Loving Other Peoples Blogs Right Now and a Update on Cameragate

So I am loving others writings of late. I find myself lying in my old room ( since moving back to Canada and living with mum I have reconnected with my youth. I am in my old room with the same smiley face light fixture and the same scary window that I thought owls hung around as a child ready to snatch me ...I was a melodramatic child) till late in the night 'trolling' the blog world.
There is something strangely appealing and intriguing about reading about others lives and trials. There is something educating and amazing about it.
Admittedly it makes me extremely jealous that I am such a crap writer. But even more importantly it proves to me that I am not the only average person in some bedroom writing about... well any old crap.
I seem to have a continious stream of thought and when I write on my blog it is exactly what is running through my brain at that point and onto the key pad ( hence the shit spelling and the never ending sentences) I have noticed I am not the only one to do this and it rocks people !!

So anyway there are a few blogs that I read everyday , some what stalker like ( sorry ). It gets bad as when they do not post for a bit I start thinking ' god damn write something for christsakes !'
http://www.suburbanmum.com/ is a regular for me. I just love the way she writes. It is too a never ending stream of thoughts. Plus her site is whickedly set up and I always love visiting it ( I get jealous when I look at Suburban mums site ! )
http://www.dooce.com/ if you do not know about Heather Armstrong and the Armstrong clan then you have been living in a shack under a rock in siberia. I can only highly reccomend you get over there and read her. She has the ability to make everything so fucking funny people. Personal favorites are when she posts the various amounts of hate mail from readers. The most recent from a hate mailer named ' Catherine' caused sheer outcry including 3 comments from myself. She is whicked and part of the reason why I love blogging.
http://www.wittydomainname.com/index.html Lisa is sooooo coool. No one writes about their pregnancy like she does. The ticker on baby blog is worth it alone for the weekly countdown to birth and the new comments under it each week sample of comments such as the following: Mommy's glad her morning sickness is subsiding. Just wait till she sees the stretch marks and varicose veins I've got coming for her !! I'm 20 weeks and 3 days old, only 137 days to go !

So these are the mommy ones. I have no idea why I like the mommy ones so much considering I want nothing to do with the life suckers I call children but I do there is something extremely funny about what they write about. They have all written things that have made me laugh cringe and even cry like a year old. They know how to write and it is cool!
I will list others that I read in a next post.

Now update on camera gate. I have yet more great pics on mums digital camera. Being Scottish from my Dad we went the the 15th Med companies Mess dinner for Robbie Burns night on Saturday. I was looookkkinn FINE !! black ball gown hair down slap on and heels. I have pics to prove. I still have no usb cable !! Her safe hiding place has yet to reveal its self. I went to the camera store to buy a new one...... NOT POSSIBLE ! she has a odd ball camera and the cable has to be ordered direct from the camera makers. This of course blows dead goats big style. So the plan is to rip the house apart and find the fucker
Future updates to flow
Lou x
( yeah yeah yeah my spelling is terrible so do not bother telling me I already know :-)

And He leads One of the Super Powers of the Free World

Can George W Bush ( or knobhead as I prefer to call him or Giant Ass Monkey ) make it through one speech and pronounce all his words correctly ??

Do you think he actually knows what half the worlds he is saying means ? Highly unlikely

The word is Nuclear pronounced : N-U-C-L-E-A-R

not

N-U-C-L-I-R

You are a Ass wipe buddy !

I also have a theory that GW is in the early onset of dimensia. He always has that look of deer in the headlights
The look of :
' where the hell am I ? Who am I ? What am I supposed to be saying and talking about ?'

Seriously you watch him closely next time (yes I know that may be hard to do for some) and you will see what I mean
Next thing we know this guy will be drooling and wetting his pants

Good Things on This side of The Pond

Well I am happy to report that some things on this side of the pond are just as good if not better then on th England side ( sorry England)

Firstly Clinique is cheaper way way cheaper!!! I just want to buy the whole damn place out every time I walk by it.
For example I bought my face wash for a cheap 20 bucks the other day. In the UK that would have cost me like almost 16 pounds !! so basically 40 bucks. Plus they have bonus time way more regularly over here then there. You only have to buy 25 bucks worth of stuff then you get all the bonus goodies. In the UK you have to buy at least 2 items to get the goodies. This normally averaged out at a cost of like 40 quid which is a lot of damn money in my books.
Note: Sorry boys who read this I do realise this is most likely inane female chatter but the girls will all know what the hell I am on about ok
Now just as a bit of info. If you want to buy good face wash and evn better skin cream this is what you need to buy NOW :


I used to use the bar of soap which is just as good but this is asier to use and it seems to last for freaking ever as well. Your skin feels clean it just feels damn clean !




I used the gel version shown here in the UK because the UK is no where near as dry as here. It is so light weight and works majic on your skin. Now that I am in Canada and it is the virtual artic tundra that it is I am now using the cream as my skin is soooo dry.




So thats the first thing that is so good about here everything is cheap.

Secondly :
IKEA ! My big blue and yellow mecca. I have professed my love of the swedish haven before but I love it even more now. I had to go there today for mum and can safely say it is even cheaper here! I know people hate it and I know that you have to build your own shit but come on people the swedish furniture kings started a whole new generation of furniture buyers when they created that place. It is my age demographic they were aiming for and lets be honest they did and are doing a damn good job.
I have ear marked every piece of furniture I want when I actually buy my own place ( the plan is summer/fall this year) I cannot wait. I have picked up the ikea big book and I am ready to roll big time

So there you go good things in the frozen north do exist ( not so frozen going up to plus 8 on Thursday HA Art see its not always cold here. Granted I can't exactly go to the lake in a swimsuit but its warm at least)

For Art

Yes I am still alive :-)

Apologies to all for not writing been a wee bit busy and just never seems to be enough time in the damn day at present.

I am highly pissed off at the fact that I still cannot find the cable lead for the camera and now on top of that the cell phone charger has gone walkies as well in one of mum s 'safe' places. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Right so I have been skiing!!! YAAAAAA! I was terrified. The week leading up to going consisted of me having visuals of breaking my legs.
Do not get me wrong I can ski and I can ski well. I have been doing it since the age of roughly 3. My parents would put me and my siblings between their legs and poles in front for us to hang on to and then push us ( sometimes with force) down the hil ( this was before the time of those handy rein leash thingys they have now)
But the problem was that I have not skied in almost 6 years ! Mum kept saying ' ah don't worry kid it is just like riding a bike' YEAH RIGHT easy for you to say mother.
I have not used the news skis out on the market, the fatter shorter ones, I am used to straight long ones. Well let me tell you the new ski's freakin rock !!!!!

It was like riding a bike god dammit ! By the end of the first day I was cruisin my newly canadianed ass off. By the second I was lighting a fag as I loaded on the chair lift ( this takes skill people trust me) and I went into the ' park' and went of a jump, granted it was a feeble attempt but it was a jump all the same. I did feel slightly stilted when little bro George popped off a jump and did a 360. His buddy Alan, on snowboard, popped off and did a load of grabs, but still I rocked ( bear in mind George used to work on the hills as a lifty and the like so he is amazingly good. I refused to go cliff jumping with him and the boys . Even I know my limits people)

So all in all it was wicked. The conditions are the best I have ever known them to be with a base of snow just shy of 300cm and a average snow fall of like 5cm a night what more can you ask for?!
The weather was good. Was oinly minus 8 or so no wind and sun. Plus the slopes were dea. No one was there. They all got scared off when it went down to minus 28 during the week in Alberta but forgot that Marmot basin has a serious inversion going on. So while it may be minus 20 down int he town of jasper it is minus 8 up in the hills on Marmot.

So I do have pics I will post them I will kill mum for 'safely' hiding the cable.

P.S If you ever want to experince the best skiing of your life and fairly cheap go here I promise you will fall in love http://www.skimarmot.com/ . There are so many Americans, Europeans and most of all Brits there now due to the amazing prices condition and staff
Marmot Rocks People !

My First Sentence

I was reading one of my regular blog friends entries, http://www.suburbanmum.com/, and she told of her sons new words and more importantly new sentences ( sooooo cute ya could just eat him up ! ) Well it got me thinking about my first complete sentence and well needless to say it was to form the rest of my adult speech life and the fact that I am a potty mouth. So here it is for all and sundry :

I have no idea what my first word was but it was likely the usual thing like ' mum' 'dad' or even possibly ' food ' in fact food is likely what it was knowing myself like it do !

But my first sentence was a whole different ball game. I do personally think that it was a great moment in my life.

When I was little my mum and dad used to sit my high chair facing the deck and back garden in front of the sliding glass doors. I apparently loved sitting there while eating my various amounts of baby mush ( see possible first words above ....Food) .

We had a 2 dogs Annie and Bandit, they were Springer spaniels and well STUPID !! Stupid as shit. They used to sit outside that glass sliding door in minus 20 odd weather and sctratch at the door. Now these dogs had the most amazing dog house. It had huge amounts of bales of hay surrounding it effectively turning it into a giant heated home. Yet they still sat outside that door and whine and scratch. Dad used to stand at that door and mutter to himself and to the dogs as I sat and ate my baby mush.
Then the fateful day came. The usual routine came. Me. High Chair. Mush. Dad. Dogs. Mumbling. Then the routine broke with this fateful sentence that I decided to repeat after hearing dad:

' Those fucking stupid dogs !! ' It was said with the exact same reflection in voice as my dad. With particular strength on the word ' fucking' . Mum says they both stopped dead in their tracks and were rigid with shame.
Needless to say mum was not impressed. And even after dad popping his clog over 9 years ago I do not believe mum ever really forgave him for that one!! lol

So to all you parents out there remember kids hear it all we remember it all and most importantly god damn we mimic it all !!

Its a Happy New Year !!!

Ohhhhh sweet lord it is a happy new god damn year !!! You ask why it is a happy new year ???? BECAUSE PLEURISY DID NOT BLOODY KILL ME !!! It tried but dammit I won that battle!! So 2 bloody fingers up to you Mister Pluerisy go find another body to attack and poke at !!

So as you can read I am much much better. Here is a break down of the holiday seasons for this newly Canadian girl everyone:

• The dread illness stuck around until xmas eve however it was not nearly as bad as it was the few days before. I could at least cough sneeze and fart without withering up into a ball of pain and agony
• Unfortunately old saint nic was not on my side for xmas. I woke up xmas morning with a damn cold a pure head cold in its purest form possible. Luckly ( not so lucky for her though ha ha ) Mum woke up with it as well. So the 2 of us suffered through xmas day and boxing day with the damn thing in full steam. This of course did not hinder me in my child like joy of ripping off thoughtfully applied wrapping paper from all presents. The only thing that made the scene different from when I was a child was the massive cup of coffee in one hand and the fag in the ashtray !!!
• Christmas was lovely though and it was every single thing I missed in my 5 year absence from my home country and family. In fact it was probably better then I imagined.
• THE GIFTS : ohhh the gifts mum out did herself !!! I got the most stunning Fossil handbag which has yet to leave my side ( it is currently right beside me in full view of my bed ) I got books books and more books. This makes me so happy as only my mother seems to know exactly what books to get me as gifts. I have been reading my ass off endlessly. Also got cook books which also have already been put to good use. And of course I got my yearly dose of wedgewood ( those who know me and those who do not will now know I have a small addiction to wedgewood, not so small actually. I see blue I shake and get excited ) There are so many gifts cannot list them all but they rocked!
• Hmmmmmm boxing day shopping. My lovely mum gave me 200 bucks to shop with as a pressie and shop I did. I am dedicated to the cause. Even with my leper like lokking cold I was out the door by 9 and in the worlds biggest mall, West Edmonton Mall, by a quarter to 10. I bought lovely things including shoes to match stunning new bag! I did buy the most impractical thing in the world, a white jacket. Again those who know me know that this is tempting fate to the biggest degree! However it has been a week and not a single stain.
• New Years: I planned on doing cock all. My plan was to have a bath eat watch BBC Canada and likely be in bed before midnight. New years is not a big deal for me. However my little brown boy friend Ricardo called sad I was SAD IN A BIG WAY and said her had free tickets for me to go out with him my bro our comando dutch boy phil and others and i was to be there no questions asked. I went. I then entered the 5th dimmension of hell everyone...... a country and western bar. The one thing I escaped in the UK was country music. I may have grown up and spent my life in cowboy, prairey, the land of cows horses and wheat but I did not have any like of country music and cowboy hats. I was surounded. What made this situation worse was the fact that I had made the rather adult and stupid decision not to drink and to drive home at end of the night. Without the aid of booze it was even worse. I EVEN LINE DANCED !!!!!!!!!! GOD DAMMIT !!!!! SAVE ME IS WHAT I SCREAMED !!!!!! but you know what I actually had fun. Only in this country,province, and town was there a mechanical bull for all to ride in the middle of a bar !!! before you ask no I did not get on the bull, even if I had been pissed I still would not have got on the damn bull. ( I do have pics of all the others on the bull to share with you ) So new years was fun. I saw it in ( no i did not kiss anyone , why would I they all had cowboy hats on and jeans that would even be to tight for Kate Moss) and left 15 minutes later ...smiling and knowing I had a good time and a laugh with my friends and bmy baby brother.

So thats it for now really. I know I keep promising pics and I do have them. However my mother has this very odd talent of placing things in ' safe ' places and then never knowing where that place may be after the fact. So currently the cable thingy for the camera thingy is missing in this massive house somewhere. Once I find this I will down load and get them on here. So be prepared for a mass amount of pics everyone. Likely by tomorrow or Wednesday.

So love to all for now and ....HAPPY NEW YEAR !!! It is going to be a good one I can feel it in my waters

xx

Sick As A Dog 2 Days Before Christmas ......IT FREAKIN SUCKS

So yes I have been ill granted only for the last 3 days however a deathly ill is what it is.

At first I and mum had thought I had simply pulled a muscle in my back and thought it would just go away ( after 3 muscle relaxents) ...It did not.

So last night mum had her big Christmas party and I was flat on my back in sheer pain. My uncle Bobby, a doctor of viruses, told me what I had after explaining symptoms to him.

PLEURISY!!!!!

For those of you who do not know what this is here is a brief explanation that I looked up on Google :
Pleurisy (PLOOR-iss-ee) is caused by swelling and irritation of the membrane that surrounds the lungs. It is usually a symptom of another illness. It is also called Pleuritic Chest Pain.
Causes
Pleurisy can develop from many things, including bacterial or viral infections of the lungs (such as pneumonia), TB, lupus, chest injury or trauma, a blood clot in the lung, or cancer. Sometimes a cause cannot be found. Doctors call this ideopathic (id-e-o-PATH-ik) pleurisy. Even though the cause isn't known, the problem can still be treated

Thank you google for freakin me out more then I already was god dammit !!!

So last night after reading this I took 2 aspirins 2 benydrils ( however the hell you spell that) and passed out stone could ( think more stoned then anything)
when I woke up this morning it was miraculously gone !!! Needless to say I was soooo happy mainly due to the fact that I could breath like a 28 year old not a 82 year old.
THEN IT CAME BACK !!! It was like god was laughin off his ass at me and my pain.
This time it has showed up on my left lung rather then my right ( must have decided it was not fair that only one side felt the sheer pain the other was not in ! ) I cannot describe to you all what this feels like. Suppose best way is think of a stitch in your side multiply it by 100 then add back pain in the mix and that's it.
So I am currently flat on back breathing like a dying 82 year old and thinking the world is against me
Other then that so far Christmas is looking fucking great just peachy

A request has been made ..pre waring part 2

My Little brown friend Ricardo Ernesto has asked me to write some more about him ( although I have no idea as of yet what I am going to write)

Can safely say this right now though : he is sooooooo drunk. He has managed to get 3 litres of beer in his tiny latin body in a very short amoutn of time. He is currently dancing ( or what you may call dancing around the room to i can believe I can fly ... the punk version)
Bare in mind that this is a man who is responsible for a large amount of peoples mental health being a psychologist ( yeah spelt that wrong I know )

But do have to say he does make a lovely latin mental health expert drunken friend although he is odd.

i fear there may be more posts like this through out the night ....YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED THERE WILL BE GUEST POST FROM THE OTHERS HERE

Pre Warning

I am currently at the PHILAPOLOOZA 2006. Phil our little dutch commando has returned from Afganistan and there is a big party.
So I am pre warning you that tomorrow there will be well...interesting pics and a very hung over Louisa as well !

Have a good night and day all
Lou ( half way to drunk he he he :-)
xx

Having A Tough Time Listening to the Radio here

So I know one of the things that I am missing most in the UK is the BBC and the Radio over there.
I have been listening to CBC (like the Canadian version of BBC but crap) and a month into being here I wish to throw the damn thing through the nearest winder, take a hammer to it or even let a pack of rabid dogs tear it to little bits.
There is this ingrained ability to make everything into a left wing bleeding heart issue. There is no such thing in the CBC as an unbiased factual based report. There is this constant need or craving on their part to be sooo politically correct
EXAMPLE: Sex trade workers! These are what you would call PROSTITUTES!
Call them what they are stop thinking you will offend the poor delicate senses of Canadians across the country. They do actually know that they are prostitutes guys.
Every second day there is yet another report on how the first nations are suffering and how destitute and down in the dumps they are. Rather then making this yet another lefty issue why not just report the facts. Report that massive amounts of money are given to them; report that those massive amounts of money and help and aid are pissed away. Stop making it a bleeding heart issue.
They other thing that is driving me to distraction is the grammar. These people are broadcasters are they not? If so why is it they cannot seriously CANNOT string a sentence together without making a big pigs ear of it?!
EXAMPLE: I seen a plow truck clearing the streets today.
Basic grammer people the sentence should be said as follows: I saw a plow truck clearing the streets today.
I am fairly sure this is taught in early elementry school.
So my beefs are as follows:
Left wing bleeding heart reporting
Non factual biased reporting
And
Bad god damn Grammer !! ( Yeah yeah do not through stones at glass houses and all that I know )

Oh Yes Sorry I am still Alive and Very Much Kicking

I HAVE INTERNET AT HOME !! oh god I nearly wet my pants in sheer joy !! ok maybe not as I do have a moderate of self control but only in small doses

So yes I am connected with rest of the world yet again and it makes me do a happy dance every 5 minutes

So all is well I am as stated above alive and kicking. So in point form here are the comings and goings up to today:

• Greta the golf still rocks this world and makes me endlessly happy when I drive her ( suburban mum see you are not the only one with a yummy new car but to be fair and also thank god mine is not a 'yummy mummy car'
• I have finished my various rounds of interviews for my line of work in the cable manufacturng world. They were not really interviews more like them selling me the jobs which was a bonus. So now I am just awaiting purposals from them ( taking their damn time!! )
• I have been temping for the mummy since I arrived back ( always so so handy having a family business of personel agency ! ) so have been making enough money to cover Greta's car payments and insurance and on the note of insurance.......
• went to go pay with post dated cheques the 2 remaining payments on insurance and was promptly told they made a mistake and my insurance amount had changed ( I went into the end of the world is coming oh my god please do not let it be to much higher mode in 2 seconds flat) BUT it was good news my insurance is cheaper by 1000 bucks !!! BONUS !
• Christmas is only 12 days away and my god have I been shoppng. Boy is it nice to live in the city that hearlds the worlds biggest mall ( seriously it is the worlds biggest mall with a water park and wave pool, ice rink, 2 count em 2 rollar coasters and amusment park, golf driving range, shooting range, yep you can shoot guns in the place, and randomly seals penguins and flamingos ! oh yeah and the endless shops) So I have been buying for the mum for days. Cannot say what has been bought as she reads me so that would be a screw up on my part if listed the various items.
• Cleo/Leo the gender confused cat is in heaven over here. He seriously is in his element in Canada and has a new best buddy in the world with old dikker. Mum and I have found endless fun and a new way to get through the dark Canadian winters.... Catnip !! Christ all I can say is it is so funny to watch 2 cats jacked up on catnip trying to lick the hinge on the door! sooooo funny. Dikker takes the form of a old drunk who weaves his mass weight across the room and cleo takes the form as the stupid teenage drunk when he falls off the giant cat tree thing we bought them ...endless fun ...catnip addicted kittys ha ha ha
• I am warm! It has been like plus 5 for days and I am lovin it right now
• I go to the gym here most days now ( 4 -5 days a week) it is odd though as normally there is the usual suspects : The no neck group of muscle bound men, the twinkies with smeared on makeup and so much licra it is ungodly and the old farts slogging it out. But there is a new group ...touque wearing freaks ( tougues as in winter wolly hats) yes there are boys working out wearing touques ?!?!? WHY I ASK WHY YOU FREAKS?!?!?

So that is all for now. Once I get mums digital camera up and running will take pics, hopefully this week, and post them. I will try and get pics of the overly high cats for you all to get mid day enjoyment from and of course Greta the wonder car.

All is well miss all my friends in the uk so much but I am still very happy to be back here in the great north and really not home sick for the UK. Aside from my magazines and the BBC god I miss those

Thats all for now all

L xx

Say Anything about how warm it is Where You are And I swear there will be words Said to you !!

First of all before I say anything else I need to say one thing. One very very important thing!! I AM FUCKING FREEZING GOD DAMMIT !! Oh my god I am cold what was I thinking coming back in winter. Right now onto the rest of it now that is out of the way ha ha !!

Yes I am back in Canada!! Cat and I made it in one piece ….. Barely. The flights themselves were just fine in fact they were pretty damn good to be honest.
Unfortunately I missed not 1 but 2 connecting flights. It took me almost 3 hours to clear Cleo through customs and the inspection people. So I missed the first flight then missed the amended time second flight. So rather then getting in Edmonton at 6pm got in at 11:30.

Cleo traveled really well and was so looked after by everyone. He was brilliant with his first flight from Manchester to Calgary. But I think the second flight royally freaked him out. This would be due to the fact that it was just a propeller plane. Really really small probably a lot colder and much louder. Was to funny though because when I got of that plane and the family was all there to meet me we did not know where to get the cat from. So mum went to ask the info lady. She just pointed down this long very empty stretch of airport and said he is on the oversized luggage belt. We turn around and look down this long hall way and all you can see is the cat crate all by its lonesome on this conveyor belt and hearing this rather desperate pathetic meek meow!! he was not happy at this point.

I have settled in just fine with mum and the house all came second nature really. Cleo has been fine as well hide for about 2 days and now wanders around as if he owns the joint. He also insists on terrorizing poor Dikker out rather elderly and very fat cat. He does not take to kindly to this.

I had to pay off (Note: mum paid to be frank) a large amount of parking fines all 600 bucks worth before could re new license and get car so spent the first days doing all that.

Most importantly though is that I have bought a brand spanking new car! She is a 2007 silver golf 4 door. I have named her Greta Gwendolyn Taylor. She rocks! We have already done 2 360”s through 1 major intersection. This would be due to the horrendous weather we got on Thursday. Snow, wind, lots and lots of wind and minus 25 weather. It was like an ice rink. So I have had a rapid introduction into winter driving again.
I have been temping for Mums Company on various jobs to keep me going. However I have had a job interview for the same line of work I had in the UK. I was both happy and a bit let down. I was seriously let down by the basic wage of 35,000 bucks a year. However I was very pleased with the profit sharing scheme. I was shown figures for the last year and these guys walked away with half their year’s wage 2 years on the trot each April. So you are talking about a lump sum payout of like 15 k! Plus they have monthly bonuses of at least 1500 to 2500. He said this is almost a given due to the market over here and everyone is making a hell of a lot of money. So with the bonus it would work out to about 50,000 – 60,000 a year. So I have to think about this. Plus I have another interview with one of my old customers next Friday. Luckily this is an employees marker currently.

So that is it. I will post pictures of all sorts shortly for all to see including: Greta the golf (before I get creamed by a big truck and destroy her), the snow more snow and more snow, Cleo terrorizing dikker endlessly, and best of all Cleo playing on his gigantic new cat tree (they make everything bigger over here) and falling off. This last one was hour of amusement for mum and me seriously was.

Till next time everyone x

Patience Please All ( 2nd Edition)

Right second time writing this !!

I will be posting a fullsized post soon. I have limited access to a pc right now. But that is all about to change as mum has got wireless and satlite coming ( bring on the BBC !!!! )

Here are some tidbits to keep you all going :

. I have a new car. 2007 silver golf by the name of Greta ( yes I name my cars and yes she rocks this world !! )
. Cleo travelled well is happy and terrozing the existing cat, the old ginger tom named dikker ( secretly we think dikker loves cleo)
. IT IS FUCKING COLD !!! Seriously people todays high is minus 23 it is currently minus 27 !! hmmmm yeah thats cold
. Canada freakin rocks !! I am very happy

Right I will email all of you individually as well when get a chance
will also take pics soon and post them as well
xx

True Wife Confession : I Love this Site

A few days ago I click on a link from Art's website http://arthurslifer.blogspot.com/ ( I have not clue how to make those useful links with someones name !! I am truly usless when it comes to anything computer orientated just so you know) and I was hooked.

The site is called True Wife confession and it is a brilliant idea as far as I am concerned http://truewifeconfessions.blogspot.com . Basically a load of women and men to ( I think ) confess to all on the site. It is anonymous so no one needs know who you are.

There are some brilliant confessions such as :
Confession #1171Dear Hubby:You know how "we" agreed that we were going to keepthe thermostat at 68 this winter and not "waste money"on foolish things like heat and warmth? Well, I justcan't do it. As soon as you go to work in themorning, I crank the old thermostat up to 75. Roasty,toasty warm. I LOVE HEAT!!!!

there are some really really bad confessions such as:
Confession #1126We've been together for 11 years now. I've alreadycheated on you twice, both times ended every badly asI became immediately needy and clingy to these men. Itwasn't about the sex but rather being around a man whoI found exciting and smarter than I was.Someone who made their own decisions. Someone who hadambition. Someone who treated me badly.You don't know about those other men and I have nointention to tell you. I like to think it's because itwould hurt you too badly and I haven't done it forgoing on 6 years now but in reality, it's because Iwant to keep the door open for other opportunities. Idon't want you looking over my shoulder.There's another man at work who fits all theaforementioned criteria. I know that if I continueworking there we will both end up cheating on ourspouses. I know it yet I am hoping it happens. Idaydream about him and make little excuses to stop byhis office.He invites me to go out with a group of people afterwork but I haven't gone. Yet. I know it's wrong and Iknow it only end in tears. Why am I doing this to us?Why can't you see that I can't be the one in controlbecause I only fuck everything up? Why can't you see that?

There are some really lovely ones as well:
Confession #1077Last night while I watched you soothe our baby when she was feeling sick itmade my heart want to burst. It's so true that watching a man be a daddy canmake you love him even more. 7 years, 3 children.... I love you more than Iever imagined I could.

And finally there are some truly sad ones that maybe want to make you cry:
Confession #1023Hubby,I am sorry I let myself go after having the baby. I hate being fat. I wish I had the sheer will power to be anorexic. When we met I was a size 4, now I'm 20W. It makes me insecure about our relationship and I take out my low self-esteem on you as a defense mechanism.

The point is that these various people feel the need to let these things out. They feel that this is the best and least hurtful way to do it. And to be honest I actually agree with that.
It is like vouyerism on a extreme level as you read through all the confession but you will find you cannot stop your self.
Have to say a large number of them made be laugh out loud and almost spit coffee out my nose as I read them.
Just think it is a really interesting sight ( this is the only way I can think of describing it to be honest )

boiling point

I am now randomly bursting into tears for unknown reasons.

There is no explination other then possibly hmmmmm..... let me think about this......hmmmm

FUCKING STRESS ! GET ME ON THE PLANE AND FEED ME FREE BOOZE NOW !!

I Just Want to Get On The Damn Freakin Plane !!!!!

Seriously thats all I have to say I just want to get on the plane like now !!

I am sooooo tired. Really worn out it feels like i have been running on empty for the last 3 weeks. I have not cooked a proper meal in weeks due to the fact that I have no motivation. That and I sold my freezer for £10.00 so not really been buying food ina normal sense. Mainly been buying the 'opps' on the shelves in asda. You know what I mean, food that is about to go out of date and its well cheap !! there is only so much fuckin quiche a girl can bloody eat !

I am mentally shattered and I swear when i get on that plane I am going to pop 2 sleeping tablets neck a few huge glasses of alchol and pass out ( snoring of course as i do that apperantly when i am drunk )

So yeah i just want to get on that plane NOW !!

Life Could Mildly Suck Right Now .... If I let it !

Well 5 days. 5 days till life starts all over. 5 days till I leave everything behind here. 5 days till I am ..... Well home really. It is a odd kinda feeling you know.

Saturday was my leaving do. I did have a brilliant time however there were a few issues. Firstly that not as many people came as I had hoped (see now I sound like fucking billy no mates, it’s not true I do have mates promise) so I just felt slightly let down by that but that soon vanished anyway.
The main things are the following:
1. I looked fucking fantastic!!! Particularly my legs in the heels and the amazing cleavage I had going on!! I will not blow my own horn to much here but heads turned boys looked at me and it felt fantastic!
2. The most important friends were there and that’s all that really matters at the end of the day right! I have fucking brilliant friends and they were there and it almost made me want to cry in happiness that they were there
3. I drank so so much. Now this could be classed as a bad thing but it was not because I just seemed to enjoy myself more anyway the more I drank!! Plus the booze made me forget that others had not turned up. After a few everything seems great.
And finally........
4. I hooked up with someone! Yes I am a slapper yes I know that this is bad! But you know what.... I could give 2 flying fucking frogs what others may or may not think!! I loved it!! I loved the fact that someone seemed to genuinely find me attractive. I loved the fact that I made no effort what so ever to pursue this person they did the chasing! I loved the fact that I was told I was beautiful (even if he was drunk who the fuck cares at the time it rocked my god damn freaking world everyone!)
I PULLED AND I LOVED IT!!!

There is a down side to all of this though. Obviously I am not going to divulge who this random hook up was as that would be not so nice for the person. I will say this it was not some random drunken boy. It was someone I know through work and it is someone that probably secretly I fancied purely for his cheeky sense of humour I have had the pleasure of dealing with for the last year.
The down side is this: had this been a year ago I would have pushed for things to go further (obviously if he wanted to be not talking stalker girl here ok!) I would have gone weak in the knees thinking about him and well his cheekiness!
But alas I can't can I? Because in exactly 120 hours I will be boarding a plane to go back to Canada with no intent of ever returning. So quite frankly I have not allowed myself to react to this. I have made myself realise this was a bit of fun and that I am leaving this country with a bang .,..... Literally ( sorry mum I so know you are reading this in horror right now)


So I will enjoy it for what it was and leave it at that , thanks Vern ...... (This is not his realy name do not worry!!)

Attack of the killer Geese and Ducks

( Second time trying to write this as pc is offically possessed !0
When my mum was over here we went to Bakewell in Derby. Amazing and lovely place but also full of ducks and geese.

In all my wisdom and common sense i decided to buy a loaf of bread to feed all the ' pretty ducks and geese' what a dumb ass move that was !!!

They are nasty bastards !! You ever seen the size of a canadian gooses beak !?!? Now try imaging 15 of em trying to get at your yummy loaf of bread as if they were starving birds from third world countries ( bear in mind that i was about 1 of 10 people with food for them so no they were not starving third world birds ! )

See pics below as evidence:

The ducks were not so bad mainly because they are a damn sight smaller then the geese. Note the random seagull muscling in on the act ( shit rockets as I like to call them )

At this point I had noted the evil glint in this gooses eyes as he moved rapidly to the banks eying up my big ass bag of food !!

At this point the goose had launched himself up on the bansk and i could have sworn i heard him laughing in a rather sinister way. I made a very quick retreat while him and his gang of 10 other equally big evil looking birds followed me in a trance like waddle

Note: I do realise my spelling is crap people and yes I do have spell check but seems as thought my possessed pc is not allowing me to spell check today .... so just live with it ok !?

Drunken Sunday Dinner for Friends to Meet My Mum

While my mum was over we had a big Sunday Roast for my friends to meet my mum.

So mum and I ( yes I helped loads !! ) cooked a big lamb roast dinner and I even made pumpkin pie as I had missed Thanskgiving the weekend before.

Had 4 friends over, Mason and Emma who married last year. Mason is a painter and one of my best best friends in the world the man simply rocks !! Emma his wife studies biolodgy and specialises in ....spiders .... seriously spiders.
Amanda and ian who live together. Amanda and I have been best friends since I arrived in the UK and love her to bits, she works in recruitment. Ian who is her boyfriend is a doll and the loveliest guy out there oh and one of the absolute funniest people I have met, pee your pants funny !!
Anyway the evening was a blast. They all thought the sun shines out of mums ass ( which I am sure it does sometimes ha ) and that the food was amazing. The pumpkin pie, which none of them had ever tried before, was a hit and a half. So much so they all took some home with them in pure joy.
9 bottles of wine later and a Mason who could barely stand up for all the food he ate it has to be said the even was declared a pure sucess.

See evidence below :

The must have pose for the picture shot





Ian taking a pic however when you look at it it seems he is taking a shot of the ceiling ??? and then Amanda and Mason beisde him

Hmmmmmm whippy cream in a can straight into the mouth !!! Nothing better !!! ( this is emma by the way masons wife )

Mason Realising after the whippy cream incident that this was his wife and what had he done marrying her ?!?! ( kidding he loves her to bits

And finally ..... The rockin Mummy !!!

Long Overdue Entry ....Sorry

Big apologies for the complete lack of post lately. Life has been manic and more manic but also good.

First of all it was my Birthday yesterday. Woooo Hooooo ME!!! I am a big old 28 years now!! Oh the joy 2 more years till 30 relocating back to another country and living alone with a cat oh the joy !

My mum was over from Canada for the last 2 weeks and we had a brilliant time been wicked.
Spent the first week with me here in the UK and we shopped basically. Shopped endlessly!! Which is a bad thing when you are trying to downsize and ship yourself and all you own back to Canada? I acquired yet more shoes (3 pairs in fact) and yet more cloths (to many to list actually)
The second week we went to Brussels to see my lovely sister. We stayed in her amazing stunning flat. Seriously I was so so jealous it was truly lovely. Plus it completely suits Alex to a T was so impressed with it.
Alex took mum and me to the Belga Queen for my Birthday meal on Thursday. It is a seriously posh seriously expensive and famous restraunt. The food was unreal but the goings on are what made the night. First of all was the bathroom incident with mum. Right so we go to the bar as we wait for our table and mum goes the bathroom. So when she gets back she has a peculiar look on her face. She said ‘the bathrooms are very avient garde’ we said what do you mean mum. She then proceeds to tell us that although there are doors it is firstly unisex. I was thinking no biggy been in them before. Then she says its all reflections and mirrors but that the doors are frosted but see through!!!! She advises us to use the left stall as it is more hidden and to kind of huddle in the corner so no one sees us.
So off I went to the toilets thinking ‘Hmm this will be odd’ Get in the left stall close the door and then realise what a tit my lovely mum is!!
Although the doors were frosted and see through, there was a way of fixing that: turning the locking knob on the door. When you did this the glass instantly went white and was no longer seeing through!!! My mother took a pee in plain view of all in a very posh restraunt soooooo damn funny !!
There was another goings on even better though. The 2 tables behind us were very clearly full of famous people. Like hell we could figure out who they were!!! There was one table with a nanny 4 young cute boys and 1 what was obviously an adopted Chinese toddler. The table beside them was the parents. It appears they were a rock group who will be forever known as aging Belgium rockers. Seriously aging!! They may not have been Belgium but they were obviously famous. Mum took some pictures of Alex and I and as soon as she did that 4 massive body guards popped up out of no where behind aging Belgium rockers!!!! they head lady at the restraunt very politely came over and asked if for the moment we could not take pictures ….. We stopped the body guards where scary assed mo fos !!!

So yeah that’s it really nothing else new. Oh yeah
18 FREAKIN BLOODY DAYS TILL I FLY HOME!!!!!!!!! THANK FUCK !!!!