Quick Shout Out

Seems as though I have new readers lurking in the background now. They appear to particularly like the stories of my resident lesbians

So a quick welcome and hello to the boys at a certian recruitment place in a certian town named Leeds.

Just remember i now know who you are and when you are on here so best watch your P's and Q's lads :-)

Happy reading

P.S I will keep you updated on the Lesbians activities

2nd post : Thank you ...

Thank you very much to the obviously badly endowed bastard in his massive Range Rover for cutting me off this morning at the lights !!!
They made a turning lane for a reason join the queue you small dicked impatient idiot !!!

Thank you to the oh so lovely cashier at tescos this morning, You obviously love your job so much. How many times did I have to tell you no I do not need cash back. After yelling at you for the 3rd time you say to me '' there is no need for that response miss, you know I do not need to serve you ???'' YOU CALL WHAT YOUR DOING ALREADY SERVICE !!!

Thank you to the man who decided it would make more sense this morning to run down the middle of the road to catch his bus then the more conventional route of the pavement. Yes I did need to honk my horn at you aggressively!! Yes I did need to yell at you '' get off the road you muppet !!! Or I will actually hit you !!'' and yes I did need to yell '' next time drag your ass out of bed on time to make the bus that you take every morning and every morning you run down the road cause you are late !!!!'' get a watch learn how to read time and use the damn pavement !! it is there for a reason ..... pedestrians..... roads are for cars dickhead

Rant done now it will be a good day I swear
( yes I still wish to kill my workmate but whatever if I drink through the day it will seem a good day no matter what ! )

2 Posts today : Part 1 The Lesbians are Back

Right they are back everyone and they are back with a vengeance!!! Not only did they roll on in at like midnight last night they did it noisily and on top of that I am pretty sure they did not even make it through the front door before they were at it.

I am amazed at the stamina of lesbians!! Are all lesbians like marathon runners ?? Can they go for hours without coming up for air ?? Are they all finely tuned athletes ? Or is it just my local lesbians?!

These girls do impress me although it would be nice if they would kindly screw when I am not trying to sleep. I wonder how it would be taken if I gave them some kind of rota like this :

Mondays
6:00 - 8:00 am - no sex Louisa has just woken up and does not need to hear either of you wailing like its the second coming of Christ

9:00 - 18:00 - Go at it girls !!!! Screw like bunnies no one is there and you can make as much noise as you like !!!

18:00 - 22:00 - no actual sex if you want a bit of heavy petting but without making noise then do it. I am trying to either watch telly or work. It is very hard to watch my various crap shows with the background noise of what could be mistaken for a murder !

22:00 - 6:00 - NO SEX !!!! You are disturbing my cat and he may need some kitty therapy of some sort at this rate girls !!!

Somehow giving the lesbians a rota from the neighbor downstairs sounded a good idea in my head but now that I have visualized this I am thinking it would not get a welcomed reception

any thoughts ??

Diving in , Damn the Consequences

Right normally I do not wade into the political mine field of this world let alone the middle east. I normally leave this for my world dominating little sister. However I have had enough of the bleeding heart pure lefting wing reporting I am forced to watch on a daily basis. Damn the people who may come after me for the below statement, but that's the joy of free speech and free thinking and most importantly free will.


ISRAEL AND LEBANON ARE AT WAR PEOPLE !!!!! This is not some little fight. These are not school children fighting in the playground over who's turn it is to kick the damn ball!!

I am sick of the bleeding heart news reports. Reports banging on about how the people of Lebanon are suffering and bombs are dropping here and there. Lets clear something up: Lebanon started this. More precisely the Hezbollah started this ok. Also big difference in the bombing tatics. Where Israel is dropping fairly precise bombs on specific targets, Military, factories etc. The Lebanese are just launching those bastards any old which way they want, basically where ever the breeze takes them. BIG DAMN DIFFERENCE PEOPLE !!!!

They are now saying on the news that humanitarian aid is needed in Lebanon. People this is not apoor country. This is not a country being attacked for no reason. It is not a Indonesia or a Darfur where people are suffering at no fault of their own. This a country that has effectively declared war ( yet again ) on its neighbor's.

For the first time ( and hopefully the last time ever ever ever ) I agree with George bush and his stance on this and Tony Blairs stance on this. Israel needs to finish this get out and I suppose in a way make their point.

People may disagree with me on this but you know what I do not care it is my opinion stated as eloquently as I can. Take it or leave it. Comment or do not comment up to you.

Have You Ever........

Have you ever wanted to actually kill someone you work with ?

Have you ever then thought to yourself '' yes I could get away with this and even if they did catch me I will class it as self defense because my sanity is slowly but ever increasingly ebbing away''

and then have you ever thought '' yep all charges would be dropped as the justice system would fully agree with your self defense/temporary insanity plea''


Well I am currently at that stage ..... oh sweet lord above help me !!

Oh The Heat !

Oh good lord above it has been hot here. I am not one to complain about a little bit of good weather. However when it is weather that is slowly melting me quicker then the wicked witch of the east I will complain !

I have to say I was not prepared for the kind of heat we have recently been treated to here. Monday was warm at 30 but livable Tuesday was warmer still at 32 degrees not so nice plus in all my wisdom and forward thinking I went to the gym. Yep I am stupid and yes I regretted it but god damn did I sweat those pounds off !!!

And then there was yesterday ..... 34 and half degrees !!! Jesus it was hot and it was humid and it was gross. It was like walking in pea soup but not as tasty. You could see others visibly reeling backwards when they made their first steps outside the air conditioned building. You could then see them mouth the words ' fuck me !! Its hot !!' no shit Sherlock !

There are other downsides to this weather many to list. However the biggest downside is as follows: Pasty white skinny, not so attractive tattoo covered English men with there shirts off. Seriously it is enough to turn you off the male spieces !!! It is so so bad. Just as bad are the over weight, again possibly slightly unattractive, scally looking English girls that insist on showing as much wobbly skin as possible !!!! Its so bad.

So my campaign for shit weather to return. For all the bad taste uneducated masses to get dressed again and for my ' Manchester webbed feet' to return.

The Brown Boy

Today as promised to my lovely brown boy, Ricardo, I am going to write about him. Now we can call this a type of classified as I have a plan to sell this boy to the single women of the world. Although it cannot just be any old women she has to be at least smart, relatively good looking , smallish, and able to put up with Richie's ego as well ( yes you have a ego my boy and you know it!!!! ha ha )

Ricardo is actually one of my not so little brothers best friends and if I am honest probably turned out to be one of my best friends as he is the nicest guy out there.

Here is ' the brown boys heritage : Venezuelan,Peruvian,Swiss and Canadian ( god I hope I got that right ) As you can tell he is a basic bog standard Heinz 57 with a little Latin flavor thrown in for good measure.
*( before you get offended as some might, the brown boy reference is a term of affection from the Taylor family to him we also call him our house boy as well. Deep down we know he loves it !! )

Anyway he rocks in his own little Latin way. At Christmas he joined us all in the North for New Years in the UK, it was a experience I will never forget !!!!

Not only did he believe that all English women loved him ( some may have ) he also thought he had the best English accent ever !!! HE DIDN'T !! It was terrible in fact it was so so embarrassing when he did it in public that we all ran away as far as possible. On one occasion we all went shopping at Cheshire Oaks on the new years bank holiday. Richie and Phil ( other best mate, Very very tall Blonde Dutch Commando) decided that they were going to test their theory that the accent was perfection and worked at all times. As we walked through the packed Oaks both boys started yelling ' OI LOOK AT THESE FIT BIRDS WE ARE WITH !!!!!!!' My mum was so embarrassed and amused at the same time that she was laughing so hard she nearly wet herself and hiding behind any large object she could find!!! And that is Richie through and through takes the piss has a laugh and can be a giant yet lovable pain in the ass at times.

When ever he comes to visit us when we are at Mum's she always says after he leaves' what a lovely lovely guy ' sickening isn't it !!! We think she would love to pass him off as one of her own , be difficult considering he is the brown boy and we are as white as the driven snow. But I am sure she would find a way if she could.

So there is a taste of the Latin boy for you all and below a few pics as well ( you will soon see what I mean when I say he thinks he is gods gift !! ha ha ) I hope you enjoyed this rather long ramble about one person.
it had to be done. I can safely say that one of the reasons I am happy to move back home is because I can piss about with Richie when I get back and know a guaranteed good time and laugh is to be had !!!












' yes ladies I am ready and waiting all yours'














' I am the man and everyone knows it'













This boy loves his food and always charms his way into a good meal at Mum's

The Animals in My Life

I have a large amount of animals linked to me ( pets and the like that is !! ) so here are a few pictures of some of them for you . The only one missing is Clio/Leo the gender confused cat. I will some day attempt to pin him down and get a picture. By the way he has got a new obsession ......Bubbles the damn cat is in love with bubbles ..... God he is weird !

Ah Penny. This dog rocks !!!!! She leads the life of Riley with Mum now getting all the scraps, a pig ear every night before bed and she even has her own special blanket .... On mum's bed and sleeps with her . Like I said life of Riley !!!

Dikker. Possibly one of the fattest animals I have ever had in my life !!! Although mum has politely informed me that he has recently lost weight.....Where I ask where ?!?!

Edward the Donkey. Now he is possessed by Satan of the Donkey world but he is the coolest damn donkey of the underworld !!!

THUNDER !!!!! The biggest hugest horse ever seen !!! He looks big and he is big, Mum calls him Big Boy. He is actually as soft as a marshmallow give this boy food and he is yours for life !

So there you go a few animals for you to see !

I Have Returned from the Motherland

Hello all !!! So sorry not been very active on here. I have been in the homeland ( Canada ) and decided that I would not post whilst there as computers remind me of work to be frank!!!

I am going to be short on this post due to fact that I am jet lagged like a bastard right now and fear I may fall asleep and drool on my key board ha ha !!!

But here are some pictures for you all:

I had to put this one on as it is one of the very very if not the only photo I have ever liked of myself was so impressed !!!!

My lovely mum. Had a great time with her and the family and surprise surprise we did not even fight !!!!

My Uncle Murray and my brothers girlfriend the beautiful Amanda

AND FINALLY ....... My not so little brother on the left , George and his best friend and good friend to me as well Ricardo or otherwise known as ' The Latin lover'

Now there are loads more pics which will post over the next little while and tell you all more !!

Great Things

What more can a girl ask for when living in the UK and being Canadian more importantly Edmonton...... England winning there first match of the world cup ( a win is a win guys stop moaning !! )
AND
Edmonton winning game 3 of the Stanley cup final !!!

Yesterday I went to exchange square to watch the mighty lions and loved it. The atmosphere was wicked the weather was amazing and the beer was surprisingly cheap only downside :
SUNBURN !! Even with factor 20 on I was crispy like a duck all you need was the pancakes and hoi sin sauce !

Last night it got better. When I was just about to get to bed I flipped over and low and behold at 1 am that morning the hockey game was on live !!! I set my alarm for 1 am dragged self out of bed and managed to watch the first 2 quarters. I finally thought ' I am fallin asleep here record it you doozy mare ! ' so I did.
I just finished watching the 3rd quarter and jumped wooped and yelled in excitement in the plus 30 weather !!! They won !!! It was wicked !!

Anyway countdown to going home has begun. I have done nothing packed nothing cleaned very little and running out of time but it is just to hot !!
I found a amazing designer bag in TK Max and will likely treat myself ( 20 pounds reduced from 140 !! ) and the old hair is getting a well deserved chop tomorrow as well. So at least I have my priorities straight .... Yeah right !!! But at least I am less then a week from good old Canada and its greatness !

that's about it folks . Off to the center of the universe again *( Bracknell that is ) on Wednesday and Thursday and then fly out Saturday morning
Will keep you all up to date promise !
Lots of love and keep cool in this weather !
COME ON ENGLAND !!!
GO OILERS BLOODY GO !!!!

The Countdown Begins In So Many Ways

Yes it is time for my annually pilgrimage back to the mother land of snow ice and polar bears.

I fly out on the 17th and have to say I am so so looking forward to it!! My best mate Sarah is coming along for the magical mystery tour as well which makes it all the better.
Normally I am overly organized for these trips. You know suitcase packed 3 weeks in advance and feet itching to get on the plane. This time is different. Due to my weekly trips to the center of the world, otherwise known as Bracknell, I have been very limited on time and have organized nothing !! But it will all come right in the end and be fine
So yes look out Canada here I come !!!

* ( big shout out to the oilers !! My hockey team is in the final for the Stanley cup. Although they have lost the first 2 games of a 7 game series we all know they can do it !!
GO OILERS GO!!!!! )

Another major countdown is obviously the world cup, if you do not know that is about to kick off then you obviously live in a cupboard somewhere like a mushroom.
I do want England to do well and I will attempt not to be negative ....However......
I find it very odd that a entire nation and team place all there hopes on the shoulders of one 20 year old who is injured!! If they get over the fact that they may not have Wayne Rooney and just play the game then they may just do well.
First game Saturday I will be watching with bells and whistles at exchange square in center of Manchester with Sarah. Either way I am looking forward to it and can only cross fingers say a little prayer and think positive !!
COME ON ENGLAND BRING IT HOME !!!!! 40 YEARS IS TO LONG TO WAIT !!!

Windsor

Recently I have been traveling to my works office down south in Bracknell ( the center of the world ..... Really its no more like fourth dimension of hell ). Due to the fact that it does not appear Bracknell has any sort of hotel in it I always end up staying outside .... This is good ! Now because of this I have fallen in love with a place down here.... Windsor

I WANT TO LIVE HERE !!!!!

Honestly it is the most lovely pretty place ever. It is quiet, it is calm, there are no scallys ( at least none in sight more then likely locked up somewhere ) It is clean and pretty it is perfect. It is also impossible for me to live here due to the fact that it is fucking expensive people!! Seriously you need to be earning proper money to live here. But for some unknown reason that makes me want to live here even more.

See the thing is every street is full of what I would call my ideal English house: They are all lovely cottages and mill houses. They are all terraced ( I do actually like terraces but only the old ones like here because walls are really thick) They have beautiful sash windows and tiny walled front gardens. They are just damned cute!

Every time I am here I go for a walk around the area and must look like a peeping tomette because I just peer through every window as I walk by ( out of jealousy but also because simply I am one nosey cow )
I just like it here the place is nice plus it helps that it seems to be eternally sunny here as well

oh well grass is always greener on the other side isn't it ?

Crap Telly

I will be the first to admit that I have a slight issue with crap telly. By that I mean I watch it never endingly to a mind numbing point, its a disease I think ?
My family will fully agree with this. While they watch very little TV I watch never endingly. I may not always be watching it. Sometimes it is just background noise in the flat. But if it is particularly crap telly unlike most people I watch it whole heartily.

Does this make me a fool? Stupid? Or a person with no depth ? HELL NO !!! Society has created this type of TV viewing for a reason. For it to be watched and ultimately talked about by the ' water cooler' I believe it was created for a number of reasons but one sticks out most to me. I think the creators of crap telly did to see how long it would take for it to appear in non tabloid papers and one news worthy 'educated' programs. And guess what ? It has everyone !!

The biggest example of this in the UK is Big Brother. I think initially it was the show that was ' looked down upon' a show that is puerile crap and to be fair it was and in most ways still is. But now in its seventh year of running it has broken the mold of tabloid stories and appearing in papers like the independent and The guardian. They are writing serious articles about it and questioning the various issues that are now appearing on this years show.

To me it just proves that society has changed over time to accept these shows as not just ' noise in the background' put it on because there is nothing else to watch. They are watching it to see how human nature works live and uninterrupted ( aside from big brother throwing the housemates the odd curve ball but that's fun) It is bring up some serious issues otherwise not mentioned like bullying, isolation, stress reactions etc. It is no longer crap telly it is good TV viewing. It is enthralling, at times gripping, extremely funny and more importantly extremely sad as well. This show has everything about human interaction in society in one little house in some sound studio in some set lot somewhere in London. It Works.

Now for the fun ... The Housemates! Damn channel 4 has out done themselves this year. As well as sending in the normal ' I am destined to be a page 3 girl or a porn king' they have thrown some really interesting ones in this time. The one that stands out most is Pete. He has tourettes..... Get over it !!! The out cry from the high browed papers that he is being taken advantage of is utterly stupid and if anything insulting to Petes intelligence. He is not stupid he knew what he was doing and what he was going in to and good on him !! The man is bloody marvelous. Aside from that he whistles as one of his ticks and boy he can whistle. Meows when he sees a hot girl ( boy is meowing all the time ) and the best of all he says ' wanker' very randomly to anyone and everyone , irony at its best.

Take a minute watch it guarantee you will get hooked on it

Apparently not that Important after All

I just received my letter advising me of my pay increase before I tell you what they give me here is the history:
I have worked for this company for 2 years and 2 months I have had a total of a weeks ( 7 days sick ) in that time period. I have come in early and left late. I have taken on extra projects such as the one mentioned below and completed them.

They have given me a amazing 456 pound increase. This works out to after tax each month to £28.00
I can safely say I have never felt so under valued insulted and worthless to a employer as I presently feel. My wish to return to Canada leave this place and never look back has just been reaffirmed ifIi could go right now I would. I would get on a plan and fuck off

Yes I am Important ... I think

I have been given a new mission at work: Go sort out the staff in our office down south ( I will not name where down south as I have never named who I work for for fear of it biting me back in the ass so office down south will be known as TSO = The shit office )

When I was given the mission by my big head cheese boss I was thinking hmm piece of piss this mission : make the staff do their jobs the right way , follow procedures stop cocking up etc.

I was wrong

I have spent two days at the TSO and felt as though everything I said to them was listened to but not complete taken on board. I got the feeling that as I was saying all this vital ( and extremely important ) information they were thinking in their heads ' Ah she leaves tomorrow so does not matter if we do what she says' I noticed this on the first day. When I was in my hotel room that night I thought of a cunning plan to get them to listen ... I would threaten them!! ha ha
So yesterday morning I informed them that over the next week I would be running daily reports and that if I saw any errors I would come down on them like a ton of very angry Canadian bricks . I am now hoping this is going to work but not holding my breath.

Part of the problem is that I am just a normal worker ( non management ) and I am basically going into a office and not only telling other normal workers how to sort themselves out but the office manager. How do I do that without making the situation worse??? Not easy is it ?!

So that is what I am doing for the foreseeable future ( no end date has been given to me ) I will keep you up to date on the boringness of my life at present which I am sure will make for thrilling reads for you all
Will attempt to spice it up but its pretty hard to be honest ha ha !!

My successful Attempts of De- Hermitization

I have had successful social attempts at de-hermitting myself, so proud .... So proud.

On Friday I went out with one of my closest friends Mason. Mason is a true gentlemen a star and a genuinely nice and kind person. He is also slightly off kilter and his wife Emma has the patience of a bloody saint as far as I am concerned!

He is also a brilliant painter. I am still pestering him for a Mason Banks painting and I will get one before ai leave this island ! He is 40 well almost 40 ( so love rubbing int he fact that he is almost 40) so yeah he rocks basically.
We went out to Chorlton and promised each other that we would not get pissed that we would be responsible adults. We were out by 4 and halfway to pissed by half 4 !! However we did not get stupid pissed make a full of yourself drunk. It was lovely have to say was really nice to get out with Mason and talk about some seriously mind altering intelligent stuff ( this intelligent talk only happens once and a while for me as otherwise my brain would explode due to overload of info)

Then Saturday came round. I had made the decsion that I would take it easy as I had overloaded myself with social things on Friday and did not want to push my luck. I went to the gym for the first time in a week ( cold = bad bad breathing = no gym what so ever ! ) I went hell for leather and loved every minute of it !! I miss the gym when I am not there. I actually miss the feeling of pushing myself that little bit further each time. Trying to see if I can do better then the previous visit. And that was what I did on this visit suffered for it mind you but loved it.
I got a message from my great gym buddy Tracey saying come over tonight share a bottle and help me pack for the big move . Was very very tempted to say no but gave myself a shake and thought screw it out you go Lou. Jesus had a great time !!! Went to hers had the bottle and then Tracey suggested that we go to the local social club as Colin her husband was behind the bar and well lets face it was bloody cheap as well.
I met Colins mum ..... I was scared honestly terrified . She reminded me of the mother of the bad guys in 'The Goonies' seriously she was scary !!
So yeah for once I had a active weekend was well chuffed with myself . Drank to much but oh well was worth it.

A Few Things I am Hating Right Now ...

I am hating hayfever !!! i have never had such aweful hayfever as I do now. My head feels like it is going to explode. What makes it worse is that I only just got over the deadly cold. I got this false sense of happiness when the cold cleared off last night. Then I woke up this morning and bang welcome to my world Mr Hayfever!!!

I am hating people who do not get back in touch just do normally it does not bother me because I am one of the worst offenders for not calling people back. I leave my phone on silence all the time so I actually miss all my calls ( I know I am now going to get hate mail from various friends and family about this weird tick of mine ) But yeah people who do not get back to you .... Really fucking me off right now

Yep that's about it for now. To be fair there is a hell of a lot more I am hating at present however to avoid opening the 5th dimension of hell and letting it ALL come out I am restraining myself ( does not happen often just so you know )

Fairly sure I am dying

I have a cold.
I am sure this is gods way of natural selection.
I wish to curl up in the fetal position and die right now.
My customers are all making fun of my nasal like tones right now and have absolutely no sympathy
yep I am going to die because of a cold !!
this truly sucks

Things I miss

I miss being 7 again and playing ( or torturing ) my little brother with my little sister.

I miss the smell of the way your Mum washes your cloths. It does not matter how many times you wash it just like she does with the same washing powder and softener and dryer sheets it is never the same...... Trust me I have tried.

I miss the way your Mum can make a boiled egg and soldiers perfectly. You know with the yoke just runny enough and the soldiers the right length and wicth for optimal dipping experience.

I miss being in school !! When I say school I mean kidergarden and grades 1 2 and 3 . These were the grades when school was cool. When you woke up in the morning a little groggy but you knew it was going to be a wicked day because you were going on a cool field trip to a zoo or it was finger painting day, god I loved finger painting day. Work places should introduce these things to relieve office tension I seriously think it would work.

Because I am single there are things I miss when you are with someone. I miss waking up to another person hogging both sides of the bed ( you curse them at the time but when they are gone you miss it or deep down you know it does not bother you all that much )

I miss getting taken out randomly for no apparent reason other then they want your company and attention at that point in time.
( I do not miss cheap dates and guys the make you split the bill note: yes this has happened to me everyone and no it did not last long at all !!!!! )

I miss making breakfast for another person when they stay over and seeing the smile on their face because they know a lot of thought went into it for them.

I do miss my family when I live so far away from them. They drive me mental most of the time even half way across the world they drive me mental. But that is only a fraction of the time the rest they make me laugh and giggle at the antics they get up to.

I miss goofing off with my little brother. He is a giant shit but he is a giant fun shit !!

And finally I do miss my Dad. Even though it is almost 9 years ( I think ) since the old boy bit it and had the big one it feels like only yesterday to be honest. I miss hearing him yell ' Weezy!!!! ' when I knew I was in a little bit of trouble ( not a lot because he used my nickname )
I miss him saying ' Because is not a answer !!' when we back chatted to him.

So yeah I do miss my Dad a lot.

It's about Bloody Time

Just a quick one. Lee , My friendly neighborhood Blog stalker has finally got his poop in a group and set himself up a blog !!!! hurray !!!!
So if you get a chance drop by and harass him endlessly :-) http://hermitslife.blogspot.com/