Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Better Chance of Pulling in a pursuing home ! ... And Various updates as well

Hello hello hellooooooo alll !!!!
Yesterday my friend Sarah ( she will kill me for telling this story but I did warn her I would blog it so tough lady !! ) went on the ultimate quest to find a man ...... She went..... Speed dating !!!!
Now I have done this speed dating business with a good reputable company one of the first to do full on speed dater events. I went to a very up market bar in city center Manchester and all participants were well lets say educated and not scum ok. So when Sarah said she was going to do this I said brilliant !!! Honestly promiseyou you will have a top time and never know may find something you like there. Except there was one issue :

She did not go one of the really well known speed dating firms and it was not set up in Manchester city center at a up market bar. In fact it was set up from what I can gather by a much smaller company then the one I used. It was held at a moderate bar in Didsbury which is a lovely area but the issue is that it is also invade by STUDENTS !!! How the hell do you find a de cent mature normal guy in studentville !! You cannot it is a impossible task never ever try it !
So this is how the conversation and text conversation went before she arrived at the big event :

ME: you read then ?? What you wearing ?
Sarah : Jeans black top , casual really
ME: cleavage ??? Always works men love tit's !
Sarah : NO!! Way to nervous right now ??
ME: stop being a big giant assed Jessie !! It will be fine
Sarah: give me a first question to ask something good
ME: Ok... Ask .... What is your favorite piece of fruit ?? And Ice breaker
Sarah: ( nervous slightly suicidal laughter) ok gotta go taxi here !!
ME: Good luck

After I hung up I was giggling at her obvious dread of the coming situation and being the nasty evil cow I can tend to be I thought I would stir it up a bit more by sending the following text. I also waited until I knew she would be either just arriving or already there before sending it to her :

text message : Remember do not mention the case of genital warts! Really puts them off for some reason unkown to me !! lol lol xx

I received no response to this ha ha !! Big surprise

After the even that obviously finished I received a text from Sarah and was ready for this message that would be all glowing and happy and that it was a success .... How wrong was I ???!!

Sarah txt message: That was shite I am never ever doing that again !!! I have more chance of pulling in a damn nusring home !!
Louisa txt response back : honestly could not have been that bad although.... Nursing home is not a bad idea they die quicker and you get all the money.

So my lovely amazing friend Sarah is now in the following frame of mind : I am going to be a spinster for the rest of my life I am obviously a mental reject and will never ever be able to get a man ....I suck.
Sarah you do not suck you will find a man stop being a big Jessie I will make it my mission for you to get this sorted out. Mainly because in 20 years time when I have a family I do not want you known as Louisa's crazy cat lady friend who is coming for the holidays because her life sucks and she lives in a bedsit smelling of wee !! Selfish I know but practical.

Update on the Taylor clan visit:
72 hours and they arrive. All seems to be going well mum seems reasonably level headed and not overly stressed. George apparently is excited like a small school boy ( well not small at over 6 foot 2 but you get the picture )
My sister however is at wrist slashing point with work and has pre warned me not to expect conversation from her when she lands as she will be a vegetable.
Me well me is excited and worked up at the same time. My main aim over this holiday season is to drink get drunk eat myself stupid and then pass out and sleep for hours on end.

The way every holiday should be spent as far as I am concerned !!!

next up date will include the goings on of the Christmas works do which is tomorrow night !


freegiftsforworld said...

nice blog ,well written ,keep blogging

Lee (aka Your Friendly Stalker) said...

Well, I can say she has more guts than me to even go along to one of those!

I'm horrendous at things like that, I'm more of an 'incidental' type of person, rather than 'you WILL meet someone in the next 5 minutes'.

One thing I've always believed though - when you go looking, you never find.

Actually, having just realised that I'm alone too, I probably shouldn't be giving out advice on this topic!

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