Friday, March 31, 2006

The Lesbians upstairs

Ok I live in a what I would consider potentially a lovely old converted house. If you look past the grime and years of neglect and forgetfulness there are some lovely old features and bits. For istance the front step is slightly art deco with old tiling in lovely reds and blues in a mosaic pattern. It has been battered and bruised over the years and simply forgotten for what it is. When you go in the front communal hall and look up there is amazing old cornicing the full length of the hall but it is dusty and badly looked after. Generally though I do love where I live and saw the potential of the place when I moved in. What I did not realize was that the walls were paper thing from the cellar right up to the 3rd floor. You can hear everything. And now here is the bit you have all been waiting for ( mainly you dirty old men who see the word lesbian and stand to attention !! ) the lesbians upstairs.

A couple have moved in above me.the are both students extremely polite really lovely girls. At first I did not realize they were a couple. I have to admit thatI had the common misconception that in a lesbian relationship one women is normally more ' butch' looking or to be more polite not as femmine as the other. These girls are both tiny petite gorgeous girls they really are and that is why I did not think they were a couple. ( slpa on the wrist for being narrow minded )

When I first met them I did them the courtesy of making them aware discreetly that the walls were by no means sound proof and anything and everything can be heard here. I said that if I was ever to loud or making to much noisy just let me know would not take offence.

They at first took this subtle warning seriously and were very quiet. 2 weeks ago that all changed. I have come to the conclusion that lesbians have the most active sex life I have ever heard !!!! Seriously at one point it was going on 2 times a night 3 nights in a row. I can hear everything ..... EVERYTHING !!! Even my cat looks up at the ceiling and you can see him thinking in his cat male brain' lucky bitches !!' Honestly I am in awe of thses 2 girls stamina it is unreal.
Then last weekend it took another turn. The had a fight. And by fight I mean full bblown things being thrown screaming yelling name calling ' you do not appreciate me ' fight!! I have to say lesbian couples are no different then straight or probably gay couples when they fight. It was a blazing amazing argument. This made me think ( as I sat on my couch on a Saturday night eating popcorn and watching casuatly ... yep I am a single sad loser I have confirmed it with that statement) that there would be no sex for a bit as they were obviously very angry .... I was wrong. The opposite happened they had make up sex all night Saturday ... Took a break all morning Sunday ..... Took a break then all night Sunday .

two nights ago I had enough I was awake till 2 am listening to the acrobatic accomplishments they were attempting at the time. So yesterday morning I left a note ( not signed so they did not know was me ) saying could you possibly please keep the noise down after 11 pm ... Reasonable request I think ??? Came home last night with fingers crossed. WEll there was a outcome I never expected. THEY LEFT !!!!! Now I am not sure if they have left permently or what as was only spying through my peep hole. They had a number of bags and even more importantly they took there cat.

So yes I have driven the lesbians out of the building and I am worried about what other powers I may possess !!!!

Monday, March 27, 2006


Side Note * apologies for the bad language in below post I was angry !! In fact still am bloody angry !!
So yeah apologies to all :-)

Sunday, March 26, 2006

Stop Making fun of My country and take a good Hard look at Your Own you Bastards !!!

As you probably can tell my the header I am a pissed off Canadian!! Seriously I am a raging bundle of anger and general pissed offense !!

Since I have moved to the UK I have constantly heard the same lines from Britons things like ' you colonials were made by the mighty British' and ' You immigrants come over here and steal our jobs and use our social system'

Right lets set the record straight !!! A. ' us colonials' as they like to say were created by the British when they came over the Canada however many years ago. And then they fucked off after a little battle with the the frog bastard French. If they created use and we were so important to them then they should have stayed.... But the they didn't so fuck off and think before eyou say stupid things.
B. I AM NOT A IMMIGRANT!!!! You narrow mi0nded jerks !!! I have been a British citizen since the day I was born. I have every right to be here. And in no way was I taking anyone's job !! The unemployment rate in the UK is not because immigrants take loads of jobs when they come here. It is high because they are lazy bastards !! Because they keep electing a government that will socially assit them if they broke a damn nail. So shut your mouth and stop moaning !!

I am so sick of the narrow minded and frankly extreme racistness of this country. Lets get something straight the British was this great empire that went and raided loads of countries created loads of problems fucked off back to their tiny little island and now wonder why there are loads of depends hanging off them 100 years later. You knob heads !! You created those depends so now deal with it.
You make fun of where I am from but yet we are one of the richest countries n the world. The province I am from ( Alberta named after one of your poxy royals ) has no debt !!!!!! They are making so much money on oil right now they are sending out $400 cheques to every Albertan because they made just to much damned money !!! People need to know that outside of the middle east Alberta ( IN CANADA PEOPLE ) is the biggest oil producer in the world !!!!! Not sure myself what the British are known for other then over charging for their people for gas food houses cars basically everything!

So the point behind my rant is this. Take a good hard look at your own war mongering over priced shitty island before you start making funny of other peoples places of origin. It is narrow minded rude and just pig ignorant to say things about others that you know nothing of!!!!
Also do not get me wrong generally I love living in Britain it has offered me a huge amount of opportunities and experience.

Ramble done. BYE !

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Life and The Move oh yeah and smoking too

Life I think works out in funny and mysterious ways not sometimes but all the time !

I never would have thought 12 months ago that I would be saying I am going home. I was thinking about it ( deeply) last night ( I am thinking about anything but fags right now to attempt to kick the dirty habit ... Brain hurts from all the thinking ) anyway deep though about it last night. I suddenly realized that my 20's has been full of seriously life changing things. I left Canada at the beginning of my 20's and at the end of it heading back. Pretty big deal really

But then I start thinking about the practicalities of it all. I cannot stop looking round my flat and thinking ' How the hell am I going to sell all my shit ?!?' Honestly for someone who came over to the UK with 2 suitcases all most 5 years ago , I have amassed a stupid silly amount of shit !! It is really really bad ! So I am now thinking will car boot sale the lot of it or put it all up on Ebay as a job lot highest bid gets the lot. I am a pack rat and this will pain me to do as I love some of my things !!

It got so bad last night that whilst laying in bed I started convincing myself that I could ship my lovely bed over to Canada with me ( no I cannot do this due to fact that it is wrought iron and well would cost me a small nations gross debt ) but yeah by the time I had fallen asleep I had decided I could do this. By the time I woke up this morning slapped on another nicotine patch ( little plastic pockets of heaven ) I came to my senses and realized this was not a possibility. I am already mourning the loss of my bed 18 months in bloody advance !!!!! Bad very very bad !

Otherwise though all is on track for the giant move back home. Sarah ( best mate ) is just as excited and cannot wait to get there either. She got a Canadian tourist video on the Rockies. She text me she was all excited to watch this on Sunday night. I came into work on Monday to a email from her saying : ' lasted 10 minutes into the video and gave up as all the Japanese tourists in it were winding her up ' I replied ' welcome to Canada they are everywhere , get used to it honey !' but otherwise all is full steam a head and lookin good guys !

Smoking : Damn this is hard but determined to do it !! I am still on the patch as stated above. I also look like a child that relies on dummies to keep them happy when I start sucking on the little white inhaler stick thing they gave me as a fake fag. If I could fall asleep with that thing in my mouth sucking away like a newborn I would.

Also as a small side note now : Thank you to the people that read my blog and have left various messages wishing me luck on the smoking and the moving it is really really nice to hear it from you all like Urban Gypsy who has a funny and basically good read website if you get a chance have a read worth it. Plus Joke ( said like yolk then a ' A ' on the end ) found her via dooce and she has left great messages on there as well There are loads others as well. But the powers of work will see what I have spent the last 20 minutes not working but blogging and well lets be honest I am paid to sell cable not blog. Also if I had a inch of computer or web page knowledge in my brain I would blog roll but after a million attempts to set this up and one broken mouse I have decided to give up for my sanity !!!
So yes thank you all very sweet of you ;-)

Thursday, March 09, 2006


Yep have taken the leap, have done the much needed dirty deed ..... I officially have quit smoking today.

I have been to my GP and been given all sorts of things. Currently I have a patch on my arm and wow this shit is like happy juice.... Heaven in a little rubber patch !! Honestly it has made me all light headed and I have had no fag cravings all morning. I have gone from smoking 24 fags a day to having 2 today !!!! How amazing. And when I had the last one I didn't even finish the thing as just was no interested at all.

So proud of myself!!.

Update on the move back to the mother land:
Sarah has done one of those ' will we let you into Canada or are you a lay about non working social sucker ?' She did 2 tests one as if she had a job to go to and she was a god as far as the Canadian goverment was concerned on a big score of 84 and then she was truthful and did one as if she did not have a job to go to but she still managed to scrape through. So things are looking up now.

I am even more excited at the prospect of going home then I ever was. I keep looking round my flat thinking oh my good god I have to sell most of this how in the world will I ?? See I am a pack rat or more like a person that cannot let things go.

I have also tried to sit down and have a serious discussion with the cat , Cleo, about his impending journey ina year and half but for some reason he keeps chasing his own tail and does not seem interested in what I have to say ..... God knows why !

So there you go. I am going to go back to obsessing about my lack of cigarette in my hand and slap on another rubber circle bit of heaven ( the patch )
bye all :-) x

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Home is Calling Me

Well I have made a major decision. I am going home. It is time to return to the great white north once and for all.

Now I am not going home immediately but between the next 18 months and 2 years. There were a huge amount of factors that brought this decision to a head as they say.

The biggest one being is that I miss home. Enough is enough and it is time to return. I have done what I came here to do and that was to grow up gain some independence and be adult as they say. I think I gained that and have grown up drastically.

I miss my family and the comfort of having them about. Think being away for the 5 years has made me realise how much I need to appreciate them. Even though George is a arrogant shit and a giant pain in the ass he is alright for a little brother.
And Mum is someone I miss most to be honest ( do not let that go to your head mum!!! ) but I do get on so so much better with her now and that makes a big difference.

The decision actually though came to finalization because of Sarah my best mate. She sent me a text a few weeks ago very randomly asking how to go about working in Canada. Turns out she wants to go over. After many discussions by phone email and text it became a very real thing.
There would be nothing better then Sarah coming over with me. Canada is her type of place, she would blend in there and settle amazingly well. So we have both made the decision to start laying plans out to go home for me and a new place for her.


I am going to also bring the cat with me as well. This should be very interesting as considering this cat has not seen much of the outside world dragging him halfway across the world should really freak him out. But to be truthful I could not leave him behind. He has been a constant companion for me for the last 2 years. As much as he drives me round the bend and for all my moaning I do actually love him to bits and he is such a amazing feline.

So there you go homeward bound for me all and here is what I am going back to :

view of Edmonton City Center Sky Line

Jasper ..... Heaven to a skier ... I cannot wait to be able to go skiing again asap !!

City center , town hall and Winston Churchill Square

And finally most importantly home the place I love and grew up !!!

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

I am a Bad Blogger I know Ok !!

Yes before you comment or say anything I know I am a bad bad blogger for not posting much in the last few days ... But I am back. Have been properly told off by my sister who left a comment of ' update your blog you wanker !!!' sisterly love is a great thing. There is a mutual respect between us. She calls me a wanker I call her a world dominating Devil women... It works well.

Anyway what have I been up to ... Not much really. I did go to a concert with my best friend Sarah. We went to Jack Johnson and LOVED IT !!!!! It was by far the best concert I have ever been to and so did not want it to end. I recommend to anyone out there if Jack comes to your town spend the money and go and enjoy !!! On top of being a amazing artist he is also the hottest man on the face of the earth !!!! He is what I would want to marry in a instant !! Stunning and amazing and so so so damn hot !!!!!

Other then that it has been a uneventful couple of days really. I did however get to post a comment about my mother on DOOCE website which is cool. Considering Dooce never opens her comments I was not letting the opportunity slip past me to do that. She had posted about mothers that stays at home and the choice. I went on a rant !! I told the world how my Mum worked as did my Dad and it was in no way detrimental to me and if anything it helped me! So yeah think I was like comment 950 out of roughly 2000 ! ha

I am still trying to find a flat mate to move into a new place with ( any takers ?!?!?! Begging now !! ) but have yet to find someone. All I do know is desperately need to move to save same money as I am poor !!! I have entered my name on a load of websites so hopefully something will come of that never know.

Oh yeah and for this first time in my smoking life I am now considering quitting for good. I have made a appointment at the doctors and going to give this a go .. Wish me luck but do not expect miracles ... After 14 year ( yes 14 years ) of smoking I think there may be more then one attempt to kick the cancer sticks. Will let you know how I am doing

Anyway enough rambling speak to you all soon promise to have a better more interesting post next time.