Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Driving ..... Drives me round the bend and back for another trip if need be

Right driving , I love it actually I think it is great almost relaxing at times. However recently I have become aware of the fact that I am ever increasingly becoming a road rage sort of girl! I mean the littlest things now set me off on a complete wobbler screaming swearing raging mess!
As you may know I come from the land of open roads and polite drivers otherwise known as Canadians and what a great bunch they all are. I mean they may drive massive vehicles and the vast majority may be inbred but at least they understand the general principles of driving a vehicle that ways at least a ton!
In the world of UK drivers well it is a whole different ball game! Firstly indicators !! Someone took the time to invent these little dinky dinky things that flash a lovely green and have the most unbelievable amazing use ...... Telling people where you are steering your death trap. They refuse to use them over here and if they do so happen to decide to humor drivers such as myself they use them literally as they are turning the corner tell me WHAT IS THE DAMNED POINT IN DOING THAT !!!!!??? IT IS TO LATE !!! I am already crawling up your ass because you are driving like a inbred dickhead! Seriously winds me up in case you were wondering
The other thing that gets my goat is braking ! My sweet lord these people brake because the sun is shining or because hmm they just bloody feel like it! Seriously you will be driving at a respectable speed possibly just over the limit one other car infront of you nothing in front of them and then BANG! He slams the brakes on so bleeding irritating stop it I beg you !!
you are probably wondering what brought this rant on well let me tell you. This morning I am happily ( or so I like to kid myself ) on my way to work. Now I like this time of driving as the red lights seem shorter there is less traffic and the people driving have to be at least semi intelligent as they are also ont heir way to work which in my naive mind means you must have at least 2 brains cells to rub together to get a job. Anyway driving along and I am approaching the one speed camera on my way and I slow down to the required limit of 30 miles a hour until the little white marker lines go away and I can speed back up to 40 miles a hour ( yes I know small children , drunks and rabbits are more likely to die at this speed !) when in my review mirror I see Jo blow the local scally in his beat up ford mondeo crawling up my ass. So I speed up a little thinking in my mind screw you buddy not getting by me it is a one way road. As I get further along the road I am slowed down by 2 buses and a big truck although I have slowed down dickhead as we will now refer to him by decides he is not and makes the decsion to join me in my car for tea he was that damned close !! Well I lost it went mental screamed blue murder at him waved him every rude gestrure I possibly knew and ensured all my windows were open so he could hear this abuse he so fully desvered!! Yet he continued to drive like a muppet!! Anyway I was nearing the end of my journey to work from hell when I came to a red light. Inbred man decides he is going to go into the turning lane beside me to jump me at the lights to get infront even though I was indicating to turn off the road as it was. This guy has his windows down and says whats your problem?! How could he evern ask me that !! I politely told him that his driving was my problem. He told me should have got out of the way ?!?!?! Oh my god lost it then and proceeded to tell him as the light was going green ( thank god as did not want to get battered ha ! ) that he was a inbred bastard that should never have been behind the wheel let alone have a license and that the sooner her realized that his shitty looking crap car was not a sports car the better !! Oh also told him he blatantly had a small dick ! Well he was dumbstruck and had no response back. I calmly drove away and made it to work feeling much better about myself
so there is my rant for the day ( sorry to subject you all to that but was very irritated and wound up by it all )

oh yeah fell out of bed in the middle of the night last night ! Ha nope I was not drunk stone cold sober !

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