So Seriously those who read me regularly ( I now know there is more then 2 there are threee...I have a lurking anynomous who seems pleasant enough and very polite) know I am normally pretty upbeat or even fiesty at times. I like to have a moan about the things that send me round the bend and back ( like the shitty drivers over here in Canada ...damn the gets my goat) and I do try to keep it light and entertaining most times.
But I also believe that the purpose behind a blog is to be able to let out what is wrong, what angers you and what hurts you. It is for a person the vent and rage.
I want to vent and rage!! I have not let a boy get under my skin as much as him and the strange thing is I have no idea why I have let it do this??
I have managed to stop the random feelings of dispair but have replaced them with doubting thoughts of " di it really happen??" or " OMG what the fuck did I go and do that for" or thoughts of " will he come back ..SOON ?"
I also know that this will pass as everything else in life does. So this thought is what keeps me from turning into a crazy single late 20 something pining for something that will like never come to fruition.
Poor Thunder the horse is taking a battering as the only thing that seems to completely clear and void my head of any thoughts is going out for stupidly long rides with Thunder. Due to the fact that I have to put every thought into the horse when riding him it means no other thoughts seem to invade the empty places in my mind.
So yes I am a self pity fool right now. Yes I feel deeply sorry for myself and well in a odd sort of way what I lost a week ago. Put again " this to will pass"
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