Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Better Chance of Pulling in a pursuing home ! ... And Various updates as well

Hello hello hellooooooo alll !!!!
Yesterday my friend Sarah ( she will kill me for telling this story but I did warn her I would blog it so tough lady !! ) went on the ultimate quest to find a man ...... She went..... Speed dating !!!!
Now I have done this speed dating business with a good reputable company one of the first to do full on speed dater events. I went to a very up market bar in city center Manchester and all participants were well lets say educated and not scum ok. So when Sarah said she was going to do this I said brilliant !!! Honestly promiseyou you will have a top time and never know may find something you like there. Except there was one issue :

She did not go one of the really well known speed dating firms and it was not set up in Manchester city center at a up market bar. In fact it was set up from what I can gather by a much smaller company then the one I used. It was held at a moderate bar in Didsbury which is a lovely area but the issue is that it is also invade by STUDENTS !!! How the hell do you find a de cent mature normal guy in studentville !! You cannot it is a impossible task never ever try it !
So this is how the conversation and text conversation went before she arrived at the big event :

ME: you read then ?? What you wearing ?
Sarah : Jeans black top , casual really
ME: cleavage ??? Always works men love tit's !
Sarah : NO!! Way to nervous right now ??
ME: stop being a big giant assed Jessie !! It will be fine
Sarah: give me a first question to ask something good
ME: Ok... Ask .... What is your favorite piece of fruit ?? And Ice breaker
Sarah: ( nervous slightly suicidal laughter) ok gotta go taxi here !!
ME: Good luck

After I hung up I was giggling at her obvious dread of the coming situation and being the nasty evil cow I can tend to be I thought I would stir it up a bit more by sending the following text. I also waited until I knew she would be either just arriving or already there before sending it to her :

text message : Remember do not mention the case of genital warts! Really puts them off for some reason unkown to me !! lol lol xx

I received no response to this ha ha !! Big surprise

After the even that obviously finished I received a text from Sarah and was ready for this message that would be all glowing and happy and that it was a success .... How wrong was I ???!!

Sarah txt message: That was shite I am never ever doing that again !!! I have more chance of pulling in a damn nusring home !!
Louisa txt response back : honestly could not have been that bad although.... Nursing home is not a bad idea they die quicker and you get all the money.

So my lovely amazing friend Sarah is now in the following frame of mind : I am going to be a spinster for the rest of my life I am obviously a mental reject and will never ever be able to get a man ....I suck.
Sarah you do not suck you will find a man stop being a big Jessie I will make it my mission for you to get this sorted out. Mainly because in 20 years time when I have a family I do not want you known as Louisa's crazy cat lady friend who is coming for the holidays because her life sucks and she lives in a bedsit smelling of wee !! Selfish I know but practical.

Update on the Taylor clan visit:
72 hours and they arrive. All seems to be going well mum seems reasonably level headed and not overly stressed. George apparently is excited like a small school boy ( well not small at over 6 foot 2 but you get the picture )
My sister however is at wrist slashing point with work and has pre warned me not to expect conversation from her when she lands as she will be a vegetable.
Me well me is excited and worked up at the same time. My main aim over this holiday season is to drink get drunk eat myself stupid and then pass out and sleep for hours on end.

The way every holiday should be spent as far as I am concerned !!!

next up date will include the goings on of the Christmas works do which is tomorrow night !

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Can't think of a Decent tittle ......Far to Lazy !!

Apologies again for recent non blog entries. Life has been busy and hetic at times and if I were to be honest with you other times extremely lazy !!
It is 10 days until the Taylor clan lands oh sweet lord help and protect great Britain !! ha No in all fairness I am actually dead dead excited about them all coming but at the same time as previously stated I worry tremendously for my sanity as well!

I have attempted to clean my flat and keep failing miserably! I have got it to a state of clean but it still looks well not tidy ! So that is my mission for the next 10 days try and make myself tidy. Some may be thinking ' crap mission really ' but it is not I swear !!!! Trying to make me tidy is a near impossibility it is like trying to make your self believe George Bush has a fully functioning brain! I will clean and put everythign in its place right and it will look amazing ........ For about 5 minutes ! Then the clutter demon takes over and it looks untidy again. And this is not just solely in my flat this includes my car and my desk and my handbag. I am soon going to turn into my grandmother and save every plastic type container I can get my hands on I know I will !!! Believe medication may be in order soon to stop this problem!ha

Now onto another of my unreasonable compulsions this one though however is not completely unreasonable as I have a strong belief that others have the seasonal issue as well. This is the latest a obsession. I am now lying in bed every night worrying myself to fully awake on who else I should or should not be buying Xmas pressies for !! You may be thinking ' give me a break not a big issue at all ' BUT IT IS DAMMIT !!!!! You worry who you offend you worry who would have got you something and you didn't get them anything , you worry also about what you got someone and if it is to cheap or to expensive !! It is a never ending bloody issue !!!

Here is a example.My best mate Sarah is excessively hard to shop for she is not picky but she is also happy with just about anything you get her. You are now all thinking well if she is happy with anything then this should be easy ! Well it is not at all. I want to get her something fun something she will enjoy and will make her smile. She loves Wallace and Gromitt and creature comforts so I was thinking down those lines then I had a inspirational idea !! Shje bought herself a lush stuffed toy of Gromitt ( the dog ) so I thought brilliant I can get her the giant stuffed toy version of Wallace. So I did my research and turns out the bastards only do a stuffed toy version of the dog !?!?! What a bunch of dumb asses !! Why would you do one and not the other ?? They are a pair they should be together in every toy aspect !!! So my brilliant idea became a dead dead idea!. So basically I am back to square one and I have absolutely no idea what to get her driving me mad. Any ideas would be of great great help ( not that anyone ever reads my damn blog now )
Speaking of people not reading my blog or sorta kinda speaking of it. How do people manage to get themselves nominated for these cool blog awards ( URBS The Urban Blogging Awards) ?? How in gods name do they firstly get that many people reading them and secondly become so cool in the blog world to be nominated ! It is like being in high school again and having the cool and popular gang the mildly cool but intelligent group and then the geeks and well then me. That is seriously what it is like!! Baffles me how these people manage to get these faceless followers who religiously read them and how they become so good at blogging as well ?! Also are they all unemployed ???? How in christs name do they find the damned time to do this ?!
Just winds me up that I am not nearly that talented nor can I write about overly interesting things 24 hours a day let alone once a week and lets face it I CANNOT SPELL !! If they had a award for worst typed spelt blog there would be no competition I would win that bastard with honors!!!
anyway enough whinging
bye x

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

2 weeks and 4 Days till The Eagles Land

Yep the imminent arrival of the Taylor clan on English soil is fast approaching. It has to be said that I am extremely excited about them coming over here but at the same time have this small ball of fear in the pit of my stomach !

This could either be the best ever Christmas we have all had together or it could end in utter disaster with all of us threatening to stab one another repeatedly due to the fact we have driven one another absolutely mad ha ha !!

No but in all seriousness it is going to be great be nice for them to come over to me for the first time and see my life over here. Really excited at the thought of showing them things like my flat and car and most obviously my mad as a brush cat. I can't wait for Mum to see Manchester as I am fairly sure ( she will correct me as per usual ) that she still has this vision of grim, dark, grey and factory riddled Manchester of her youth. It is now this thoroughly modern urban hip city now ( yes I do realize it is Manchester I am talking about) !

Still trying to figure out what I am going to do with everyone for new year's!! I know that I want to show them a good time as at that point it is not just my Brother and my Sister coming but also Georges lovely girlfriend Amanda and his 2 best mates Richie and Phil. So it has to be a rocking amazing new years for them. High expectations is basically what it is.

The thing however I am utterly and truly most looking forward to is ....... My mum's cooking !!! Sweet lord I plan on making myself very ill front he amounts I am going to eat. Oh my mum's onion sauce hmmmm and her bacon wrapped little sausages hmmmm and her carrots with weird things on it hmmmmm and her roast beef !!!! hmmmm I am now currently drooling at my desk and on the verge of drowning from the drool as my work mates watch !! oh the food !!
so I will keep you all up dated and give you a after family visit report when they all leave as well as that I am pretty sure my sister. Now I have tried multiple times to get a link in here for Alex but I am useless guys sorry find her yourself if you want to read her blog!

Monday, November 28, 2005

Evil Evil Bug

Apologies for the total lack of writing on here of late. I have been deadly ill and stuck at home for the last week. Had sinatitus ( no clue how to spell that ) plus a touch ( if that is possible ) of glandular fever!! Needless to say no one wished to be near me even my bloody cat !!

Anyway this is going to be very short as I need to leave to try and get home in one piece. Why you ask ??? Becasue it is god damn bastard snowing and well people in the UK fall to bits at the site of small white bloody flakes !!

Will do a big entry next time for you all !!! promise!!!!!


Friday, November 18, 2005

Life is Currently Shafting me right up the Backside Right now !!!

OH MY GOD !!!!! I am currently on the verge of a break down and when I say break down I mean head spinning rocking in a corner whilst attempting to chew my own arm off break down. You are now either very worried for me, very scared of me ( most are ) or thinking dramatic cow ! Here are the reasons for the break down, yep reasons there are more then one right now !!

Firstly for the last 24 hours I have been working on something at work for a customer no names no details to obviously save my ass from any backlash. I have been busting my ass to get this to work and run smoothly..... And it has not !! I have called 4 different countries I have broken rules ( only small ones and after all for my customer as they always come first !! ) I have worked late and come in early to sort it . Only to be told just when all was completed and I could have this satisfied grin on my face that they no longer wanted it and were going to cancel !!!!! At this point in time I wish to find the nearest bar drink my self stupid pick a fight with some local scally cow and then stumble home ( bare in mind it is only 4 in the afternoon ) . I do try my best at work but I will also be the first to admit that I can become slightly impatient and can not handle indecsion either which does not help when dealing with customers. I have recently been try to make a serious effort to slow down take a step back and calm down before dealing with potentially volatile situations ..... This was my first major test and well I am fairly sure I handled it better then previous occasions

Secondly ...... Winter drivers in the UK !!! Jesus people get a fucking grip ok ! There is no snow on the ground there is no frozen ice there are no blowing snow storms or minus 30 temperatures. There is only a bit of frost on you cars!! Yet you all decide to drive like dick heads!!!! You break randomly you panic when the light goes yellow and you drive like you are 85 have no vision left and have the reaction time of those ugly things that hang in trees, sloth's. I do not have time in my mornings to have to pussy foot round you bastards ok ! Pull your thumbs learn how to drive or if you are that god damned scared of killing yourselves, which you eventually will due to your shitty driving skills, take the fucking bus !!!

Thirdly ....Fireworks!! Bonfire night is over you deliquient shits !! It was over almost 2 weeks ago!!! Please stop or I will hunt you down and shove the damn firework up your ass to see how much ya like it then ok ?? Understand ?? Probably not because you are more then likely a thick little bastard who thinks school is far to uncool for you. Also explain why you let the fire works off in the day?? ya can't see it !! Is it the funny little sound that amuses you ??? Cause it does not fucking amuse me in my afternoon nap on a Sunday ( yes I nap on Sunday's dare you to make funny of me in my present state of mind come on dare you )

So yeah shafted right now shafted and not best pleased. I am going to go to the gym after work ( 25 mins to go ) and work my fat ass off to the point of exhaustion and then drink some vodka and pass out in bed by 8. I am a product of my upbringing, the answer to all is booze !!!
happy weekend all !!

p.s if there are spelling errors on this one just let it go it is obvious I am slightly off balance at present !

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

What makes you Happy? What Makes you Laugh?

Those are two very big questions in life I believe and also two very important ones as well.


A multiple of things made me happy when I was a kid some things maybe considered well odd !
I took great pleasure in torturing my little brother to no end this of course made me endlessly happy. But it was also a happiness that was shared with my younger sister Alex who also found happiness in this recreational sport ! Was great ( he got big we stopped no more happiness unfortunately )

I believe through my teens I took great pleasure and created that happy feeling within myself by effectively being a pain in the ass ( some would say I am currently still am a pain in the ass just a more refinded one with possibly a bigger vocabulary ) I do think that deep down most teens make it their mission to be a pain in the ass and do make themselves happy by doing that.

Now that I am adult ( or so I like to convince myself I am adult) My aim for happiness has shifted drastically!! I want very adult things like stability and well general contentment if that makes sense. It suddenly dawned on me that this meant I had grown up that I was semi rational and well adult like at times. I now get sheer joy out of things like a Ikea catalogue !!! Oh my good god that is not normal but it makes me happy!!

I also think we all look for things to make us happy. Men want a wife that they can brag about to there buddies about either in a nice way or lets face it in a filthy way. Women obviously are much harder to please and as a women I will be the first to admit this. We want everything to be perfect we want a lovely house with enviable furnishings. We want a husband boyfriend or partner that is the strong type but the sensitive type at the same time ( this of course makes men spin on the spot and they have no idea if they are coming or going) Women want that feeling of a strong minded man I truly think this makes them happy. I have to say I do think along those lines. We do not like weak men as then there is no challenge. Women also want that lifestyle that well lets be honest only 10% of the population getyou know the one with 2 holidays a year and garden parties in summers things like that.
So yeah basically that is my idea of what makes people happy , maybe not everyone and maybe there are people that disagree but the general idea of what I wrote is something people want to create happiness.


Now this is a whole different kettle of fish it has to be said.

When I was a kid it was watching my little brother being picked on by my sister and then joining in making him beg for mercy ( we currently are not able to do this due to the fact that he suddenly became a giant and well he is actually turning into a decent human being as well pains me to say that of course )

When I was a teen it was watching what I deemed as the popular girls or bubble heads make tits of themselves god damn used to laugh when they did something deemed as ' uncool' was great.

Now though god damn things make me laugh all the time!! For example recently my cat got some tape stuck on his tale and I had hours of pure amusement due to the fact that he ran round chasing his tale trying to get the tape off. Then when he did get it off got stuck on his wiskers and there was yet more laughter.
TV is well and truly funny right now I mean Little Britain alone is the most laughable funny thing out there right now.
But even funnier as it was when I was a teen is watching people make tit's of themselves you know falling up stairs and tripping on the sidewalk. After they do these clumsy things the funny bit is actually the look on their faces and the thought that is virtually scrolling across their foreheads in neon lights that reads ' no one saw me do that absolutely no one !! I am fine and I am graceful' mean while I purposely stare at them and laugh scrolling again ' Fuck that evil bitch saw me and now she is laughing and going to tell everyone she knows about me !!'
Ok you may now be thinking Louisa is evil but damn I so know deep down you are all thinking ' yeah I may have a laugh as well ha ha'

So I basically believe that the current human population likes to laugh at other peoples expense and love watching others make absolute fools of themselves. Pure slap stick comedy is what it boils down to at the end of the day
babble finished now !

Friday, November 11, 2005

Blogging From Brussels

Hello all!! As you can guess I am currently writing to you from Brussels sitting in my sister Alex's flat or as it should be called a show box ha ha !! I will never complain about the size of my flat and feel nothing but sympathy for my sister! You could almost out stretch your arms and touch a wall on either side!! But I will say it is very cute and it has a lovely balcony as well which when the sun is out would be really nice. So I am glad I have been able to see where my little sister now lives and can safely say it is not a crack house !!

Right back to the trip. Matt and I caught the Eurostar this morning and I have to say I was really impressed with it all. Train was comfortable seats big and nice smooth uneventful ride was perfect to be honest. We are staying in the Radisson right off the grande place and it is amazing ! 5 star hotel amzing room lovely design and completely worth the trip for if anything oh yeah obvious to see Alex is worth it as well!!

So yeah will be doing all the tourist things tomorrow and then Matt is taking me for a nice belated birthday dinner and then back to normal life.
Can't wait for tomorrow plan on making myself ill off waffles !!!!
Oh yeah in case you are wondering to yourself ' why is Louisa on a weekend break and blogging ?!?!' well Alex is making us dinner so just relaxing after a days traveling and looking forward to the steak for dinner !!
have a great weekend all !!

Thursday, November 03, 2005

Nothing better then Speaking to Your Parents

You know when I was a kid I would sort of dread speaking to my parents for fear of them finding out what terrible evil thing I had done as a kid or a teenager. They seemed to have this way of knowing without me even speaking and damn that scared the shit out of me! And it was my mum who seemed to be the best at it.

There was one area where we seemed to out smart the old parent firm. Alex and I were brutal to a then little George ( not so little now at about 6"5 ) We did horrible things to him like duct taped him to a pole in out basement stuffed a sock in his mouth and proceeded to write, with permanent pen mind you, idiot but spelt ediot !! ha ha left him there for a few good hours. We used to sit on him tickle him till he pissed himself !! You know we always managed to blame these things on George and we got away with it 90% of the time. Then he got big beat the crap out of me one day never picked on him again. Even stranger now he has kinda taken the place of Dad and become slightly protective of his big sisters awwwwww!

Anyway back to Mum She has only gotten better at it since my Dad died 7 years ago. It was like she sapped up all his super human lie detecting skills to double her super parenting skills. Truly scary when you think about it. Unlike a lot of kids myself, Alex my sister and George my brother generally were not able to play one parent off the other they were intertwined and knew when the kids were working them. I mean we had friends who would call our dad sergeant scary ok ! How bad is that !! And our mum had these super human strengths of knowing exactly what we were up to or worse to get it out of us. They played kid off kid, which proved highly effective.

When I moved to the UK 4 years ago I thought I would be out of this super human mum radar and be safe .....How wrong was I ! My mum can still phone me have a conversation then ask me if the place is clean?? I lie say yep sure is mum spotless. And that would be my fatal error using the word spotless cause she so knew that would defy all laws on earth for me to be spotless. SO then I will break down and say yes will clean it up not dirty just untidy that's all. What makes it worse is that I will start cleaning whilst on the phone with her still !!!!!!!!!!!!! As if she will ever know I did half way across the world !!!!! So this has gone on for the first 3 1/2 years when my mum calls ... But something has changed lately

My mum speaks to me differently now like well like I am a adult that can hold a half decent conversation. I no longer annoy her anymore I think plus she genuinely seems truly happy to speak to me !! Now please do not get me wrong my mum is a super star and yes I do know she loves her ' blossom' as she calls me but I also know that I have been the bane of my mothers existence for the last decade or so and only recently have I realized what a pain in the ass I was.

I love calling my mum now you know. Seriously for some reason always have a stupid grin on my face after and well the evening always goes well too after a chat with her. But hey she still has a go such as ' stop spending money ?' ' remember you owe me money ?' ( by the way what kid does not owe their parent money I ask ?? ) ' still smoking ?? You do know it is killing you ??'
Basically the usual things. But not nearly as bad as it once was which is kinda nice to be honest.

So there you go there is nothing better then speaking to your parents. They make you think and reevaluate things in your life. They manage to cheer you up and at the same time knock your cocky ass back on the ground which I think everyone most definitely needs once and a while

Yep I went mushy on you all today sorry have to be mushy and sentimental on the odd occasion has to be done !

Wednesday, November 02, 2005


Home. Home is most definitely Canada for me. Recently I have been inundated with questions regarding my home. The biggest ones are what are you doing here in the UK ? And Will you ever go back to Canada and where would you live?
So I have to say it has been on my mind a lot of late.
Why do I stay here ?? Not sure to be honest something about it pulls me in. I love the lifestyle and the fashion. I however do not like the cost of living and sometimes the restrictions as well. By that I mean the cost of the living adds a massive amount of restrictions on what you can do in the sense that you are limited financial. However there are so many more things to do here in the cities then back in Canada. Things like Museums are generally free which is wicked as far as I am concerned. Also as much as the British complain about the bad public transportation it is amazing in comparison!! Never understood why they complain about it all makes no sense at all.

Things that kinda suck are the the kids over here. The are rude badly brought up, lack morals and ethics, they are lazy, and most of all they are thugs and bullies. I would never in my wildest dreams allow any child of mine to be brought up over here or to be educated over here as there seems to be some serious things lacking such as simple discipline. The government well it kinda sucks but what makes it worse is the fact that at present there is no creditable option to lean towards. They seem to have neglected the health care system and have forgotten the basic needs of ordinary people and are more concerned with their inside conflicts and bickering.

But right now I still like living here if I am honest.

Canada hmm. What can I say it is magnificent and beautiful. There are lovely people and cultures over there and they are generally embraced whole heartedly by other Canadians. Do not get me wrong there are still the same issues over there as there are here about refugees and people seeming to think that all people different are spongers and evil.

It is clean !!!! Oh sweet lord it is clean over there and I miss that. I also miss winter never thought the day would come when I would say I miss winter ! What I miss about it is that feeling on a Sunday morning when you lie in bed ake up and look out the window to -30 and winter wonderland. Where the window is frozen shut and there are ice crystals everywhere and it is bright white. And all you do is snuggle that little bit further down into the covers enjoy the warmth and stay there. It is something everyone needs to experience once in their life.
I miss my family a lot as well. It is not so much the physical people but the feeling you get from having them about even when you are arguing. It is just nice to have that support network about you when ever you want. I think a lot of people tend to foget that unlike them I am here alone so when things go wrong I am not able to just pop over to my mum's and bash it out. If I want a day with my family I do not get it. So unlike others most nights I go home and well that's it me and the cat.

Would I ever go back?? A year ago I said no would never go back to Canada , 6 motnhs ago I also said nope never going back. Now yes I can safely say my mind has changed and eventually I want to go back. There are so many reasons.
First the cost of living and lifestyle is better by far and completely proven now as well the best place to live in the world is Canada more specifically Vancouver which is where I would want to move back to. The job prospects are better the houses are bigger classier and lets face it a damn site bloody cheaper then the shit over here in the UK !!! Only in the UK would you have a room called a box room !!!!! ( Canadian translation : fucking tiny guys )

The food is better as well as in more fresh fruit and veg and cheaper better quality. But the biggest thing is Canada I believe or at least certain parts of it are on a major up turn and boom and so completely worth it! So yeah I will eventually move back to the mother land and live there for my own sanity. When?? Not a clue at all!! Need to pay my car off firstly ha ha !!

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

I am turning into a old lady ...... And Kinda like it !!

Last night I was in a long text discussion with the lovely Sarah. The premise of the entire conversation ( if you can call texting a conversation not sure on that on?? ) was who was the older acting lady.
While she was telling me she was already in bed ( 6:30 !!) in her warmest cloths tucked up. I was telling her I was curled up on the couch in PJ's heating on full blast considering just going to bed .
She one upped me then with the fact that she was eating a chocolate mint orange and watching .....Wait for it ...... Bill Oddy's wildlife adventures !!!! oh my god that is such a OAP thing to do !
But I do believe I beat her as I advised her I was on the couch watching eastenders with not 1 but 2!!! hotwater bottles on me plus I was eating digestive hmmmm

So anyway I have decided that maybe getting old is not a bad thing. Maybe being able to curl up on your bed or couch and do fuck all when ever you wish is pretty damn cool.
And anyone who slates hot water bottles is missing out big time. They are great and not just for old people either it has to be said. It is like heaven in a little rubber bottle hmmmm want a hot water bottle now .....hmmmmm

Plus there are hidden benefits to being old as well I think. You can slag of just about every young person out there and people let you !!! Because you are old !!! You get to ride the bus for free as well. Although I find that slightly amusing cause buses are not the easiest things to get on and when you are 85 and have had 2 hip replacements you really would not want to get on would you lets be honest !?
You get lower council tax !! And you get assitance with your utility bills.
So basically I have decided screw being young I want to be a crazy OAP and live the high life !!!

So as you may be able to tell I have completely resigned to getting old and I am now in fact embracing it and well god damn cannot come quick enough.
All I need to do now is convince Sarah some how that she will not die a old crazy spinster lady and even if she is a spinster she can come live with me and we can be crazy OAP's together like bonny and Clyde ( but not so gangster like )
Believe my new mission in life is to get people to embrace getting old to be OAP's even in their 20's and 30's

( so not going to succeed in this mission am I ? )

Sunday, October 30, 2005

Happy Birthday to me Happy Birthday to meeeee!!!!!.....

Unless you are a fool and can't read ( and if you can't why the hell are you attempting to read my blog ?! ) it is my Birthday well sort of as my Birthday was yesterday.
I am officially the bad side of my 20's ! I am 27 three years off 30 oh my god !! A slightly terrifying prospect!
I had a good birthday though it has to be said. On Saturday I went out with Sarah who is fast becoming best friend for me as she is so damn cool and lovely and has the biggest heart out there. Anyway we had a proper girls day. Went shopping to the Mecca known as primark hmmmm I love primark so so much. Went book shopping and then had a fab lunch at a super nice place in West Disdsbury. Then we went back to our places and had a lovely mid afternoon kip and then once rejuvenate went to get our hair done! Was the perfect pre Birthday day out. On my actual Birthday I was a little more relaxed just chilled at home basically . I did go to the gym and had a mega session of cardio which yes I realize is odd to do on your Birthday but I loved it. Then went and shopped a load more !!! I finally bought a pair of trainers I have envied fro sometime and got them in a massively good sale
reduced from £65.00 to £16.99 !Yeses you can pick your jaw off the floor it is really I did get them at thebargainin price stated and I have just attempted to put a pic on here to show you what they look like but it is not playing nice today ( computer by the way ) and not working. So if you go on the skecheAmericanan website and look under sneakers for women they are called antic and they are black and white. loveoe my trainers hmmmm
Also treated myself to a new hand bag which is lovely as well. So yep basically I treated myself on actually birthday. Then met up with the lovely Sarah again and had the mosdivinene Sunday roast dinner hmmm Lamb hmmmmm
so that was my Birthday weekend.
I got some lovely gifts well. My mum sent me £40 which I will expand on later as to what I spent that on. Matt got me the full set of the lacoste Pink perfume which was lovely plus a new scarf glove hat set all in black with a really long scarf which was perfect. He has another gift but I do not get that until we go to Brussels to see Alex in 2 weeks. Plus he winotnto give me decent hints and Alex knows whatit is and won't spill either grrrrrr!
Matt's parents were extra lovely and gave me a £20 gift voucher for Boots otherwise known as heaven to me Spent the £20 plus another £10 but was so well worth every suingle penny over spent
And Sarah helped pay for my hair cut with was so nice na dthe perfect gift and I enjoyed it as well with her as she got hers done at the same time. So all in all perfect Birthday by a mile

Right I have been off sick for a week and this is my first day back into human society and adult human conversation ( hard when it is me I know ! ) I had the awful aweful evil cold last week. I mean evil ! I had no voice for 5 of the 7 days and when I did attempt to speak I sounded evil. tracey at work decided I sounded like Patty and Selma off the Simpsons and even though I threatened to killer her for this comparison deep down I knew she was bang on. Event he damn cat hid as the sound that came out of my mouth was terrifying to him and was not his mummy ha !
Right now back to the £40 that my mum sent me for Birthday. I bought a slow cookerYes!!! yes I know this is odd and strange but I love it! I can cook all sorts in it. Seriously I have not stopped since I gHavet. have chili chilli a stew and soup and today it is currently cooking back Mediterraneaneranian chickenIhmmm. i am hoping the novelty wears off soon as I am ever increasingly running out of room in my tiny little freezer!!
right leaving it at that for now

Friday, October 21, 2005

I am far to Envious of others it is not Healthy !!

I have recently come to the conclusion that I have a major fault ( yes yes one of many whatever ! ) I am a far to envious person. I do not just envy the good looking people and the lucky but I envy things like nice houses nice cars in fact nice damned lives !!

This envy initially started when I lived by myself for the first time in the UK 2 years ago now. Before that I shared in various houses and a few really nice houses at that ! Anyway I moved into this flat in Whalley Range where I was likely the only white girl due to the fact that it was smack dab in the middle of the Afro Caribbean area. Plus you could not miss me for my sticker onto he back of my bright green Clio which read ' Canadian girls kick ass!' and yes the sticker is still there. Strangely no one has ever challenged me as of yet but I do get sheer amusement as I watch the builders in their white vans in the morning reading the sticker through my rear view mirror !! Right sorry digressing a little back to the envy. Anyway was well chuffed with myself and my first ' by myself flat' reminded me of Bridget Jones but not so sad. I was in new home bliss for exactly 24 hours and that was it. I then realized when they said unfurnished they bloody well meant it. There was nothing in this place seriously no cooker no washer no curtain into he shower for gods sakes there were no plugs nor a fridge ( had to put my pint bottle of milk on the first day in a sink of cold water !!! ) I slowly began to envy every person I saw even ones I did not know. I was thinking things like ' yeah smile away you air head just because you have a fridge makes you no better then my you bimbo !!'
What made this worse was the fact that I had just left my job as well so I was skint I mean so so poor so it took me ages to get myself sorted and even then it was not great. I had a stella beer fridge for a fridge and I never actaulyl got a cooker whilst I lived there you know ! I found amazing things to do with the free microwave that was given to me. So yes I was a envious cow all the time constantly and never endingly!
I eventually moved out of this shit hole and around the corner to a rung up the ladder of shit holes and I was in heaven it had everything even a bloody couchand plugs !!!!! I have been enchanted for some unknown reason by my little flat for the last year but horribly the envy is creeping back and the enchantment is wearing off rapidly. It has bad windows and horrible green carpet with a matching sofa. The walls have damp and the floor is uneven. I am making the envy worse lately by looking what is being advertised to rent out there right now and god dammit life sucks cause those lovely flats round the corner from me are just the same inside damned lovely !!!! But they are also 450 pounds a month over 100 pounds more then what I currently pay. It is not fair at all!!
So now I look at my flat and think can I make this look better more modern and have come to the conclusion it is not humanly possibly to!!!

other things I am envious of : people with amazing groups of friends
people with cars that never seem to get dirty
people with well behaved pets who everyone coos and ooos over not like my bastard cat who everyone calls unbalanced.
People who always have perfect hair !!!! How is that possible ?!?!
people who say things like ' never had a single problem with my teeth ' I think you will in a minute if you keep rubbing it !
People who have lovely smelling houses always . I try this but for some reason it never has that smell of perfection ever and the more I try the more I get high off the amount of air fresheners I use at once ( note : do not mix and pine smells with berry smells so does not work at all )
People that manage to get others to turn heads when they walk down the street . I believe that they are actually robots sending out subliminal messages to stare !
People with narrow feet ! You lucky bastards !!! I so cannot wear all those lovely strappy shoes due to my duck like feet !!!
People who own their own house in the UK that are my age . Considering the average house now costs £150,000 how the hell are you doing this are you pimping yourself out to pay the mortgage!!!!

So yes everyone I am envious of just about everything I guess and you know what ??Soso what I can if I want to dammit !!

Friday, October 14, 2005


Thank you to the man at the Tescos at 6 am for telling me I had toilet paper on my shoe!!!!
Thank you to the women at asda petrol station at 6:3- this mornign for telling me I had actually put my shirt on inside out !!! Thanks for that you evil cow!!
thanks to the work colleague for informing me this morning that my fly was undone and I was flashing my orange and white tropical palm printed le senza underwear at him ( I so know he saw it !!! ) bastard !!
thanks to my landlord for telling me that the shit he destroyed in my bedroom by his own sheer stupidity by flooding the flat above me !!! And then telling me he can only offer me 200 pound of insurance money as he needs to 'cover his cost as well' thanks you fucker !! Don't worry I will cover my costs by not paying my rent see how ya like that !!!
Thanks to the inbred illierate bastard at asda behind the till who refuses to admit the charged me double for everything and then grunts at me that I need to go to the customer service desk to get it sorted even though he believes there is nothing wrong with what he did ?!?! yep that is why you work at asda you muppet !!!

as you may be able to tell I am in a slightly and somewhat aggressive mood today and well I am letting it out!! Plus it is Friday and my theory is that the world rights itself every Friday and goes tits up every Monday! So it seems appropriate to let it all out to vent it before the weekend starts.
so yes thank you to all the assholes out there who brighten my life on a daily bastard basis and enriching it with your intelligent wit and humor !!! Yeah right !

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Beds, They are great you know

I love my bed !! In fact I sometimes believe that I possibly lust after my bed. I know this may sound odd or possibly strange but it is true!! I get into work and all I can think about is my bed, I get in the car and all I can think about is how nice it would be to be in my bed. For gods sakes I sit on the couch and think damn I want to be in my bed ( at 5 in the afternoon !! )

So I started to think am I the only one like this and realized that I am not alone that others are like me. That others have their beds on their brains for at least half the day if not more. You think about it a bed is a lust and life long commitment all in one. I mean we dress it in pretty cloths and some people insist on adorning it with those stupid fluffy animals as though they think it makes it look sweet ( it does not can I say it makes it look like a psycho sleeps there men see this and run remember this girls THEY RUN AT THE SIGHT OF STUFFED ANIMALS ON BEDS !!!! ) We spend made amounts of money on our beds like we would with someone we love and cherish. So yes I also and inclined to believe some treat a bed as one of the family.

I have also come to understand that my cat ( cleo ) is in love or lusting after the bed as well. I know for a fact tha the sleeps on that bed all day and does not move what so ever. I know this due to the cemented in cat sized dent on the duvet and the extrodinarly warm patch he has been slumbering on for the last 8 hours non stop. It is funny when I get home he reminds me of myself when I was a kid. When we cam home from school we wre meant to do our chores then our homework and then look after the animals but instead we vegged in front of the TV! Like any normal kid of course! Anyway we would hear that front door open or that car pull into the drive and we would do the mad dash to hide the fact that in fact we were not following the rules and we were being bad kids ! Well the cat does this mad dash from the door as if to say 'nope I was not on the bed all day in fact I was bouncing about killing all bugs in sight mum' but sometimes he is in such a deep sleep on his bed that he only manages to lift his head of said duvet look at me as if to say ' come on I am a cat what the hell do you bloody expect of me ?!?!?!'
So yes the cat also I believe has bed lust as well.

There is nothing better then crawling into bed in the middle of winter with a hot water bottle a good book and clean sheets. I have to say that I would almost call it a hobby. I prepare myself for these nights like you would stretch for the gym. I have a meal that is what you would call a comfort meal like soup or roast chicken. Then I have a bath with my book ( yeah ok and a fag as well ! ) make a cup of tea get in fresh jammies and presto I am ready for the big event!! Getting into my bed hmmmmm
So yes as stated beds are great ! As stated yes I love and lust my bed !
hmmmm bed .............

Monday, October 10, 2005

The weekend and then random stuff

Hello All
Yep it is Monday, Yes I so wish it was Friday better yet I wish it was actually Saturday but because I cannot alter time with my supper powers it is still Monday !!
I had a weekend down in London and had a great time. Went to a Australian Rules Football match and god I loved it. I have also realized that I love violence in sport as well! My god they play rough and I have to say I so cheered them on like a mad women. There was a number of full on brawls on of which was right infront of us. You knew you were in a stadium that had 17000 people in it and half were Aussies if not more and all you here is punch him you mongrel bastard!! Pure bloody class loved every minute of it ! So yes that is what I did this weekend and loved it.

It is thanksgiving weekend in Canada this past weekend. I fully admit that I got a little homesick for it all if I am honest. I miss that smell of my mum's holiday cooking. Turkey and roast potatoes and she also said she was making her legendary leek potato and bacon pie. When she mentioned this on the phone I then became even more homesick and a little tear may possibly have appeared in my eye at the thought of it all. I think I also though miss the company more then the food. All the regulars who come round for these occasions always around 2 - 3 pm all baring booze and sweets as gifts. Uncle Murray normally brings the best stuff in the booze area, normally champagne and aunty Sandy normally brings the yummy desserts. So yes I did get homesick for it all.

Recently I have thought more and more what it would be like if I did move back home. Things like would I regret leaving here? Would I get a decent job? Would I find a nice place to live? Would I even like it ? I have got as far as asking myself the questions and then never actually thinking of the answers. I am fairly sure that I only think of this when I speak to my Mum or brother and it only is a fleeting or passing thought. I still enjoy living here and have a great life and friends so no point right now is there ?

I was watching the news this morning and was completely and utterly shocked and disgusted when a report came on about a man brutalized by the New Orleans police department. This just concretes my line of thought that the vast majority of not only the public but the people in positions of powers are no more intelligent then a chicken. The fact that a human being can do that to another is one thing but the fact that a human being which is a police officer who knows he is on camera and continues to do it is a completely different thing!! The sheer stupidity and inbredness of some of the American population is proven in this video clip. The narrow minded people that get into positions like police officers and politicians is also proven in this video clip. But what gets my goat the most is the fact that at the end of the day America is a democracy and they voted this administration and this government in and so they have only themselves to blame. By voting these people in again these problems seem to get worse and more and more swept under the rug. No doubt in 48 hours time that mans beating for being drunk and ok possibly abusive will no longer be a issue there will be a new issue for people to latch on to for another few days.

Monday, October 03, 2005

Work, life more dating stuff and so on and so forth

Yes I realize I have been very quiet of late. It has been part laziness and part not been in the mood and a lot of things to mull over about as well.

Lots of things have been going down at work which I cannot fully discuss over my blog due to the nature of it but it is not great and has made me re think my position as well. I do love my job and on a whole I enjoy the people I work for as well there are the odd ones that grate on me just as I am sure I grate on them. But yeah I do love my job and I am losing some sleep over the goings on of recent events. When I am able to I will obviously elaborate on this all for you.

On a life front well hmmmmm ... Yeah not a whole lot has gone on actually !!!! I have been living a hermit's life ..... And freakin loving it! Love going home closing the door and that's it no one to bother me no phone ringing no attitude coped off at me by others ( aside from the cat will expand on this in a minute ) just me !! My space no one else and it is bloody great.

The cat ! Well the cat has now got a some what diva like approach to life now which disturbs me on many levels. You may be asking how can a cat a boy cat at that have a diva like approach to life ???? Well he does ! You must remember this is the gender confused cat so his start in life was mixed up anyway. His Diva behavior is as follows: he now refuses to eat out of is dish unless it is completely full to the brim. He then refuses to eat past the half way mark of the bowl which means I cannot remember the last time I actually saw the bottom of the bowl let alone the bowl empty. That is not normal people!! I tried the tough love approach by refusing to place anymore food in the bowl until he had eaten what was in there ( which was the equivalent of 2 meals worth) HE REFUSED TO EAT IT !!!!! he wandered round the flat for 2 solid days crying moaning and lying on the floor playing dead whilst peaking throuh one eye to see if his mama was actually feeling sorry for him and giving in. Well I gave in , I had to give in anyone who would have heard this cat would have thought he was a seriously mistreated and abused cat !! For the record this cat lives the life of Riley ok no abuse what so ever.
Second Diva moment was when I went to bed and the cat actually threw a complete fit because I had removed the pillow that was at the end of the bed that he was sleeping on. When I say fit he actually started to cry no word of a lie ! Then he went down to the pillow on the floor and rather then just giving in realizing he is only a cat after all and sleeping on it there, he got the damned thing between his teeth and attempted to carry it back on the bed ( he failed miserably ! )
so yeah I have decided that if I am not able to raise my relatively stupid feline friend to be a respectable member of society then I am certainly not cut out for raising small snotty real live children !!
Dating : As stated in previous entry I had a gather with same girlfriends of mine and we discussed dating ettiqute and rules and more have cropped up since this meeting such as:

Act your age boys this means both young and old. You do not need to act like a 14 year old boy seeing a naked women for the first time in your life but on the flip side you should not act like a 50 year old man saving his coupons for a big night out at the local Chinese !!! It is a turn off seriously it really is !
Why do guys put so much pressure on about actually having sex ???? They do you know they build it up in their minds as the encore performance to a perfect evening or date when in actual fact it could just be crap! Women tend to just think well if it happens it happens and if it doesn't well there are other means and ways to get where you want ! Ha ha so yeah guys stop it it is not a big deal stop making it out to be the end all and be all
This actually came up again it was asked of me to enforce this point out on my blog again. We do not like guys who act nervous and unconfident it makes us edgy really does! Whether it is in normal conversation in public or in the bedroom . Pretend if you don't have confidence ok ?!
And finally yes it is trued we all like nice guy a sweet guy with a personality and a sense of humor but we also like a well turned out well dressed fashionable guy. It is true most women whether it is a little bit or a lot are image conscious we cannot help this it is just that way . Do not question it
right think that's enough for one day from me as I am far to lacking in ambition today to be able to type anything remotely intelligent and thoughtful. However I will attempt thoughtful and intelligent next time promise !

Monday, September 26, 2005

Part 1 . My Mother and her Chainsaw .... Part 2 The World of Dating

Morning, Afternoon and Good evening all :)
well I had a interesting weekend it has to be said!! Will Go with part 1 first

My Mother and her Chainsaw

I called my sister yesterday to say hi and catch up. She is fine by the way still world dominating !! Anyway she said mum called her well that irritated me cause mum had not called me !?!?! Why ! grrr So I thought best give her a quick call see if she is still alive and all is well. After multiple attempts and no answer to which I kept thinking for fuck sakes it is a Sunday it is the afternoon over there what could she possibly be doing ?!?! I got my answer ! And here is the following conversation we had:

Mum: Hello ( very very out of breath )
Me: Hi Mum its Louisa

she calls me back at this point to save my mobile bill ( my mummy is lovely !! )

Me: hi mum how are you ??
Mum: ( out of breath still ?!?! ) good dear how are you everything ok ??
Me: yep all is fine and dandy mum life ticking along blah blah . ummm mum why are you out of breath what are you doing ??
Mum: OHHHH !!! I got a new toy !!!

At this point I am worried and wondering if the conversation is safe to continue ???
Me: Right ok ( confused in fact at a loss )
Mum: Do you want to hear it ????? ( she of courses sounds like a over excited kid at Christmas )

Terrified now !
Me: hmmm ok ??? What is it exactly mum ??

wait for it everyone ...........................................

Mum: A CHAINSAW !!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have a chain saw here listen

she proceeded to put the phone down and rev up her brand new chainsaw !! All I could hear was that terrifying sound of wirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And I had visions of my mum in some Jason mask laughing maniacally !
needless to say I never thought 4 years after I moved over to the UK the day would come when my mother would have me listen to her new toy, a chainsaw, over the phone.
It was sureal everyone truly madly off and so my mother loved it. Seriously been giggling about it since not stopped !

The world of Dating

This weekend went and saw the 40 year old virgin with Matt and loved it seriously wicked film!! Brilliantly made laugh a minute and freakishly realistic in some ways in regards to how men think.
Anyway went out with some of my girlfriends on Sunday foir a drink and we came up with some great amazing rules for men or at least common sense things after talking bout this movie as follows:
1. As much as we say we like new age sensitive men we do not like them so sensitive we are scared of making them bloody cry. We like them to have a back bone to be assertive always
2. We like men who act their age. Oh my sweet lord why do grown men revert to 14 year old boys when around any sort of women they like possibly like or well lets face it has a pair of tits ( boys do not call them boobies !!! We call them tits so should you for gods sakes !! )
3. Men who pay always go up in out our estimations !! We actually argued over this one at first as we do believe in equality and all that but for the first while of dating we were all in agreement. We do not like being expected to Dutch everything.
4. Sex. We do not care if you are a sex god or a never had type of guy what we do care about is that fact that again you do not act like a snotty nosed 14 year old about to get layed for the first time guys !!! Come one !! We do not like it when you do everything at warp speed this includes kissing and moving your tongue around like the damned thing is on fire !! If you need help in this department ask a mate there are also books out there read up please !!!
5. But most of all the over all opinion was that we like a guy to be confident please!! Even if you are not confident pretend begging you all to pretend. It is off putting if you are a wimp

there were more rules which in the future with the permission of the other girls will be mentioned on here but they were more serious ones!!! ha ha
right bye for now ! Comment if you like !

Thursday, September 22, 2005

And so it begins again .... rita is here !!

You know it amazes me everytime I turn on the TV and I see these mad crazy stupid scenes being beamed across the pond by the BBC to my little 14 inch telly! 100 mile traffic jams people running out of petrol, people looking like they are being roasted nice and golden ,like potatoes on a Sunday roast in there cars. Right Texas or at least the Gulf has known Riat was coming for a good week to 2 weeks right? No matter what this was going to be a bad one it will never end well. Rita will not decide suddenly ' hmmm giving up this hurricane shit going back to where I came from' God Dammit why do they insist on evacuating all at the same time all down the same Highway rather then doing it logically like so : non essential works ( mall workers , clothing shop workers restraunt workers ) go on the first day {( not including McDonald's as Huston is officially the fattest city in the USA and well you would have a whole lot of angry fat people if that was shut lets be honest !! ) next day semi essential people supermarkets and office workers and then finally essentials like hospitals and coast guards and what not. But no they have to do everything big ! Everyone out all at once all at the same time down the same shitty highway . Just blows my mind seriously does.
Was listening to radio one and the funniest person I have known on radio, Chris Moyles BBC 1 Breakfast show , ( listen on line if you want to hear him guys bloody brilliant ) anyway he brought up a point. Love the fact that they name these horrible evil destructive things after women ha ha !! How fitting is that really when you think about it. All the men out there who have wives named Rita and think she is a whirling dervish of a bitch this is your time for letting your anger out. Let people know that your wife named Rita is a horrible women and if they do not believe you politely inform them that she is similar if not identical to Rita the hurricane you will feel better after that promise you.
Either way though I may slag off complain bitch and moan about the way they are handling this situation over there but my thoughts and my prayers are with all of them and I can only hope that it is not going to end in the fashion of New Orleans and people come out on the bright side of this , alive.

Right enough of my moaning will stop now and let you get on with your life comment if you like good or bad is perfectly fine with me
have a good weekend all !!!

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

New Orleans, Would you have stayed ???? Not a chance !!

If you looked up in the sky and you saw that would you have honestly stayed to defend your propertie and worldy goods???? I have to answer from my gut and say snow balls chance in hell I would have stayed. Even if I was in a disadvantaged area with no mood of transportation I would have got my ass out of there!!

Skies are not meant to be that color thatis your first clue something very wrong is about to happen !!

Monday, September 12, 2005

My Cat was meant to be a manipulative Small Child

Hello :) All is so so in the world of Louisa. Has to be said that I am constantly tired no idea why but I could so so sleep for England right now!
Right the cat !!! Last night I am pleasantly sat/stretched on the couch last night. Meanwhile cleo/leo is madly running about my tiny flat chasing a flying bug of some sort with the full intent of catching it torturing it and then obviously eating it. Please bare in mind that my ceilings are a good 10 feet or more height and this bug is right at the ceiling. So you're now thinking the possibilities of this cat catching this thing are zero ! Wrong he gets them everything just watches and waits till it drops down and then does this Herculean leap and gets em ebverytime. So last night he was on a mission to get this bastard and he was determined to do it. He was hiding behind the couch trying the that's of it can't see me and it will drop and I will catch it sort of thing. The bug dropped down cat is behind me obviously watching this all ready to attack. The bug got smart !!!! Drops down sees cats twitching tail and body and shots up in the air. Stupid cat decides to follow it. This would have been fine except for the fact that following it consisted of leaping onto my head whilst digging his claws into my scalp !!! Stupid animal !! I shot up chasing the cat yelling ' YOU LITTLE BASTARD YOUR DEAD !!! BAD CAT BAD CAT !!' chased him into bedroom and closed door banishing him to the naughty room for a half hour. Anyone who would have heard this outside my world of the flat would have thought I was a abusive mother to a small child.
Anyway the cat was banished to the room after half and hour of kitty crying through the door. I decided he had learnt his lesson and was allowed out. As we walked back into the living room I and saying to him AS IF HE UNDERSTANDS ME !! ' what you did was very bad it hurt mummy don't do it again ! ' sat down and he joined me on his side of the couch and then he did it !! Like a small child that knows they have done wrong and the only way to make mum love you again is to pull on their heart strings and my good did he do that. He is sat there rolled over on his back with his little cat paws curled up in the air body twisted in this ungodly position looking up at me with big eyes saying ' come on lady how can you resist me you know I am cute now love me dammit !' Meanwhile I am saying to him ( out loud yep certifiable I am !! ) it is not working cleo your cute act is not working. I lasted 10 minutes and crumbled it worked and well I Loved him again.
By the way he caught that bug eventually and 2 more!! Really he is a good boy deep down !

Other then that not much else has happened. Oh have to say one thing has excited me !! I have randoms reading my blogs now !!!! Not just friends family and my work mates random people !! yep I am sad I know ! ! But it was cool to see a comment from someone I did not know someone who took the time to read what may be considered my boring random rambles about the cat purple toilet paper and other knowingly boring and strange things but have to say it validated it for me! So now I get even more excited when I see that little icon say comments and it has a number other then a 0 beside it !!!
yep sad as they can be !

Friday, September 09, 2005

The weekend is hear again yes!!!

Right I know I have been silent of late and I am so sorry for that all. It has been a made busy time and work is the main reason it has to be said. All is well though other then the fact that I am forever dreaming about cable of all things and this morning I woke up thinking I had fallen asleep at my desk !! How bad is that for Christ sakes !?!?!?!?
I have had no time for anything of late which includes cleaning. My flat currently looks like a bomb sight and I just wander rou nd it with eyes partially closed pretending it is not really that messy ha ha! Believe me it is ! Even the cat seems somewhat unhappy in it. So the mission today is to clean it and I mean clean !
It is also the last test in the ashes cricket this weekend. Have to say I am gripping the edge of my seat and actually loving it ( when it is on as it is pissing it down in London and the posh gits won't paly in a bit of rain ! ) so I am looking forward to that as well.

I am still in awe also of what is happening in the states and in New olreans I have never seen anything so despicable as that to happen in a country with satus like the US it is disturbing and a bit disheartening as well. It makes me wonder why ????? That is my one question it seems is why ??? At the same time without sounding rude or insensitive but the American public voted bush in and it is alsmot like lying in the bed you make for yourself. And even more disturbing is the fact they have another 3 years of this man as he will not just throw in the towel and give up we all know this.

Alex is doing great in Brussels and seems to love the fact that she has Multiple levels of security passes and clearances ha worl domination here she comes look out seriously !! She seems to be making friends well quickly and settled in brilliantly as well. As stated in a text ( yep she has a phone and she can text sort of still learning I think ha ) she is in a candy shop of good looking men and it is the best damned candy shop she has ever been in ha ha !!

right enough from me I need to get home and shower as just left gym and the guy beside me eating his bacon butty may be put off by the sweat ridden girl beside him ( hmmm the butty looks gooood ) and by the way yep he is gut although smells strangely of horse ?????

Saturday, September 03, 2005

natural disasters and my sister as well

afternoon . so so sorry for all the silence this week but it has been a bit hetic and busy of late and just not had the chance. I am fine have to say was not feeling great this week plus I had my cardio tests as well on thursday. Great fun felt like a rat in a ball as it was one of those ones they make you run on a tredmill. This is fine what is not fine however is the fact that they make you do this all in a mesh faux fabric gown open in the front. No bra and cloths but did look rather fetching with my blue trainers on !! so yeah still alive and awaiting the results will let you know if die before results arrive of course.

now for alex!!! oh alex alex alex !! She missed her plane everyone !!!! ha ha ha welkl not missed the emergency exits were broken ( slightly important at 30 thousand feet in the air ) and so she was stranded. She managed to get a flight next day but i got the paniced call of ' help stranded no eurostar till next morning help !! ' there was panic and stress in that girls voice and i hate to admit it was somewhat enjoyable to listen to smart as kid ha ha !! anyway i did the sisterly thing and got her sorted. Managed to find a place for her to stay paid booked her in. Called Eurostar begged with them to transfer her ticket. They said with out a letter from airline saying her plane was cancelled they would charge her 250 pounds ( 600 bucks !! ) so managed to yell enough at the zoom people got them to fax the letter to where she was staying so she had it upon arrival. How god damned bloody good am i !?!?!?!? i am god that is what i am not nearly as useless as i thought ha ! Anywa she calls me last night at midnight sounding somewhat pissed saying i had booked her into a party centeral place it was a bar ! ha and on top of that a mixed dorm room and she was greeted by mick the aussie in his tighty whiteys!! ha she was in heaven needless to say !! so i am awaiting to hear from her. will let her tell you on her blog all about the rest i am sure there are loads of details ha !

Was watching the news about the hurricane in the states and have to say felt pity and sympathy and then anger for them all over there. I have to ask and may be wrong but if the states were not in Iraq would they have had the man power to avert the aweful things going on right now in there own land??? how can people shot rape maim and kill others in the same desperate postion as themselves just shocking and stomach turning !!

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

No title as no point !

Will blog tomorrow promise way way to busy today actually have had to earn my keep at work!! My god the shovk and horror. Will explain my weekend though to you tomorrow look forward to:

growing a garden in my flat
attack of the killer vacuum
attack of the makes you extremely bone idle couch
and more fun things !!
no really was not that fun but oh well you get to hear about it ! Ha

Friday, August 26, 2005

It is a long weekend more importantly The last one Until Christmas !

Hello All
I have calmed down slightly since the toliet paper entry although I still am ranting about it and yes still have one roll of purple bloody toliet paper left as well.

As stated it is a long weekend this weekend and I am very happy about this of course. The thought of one less day in the working world and lazing about it always a happy and very good thing! Now most people plan these mad crazy long weekend sort of things you knwo going away or going out and getting madly drunked and trollied. Not me I plan on sleeping never neding sleep is the mission for me. Now when my ceiling decided it was not happy where it was and caved in a few weeks ago it decided to murder the curtians as well. Alas I have realised this is a bad thing as I am being woken up every morning at 8 am no fail! Even if I neck a bottle of wine swallow 2 sleeping tablets and stay awake till well past my bedtime I wake up. So the second part of my missiont o help the first part of my mission is to get some curtians sorted some how for my bedroom. I may fail miserably at this but god dammit I am going to try.
Now other news hmmm lets see. To be honest it has been very quiet and dull of late in my life not a huge amount has really happened at all. Cleo the cat is doing well and has recently decided he likes toast yep toast people. Not bread has to be toasted bread. This may be misunderstood as kitty abuse but swear it is not he makes up his own mind and does these things. He recently ran into the door no idea how he missed the bright white closed door but he did and lord did he hit it hard. Must say was one of the funniest things i have seen in sometime stupid cat !
Matt and I are off to Brussels in November to have our first weekend away and to visit my brain box sister. Cannot tell you how excited I am about this. Plus I have yet again realised what a lovely boyfriend I do have as he is paying for it and then I will be sorting out how to pay him back. If he did not do this we would never have made it anywhere as it is known well that I do not have spare money at all anywhere and it sucks. So we are staying in a 5 star hotel ( Radisson SAS ) and upgraded for only £8.00 to the king royal club room. It is so so nice.
Alex is happy abotu this visit and yesterday informed me that she will try and get some visitor passes for NATO as well! does she want to keep this job ????? letting me near a place like that may very well end in disaster he he!!
so yeah that is my exciting news
will leave it at that as I am sure you are terminally bored now and wish to bash your head about out of sheer boredem as well
have great weekend all speak to you soon :)

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

You know the toilet paper is bad when ......

right toilet paper ok odd thing to talk about but have to let this out and rant a little regarding toilet paper.

these are things that make you realize the toilet paper is bad :

1. When the cat will not play with it. By playing I mean taking one end of it dragging it to and fro your tiny 1 bedroom flat bathroom whilst shredding it and attacking it as if his life depends upon its death
2. When the packaging reads economy toilet paper. This should be made illegal there should never ever be the word economy in line with toilet paper !!!
3. Toilet paper that is any other color then white ! Why would you want purple toilet paper ????? Tell me the reasoning to this. You now see a veritable rainbow at the supermarket it is wrong and disturbing
4. Toilet paper that is recycled. I am all for saving the earth and environment but recycled toilet paper ?????? You are using it and when you use it you do not want to think of someone else once using it no matter how much technology has worked to make this safe !!!

you are now wondering what has brought this on what has made me so so upset about toilet paper ?? Well here it is. I ran out of toilet paper on Sunday and being the UK and no one working past well 10 in the morning ( actually to be fair they shut the shops at 4 which is still dumb as !) only the local family owned business was open so off I went in my grubbiest most scruffy cloths I owned to get my toilet paper. To my dismay all they had was recylced purple economy paper !!!! Oh sweet fucking lord ( sorry had to swear ) I had no choice but to purchase this. I have since realized the cat even hates it and will not play with it. Hence the of balanced rant above about toilet paper everyone

on a better note I have decided I wish to go to a spa in fact I am desperate to go to a spa for a weekend look at these pics !! To have that all weekend would be bliss more bliss I reckon then fags and booze althouh include fags and booze and I would become a squatter at the spa !

how damned happy and chilled do these women bloody look !!!


Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Driving ..... Drives me round the bend and back for another trip if need be

Right driving , I love it actually I think it is great almost relaxing at times. However recently I have become aware of the fact that I am ever increasingly becoming a road rage sort of girl! I mean the littlest things now set me off on a complete wobbler screaming swearing raging mess!
As you may know I come from the land of open roads and polite drivers otherwise known as Canadians and what a great bunch they all are. I mean they may drive massive vehicles and the vast majority may be inbred but at least they understand the general principles of driving a vehicle that ways at least a ton!
In the world of UK drivers well it is a whole different ball game! Firstly indicators !! Someone took the time to invent these little dinky dinky things that flash a lovely green and have the most unbelievable amazing use ...... Telling people where you are steering your death trap. They refuse to use them over here and if they do so happen to decide to humor drivers such as myself they use them literally as they are turning the corner tell me WHAT IS THE DAMNED POINT IN DOING THAT !!!!!??? IT IS TO LATE !!! I am already crawling up your ass because you are driving like a inbred dickhead! Seriously winds me up in case you were wondering
The other thing that gets my goat is braking ! My sweet lord these people brake because the sun is shining or because hmm they just bloody feel like it! Seriously you will be driving at a respectable speed possibly just over the limit one other car infront of you nothing in front of them and then BANG! He slams the brakes on so bleeding irritating stop it I beg you !!
you are probably wondering what brought this rant on well let me tell you. This morning I am happily ( or so I like to kid myself ) on my way to work. Now I like this time of driving as the red lights seem shorter there is less traffic and the people driving have to be at least semi intelligent as they are also ont heir way to work which in my naive mind means you must have at least 2 brains cells to rub together to get a job. Anyway driving along and I am approaching the one speed camera on my way and I slow down to the required limit of 30 miles a hour until the little white marker lines go away and I can speed back up to 40 miles a hour ( yes I know small children , drunks and rabbits are more likely to die at this speed !) when in my review mirror I see Jo blow the local scally in his beat up ford mondeo crawling up my ass. So I speed up a little thinking in my mind screw you buddy not getting by me it is a one way road. As I get further along the road I am slowed down by 2 buses and a big truck although I have slowed down dickhead as we will now refer to him by decides he is not and makes the decsion to join me in my car for tea he was that damned close !! Well I lost it went mental screamed blue murder at him waved him every rude gestrure I possibly knew and ensured all my windows were open so he could hear this abuse he so fully desvered!! Yet he continued to drive like a muppet!! Anyway I was nearing the end of my journey to work from hell when I came to a red light. Inbred man decides he is going to go into the turning lane beside me to jump me at the lights to get infront even though I was indicating to turn off the road as it was. This guy has his windows down and says whats your problem?! How could he evern ask me that !! I politely told him that his driving was my problem. He told me should have got out of the way ?!?!?! Oh my god lost it then and proceeded to tell him as the light was going green ( thank god as did not want to get battered ha ! ) that he was a inbred bastard that should never have been behind the wheel let alone have a license and that the sooner her realized that his shitty looking crap car was not a sports car the better !! Oh also told him he blatantly had a small dick ! Well he was dumbstruck and had no response back. I calmly drove away and made it to work feeling much better about myself
so there is my rant for the day ( sorry to subject you all to that but was very irritated and wound up by it all )

oh yeah fell out of bed in the middle of the night last night ! Ha nope I was not drunk stone cold sober !

Monday, August 22, 2005

Post weekend analysis

hello all !! :)

well back at work on 4th coffee 5 th fag and I have had to cat naps at my desk ( least I think I have as bits of the day seem to have disappeared from my memory hmm not good that )
it is not that I had a overly heavy weekend it is because I am getting old I believe. I just cannot live without 8 hours sleep a night anymore so not cool !

Anyway the weekend. Went down to Matt's for the weekend and had a lovely time. Pains me to admit this but I even really enjoyed the football !!! How very odd for all the moaning I do regarding this sport I actually had a really really good time at the match ( Watford vs Burnley in case you are asking ) So yes football was the first event. Went back to Matt's he got fish and chip takeaway for dinner ( that's right people he cannot cook I am serious a single thing and no microwaving is not cooking Matthew!!) the fish was sooooo yummmy hmmm.
Then it was out on the town in Watford. Met one of Matthew's best mates Gary who was lovely. Anyway let me tell you the girls down south are a completely different breed from the girls up north. For starters they all wear white shoes and boots !! Oh my god these girls need to be told that this does make them look like hookers serioulsy does not matter what they wear clothing wise the white shoes will make them look like hookers. I mean dress sense does not seem to exist down there was the oddest thing think I have ever seen. Needless to say it made me feel much better about my dress sense which at times can be some what dodgy and I will fully admit to that !
Then back home yesterday. Was so tired after my drive I passed out on the couch. Full on face stuck to the pillow tongue hangin out arm stuck in the extended position I left it in when I fell asleep. You may know what I mean by the arm thing as it is complete agony when you wake up and gets stuck at the elbow and you have visions of you being like that for the rest of your life. You know arm extended and getting stuck in door ways or people thinking you are a Hitler loving freak!
so yeah that was my weekend really. This mornign was interesting though. Was in my regular morning routine ( yep I am routine orientated break the routine and the day is screwed ) when it started pissing it down like god was very upset with the world and he was letting us know about it. For some unexplainable reason the cat went mental when this happened and completely ran a muck round mylittle flat for a good 15 minutes howling running skidding then repeat the process. he eventually collapsed in a heap on the floor completely out of breath. Needless to say was extremely entertaining ha !

right picture time. Thought would be nice to add a picture of Matt and myself at his brother's , Andy, wedding. So here it is. I really like it and plus I am shockingly brown which was very cool ha ! Has to be said believe matt was propping me up in the pic as I was so 3 sheets to the wind by that point he he

the other couple were Matts cousin and her finacee. Had a brilliant time with them and they were a absolute riot and made the evening even more enjoyable for me

right that's it for now to tired to type and believe I may have another nap of course ensuring it does not look obvious I am doing this plus try not to hit the key board with my head either !


Friday, August 19, 2005

Beware-----ramble about to commence all !

right here I go !
its Friday this is a good thing on so many many levels
you can drink ge3t drunk and not worry about consciences the next morning
you can stay up late for same reason as above ( except I have the sleep patterns of a 80 year old )
you can use it as a excuse to not cook and get a take away hmmmm
and it just makes you like the letter f more and more !

right last night ramble time :
last night I hit a all time low I mean intervention low seriously. so here is the tale: last night I was so hot and tired I had lost the will to live or even care about the fact that I had lost the will to live ! Also I was so tired I could not lift my fat ass off the couch to get one of the many bottles of wine I bought the other day let alone open it and pour, if I had actually managed to get up and open would have drank straight from the bottle. I felt aqs though I was letting the booze hound side down ( re blog entry : work a booze hounds safe haven ) I am a bad bad example of a alcoholic. Anyway by 10 pm I decided I needed to go to bed had to wanted get in and read my book ( trash of course pure shit love it ) but could not do it. Next thing you know the simple life interns shows up on telly and it happened. Went cross eyed and in a trance as I watched this pure and utter shite ! By the end of it I was so wound up with myself that I had allowed my semi intelligent brain absorb the shit I was wide eyed and bushy tailed awake grrrrr!! so I thought well I will iron and then go to bed it would all be good. so ironing away and then the next even worse thing happened!!! On came Brittney Spears and her new fly onto he wall docu drama reality show. Oh sweet lord went square eyed watched it as I drooled and began chewing on my own tongue!! I watched it all how bad is that !
so needless to say on top of having the worst nights sleep I was having nightmares about the half witted skinny bitches ! Not cool

right lighter and happier note! I finally have some pictures. You have to realize the ordeal I went through to get these. After 2 days of trying to figure out how to work the scanner and talking to the scanner and attempting to reason with it I managed to get them scanned. With help it has to be said and by a man at that who knew ?!?!? But then it got worse. I had to get the pictures to format right to get them on the blog or what ever it is you do to make them work that was another day and awhile lot of muttering and rocking to and fro. Finally my French work mate and friend Angeline otherwise known as frenchy did it for me. See the French are useful for something not a whole lot but something ! Ha
so here they are
I expect you to oh ahh cooo and point and laugh and of course comment. In fact demand you to comment !! :

my mum's back garden in Canada. In fact that is a lie as the garden is so big will not fit in a picture. yep said that to make you all jealous really is lovely !!

my little ( 6 foot 4 ish ) bro George and his amazing a lovely girlfriend Amanda . Loves young dream these two !! Enough to make you want to puke ! He he

my little sister an her best friend's , Emir, girlfriend Keiran . Don't they just look lovely ha ! :)

my amazing lovely and somewhat drunk mummy !! God love the women for putting up with me ! Ha

these next 2 are of me . Very drunk I believe by the time they were taken.

note: change of shirt due to glass number 5 of champagne being split down the front of me. yep it was my fault split it on my own accord ! Be nice please not the best pics but they will do

so there you go all some pics. Will put some more on eventually. Put the scanner and I have declared a truce for the time being and we are leaving one another alone for a small time period to cool down

have a great weekend all !!

p.s off to London so will tell of the adventures on Monday


Thursday, August 18, 2005

So so hot !

MY GOD IT IS HOT HERE !! Seriously it is a rare thing for it to actually be hot here but by god it is going for it today! Of course by tomoprrow it iwill be pissing it down and we will be back to grey skies depressed looking people and a general lack of a will to live ! Normal for the UK and Manchester in particular.
1 day till the weekend and do I need it. I have had the busiest possible week at work and it just seems to keep getting worse for some odd unknown unexplainable reason. Well not completely unexplainable has to be said the Dutch ( where head office is located by the way) are the very explainable reason for my shocking week.

right let me fill you in on something ok. The Dutch are not as you think what so ever. When I first knew I would be in direct contact with the Dutch I had a vision a very clear vision of them as follows:

sweater vest wearing, clog wearing , pot smoking , feet kicked up laid back sorta people. How very very wrong I was !!!

they are anal, arrogant, procedure follow,uptight and down right pain in the ass sort of people! And god do they love forms forms of any kind to be filled out they will create it for you !! They are currently the bane of my existence at this point in time. it has to be said though they probably are still smoking the weed as their decsion making and 0thought reasoning process is fatally flawed !!
so yeah there you go do not like the Dutch at present at all not one little tiny bit !

went to the gym as per usual last night. And boy did I cane it no idea where the engery came from but did 6 km on the cross trainer and loved it ( yep you got it loved it ! ) then 850 painful sit ups that I know are meant to help me but shit I wonder sometimes if it is all a lie !!
anyway went on sun bed in hopes of maintaining my lovely tan and to de white my legs ( almost a impossibly task ) anyway went on for my usual 10 minutes and sweet Jesus I was melting forget going to the gym was sweating the pounds of in the bed !! But all I kept saying is I will be brown it will happen ! When I came out asked one of the method's behind gym desk what was the score with the bed being so warm??? Were they trying to kill me ?????? Well turns out bulbs had been changed and I was the first and they forgot to warn me ! So basically I had the sun in close quarters to my milky fair skinned body !
just in case you are wondering I am surprisingly not a lobster I and not moving from one ass cheek to the other due to burns ha ha
right off and away now

Wednesday, August 17, 2005


This is going to be a rambling hmmm sort of blog entry today. Then again any different from any of my others ??? Likely not some will say!
right first things first ! My grammar and spelling. it has been brough to my attention by my anal little sister and my customer Phil ( he is very short and a apperant lady killer I have been safe up until now in regards to his lady killing powers praise the sweet lord above !! it has to be said he is a lovely man even though he is a ankle bitter and as cheeky as they possibly come !! i am sure one day he will manage to pull a sweet girl that any mother would be proud of. but god that time is light years away !! ha ha ) that my spelling is shocking and horrible ! Right guys I knew this known it for ages and ages. See it is not that I cannot spell it is the fact that I get so excited whilst typing something I loose all spelling ability and well type at warp speed and well miss a view letters here and a few spaces between words there. As Alex clearly stated in one of her comments I need to read back on my entries to see that it is hard to read. She has a poitn I hate to admit it she is right god damned I am a fucking awful speller and tpyer to boot ! Will make a conserted effort to help my readers in the reading of my blog from now on promise !

went to the gym yesterday and well fell of the cross trainer .... Again ! yep it has happened before and I am sure will happen again. it happens so frequently now that I do not even bother telling people as they would never believe one person can do this so many times. I just stop concentrating that and the guy in front of me on the treamill had a amazing as well ha ha ! I then attempted to use the blue ball for the first time hmm big mistake. I currently and doing 800 sit ups a night with he ab curl thing ( yes 800 !!!! No I am not lying seriously stop calling me a liar it is true and actually easier to do then one would think ) anyway blue ball. Yeah I have no sense of balance as some of you may know and that ball is all about balance ! My god lay down on it after my little training session feeling all proud and ready for the pain it would cause. Did to sit ups and well shot right of the front of the damned thing and skidded across the gym floor like a over weight white long haired penguin not very lady like nor very clever. The blue ball is now my enemy I hiss at the blue ball when ever we cross baths or I kick it which ever I feel is more appropriate at that moment in time. I missed home and away for that damned blue ball and now I have no idea if josie and jessies wedding is going to go ahead !!! Gutted ( think only heather willpossibly understand the attraction of home and away and event hen she may be to bright a girl to watch the shit )

oh my matt is a lost cause let me tell you ! Got my usual nice text last night and this is how the conversation over text went please do not laugh at my boy he is a work in progress ok :

matt: good evening babe. How r u this evening? I am now relaxing with my cup of tea in front of the telly xxxx
Louisa: even Hun had my dinner been to the gym and relaxing as well. Are your parents on holiday and gone yet? xxx
matt:parents went @ midday so had my 1st panic cook. it didn't seem cooked after 20 mins but seemed fine after 25. If not in work tomorrow you now know why ! ha xxxx
Louisa:my god Hun it cannot honestly be that hard to follow the instructions !!!! I am sure you will survive ha ha xx
matt:no instructions with shepherds piehaha. Other than 20 mins gas mark 6. Think should have been higher up in the over, oh well fish tomorrow xx
Louisa:my god you so need to make a serious effort in the learning to cook deparment sweetheart seriously !! ha ha xxx
matt: I have coped before and I am sure I will cope this time. Got my list of what to have more worried about watering the plants! xxx
Louisa:it is the fact that you need a list that's disturbing me Hun ha ha !! xxxxx
matt: just planning my dinners Hun xxx
Louisa: hmm yeah but was it your mother that planned the meals ???? ha ha xxx
matt: nope I did the list that's the truth honestly xxx
Louisa:you know you do not need to make a list of what to eat just eat whatever you want when you get home live on the edge babe ! He he xxx
matt: the list helps me Hun so I know what I have to do when I get in xx

it has to be said I gave up at this poitn as I knew my lovely matt felt secure into he knowledge tht he had the list and he was prepapred for what ever the evil kitchen threw at him. I however am worried that he may kill himself tonight when he eats that fish !! He does mean well but like most men all hope may be lost on him in regards to cooking. But as stated he is a work in progress for me :)
( sorry matt could not help but put this in as looked back and thought it was rather funny actually he he and I am sure I will receive backlash from you on this xx)
anyway enough from me I am very sure you are either all wetting yourself laughing at all of this or you are thinking stop begging you please stop talking Louisa ( I get this plea all the time as I never shut up at all ! )

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Another entry for the day ---- my workplace , the drunks safe haven

Yes I am bloggina second time today but by god it ahs had to be done. My work colleagues are raving boozers and I love it god dammit !!!!! Right will break it down for you :
number 1 booze hound:

she loves her red wine and although she swears not to drink during the week it never works. She is loosing weight for her big day ( like she bloody needs to the toothpick ) and so booze was evil and was to be cut out. Never ever works ! You know when our girl has had a night as she literally vibrates across the floor when coming in at 8 am due to the shakes pure class !

number 2 booze hound:
the seasoned pro as I like to know her. This girl can get it down and again loves her red wine but also her beer. My god she can easily drink a bottle then completely deny it without realizing she has actually done it. Has to be said that she almost never looks as though she is suffering the next morning which winds me up cause I so wish I could be like that !

number 3 booze hound:
she is little foreign and when she drinks she has no limits what so ever she fails to forget she can not drink the same amoutn of booze as a 5 foot 11 person as she is 4 foot nothing. She though does seem to be the good one in the office and behaves herself on weekdays which is admirable

me booze hound in the making:
my sister will be proud of me as I now regularly drink during the weekdays in fact the whole family will be proud. They always thought it odd that I did not drink as much as them. I blame this disregard for the school night rule on both booze hound number 1 and booze hound number 2 they are a bad bad evil influence upon myself

so there you god the booze hounds of my work . We are actually very efficient people in case you are worried !!!

The weekend - well not so bad and did not get drunk ....Shame

Sorry for no entry yesterday. I was forced into lotus notes training at work! Yes i know why why why ????!!!!! This is what I screamed for ages. I mean why would you go onto a system that will not let you archive will not let you hold more then 50 mb ( my outlook is currently at 600 mb so you can see why I am distressed !! ) it is crap bollocks total and utter shit ! So no I was not happy yesterday. I actually read my book through most of it. Felt like I was a kid again as I wedged my book ( trashy novel by the way of course it is me we are talking about here ! ) in my binder so no one else could see it. By the end I was so bored lost all reason to care and live I no longer disguised my page turning with a discreet cough just did not care ! Was so traumatized by the whole thing I booked out of work early and did my monthly shop at the hell known as asda. asda is ok but my asda is where all the dole single mothers and crack whores go shopping. The one where you so know that there is a camera following your every move and a swat team moves in when you remove a item from the shelf worth more the £3.50 !Soo yeah that was yesterday.Ohh yes went to the gym watched telly decided it was all to much for me and went to bed at 9 !!!Howw sad !!
right weekend. Yep Matt was up my way this weekend he came intohorrendouss down pours of rain and aManchesterr untied game and of course no cricket as the posh people would never play in a bit of rain !Soo yes it was a lovely weekend quiet and relaxing which was needed.Wee did get the most amazing takeawayfrontt eh local curry house and it happened to be the first takeawayIi have had in ages since my healthy eating and lose half your body weight crusade began that and the bottle of wineIi drank.Disturbingg as did not feel drunk at all hmm not good.Anywayy after themonstrouss curry and tellyIi informed mattIi was going to read my book in bed as wellIi just felt like it.Hee was content watching match of the day onBBCc 1 so left him in a happy football daze.Welll gollyIi fell asleep spark out.Poorr matt comes to bed trying desperately to find the light switch and statrts fumbling about muttering to himself.Ii wake up inabsolutee panic freak out scream blue murder all the while matt is yelling back to me it is me !!!!!Itt is only me !!!!!Poorr bastard ha haIi pass out.Hee gets in gets comfortableIi am in the land of fairies and other good things and he starts asking where is the cat where is he ?????Thiss mayIi inform you is a 36 year old manterrifiedd of a gender confused catIi mean shit terrified.WelllIi had to come out of the land of fairies and remove the cat and lock him up it has to be said cleo/leo was nothappy with me.

Sundayy was a day of cricketIi just slept seriously ate breakfast matt went got the papers ( yep yet more trash for me nothing but the best News of the World hmmmm love it so crap yet sosoo so good ) read paper passed out and that was it that was the sum total of my weekend

my little sister will be on my side of the pound in 2 weeks !!!YessIi have preparedIi have made sureIi have food supplies and water for her eventual world take overIi have ensuredIi have means in defending myself and a shit load of booze and fags so all will be ok.Anywayy yeahactuallyy can't wait for her to come.Itt has to be saidAlexx andIi tolerate one another at the best of times threaten mass bloody murder to one another most times.Nott thatIi donoto love her she is just a bitch and a damned good one at that !Pluss she is just to damned smart for me.SeeeIi was the one who well did not care the social butterflyAlexx well she was girl genius.Butt as was saying can't wait andIi am very proud of her as well.Afterr my recent trip homeIirealizedd thatIi actually liked my little sister and as much as she winds me up and pisses me off she is damned cool funny and well she would stick up for anyone if she had to till the end really.
anyway have alook at her blog as she has added some of her picsfrontt ephotot booth and it has to be said she looks like a mass murder ready to kill andmayhemm anyone in her path here is a taster

wow she would make anyone shit them selves with that death stare !! !

anyway gotta go