I Have Returned from the Motherland

Hello all !!! So sorry not been very active on here. I have been in the homeland ( Canada ) and decided that I would not post whilst there as computers remind me of work to be frank!!!

I am going to be short on this post due to fact that I am jet lagged like a bastard right now and fear I may fall asleep and drool on my key board ha ha !!!

But here are some pictures for you all:

I had to put this one on as it is one of the very very if not the only photo I have ever liked of myself was so impressed !!!!

My lovely mum. Had a great time with her and the family and surprise surprise we did not even fight !!!!

My Uncle Murray and my brothers girlfriend the beautiful Amanda

AND FINALLY ....... My not so little brother on the left , George and his best friend and good friend to me as well Ricardo or otherwise known as ' The Latin lover'

Now there are loads more pics which will post over the next little while and tell you all more !!

Great Things

What more can a girl ask for when living in the UK and being Canadian more importantly Edmonton...... England winning there first match of the world cup ( a win is a win guys stop moaning !! )
AND
Edmonton winning game 3 of the Stanley cup final !!!

Yesterday I went to exchange square to watch the mighty lions and loved it. The atmosphere was wicked the weather was amazing and the beer was surprisingly cheap only downside :
SUNBURN !! Even with factor 20 on I was crispy like a duck all you need was the pancakes and hoi sin sauce !

Last night it got better. When I was just about to get to bed I flipped over and low and behold at 1 am that morning the hockey game was on live !!! I set my alarm for 1 am dragged self out of bed and managed to watch the first 2 quarters. I finally thought ' I am fallin asleep here record it you doozy mare ! ' so I did.
I just finished watching the 3rd quarter and jumped wooped and yelled in excitement in the plus 30 weather !!! They won !!! It was wicked !!

Anyway countdown to going home has begun. I have done nothing packed nothing cleaned very little and running out of time but it is just to hot !!
I found a amazing designer bag in TK Max and will likely treat myself ( 20 pounds reduced from 140 !! ) and the old hair is getting a well deserved chop tomorrow as well. So at least I have my priorities straight .... Yeah right !!! But at least I am less then a week from good old Canada and its greatness !

that's about it folks . Off to the center of the universe again *( Bracknell that is ) on Wednesday and Thursday and then fly out Saturday morning
Will keep you all up to date promise !
Lots of love and keep cool in this weather !
COME ON ENGLAND !!!
GO OILERS BLOODY GO !!!!

The Countdown Begins In So Many Ways

Yes it is time for my annually pilgrimage back to the mother land of snow ice and polar bears.

I fly out on the 17th and have to say I am so so looking forward to it!! My best mate Sarah is coming along for the magical mystery tour as well which makes it all the better.
Normally I am overly organized for these trips. You know suitcase packed 3 weeks in advance and feet itching to get on the plane. This time is different. Due to my weekly trips to the center of the world, otherwise known as Bracknell, I have been very limited on time and have organized nothing !! But it will all come right in the end and be fine
So yes look out Canada here I come !!!

* ( big shout out to the oilers !! My hockey team is in the final for the Stanley cup. Although they have lost the first 2 games of a 7 game series we all know they can do it !!
GO OILERS GO!!!!! )

Another major countdown is obviously the world cup, if you do not know that is about to kick off then you obviously live in a cupboard somewhere like a mushroom.
I do want England to do well and I will attempt not to be negative ....However......
I find it very odd that a entire nation and team place all there hopes on the shoulders of one 20 year old who is injured!! If they get over the fact that they may not have Wayne Rooney and just play the game then they may just do well.
First game Saturday I will be watching with bells and whistles at exchange square in center of Manchester with Sarah. Either way I am looking forward to it and can only cross fingers say a little prayer and think positive !!
COME ON ENGLAND BRING IT HOME !!!!! 40 YEARS IS TO LONG TO WAIT !!!

Windsor

Recently I have been traveling to my works office down south in Bracknell ( the center of the world ..... Really its no more like fourth dimension of hell ). Due to the fact that it does not appear Bracknell has any sort of hotel in it I always end up staying outside .... This is good ! Now because of this I have fallen in love with a place down here.... Windsor

I WANT TO LIVE HERE !!!!!

Honestly it is the most lovely pretty place ever. It is quiet, it is calm, there are no scallys ( at least none in sight more then likely locked up somewhere ) It is clean and pretty it is perfect. It is also impossible for me to live here due to the fact that it is fucking expensive people!! Seriously you need to be earning proper money to live here. But for some unknown reason that makes me want to live here even more.

See the thing is every street is full of what I would call my ideal English house: They are all lovely cottages and mill houses. They are all terraced ( I do actually like terraces but only the old ones like here because walls are really thick) They have beautiful sash windows and tiny walled front gardens. They are just damned cute!

Every time I am here I go for a walk around the area and must look like a peeping tomette because I just peer through every window as I walk by ( out of jealousy but also because simply I am one nosey cow )
I just like it here the place is nice plus it helps that it seems to be eternally sunny here as well

oh well grass is always greener on the other side isn't it ?

Crap Telly

I will be the first to admit that I have a slight issue with crap telly. By that I mean I watch it never endingly to a mind numbing point, its a disease I think ?
My family will fully agree with this. While they watch very little TV I watch never endingly. I may not always be watching it. Sometimes it is just background noise in the flat. But if it is particularly crap telly unlike most people I watch it whole heartily.

Does this make me a fool? Stupid? Or a person with no depth ? HELL NO !!! Society has created this type of TV viewing for a reason. For it to be watched and ultimately talked about by the ' water cooler' I believe it was created for a number of reasons but one sticks out most to me. I think the creators of crap telly did to see how long it would take for it to appear in non tabloid papers and one news worthy 'educated' programs. And guess what ? It has everyone !!

The biggest example of this in the UK is Big Brother. I think initially it was the show that was ' looked down upon' a show that is puerile crap and to be fair it was and in most ways still is. But now in its seventh year of running it has broken the mold of tabloid stories and appearing in papers like the independent and The guardian. They are writing serious articles about it and questioning the various issues that are now appearing on this years show.

To me it just proves that society has changed over time to accept these shows as not just ' noise in the background' put it on because there is nothing else to watch. They are watching it to see how human nature works live and uninterrupted ( aside from big brother throwing the housemates the odd curve ball but that's fun) It is bring up some serious issues otherwise not mentioned like bullying, isolation, stress reactions etc. It is no longer crap telly it is good TV viewing. It is enthralling, at times gripping, extremely funny and more importantly extremely sad as well. This show has everything about human interaction in society in one little house in some sound studio in some set lot somewhere in London. It Works.

Now for the fun ... The Housemates! Damn channel 4 has out done themselves this year. As well as sending in the normal ' I am destined to be a page 3 girl or a porn king' they have thrown some really interesting ones in this time. The one that stands out most is Pete. He has tourettes..... Get over it !!! The out cry from the high browed papers that he is being taken advantage of is utterly stupid and if anything insulting to Petes intelligence. He is not stupid he knew what he was doing and what he was going in to and good on him !! The man is bloody marvelous. Aside from that he whistles as one of his ticks and boy he can whistle. Meows when he sees a hot girl ( boy is meowing all the time ) and the best of all he says ' wanker' very randomly to anyone and everyone , irony at its best.

Take a minute watch it guarantee you will get hooked on it

Apparently not that Important after All

I just received my letter advising me of my pay increase before I tell you what they give me here is the history:
I have worked for this company for 2 years and 2 months I have had a total of a weeks ( 7 days sick ) in that time period. I have come in early and left late. I have taken on extra projects such as the one mentioned below and completed them.

They have given me a amazing 456 pound increase. This works out to after tax each month to £28.00
I can safely say I have never felt so under valued insulted and worthless to a employer as I presently feel. My wish to return to Canada leave this place and never look back has just been reaffirmed ifIi could go right now I would. I would get on a plan and fuck off

Yes I am Important ... I think

I have been given a new mission at work: Go sort out the staff in our office down south ( I will not name where down south as I have never named who I work for for fear of it biting me back in the ass so office down south will be known as TSO = The shit office )

When I was given the mission by my big head cheese boss I was thinking hmm piece of piss this mission : make the staff do their jobs the right way , follow procedures stop cocking up etc.

I was wrong

I have spent two days at the TSO and felt as though everything I said to them was listened to but not complete taken on board. I got the feeling that as I was saying all this vital ( and extremely important ) information they were thinking in their heads ' Ah she leaves tomorrow so does not matter if we do what she says' I noticed this on the first day. When I was in my hotel room that night I thought of a cunning plan to get them to listen ... I would threaten them!! ha ha
So yesterday morning I informed them that over the next week I would be running daily reports and that if I saw any errors I would come down on them like a ton of very angry Canadian bricks . I am now hoping this is going to work but not holding my breath.

Part of the problem is that I am just a normal worker ( non management ) and I am basically going into a office and not only telling other normal workers how to sort themselves out but the office manager. How do I do that without making the situation worse??? Not easy is it ?!

So that is what I am doing for the foreseeable future ( no end date has been given to me ) I will keep you up to date on the boringness of my life at present which I am sure will make for thrilling reads for you all
Will attempt to spice it up but its pretty hard to be honest ha ha !!

My successful Attempts of De- Hermitization

I have had successful social attempts at de-hermitting myself, so proud .... So proud.

On Friday I went out with one of my closest friends Mason. Mason is a true gentlemen a star and a genuinely nice and kind person. He is also slightly off kilter and his wife Emma has the patience of a bloody saint as far as I am concerned!

He is also a brilliant painter. I am still pestering him for a Mason Banks painting and I will get one before ai leave this island ! He is 40 well almost 40 ( so love rubbing int he fact that he is almost 40) so yeah he rocks basically.
We went out to Chorlton and promised each other that we would not get pissed that we would be responsible adults. We were out by 4 and halfway to pissed by half 4 !! However we did not get stupid pissed make a full of yourself drunk. It was lovely have to say was really nice to get out with Mason and talk about some seriously mind altering intelligent stuff ( this intelligent talk only happens once and a while for me as otherwise my brain would explode due to overload of info)

Then Saturday came round. I had made the decsion that I would take it easy as I had overloaded myself with social things on Friday and did not want to push my luck. I went to the gym for the first time in a week ( cold = bad bad breathing = no gym what so ever ! ) I went hell for leather and loved every minute of it !! I miss the gym when I am not there. I actually miss the feeling of pushing myself that little bit further each time. Trying to see if I can do better then the previous visit. And that was what I did on this visit suffered for it mind you but loved it.
I got a message from my great gym buddy Tracey saying come over tonight share a bottle and help me pack for the big move . Was very very tempted to say no but gave myself a shake and thought screw it out you go Lou. Jesus had a great time !!! Went to hers had the bottle and then Tracey suggested that we go to the local social club as Colin her husband was behind the bar and well lets face it was bloody cheap as well.
I met Colins mum ..... I was scared honestly terrified . She reminded me of the mother of the bad guys in 'The Goonies' seriously she was scary !!
So yeah for once I had a active weekend was well chuffed with myself . Drank to much but oh well was worth it.

A Few Things I am Hating Right Now ...

I am hating hayfever !!! i have never had such aweful hayfever as I do now. My head feels like it is going to explode. What makes it worse is that I only just got over the deadly cold. I got this false sense of happiness when the cold cleared off last night. Then I woke up this morning and bang welcome to my world Mr Hayfever!!!

I am hating people who do not get back in touch just do normally it does not bother me because I am one of the worst offenders for not calling people back. I leave my phone on silence all the time so I actually miss all my calls ( I know I am now going to get hate mail from various friends and family about this weird tick of mine ) But yeah people who do not get back to you .... Really fucking me off right now

Yep that's about it for now. To be fair there is a hell of a lot more I am hating at present however to avoid opening the 5th dimension of hell and letting it ALL come out I am restraining myself ( does not happen often just so you know )

Fairly sure I am dying

I have a cold.
I am sure this is gods way of natural selection.
I wish to curl up in the fetal position and die right now.
My customers are all making fun of my nasal like tones right now and have absolutely no sympathy
yep I am going to die because of a cold !!
this truly sucks

Things I miss

I miss being 7 again and playing ( or torturing ) my little brother with my little sister.

I miss the smell of the way your Mum washes your cloths. It does not matter how many times you wash it just like she does with the same washing powder and softener and dryer sheets it is never the same...... Trust me I have tried.

I miss the way your Mum can make a boiled egg and soldiers perfectly. You know with the yoke just runny enough and the soldiers the right length and wicth for optimal dipping experience.

I miss being in school !! When I say school I mean kidergarden and grades 1 2 and 3 . These were the grades when school was cool. When you woke up in the morning a little groggy but you knew it was going to be a wicked day because you were going on a cool field trip to a zoo or it was finger painting day, god I loved finger painting day. Work places should introduce these things to relieve office tension I seriously think it would work.

Because I am single there are things I miss when you are with someone. I miss waking up to another person hogging both sides of the bed ( you curse them at the time but when they are gone you miss it or deep down you know it does not bother you all that much )

I miss getting taken out randomly for no apparent reason other then they want your company and attention at that point in time.
( I do not miss cheap dates and guys the make you split the bill note: yes this has happened to me everyone and no it did not last long at all !!!!! )

I miss making breakfast for another person when they stay over and seeing the smile on their face because they know a lot of thought went into it for them.

I do miss my family when I live so far away from them. They drive me mental most of the time even half way across the world they drive me mental. But that is only a fraction of the time the rest they make me laugh and giggle at the antics they get up to.

I miss goofing off with my little brother. He is a giant shit but he is a giant fun shit !!

And finally I do miss my Dad. Even though it is almost 9 years ( I think ) since the old boy bit it and had the big one it feels like only yesterday to be honest. I miss hearing him yell ' Weezy!!!! ' when I knew I was in a little bit of trouble ( not a lot because he used my nickname )
I miss him saying ' Because is not a answer !!' when we back chatted to him.

So yeah I do miss my Dad a lot.

It's about Bloody Time

Just a quick one. Lee , My friendly neighborhood Blog stalker has finally got his poop in a group and set himself up a blog !!!! hurray !!!!
So if you get a chance drop by and harass him endlessly :-) http://hermitslife.blogspot.com/

Drinking By yourself ...Its funny ...Honestly.....

Yesterday was one of those days that made you think ' Yes I love living in the UK!' It was a amazing 27 degrees above here and I was loooovvvviiiinnnngggg it !! Seriously was amazing full sun the works.
By 11 am our office was saying lets screw working call forward all our phones to our mobiles and piss off to the pub BECAUSE IT WAS SO DAMNED NICE !! ( we didn't by the way , we played catch with George Bush note: see previous posts about GWB)

By the time I actually left work I was in a serious mood for a drink but I acted responsibly and went to the gym ( theory being I need to continue to better myself to look better to possibly find a nice decent looking boyfriend oh yeah and for my health) Afet slogging my brains out and running 6 miles !!! woo hoo for me , I made my way to Asda the time sucking 5th dimension of hell and bought the essentials for Gin and tonic. I have the gin due to my mother leaving 2 full bottles after her last visit ( yes it is a family of drinkers and damn proud ! ) I made my way home and poured myself the biggest drink.

Note to self : Never ever ever drink right after working out ever ! See the blood is already rushing round you super fast add booze to the fast passed blood and bingo you are trollied in a bad bad way !!

I sat on the front step of the buiding catching the last of the sun and blending in with locals of whalley Range as I slowly got happy and merry.

And then it happened........

I got so drunk I made my way into the flat and fell asleep on the couch at 6 pm !!! How bad is that !! I woke up 2 hours later forgot I had not eaten but could not be bothered to cook so I ate 3 yogurt's hmmmm I love yogurt right now. Had 1 cup of coffee and thought hey suns still out will have one more small drink. This was my second error as it was the second round of drinking that put me in the ' I live by myself I am single .... OH MY LORD MY LIFE IS SHIT ! Mode'

So in conclusion do not drink after the gym, do not drink alone, do not have a second round of drinks but do enjoy the sun do have the drink ( only one ) and drink it slowly as well.

Politics .... Yep broaching a subject normally avoided and Left to My little Sister to Deal With

Oh my good lord for the first time in 5 years the political realm of the UK has become interesting to me.

So firstly it turns out that loads of convicted immigrants have been allowed to slip back into British society rather then slapping their thieving killing asses on the first flight back to their own country. How ?!? That is all I have to say on that How!

Secondly Patricia Hewitt announced that the last year was the best year ever for the NHS ... Is the women on crack !!??? How can she say that ?? No answer it was a stupid thing to say ( I have a theory it is her dodgy freaky hair that makes her say these things ) But god love the nurses ! They had a big convention 2 days after the stupid statement and Ms. Hewitt decided in her infinite wisdom to go and talk to these people and tell them to wise up and stop complaining effectively??? So shocked she was not shot on the spot by the rioting nurses ha ha!!

Then the best thing ever happened ! John Prescott ( deputy prime minister) announced he had been having a affair with his diary secretary!! This is a picture of the married cheating bastard. Once you look at the picture you will see why this was so so so funny to find out about:

Do you see why now ????? He is one ugly mofo !!

Even better though was the comment from the fiancee of the women he cheated with : ' I can't believe the person I was going to marry was sleeping with JOHN PRESCOTT!!!!!!!'

Personally if I was that guy ( no I am not a male and nor do I wish to be ) I would seek serious help to figure out where I was going wrong to drive my fiancee to sleep with John Prescott ??

There I have dived as far as I will go into the world of politics ( Be proud of me everyone )

YES ITS FINALLY WORKING !!!!

yes i know there are 2 entries with virtually the same shit in them but they both took time to write so they are both staying there !! so there

So Not Making a Effort !!

Right this morning I spent ages writing out a post about how my sister was concerned about my hermit like habits of late. She then made a sweeping comment about making new friends. The post did not publish !!!!! so I am not making the effort to re type the whole damn freakin thing again. All I have to say is how exactly do I make new friends ?!?!?!?!?! I am usless at that I am actually a withdrawn person around people I do not know I get nervous and edgy I worry that I will say a terminally stupid thing ( this happens to me frequently )

I will say however I do understand the family concern over the hermit lifestyle at present and I will attempt to make a effort to think about making a effort to de - hermit myself promise.


LESBIAN UPDATE :

Either they are both back or one has a new girlfriend and jesus were they making up for lost time last night !! Seriously you would have thought they had been in a nunary for the last 20 years and the end of the world was coming the way they were going. I have no idea how to rectify this situation now. I have already left a note for them a polite nice note. What do I do leave a note reading :

STOP FUCKING !!!!!

not very neighbourly that is it or very polite either ??????

The Need To Get out More

Yes I know I need to get out more !!! I was told last night by my little sister that I need to get out more and make new friends !! It was like being in high school again. Honestly it is not easy when you are 27 to just make ' new friends'

I then started to think how the hell do I make new friends ??? I may come across as a fairly confident person at times but seriously I am not. Really I get nervous around people I do not know, I get edgy in larger crowds. I get the fear inside when in a crowd ' is everyone looking at me thinking , look at her standing there talking to NO ONE !!!! ' So to go out and make new friends is not easy for me at all.

I have found lately that I have become more and more reclusive. This has not been forced upon me. I have just decided sub consciously that I do not want to be social I like to be by myself I like not having to be nice to other people. But then on the other hand when I am alone I start to think ' oh my god my life sucks and I need to do something!!'
Its basically a catch 22 when you think about it.

So as much as I hate to say it or admit it Alex may be right. Maybe I do need to make more new friends. I have absolutely no idea how to do this but yes do need to make some and soon or being a hermit will become a permanent fixture in my damn life !! Any suggestions ???

( apologies for this very random ramble )
Note : Alex do not tell me again how crap my writing has been lately I do realize this it wil lget better I promise !!!

They are Back !!! Or at least One Is

Yes the lesbian (s) are back. Not both though only one of them , the blonde one. So now I have a number of conspiracy theories:
1. The blonde has killed the brunette
2. The brunette has run of with a fellow brunette
3. The brunette was so sick of the blonde and feeling ' a lack of appreciation' she topped herself
4. The fat cat ' Charlie ' clawed her to death as he was jealous and wanted in on the action


further updates to follow

OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GET OUT OF HERE NOW !

Now I say I need to get out now !! I will soon get so bad that I will have a calendar with X's marking the days off unil I permently leave this over priced tiny little island.

My romantic notions of living in a foreign country are now completely out of my system. I have done what I came to do ( cause mayhem and reek havoc on the UK being two of them )

Honestly if it were at all possible I would actually go home now but alas it is not. I have to pay my car off another year of that, I do need to save some sort of money up to go home which if you know me is slightly impossible.

I have however been doing my homework and research in to the big migration back to the mother land of snow and ice.

I firstly have looked into my cat coming home and how much it will cost and was pleasantly surprised. Basically I have gone on the government website back home and because the UK is on the list of non rabies countries I only need a certificate from a government vet saying Cleo is not a rabid and crazed beast ( I will have to drug him for this as most will think he is rabied ha ha ).
I have also found out that it is not nearly as expensive as I had originally thought to fly him !!!
Air Canada only charge $150 one way so like £75.00 I was expecting at least £200 to £300 so was happy.

Have looked into international movers to ship stuff home and found one that will ship 2 largish boxes for £174.00 which is awfuleful. So yes the ball is rolling now. Also my best friAmandanada has agreed to let me rent a room from her for the last 2 -3 months so that I can sell off everything I want to sell including my bed and that way I do not have to woaboutbotu that eithSo. so leIst i have that to look forward to.

I wadmitmitt that yes I have been slightly depressed of late and have been terribly horribly homesick. I think the word depressed though is a stupid word because I am not depressed slash my wrist pray the world ends depressed. I am just really down and want to go hthat'shats it plain and simply

The Weekend and Updates on the Updates

I would love to one day come on here and post this amazing post about my amazing and totally wicked awesome weekend...... But that is never going to happen as I have decided I am a hermit and I live a sheltered life kinda like a mushroom.

This weekend consisted of the following : Cat waking me up and stupid bastard 6 am on Saturday. At first I thought it was because I had not fed him but turns out there was food water and a clean litter tray. He just wanted attention some what like all males in this world. Went to the gym and flogged myself there. Honestly it was the hardest work out I have ever done no idea why I struggled but christ I did. To top of the uneventful day I placed 8 bets on the grand national race. I had a theory that the more bets I placed the more likely my horse would make it around the 4 mile course and 31 jumps. 3 of the 8 fell at the first fence, their blown out of the water. But I did get extremely excited as I had placed a bet of £1.00 each way on a horse called Inca Trail.Afterr the last jump he was in fourth and I lost it in my living room screaming at the telly. If he placed fourth I would have gotroughlyy 60 pounds !!!!! ........ He placed fith.... I was depressed and vowed never to bet on the ponies again.

The most exciting bit of my weekend was rearranging my bedroom.That'ss right folks I was excited and made up that I had done this.Itt was so nice I just wanted to go to bed then and there.

So there is the weekend ...Itt sucked ...Lifee kinda sucks .....Ohh well


Update on Update Number One :

I am still trying to quit smoking I will be honest and say I have the odd one but I am still trying hard. Work is easy and have no issues there. Driving in the car is not a problem anymore. However being home by myself on weekends particularly is fucking difficult !!! It did not help this weekend that I ran out of my little plastic pockets of heavensmotheredd innicotinee. I attempted to suck the life out of my inhaltor but damn I wanted to kill myself by Sunday night.

Update on the Lesbians :

THE ARE STILL GONE !!!! I HAVE PROPERLY DRIVEN THEM AWAY!! I AM SCARED OF MY OWN POWERS !! Honestly folks there has not been a peep from that flat . I am begining to worryaboutu them now. Maybe my letter hasdrivenn them to a noisy lesbiansuicidee pact maybe they have joined a cult........Orr more logically maybe they are just on holiday ....Noo they have joined the damned cult I know they have ...Alongg with their big fat cat Charlie ( wonder if he is a gay cat ???? )