that I only had to prove things to myself and no one else. I would like to think he would be quite proud in the way I have turned out. Before he died it is likely that my self esteem and the way I looked at myself was pretty shit. But that's not the case now and I think he would be pretty cuffed at the thought that his oldest girl has grown into a fairly independent person someone who speaks her mind and takes shit from no one.
He was a funny man my Dad. Gave some strange advice to. The one that sticks in the mind most was 'never throw up in a sink it never ends well' also ' never throw up out a window in case there is a screen there, just means you will have to clean it up!' pretty sound advice if you askme. See he gave practial advice and was a down to earth guy. Although he had some crazy money making ideas that probably drove mum to distraction. But that practicality and pipe dream aspect of Dad has rubbed off on me. Even though he is dead I do think I am still getting things from him all the time.

(* I know my spelling is crap !!! just leave it I did spell check and it never gets it right !! *)

Saturday, August 05, 2006

A Date : Help Needed !!

I have a date in a few nights time and have to fully admit to the fact that I am bricking it !!

I have not been on a date in ages. Now this is not because I am a anti social cow or because I have 3 eyes 2 arms and smell like wee. But basically because I just have not had the time with work and well life in general getting in the way. Also if I am perfectly honest not had the desire to date until recently either.

I know to people who know me I appear to be confident and fairly self assured but when I get into 1 to 1 situations particularly with the opposite sex my heart feels like a 90 year olds that has been forced onto a tremill!! it is a terrible yet good feeling. Good you ask why ? Well to me it means I still care that I still have the desire to date to have fun etc.

So yeah date: It has become a slight dilema as to what to wear!! Every girl has this problem across the world and I am no different except for one thing. In the last year anda half I have lost almost 6 stone. I have regained a figure I almost forgot I had. I have grown a self confidence that almost borders on cocky. But I still have that niggling feeling of ' not enough weight has been lost' I do still need to loss weight another 2 stone and I am finished. So when it comes to clothing I can't make my mind up !! I need to wear things that make me look better then I may be ( every girl does this )
I has been narrowed down to a skirt or jeans. At work yesterday I was asked what I would wear and I could not give a straight answer. So a poll was started amongst the men I work with. The conclusion was this: It has to be a skirt due to the fact that my one major asset is my legs. I was blessed with good good legs and have had this confirmed by the very alpha males at work. So I am on the brink of making a decisive decision. Of course I have changed my mind 16 times since then but still I am closer then I was a week ago.
But there was one thing that has made my week out of all this. It was when I was told at work that when I started wearing skirts recently people were in shock. Mainly the guys. They had no idea what was under my issue black pants and plain top. They all said that they saw legs and good ones and a figure and not a bad one! Fully admit my ego blew up at this point !!
So there we go aside from bricking it about the actual date I am bricking it about the cloths the shoes the trip to the date. I mean I am bricking it about pretty much everything.
I feel 16 again ( althoguh did not date much then either !! )

Friday, August 04, 2006

Briton's Reality Check

Two nights ago I watched a program on the BBC about football hooligans in Germany this year at the world cup.
I was disgusted. I was embarrassed. I was angry. I was so many things rolled into one that I was holding myself back from again throwing something at my tiny little TV.

When ever I broach the subject of hooliganism with friends and colleagues I get the same response, ' its to that common' or ' it used to be worse'. Come on people !!!! Stop making excuses and trying to say it used to be bad and it is not common. It is bad it is common and it is criminal.

I watched both uneducated and educated men and women doing not what I call hooliganism but crimes! They had nothing but hatred and violence in their bodies eyes and voices. I saw a innocent England fan, older who got caught up in the ' firms' fighting and then separated from his young son ! This is my eyes is appalling.

These are grown men who are not there to watch football, who are not there to support their city and country teams. They are there for the soul purpose of causing pain, misery, trouble, criminal damage and more. These people think they are big and strong and cool for being in their silly childish firms. They think it is cool to go to a foreign country and do this.

Britain as a whole does not have to wonder why there is little respect across Europe for our country. People in Britain do not need to wonder why the rest of Europe looks down on our booze fueled antics at any major sporting event. The answer is smack in your face people!!! You allow people with no class no sense and no ability to behave like civilized normal members of society represent your country at these events.
Not enough is done to solve this. The heads seem to be forever deep in the sand. Stop kidding yourselves with the thought that this is not the minority but in fact the majority. That this problem is actually now getting worse and worse each year. We need to stop calling them hooligans they are criminals !! Calling them hooligans only romances it to these people it makes it cool and a status thing to them.
So the reality check is this Britain: wake up smell the hooliganism and sort out your problems in your own backyard with your own people.