The Lesbians upstairs

Ok I live in a what I would consider potentially a lovely old converted house. If you look past the grime and years of neglect and forgetfulness there are some lovely old features and bits. For istance the front step is slightly art deco with old tiling in lovely reds and blues in a mosaic pattern. It has been battered and bruised over the years and simply forgotten for what it is. When you go in the front communal hall and look up there is amazing old cornicing the full length of the hall but it is dusty and badly looked after. Generally though I do love where I live and saw the potential of the place when I moved in. What I did not realize was that the walls were paper thing from the cellar right up to the 3rd floor. You can hear everything. And now here is the bit you have all been waiting for ( mainly you dirty old men who see the word lesbian and stand to attention !! ) the lesbians upstairs.

A couple have moved in above me.the are both students extremely polite really lovely girls. At first I did not realize they were a couple. I have to admit thatI had the common misconception that in a lesbian relationship one women is normally more ' butch' looking or to be more polite not as femmine as the other. These girls are both tiny petite gorgeous girls they really are and that is why I did not think they were a couple. ( slpa on the wrist for being narrow minded )

When I first met them I did them the courtesy of making them aware discreetly that the walls were by no means sound proof and anything and everything can be heard here. I said that if I was ever to loud or making to much noisy just let me know would not take offence.

They at first took this subtle warning seriously and were very quiet. 2 weeks ago that all changed. I have come to the conclusion that lesbians have the most active sex life I have ever heard !!!! Seriously at one point it was going on 2 times a night 3 nights in a row. I can hear everything ..... EVERYTHING !!! Even my cat looks up at the ceiling and you can see him thinking in his cat male brain' lucky bitches !!' Honestly I am in awe of thses 2 girls stamina it is unreal.
Then last weekend it took another turn. The had a fight. And by fight I mean full bblown things being thrown screaming yelling name calling ' you do not appreciate me ' fight!! I have to say lesbian couples are no different then straight or probably gay couples when they fight. It was a blazing amazing argument. This made me think ( as I sat on my couch on a Saturday night eating popcorn and watching casuatly ... yep I am a single sad loser I have confirmed it with that statement) that there would be no sex for a bit as they were obviously very angry .... I was wrong. The opposite happened they had make up sex all night Saturday ... Took a break all morning Sunday ..... Took a break then all night Sunday .

two nights ago I had enough I was awake till 2 am listening to the acrobatic accomplishments they were attempting at the time. So yesterday morning I left a note ( not signed so they did not know was me ) saying could you possibly please keep the noise down after 11 pm ... Reasonable request I think ??? Came home last night with fingers crossed. WEll there was a outcome I never expected. THEY LEFT !!!!! Now I am not sure if they have left permently or what as was only spying through my peep hole. They had a number of bags and even more importantly they took there cat.

So yes I have driven the lesbians out of the building and I am worried about what other powers I may possess !!!!

* NOTE

Side Note * apologies for the bad language in below post I was angry !! In fact still am bloody angry !!
So yeah apologies to all :-)

Stop Making fun of My country and take a good Hard look at Your Own you Bastards !!!

As you probably can tell my the header I am a pissed off Canadian!! Seriously I am a raging bundle of anger and general pissed offense !!

Since I have moved to the UK I have constantly heard the same lines from Britons things like ' you colonials were made by the mighty British' and ' You immigrants come over here and steal our jobs and use our social system'

Right lets set the record straight !!! A. ' us colonials' as they like to say were created by the British when they came over the Canada however many years ago. And then they fucked off after a little battle with the the frog bastard French. If they created use and we were so important to them then they should have stayed.... But the they didn't so fuck off and think before eyou say stupid things.
B. I AM NOT A IMMIGRANT!!!! You narrow mi0nded jerks !!! I have been a British citizen since the day I was born. I have every right to be here. And in no way was I taking anyone's job !! The unemployment rate in the UK is not because immigrants take loads of jobs when they come here. It is high because they are lazy bastards !! Because they keep electing a government that will socially assit them if they broke a damn nail. So shut your mouth and stop moaning !!

I am so sick of the narrow minded and frankly extreme racistness of this country. Lets get something straight the British was this great empire that went and raided loads of countries created loads of problems fucked off back to their tiny little island and now wonder why there are loads of depends hanging off them 100 years later. You knob heads !! You created those depends so now deal with it.
You make fun of where I am from but yet we are one of the richest countries n the world. The province I am from ( Alberta named after one of your poxy royals ) has no debt !!!!!! They are making so much money on oil right now they are sending out $400 cheques to every Albertan because they made just to much damned money !!! People need to know that outside of the middle east Alberta ( IN CANADA PEOPLE ) is the biggest oil producer in the world !!!!! Not sure myself what the British are known for other then over charging for their people for gas food houses cars basically everything!

So the point behind my rant is this. Take a good hard look at your own war mongering over priced shitty island before you start making funny of other peoples places of origin. It is narrow minded rude and just pig ignorant to say things about others that you know nothing of!!!!
Also do not get me wrong generally I love living in Britain it has offered me a huge amount of opportunities and experience.

Ramble done. BYE !

Life and The Move oh yeah and smoking too

Life I think works out in funny and mysterious ways not sometimes but all the time !

I never would have thought 12 months ago that I would be saying I am going home. I was thinking about it ( deeply) last night ( I am thinking about anything but fags right now to attempt to kick the dirty habit ... Brain hurts from all the thinking ) anyway deep though about it last night. I suddenly realized that my 20's has been full of seriously life changing things. I left Canada at the beginning of my 20's and at the end of it heading back. Pretty big deal really

But then I start thinking about the practicalities of it all. I cannot stop looking round my flat and thinking ' How the hell am I going to sell all my shit ?!?' Honestly for someone who came over to the UK with 2 suitcases all most 5 years ago , I have amassed a stupid silly amount of shit !! It is really really bad ! So I am now thinking will car boot sale the lot of it or put it all up on Ebay as a job lot highest bid gets the lot. I am a pack rat and this will pain me to do as I love some of my things !!

It got so bad last night that whilst laying in bed I started convincing myself that I could ship my lovely bed over to Canada with me ( no I cannot do this due to fact that it is wrought iron and well would cost me a small nations gross debt ) but yeah by the time I had fallen asleep I had decided I could do this. By the time I woke up this morning slapped on another nicotine patch ( little plastic pockets of heaven ) I came to my senses and realized this was not a possibility. I am already mourning the loss of my bed 18 months in bloody advance !!!!! Bad very very bad !

Otherwise though all is on track for the giant move back home. Sarah ( best mate ) is just as excited and cannot wait to get there either. She got a Canadian tourist video on the Rockies. She text me she was all excited to watch this on Sunday night. I came into work on Monday to a email from her saying : ' lasted 10 minutes into the video and gave up as all the Japanese tourists in it were winding her up ' I replied ' welcome to Canada they are everywhere , get used to it honey !' but otherwise all is full steam a head and lookin good guys !

Smoking : Damn this is hard but determined to do it !! I am still on the patch as stated above. I also look like a child that relies on dummies to keep them happy when I start sucking on the little white inhaler stick thing they gave me as a fake fag. If I could fall asleep with that thing in my mouth sucking away like a newborn I would.

Also as a small side note now : Thank you to the people that read my blog and have left various messages wishing me luck on the smoking and the moving it is really really nice to hear it from you all like Urban Gypsy who has a funny and basically good read website http://theurbangypsy.blogspot.com/ if you get a chance have a read worth it. Plus Joke ( said like yolk then a ' A ' on the end ) found her via dooce and she has left great messages on there as well http://www.forjoke.com/. There are loads others as well. But the powers of work will see what I have spent the last 20 minutes not working but blogging and well lets be honest I am paid to sell cable not blog. Also if I had a inch of computer or web page knowledge in my brain I would blog roll but after a million attempts to set this up and one broken mouse I have decided to give up for my sanity !!!
So yes thank you all very sweet of you ;-)

I QUIT !

Yep have taken the leap, have done the much needed dirty deed ..... I officially have quit smoking today.

I have been to my GP and been given all sorts of things. Currently I have a patch on my arm and wow this shit is like happy juice.... Heaven in a little rubber patch !! Honestly it has made me all light headed and I have had no fag cravings all morning. I have gone from smoking 24 fags a day to having 2 today !!!! How amazing. And when I had the last one I didn't even finish the thing as just was no interested at all.

So proud of myself!!.

Update on the move back to the mother land:
Sarah has done one of those ' will we let you into Canada or are you a lay about non working social sucker ?' She did 2 tests one as if she had a job to go to and she was a god as far as the Canadian goverment was concerned on a big score of 84 and then she was truthful and did one as if she did not have a job to go to but she still managed to scrape through. So things are looking up now.

I am even more excited at the prospect of going home then I ever was. I keep looking round my flat thinking oh my good god I have to sell most of this how in the world will I ?? See I am a pack rat or more like a person that cannot let things go.

I have also tried to sit down and have a serious discussion with the cat , Cleo, about his impending journey ina year and half but for some reason he keeps chasing his own tail and does not seem interested in what I have to say ..... God knows why !

So there you go. I am going to go back to obsessing about my lack of cigarette in my hand and slap on another rubber circle bit of heaven ( the patch )
bye all :-) x

Home is Calling Me

Well I have made a major decision. I am going home. It is time to return to the great white north once and for all.

Now I am not going home immediately but between the next 18 months and 2 years. There were a huge amount of factors that brought this decision to a head as they say.

The biggest one being is that I miss home. Enough is enough and it is time to return. I have done what I came here to do and that was to grow up gain some independence and be adult as they say. I think I gained that and have grown up drastically.

I miss my family and the comfort of having them about. Think being away for the 5 years has made me realise how much I need to appreciate them. Even though George is a arrogant shit and a giant pain in the ass he is alright for a little brother.
And Mum is someone I miss most to be honest ( do not let that go to your head mum!!! ) but I do get on so so much better with her now and that makes a big difference.

The decision actually though came to finalization because of Sarah my best mate. She sent me a text a few weeks ago very randomly asking how to go about working in Canada. Turns out she wants to go over. After many discussions by phone email and text it became a very real thing.
There would be nothing better then Sarah coming over with me. Canada is her type of place, she would blend in there and settle amazingly well. So we have both made the decision to start laying plans out to go home for me and a new place for her.

IT ALL ROCKS !!!!!!!!! CANNOT WAIT !!!

I am going to also bring the cat with me as well. This should be very interesting as considering this cat has not seen much of the outside world dragging him halfway across the world should really freak him out. But to be truthful I could not leave him behind. He has been a constant companion for me for the last 2 years. As much as he drives me round the bend and for all my moaning I do actually love him to bits and he is such a amazing feline.

So there you go homeward bound for me all and here is what I am going back to :

view of Edmonton City Center Sky Line

Jasper ..... Heaven to a skier ... I cannot wait to be able to go skiing again asap !!

City center , town hall and Winston Churchill Square

And finally most importantly home the place I love and grew up !!!

I am a Bad Blogger I know Ok !!

Yes before you comment or say anything I know I am a bad bad blogger for not posting much in the last few days ... But I am back. Have been properly told off by my sister who left a comment of ' update your blog you wanker !!!' sisterly love is a great thing. There is a mutual respect between us. She calls me a wanker I call her a world dominating Devil women... It works well.

Anyway what have I been up to ... Not much really. I did go to a concert with my best friend Sarah. We went to Jack Johnson and LOVED IT !!!!! It was by far the best concert I have ever been to and so did not want it to end. I recommend to anyone out there if Jack comes to your town spend the money and go and enjoy !!! On top of being a amazing artist he is also the hottest man on the face of the earth !!!! He is what I would want to marry in a instant !! Stunning and amazing and so so so damn hot !!!!!

Other then that it has been a uneventful couple of days really. I did however get to post a comment about my mother on DOOCE website which is cool. Considering Dooce never opens her comments I was not letting the opportunity slip past me to do that. She had posted about mothers that stays at home and the choice. I went on a rant !! I told the world how my Mum worked as did my Dad and it was in no way detrimental to me and if anything it helped me! So yeah think I was like comment 950 out of roughly 2000 ! ha

I am still trying to find a flat mate to move into a new place with ( any takers ?!?!?! Begging now !! ) but have yet to find someone. All I do know is desperately need to move to save same money as I am poor !!! I have entered my name on a load of websites so hopefully something will come of that never know.

Oh yeah and for this first time in my smoking life I am now considering quitting for good. I have made a appointment at the doctors and going to give this a go .. Wish me luck but do not expect miracles ... After 14 year ( yes 14 years ) of smoking I think there may be more then one attempt to kick the cancer sticks. Will let you know how I am doing

Anyway enough rambling speak to you all soon promise to have a better more interesting post next time.

George Bush: The spongy Yellow WMD

In our office we have a couple of those sponge stress ballthings. Ours are all different shapes and sizes such as a cable drum and a star trooper as well from star wars. But by far the weirdest one is a sponge yellow figure of George Bush ! Odd I know so very strange !!!! This is him:

Now I realize you are now looking at this yellow blob and thinkg ' looks nothing like George W' but it is. See I tried to poke his eyes out with a pencil and it did not work. Then I tried to rip his head off his shoulders and it would not come off. So we just decided to color on his face and now we think he looks like Fidel Castro.

Seriously he is like a cockroach nuclear war would not kill this thing ( believe me as above we have tried )

Anyway most people squeeze or play with these things to relieve stress . Do they do that in my office ........

hell no !!!! We chuck them at each other as hard as humanly possible then roll around on the floor in fits of laughter at the other persons pain.

I did this today and loved it !! Normally I could not hit the broadside of a barn door ... Today was different. Today I went right up to the person ( he fully desvered this for what he had said ) and hurled it at him at high speed. I was aiming for the back of his head but some how I managed to hit him square in the ear. Honestly was the funniest thing I had seen all day. It was pure stress relief !!!!

So I recommend to anyone rather then squeezing these stupid things .. Chuck em !! Chuck em hard and fast it is so much fun and the stress just disappears instantly !!!

So hence George being the WMD of the office.

( George is slightly melted now on the back of his head due to be left on the radiator over night )

There is my tip for the day everyone . Chuck a George around and the day will right its self instantly for you all :-)

Things to thank my Parents for ( all said sarcastically)

I have many things to thank my parents for. Before I continue this post I do have to make it clear that there are many many good things I am grateful for but damn the following I blame all on them:

1 . Thanks is given to them for the fact that I am a routine based person. You may be thinking , nothing wrong with a bit of routine. Well there is!!! I do the exact same thing every single morning : alarm goes off shut alarm off ( never have I hit snooze in my life ) feed the cat watch the news have a shower blow dry hair put makeup on straighten hair leave house at exactly 6:52 am . This happens almost every moring. On the odd occasion the routine is broken or disturbed the whole day is then completely screwed !! I blame this onto he military style up bringing !! There were no free spirit hippy like people in my family there was logic and organization and because of this I am routine based. All their fault.

2. My inability to be tidy!! Seriously I blame this on my lovely parents completely as well!! When I was a kid every Saturday was room inspection day( yes I know you are all laughing now but my sister Alex will vouch for this ritual) we used to stand by our beds and wait for it to be inspected for the week. I once prayed to god that if he made Dad pass my room as spotless that I would play golf with him every day when I got up to heaven ( yes I thought god played golf as a child and my logic behind this was I was so bad at golf god would love me as he would always win ) Dad did not pass me that day . My faith in God faltered at the age of 10. When I moved out it was like the chains of tidiness had been broken and all ability to be tidy disappeared. Why do I blame them for this ?? Because I believe if they had been less rigid witht he clean thing I would not have this natural aversion to it all. Every Sunday I clean my flat kitchen bathroom the works and it looks great .... By Tuesday it looks like 20 wild children have lived there. I am useless at it

3. I blame them for my constant worrying about money. I think this may be a gentitic thing as it seems to be a Taylor family trait. Honestly when I get paid I do not jump for joy I go into panic mode and start thinking about how I could be living on the streets by the end of the month . In actual fact I manage to make it through every single month and never slept on the streets yet. My mum is a natural worrier with money and I believe she has passed this on to me


And finally I blame my parents for this :

Who does this to their child !!!!!!!! My parents did !!! Honestly I was destined to be screwed for life relationship wise when they made me wear that T-shirt saying ' future fox' it was like tempting fate. And then to top it off record it in photo form for all to see in the future !!! Plus it cannot be a good sign when your Dad's mustache actually covers half his face.

So I blame them for this damn picture !!!! Why !!!!????

Delay and a thought

Very short post for you all ( sorry ) first thing I lied no pic today as it was to big and my I.T wizard here at work is taking it home with him to make it small to post it fingers crossed tomorrow all ...Believe me worth the wait !!


Second thought ... Brace yourselves everyone : I HATE VALENTINES DAY HATE IT HATE IT HATE IT HATE IT HATE IT HATE IT HATE IT HATE IT HATE IT


...... DESPISE IT
what a stupid stupid day. ( of course if was not single I would more then likely be singing a different tune ha ha )

till tomorrow

Again far to lazy to think of a good title for this post sorry

Well another week begins. This is a slightly different week due to the fact that it is Valentines day tomorrow. Fingers crossed we do not get any of the sickly sweet stuff going on here in the office. You know flowers delivered chocolates blah blah blah . This is of course spoken as any single person speaks. Valentine's day is like the anti christ to singles through out the world.
We all say things like its not even a real holiday sort of day or the businesses of the world have created it. You know the things we single people say all play down to the fact that yeah were single.
It is a weird strange and as far as I am concerned pointless and stupid day ! There said my single persons piece on Valentines day.

Right next thing : I LOVE THE WINTER OLYMPICS !! Seriously I do. I have spent the entire weekend watching a huge amount of winter sports. I have watched from Downhill skiing to Nordic cross country and loved every second of it . Yes I know sad pathetic really boring but it makes me happy so shut up ok ?! But the ultimate highlight was Jennifer heil won gold medal for Canada in the freestyle moguls. She was amazing fantastic and unbelievable to watch and desvered that metal like nobody's business !! What makes it better is she is from my neck of the woods ( Spruce grove Alberta) my brother knows her and once had a major crush on her I believe I believe I have met her once but cannot be sure. But she was great and a big up to her for doing it at only 22 years old ! http://www.cbc.ca/Olympics/sports/freestyleskiing/

Also this weekend I went to a friend of mines , Pete and his wife Wendy, grand opening of their new venture Bar Bibo in Northerden. I could see this being deadly for me as I loved the place and was so relaxed there. So yeah deadly as can see myself being there very often at this rate !!!

Right that's it. Heads up for tomorrow : baby pic of me should make you laugh or scream with fear ... You will see why

Girls and Boys

Girls and boys are funny old creatures it has to be said. They are so freakishly similar but polar opposites at the same time. I would say this bothers me and confuses me as well.

I have never understood the great divide between the two sexes or how it came about. Why is it that men react to a situation one way and women a complete opposite way
Example:
Pipe bursts in kitchen
Mans Reaction: hmmm pipes burst well I will have another can of beer and then go over pretend to be a plumber and attempt to fix it myself. All the while the kitchen is flooding. There is no reaction to the fact that the floor is flooding there is no sense of panic ( this is probably due to the fact that they have just finished the 5th can of beer and it is only 1:00 in the afternoon) so the reactions of a male in this situation are two : firstly they have the ' ego' the I can fix this and I will do it in my own time even if my women is screaming at me in the background. Secondly they just do not care !!!! Ever !!!

women's Reaction : Firstly we run around screaming to begin with ( yes I know not all women do this physically but all women do this mentally in there brain) then we do the appropriate thing and call a professional !!! A actual plumber boys, someone who knows how to fix the problem. We turn the water off at the main and whilst waiting for the plumber we clean up the mess. We do this all while you sit oblivious to everything watching the football and cracking your 6th can of beer open saying ' need any help hun ?' we scream no ( the scream should have been your warning that something terrible is happening and your dull male instincts should kick in to help the female ....They don't ) Plumber arrives pipe fixed kitchen clean and the man works his way to the 7th can. There is one reaction from a women in this situation : LOGIC !! We logically clean up logically call the plumber and most logically do not ask for assitance from the drunk male on the couch !!!

So you see this confuses me. We are both the same make up we are both logical thinking beings and we both have brains and some intelligence ( lots or little ) yet we do things so differently!! Yes it would be a boring world if everyone reacted the same way to every situation. But to the major incidents in our lives it would be so much easier if we could flip a switch at the point of mayhem and react identically. I think if we could do that there would be less spousal murder less divorce and generally less aggravation in the world
Am I being naive ... yep most definitely and have I lived by myself for to long to not realize how a male female daily relationship works ... Probably. But I stand by what I say life would just be easier if men and women were more similar. If we reacted to things the same way

( yes I know this is a random if not somewhat strange post ... Deal with it ok ? :-)

Translations

Last night someone laughed at something I said and the thing I said was not very British what so ever. In fact it got me thinking after the conversation there are a lot of things I say that are not very British at all. Here are a few some will have translations :

Walking like a drunk hooker on skates = can be taken in so many ways such as nope I cannot skate . Yes it is true I have no Co-ordination what so ever

Ass Monkey = just a damned good insult in my books kinda like wanker in a strange way

butt head = just a dick head basically

hoser = a complete loser ' used in a sentence like the following ' don't be such a hoser man'

deke out = from hockey terminology meaning just nipping out be back soon basically the jock hockey players started it and it has caught on

Think that hoser is one of my favorites good solid insult

There are so so many more that evade me right now if you think of any though let me know.
right

' deke out ' kinda sorta you know I will be back eventually !!

Patience

Patience ...... What a stupid bloody word !!!
honestly there is logic behind what I say here so hear me out ok


When someone says to you ' Just be patient' and you are already in a inflamed state of mind what is the first thought that pops into your head ? My first thought ( and I am sure it is not just mine ) is : ' Just be patient ....I will just be patient you freak !!!! I have no desire to be bloody patient stop saying that to me !!!!!!!' Seriously it makes the situation worse.
Whether it is at work and you are trying to sort out a particularly pain in the ass problem or at home and trying to assemble Ikea book selfs patience does not ever work ! All you get as a out come of all this patience is a passive aggressive person on the brink of a complete melt down that will likely be directed at you.


I get this on a daily basises in my line of work. I have to deal with the Dutch every day. Let me tell you any pre conceived notions you may have had about them lotbeing eternally high peace lovin kicked back sort of people is completely and utterly wrong!! To get one thing actioned by these people does not take patience it involves threatening them with their lives and the lives of their families. It involves calling them every 5 minutes for 8 hours and after those 8 hors of having a phone glued to your ear you still have nothing. Patience does not exist in this world of work

Then there is patience in personal life . If a mother says to a daughter ' patience dear the right man will come along in his own time' come of it !!!! it does not work that way at all mothers !!! You should know this for gods sakes. I know that it does not exist. I am 27 and I will happily say that yes I would like the right one to finally show his damn face ask me to marry him and get it bloody over with Patience is not a virtue and most defiantly not one of my virtues.


When I drive I am impatient, when talk I am inpatient, when I queue up am damned impatient etc


So there is your warning all I have no patience I never desire to have this so called quality as I do not believe it to be one. I believe that it only hinders you in life turns you into a emotional mush ball and makes you have no balls. Life is about grabbing it being impatient and yep having balls to be impatient. Buck the trends people be what they out there consider abnormal .....BE IMPATIENT !!!!

ALL I HAVE TO SAY IS .......

God damn I need a drink !!!!
take that statment however you wish !!
drink....large big drink !!!!

Single

You know being single is one of those funny things that some people react badly to and some thrive on. I think I am one of the ones that is in the middle of all that.

I like being single for the fact that you do lead your own life you do not have to worry about consequences and the effects of your decisions and behavior.


On the flip side being single has the ability to make you feel eternally lonely. Like you will never find that other person and no matter what you do to assist the process it never freakin works !!!

Last night I was watching this show called ' The real Sex and The City' Basically it is set in New York and it follows round a load of different women on the dating scene of New York. Now this show was either created to make women across the world feel like shit and useless or it was created for you to point and laugh at and say ' sad cow' at the same time!

Honestly these women on this show are the lowest of the low on the moral's playing field !! They boast about dating 6 men at once. They complain how they get confused by who they are meant to be going on a date with ( no wonder !!!) and to top it all off the feel horrible about the fact that they cannot find a meaningful relationship. COME ON !! You stupid American cows !! You cannot find a meaningful relationship because you are dating six guys at once, you are not satisfied with just one ( greedy or what ), you do not actually have any desire to settle down and you probably could not define let alone spell meaningful !!!
Seriously I went to bed last night muttering stupid bitches to myself ( the cat was a bit disturbed by this outburst)

I was looking at my sisters blog today and strangely enough she was talking about a similar subject. Basically rating which nationality would be best to date . I have to share with you her description of a British man priceless and pretty much bang on : British - more mamma's boys. Not as bad as the Italians, but at least the Italians know to take you out for a nice dinner on a date and don't count going Dutch at the pub as 'a good night out.' how bang on is that ?!?!?!?!? I was so so impressed with that. If you ant to see the rest have a look http://alexandrataylor.blogspot.com/
Right random daily rant is now finished :)

Getting Older and Wiser

You know as time goes by you begin to realize that you have grown up. That you are no longer the precocious cjild, teenager or young adult you once were. You are a fully fledged adult. When you were that snot nosed attitude driven kid you used to think' never be like those adults !!! '

guess what .... Everyone becomes once of those adults. It is the law of nature and all things possible.

Today was having a conversation with Emma ( friend/workmate) and at the end of it decided I may very well be a 80 year old trapped in a 27 year olds body !!! We were talking about how now rather then go out on a Saturday night getting blind drunk and stumbling in at 3 ish in the morning we would love to get in a bath and soak the night away. I now realized I would much rather prefer going out on a Saturday afternoon getting merry in a beer garden and then going home 7 ish have a good meal and pass out, safe in the knowledge that I WILL NOT HAVE A HANGOVER!!

Please do not get me wrong I love a great night out but what I do not like anymore is every night out. It loses the novelty and the enjoyment. We also decided that this was something for some unknown reason we thought or at least speaked about as a bad thing ?! Then we thought its not !!! It is a natural progression of growing older and yes wiser.

I think of the practical things now whilst doing the illogical things I know how to do best!!!
Do I miss my precocious and attitude driven youth ???? Maybe just a tiny little bit. But I do love the fact that I can think about things in a well mannered process for example :

Get drunk in the afternoon make sure you are in bed by 7 though and drink water = no hangover!! No dehydration to the point of not actually being able to blink and generally feeling human

This to me is getting older and a little wiser

P.S before you ask no I do not have a drink problem !!!

The weekend Breakdown

Morning all :) Happy new week to you all ( yeah really I am not all that happy it is Monday but someone has to pretend don't they ? )

So yeah my weekend ..... oh the excitement..... yeah not really that exciting.
Sometimes I wish I could come on here on a Monday morning and write about this fantastic memorable weekend I just went through. Tell witty stories, Burble on about the itellectual things I have done and the exciting people I met .... Never going to happen at this rate. Have the social life of a snail... Mostly my own doing to be fair !

So yeah Saturday I had a mission to go and do the boxing training that my gym was holding and well I never. There were 2 reasons for this first one being as follows. I recently told someone I just met that this was my plan for Saturday morning along with going out on Saturday evening. The text I go back read as follows:
Un-named person: Well least I know you can handle yourself in the bar then if there is any trouble
( kinda read like that can't remember exact words but you get the meaning of it )

This freaked me out on so so so many levels !!! I have come to the conclusion that I would rather others would not know me as the ass beating girl who can handle herself ( not very femine really is it ?? )
Second reason is that well ... I was to damn lazy for that excitement.
I did go to the gym and did do my work out though for a hour and a freakin half !!!! 6 miles later and 400 sit ups later ( this tummy will tighten up if it is the last damn thing I do ) My legs were like rubber when I got in the are. Sure sign you have done a good work out : You have troubles shifting your car !!
Right now the evening, my lovely best mate Sarah had me round for a lovely ( healthy dinner) was nice to just spend time with her tell her all that has been going on in recent days and just well have a great time. We went out for a drink in West Didsbury and were surrounded by pretentious assholes for the majority of the night. You know the kind, 30 years old have a bit of money behind them and think they are something special . When in actuality their mother is hooked on dope there sister has just been knocked up for the second time ... She is only 17 and you grew up in the shittiest area known to man. God they drove us mad !!

Sunday was boredom at its worst. Gym - home - couch - sleep - wakeup - back to sleep and so on and so forth . You can see Sunday was highly productive. Saying that I baked for some unknown reason. " apple pies , 1 lot of brownies and a Banana bread later I reckoned the manic baking had to stop - baking - stop - back on the couch - asleep

Oh the excitement !

Life and a Rant as well

You know life is a funny thing. By funny I mean the way it works out and just ' ticks over'. The way sometimes it all goes brilliantly well for you on one day and by the next you want to find either the fast bullet train to jump infront of or the tallest building to leap off to just end it all !!

Life has been a veritable thing of ups and downs for me over the last little while. You know this from previous post and other things as well I have not mentioned and won't just now but promise to a little later. I would not say I have been depressed but I would say that I have been confused by what direction I want my life to go in. And now I am slowly starting to figure it out. I have made some big changes recently and little ones and wow holy shit do those change make a difference on how you look and react to things.
I still do want to go home to Canada eventually but have decided I need to get a clear plan in my head to do this and figure it out logically ( yes all you who know me know I am not logical and anything I tend to do has not plan nor make any sense to be fair)
Also I have decided that I defiantly need to move sooner then later. Number of reasons for this. The biggest damn one being this : MY DAMN BOILER KEEPS BREAKING and if any one person leaves a comment reading ' your Canadian you should be used to it' I will hunt you down and probably stab you in the eyes and stick you in a freezer to see how I have been feeling in my ice box for the last week ( fair play probably would not stab you in the eyes just not nice that ) Seriously I got home from circuit training on Tuesday and the minute I walked in my flat my leg muscles seized up and screamed up to my brain ' WHY WHY WHY ?!?! I called the emergency man who never turned up. Even the cat was cold he tried to drag off my hot water bottle.
And then last night the exact same thing happened !!!! Came in from the gym, got hit by a ice block of cold air and promptly dropped to the ground to stop my legs from twitching to death ( was not quick enough and was hobbled for the rest of the night)
The boiler alone is enough to drive someone out but there are other things as well. I need to have some sort of daily human interaction. The cat , Cleo/leo , can only offer so much bloody entertainment, which mainly consists of me putting tape on the end of his tail and watching him run round to get it ( trust me I am not being cruel he loves it and looks for the tape roll when I am on the couch ok ! ) But also financially damn it is costing way to much to rent living by yourself !!!!

Right life changing rant over now everyone ....Sorry had to be done


Now for the daily rants: Today it is a thank you day so here we go :
Thanks to the lady in the silver golf who this morning thought it would be funny to ride up my ass as we were driving into work at 7 in the morning ... Honestly either you learn how to drive or next time we stop at a light I am going to take your keys away !! No one should be that eager to get to work in the morning !!
Thanks to the boiler man who said ' sorry Louisa I did not get your message the other night about your broken boiler' yeah right fool !!! I know you did because I got a return receipt from the text message I sent you and when I called the first time it rang second time you turned your phone off....You try freezing your ass off and then realizing it is actually warm outside then in your damn flat ... Bastard !
Thanks to the guy at Tescos's who did not mention the fact that my fly was undone even though the only reason I realized it was undone was due to the fact that you were looking at it !! ... And you expect me to continue to shop at your shitty shop ... Yeah right ( note : yes this is the second time this has happened to me at this Tescos and yes written about the first time previously)
Thanks to the builders next door for the early wake up call on Saturday ... For Christ sakes guys ever thought that some people do have social lives on Friday nights and god damn have a thumping hangover on Saturday mornings and do not need to listen to you lot banging away !!! Cheers !!!

right I am done now anger let out now feel better and the purple shade to my features is gone now.
speak to you later comment away if you wish !

NEW !!! Weekly recommendations

I have recently decided to do something new on my blog. Now I accept the fact that I more then Likely have minimal readership due to lack of comments. But I do not give a fuck so there I am doing this and this is my new thing:
Each week I am going to recommend things not entirely sure what as of yet and I think it will be different things each week from books to food to things to do. Hopefully just maybe or by the faintest chance someone will find it good or useful or they will find it pants and never come back ha ha ! So here we go people :

THIS WEEKS RECOMMENDATIONS
Firstly I am currently addicted to my new Jack Johnson CD

I do realize he has been around for some time now however I only got into him recently when I heard track 11 off this album ' Breakdown' I knew I would like it straight away.

It is the perfect album for sitting back and relaxin to. Good for in the car when you have some 90 year old doing 20 miles an hour in front of you for no apparent reason other then they should not be behind the damn wheel, it relaxes you!

So fully recommend you buy it listen to it and then pass it on to a friend really good.

Books hmmmm god do I love my books I cannot sleep at night even if I have been on the drink without attempting to read something. There are so so many books I want to mention but will start with my all time favorite series. My mum introduced me to this years ago and have been hooked ever since. Reading some of the books 2 times over. It is called the outlander series and very hard to describe effectively to you but will make it brief. There are 5 books in the series increasing in size with each one. Do not kid yourself if you think you can read these in a week because you cannot ok.

Basically it goes like this: set in Scotland women goes near weird cirdle of stones and then BANG she is back in time. She goes back to I think 1600's or so right smack into the middle of the jacobite wars between the English and Scottish. Forced to marry Scot and goers from there she is a doctor which makes it more intereresting. Honestly do not judge by my description look it up. Really is gripping and keeps you sucked in from beginning until end. Promise you.

Food: Hmm how I love food and god how I love cooking it as well. Bit hard to do when you live by yourself. You tend to make mass amounts of things and then you are eating the same damned thing day in and day out just because you made the damn stuff. I do not have anything specific to recommend but I do have this to say.

BAKE !!!! Not enough people bake anymore it is a dying art form as far as I am concerned. People seem scared of it for no reason at all. So dammit people bake something this weekend !!!

exercise... Some of you may know least friends and family will, that since February last year I went on a big lose weight get fit campaign and well almost a year later here are the results: I have lost just under 5 stone ( 67 pounds for non English people ) I have gone down 4-5 dress sizes and well I have to say damn I am looking better then ever did. I go to the gym 5 - 6 times a week now and actually love it. Now my recommendation is this : circuit training !!! I just started it for the first time 2 weeks ago and had my second session last night. PAIN !!! But completely worth every ache and pain. Try it at least twice because if you just go the once you will only think of it as painful by the second time it is not nearly as bad.

So that's all it may be a bit lame but makes me feel useful for 5 minutes and well I do it for me so if you do not like it get stuffed :) Will think of more things to recommend next week. Basically it is a excuse to ramble on to my self and feel important. Just play along with me ok ?? Pretty please ?? Bye x