I QUIT !

Yep have taken the leap, have done the much needed dirty deed ..... I officially have quit smoking today.

I have been to my GP and been given all sorts of things. Currently I have a patch on my arm and wow this shit is like happy juice.... Heaven in a little rubber patch !! Honestly it has made me all light headed and I have had no fag cravings all morning. I have gone from smoking 24 fags a day to having 2 today !!!! How amazing. And when I had the last one I didn't even finish the thing as just was no interested at all.

So proud of myself!!.

Update on the move back to the mother land:
Sarah has done one of those ' will we let you into Canada or are you a lay about non working social sucker ?' She did 2 tests one as if she had a job to go to and she was a god as far as the Canadian goverment was concerned on a big score of 84 and then she was truthful and did one as if she did not have a job to go to but she still managed to scrape through. So things are looking up now.

I am even more excited at the prospect of going home then I ever was. I keep looking round my flat thinking oh my good god I have to sell most of this how in the world will I ?? See I am a pack rat or more like a person that cannot let things go.

I have also tried to sit down and have a serious discussion with the cat , Cleo, about his impending journey ina year and half but for some reason he keeps chasing his own tail and does not seem interested in what I have to say ..... God knows why !

So there you go. I am going to go back to obsessing about my lack of cigarette in my hand and slap on another rubber circle bit of heaven ( the patch )
bye all :-) x

Home is Calling Me

Well I have made a major decision. I am going home. It is time to return to the great white north once and for all.

Now I am not going home immediately but between the next 18 months and 2 years. There were a huge amount of factors that brought this decision to a head as they say.

The biggest one being is that I miss home. Enough is enough and it is time to return. I have done what I came here to do and that was to grow up gain some independence and be adult as they say. I think I gained that and have grown up drastically.

I miss my family and the comfort of having them about. Think being away for the 5 years has made me realise how much I need to appreciate them. Even though George is a arrogant shit and a giant pain in the ass he is alright for a little brother.
And Mum is someone I miss most to be honest ( do not let that go to your head mum!!! ) but I do get on so so much better with her now and that makes a big difference.

The decision actually though came to finalization because of Sarah my best mate. She sent me a text a few weeks ago very randomly asking how to go about working in Canada. Turns out she wants to go over. After many discussions by phone email and text it became a very real thing.
There would be nothing better then Sarah coming over with me. Canada is her type of place, she would blend in there and settle amazingly well. So we have both made the decision to start laying plans out to go home for me and a new place for her.

IT ALL ROCKS !!!!!!!!! CANNOT WAIT !!!

I am going to also bring the cat with me as well. This should be very interesting as considering this cat has not seen much of the outside world dragging him halfway across the world should really freak him out. But to be truthful I could not leave him behind. He has been a constant companion for me for the last 2 years. As much as he drives me round the bend and for all my moaning I do actually love him to bits and he is such a amazing feline.

So there you go homeward bound for me all and here is what I am going back to :

view of Edmonton City Center Sky Line

Jasper ..... Heaven to a skier ... I cannot wait to be able to go skiing again asap !!

City center , town hall and Winston Churchill Square

And finally most importantly home the place I love and grew up !!!

I am a Bad Blogger I know Ok !!

Yes before you comment or say anything I know I am a bad bad blogger for not posting much in the last few days ... But I am back. Have been properly told off by my sister who left a comment of ' update your blog you wanker !!!' sisterly love is a great thing. There is a mutual respect between us. She calls me a wanker I call her a world dominating Devil women... It works well.

Anyway what have I been up to ... Not much really. I did go to a concert with my best friend Sarah. We went to Jack Johnson and LOVED IT !!!!! It was by far the best concert I have ever been to and so did not want it to end. I recommend to anyone out there if Jack comes to your town spend the money and go and enjoy !!! On top of being a amazing artist he is also the hottest man on the face of the earth !!!! He is what I would want to marry in a instant !! Stunning and amazing and so so so damn hot !!!!!

Other then that it has been a uneventful couple of days really. I did however get to post a comment about my mother on DOOCE website which is cool. Considering Dooce never opens her comments I was not letting the opportunity slip past me to do that. She had posted about mothers that stays at home and the choice. I went on a rant !! I told the world how my Mum worked as did my Dad and it was in no way detrimental to me and if anything it helped me! So yeah think I was like comment 950 out of roughly 2000 ! ha

I am still trying to find a flat mate to move into a new place with ( any takers ?!?!?! Begging now !! ) but have yet to find someone. All I do know is desperately need to move to save same money as I am poor !!! I have entered my name on a load of websites so hopefully something will come of that never know.

Oh yeah and for this first time in my smoking life I am now considering quitting for good. I have made a appointment at the doctors and going to give this a go .. Wish me luck but do not expect miracles ... After 14 year ( yes 14 years ) of smoking I think there may be more then one attempt to kick the cancer sticks. Will let you know how I am doing

Anyway enough rambling speak to you all soon promise to have a better more interesting post next time.

George Bush: The spongy Yellow WMD

In our office we have a couple of those sponge stress ballthings. Ours are all different shapes and sizes such as a cable drum and a star trooper as well from star wars. But by far the weirdest one is a sponge yellow figure of George Bush ! Odd I know so very strange !!!! This is him:

Now I realize you are now looking at this yellow blob and thinkg ' looks nothing like George W' but it is. See I tried to poke his eyes out with a pencil and it did not work. Then I tried to rip his head off his shoulders and it would not come off. So we just decided to color on his face and now we think he looks like Fidel Castro.

Seriously he is like a cockroach nuclear war would not kill this thing ( believe me as above we have tried )

Anyway most people squeeze or play with these things to relieve stress . Do they do that in my office ........

hell no !!!! We chuck them at each other as hard as humanly possible then roll around on the floor in fits of laughter at the other persons pain.

I did this today and loved it !! Normally I could not hit the broadside of a barn door ... Today was different. Today I went right up to the person ( he fully desvered this for what he had said ) and hurled it at him at high speed. I was aiming for the back of his head but some how I managed to hit him square in the ear. Honestly was the funniest thing I had seen all day. It was pure stress relief !!!!

So I recommend to anyone rather then squeezing these stupid things .. Chuck em !! Chuck em hard and fast it is so much fun and the stress just disappears instantly !!!

So hence George being the WMD of the office.

( George is slightly melted now on the back of his head due to be left on the radiator over night )

There is my tip for the day everyone . Chuck a George around and the day will right its self instantly for you all :-)

Things to thank my Parents for ( all said sarcastically)

I have many things to thank my parents for. Before I continue this post I do have to make it clear that there are many many good things I am grateful for but damn the following I blame all on them:

1 . Thanks is given to them for the fact that I am a routine based person. You may be thinking , nothing wrong with a bit of routine. Well there is!!! I do the exact same thing every single morning : alarm goes off shut alarm off ( never have I hit snooze in my life ) feed the cat watch the news have a shower blow dry hair put makeup on straighten hair leave house at exactly 6:52 am . This happens almost every moring. On the odd occasion the routine is broken or disturbed the whole day is then completely screwed !! I blame this onto he military style up bringing !! There were no free spirit hippy like people in my family there was logic and organization and because of this I am routine based. All their fault.

2. My inability to be tidy!! Seriously I blame this on my lovely parents completely as well!! When I was a kid every Saturday was room inspection day( yes I know you are all laughing now but my sister Alex will vouch for this ritual) we used to stand by our beds and wait for it to be inspected for the week. I once prayed to god that if he made Dad pass my room as spotless that I would play golf with him every day when I got up to heaven ( yes I thought god played golf as a child and my logic behind this was I was so bad at golf god would love me as he would always win ) Dad did not pass me that day . My faith in God faltered at the age of 10. When I moved out it was like the chains of tidiness had been broken and all ability to be tidy disappeared. Why do I blame them for this ?? Because I believe if they had been less rigid witht he clean thing I would not have this natural aversion to it all. Every Sunday I clean my flat kitchen bathroom the works and it looks great .... By Tuesday it looks like 20 wild children have lived there. I am useless at it

3. I blame them for my constant worrying about money. I think this may be a gentitic thing as it seems to be a Taylor family trait. Honestly when I get paid I do not jump for joy I go into panic mode and start thinking about how I could be living on the streets by the end of the month . In actual fact I manage to make it through every single month and never slept on the streets yet. My mum is a natural worrier with money and I believe she has passed this on to me


And finally I blame my parents for this :

Who does this to their child !!!!!!!! My parents did !!! Honestly I was destined to be screwed for life relationship wise when they made me wear that T-shirt saying ' future fox' it was like tempting fate. And then to top it off record it in photo form for all to see in the future !!! Plus it cannot be a good sign when your Dad's mustache actually covers half his face.

So I blame them for this damn picture !!!! Why !!!!????

Delay and a thought

Very short post for you all ( sorry ) first thing I lied no pic today as it was to big and my I.T wizard here at work is taking it home with him to make it small to post it fingers crossed tomorrow all ...Believe me worth the wait !!


Second thought ... Brace yourselves everyone : I HATE VALENTINES DAY HATE IT HATE IT HATE IT HATE IT HATE IT HATE IT HATE IT HATE IT HATE IT


...... DESPISE IT
what a stupid stupid day. ( of course if was not single I would more then likely be singing a different tune ha ha )

till tomorrow

Again far to lazy to think of a good title for this post sorry

Well another week begins. This is a slightly different week due to the fact that it is Valentines day tomorrow. Fingers crossed we do not get any of the sickly sweet stuff going on here in the office. You know flowers delivered chocolates blah blah blah . This is of course spoken as any single person speaks. Valentine's day is like the anti christ to singles through out the world.
We all say things like its not even a real holiday sort of day or the businesses of the world have created it. You know the things we single people say all play down to the fact that yeah were single.
It is a weird strange and as far as I am concerned pointless and stupid day ! There said my single persons piece on Valentines day.

Right next thing : I LOVE THE WINTER OLYMPICS !! Seriously I do. I have spent the entire weekend watching a huge amount of winter sports. I have watched from Downhill skiing to Nordic cross country and loved every second of it . Yes I know sad pathetic really boring but it makes me happy so shut up ok ?! But the ultimate highlight was Jennifer heil won gold medal for Canada in the freestyle moguls. She was amazing fantastic and unbelievable to watch and desvered that metal like nobody's business !! What makes it better is she is from my neck of the woods ( Spruce grove Alberta) my brother knows her and once had a major crush on her I believe I believe I have met her once but cannot be sure. But she was great and a big up to her for doing it at only 22 years old ! http://www.cbc.ca/Olympics/sports/freestyleskiing/

Also this weekend I went to a friend of mines , Pete and his wife Wendy, grand opening of their new venture Bar Bibo in Northerden. I could see this being deadly for me as I loved the place and was so relaxed there. So yeah deadly as can see myself being there very often at this rate !!!

Right that's it. Heads up for tomorrow : baby pic of me should make you laugh or scream with fear ... You will see why

Girls and Boys

Girls and boys are funny old creatures it has to be said. They are so freakishly similar but polar opposites at the same time. I would say this bothers me and confuses me as well.

I have never understood the great divide between the two sexes or how it came about. Why is it that men react to a situation one way and women a complete opposite way
Example:
Pipe bursts in kitchen
Mans Reaction: hmmm pipes burst well I will have another can of beer and then go over pretend to be a plumber and attempt to fix it myself. All the while the kitchen is flooding. There is no reaction to the fact that the floor is flooding there is no sense of panic ( this is probably due to the fact that they have just finished the 5th can of beer and it is only 1:00 in the afternoon) so the reactions of a male in this situation are two : firstly they have the ' ego' the I can fix this and I will do it in my own time even if my women is screaming at me in the background. Secondly they just do not care !!!! Ever !!!

women's Reaction : Firstly we run around screaming to begin with ( yes I know not all women do this physically but all women do this mentally in there brain) then we do the appropriate thing and call a professional !!! A actual plumber boys, someone who knows how to fix the problem. We turn the water off at the main and whilst waiting for the plumber we clean up the mess. We do this all while you sit oblivious to everything watching the football and cracking your 6th can of beer open saying ' need any help hun ?' we scream no ( the scream should have been your warning that something terrible is happening and your dull male instincts should kick in to help the female ....They don't ) Plumber arrives pipe fixed kitchen clean and the man works his way to the 7th can. There is one reaction from a women in this situation : LOGIC !! We logically clean up logically call the plumber and most logically do not ask for assitance from the drunk male on the couch !!!

So you see this confuses me. We are both the same make up we are both logical thinking beings and we both have brains and some intelligence ( lots or little ) yet we do things so differently!! Yes it would be a boring world if everyone reacted the same way to every situation. But to the major incidents in our lives it would be so much easier if we could flip a switch at the point of mayhem and react identically. I think if we could do that there would be less spousal murder less divorce and generally less aggravation in the world
Am I being naive ... yep most definitely and have I lived by myself for to long to not realize how a male female daily relationship works ... Probably. But I stand by what I say life would just be easier if men and women were more similar. If we reacted to things the same way

( yes I know this is a random if not somewhat strange post ... Deal with it ok ? :-)

Translations

Last night someone laughed at something I said and the thing I said was not very British what so ever. In fact it got me thinking after the conversation there are a lot of things I say that are not very British at all. Here are a few some will have translations :

Walking like a drunk hooker on skates = can be taken in so many ways such as nope I cannot skate . Yes it is true I have no Co-ordination what so ever

Ass Monkey = just a damned good insult in my books kinda like wanker in a strange way

butt head = just a dick head basically

hoser = a complete loser ' used in a sentence like the following ' don't be such a hoser man'

deke out = from hockey terminology meaning just nipping out be back soon basically the jock hockey players started it and it has caught on

Think that hoser is one of my favorites good solid insult

There are so so many more that evade me right now if you think of any though let me know.
right

' deke out ' kinda sorta you know I will be back eventually !!

Patience

Patience ...... What a stupid bloody word !!!
honestly there is logic behind what I say here so hear me out ok


When someone says to you ' Just be patient' and you are already in a inflamed state of mind what is the first thought that pops into your head ? My first thought ( and I am sure it is not just mine ) is : ' Just be patient ....I will just be patient you freak !!!! I have no desire to be bloody patient stop saying that to me !!!!!!!' Seriously it makes the situation worse.
Whether it is at work and you are trying to sort out a particularly pain in the ass problem or at home and trying to assemble Ikea book selfs patience does not ever work ! All you get as a out come of all this patience is a passive aggressive person on the brink of a complete melt down that will likely be directed at you.


I get this on a daily basises in my line of work. I have to deal with the Dutch every day. Let me tell you any pre conceived notions you may have had about them lotbeing eternally high peace lovin kicked back sort of people is completely and utterly wrong!! To get one thing actioned by these people does not take patience it involves threatening them with their lives and the lives of their families. It involves calling them every 5 minutes for 8 hours and after those 8 hors of having a phone glued to your ear you still have nothing. Patience does not exist in this world of work

Then there is patience in personal life . If a mother says to a daughter ' patience dear the right man will come along in his own time' come of it !!!! it does not work that way at all mothers !!! You should know this for gods sakes. I know that it does not exist. I am 27 and I will happily say that yes I would like the right one to finally show his damn face ask me to marry him and get it bloody over with Patience is not a virtue and most defiantly not one of my virtues.


When I drive I am impatient, when talk I am inpatient, when I queue up am damned impatient etc


So there is your warning all I have no patience I never desire to have this so called quality as I do not believe it to be one. I believe that it only hinders you in life turns you into a emotional mush ball and makes you have no balls. Life is about grabbing it being impatient and yep having balls to be impatient. Buck the trends people be what they out there consider abnormal .....BE IMPATIENT !!!!

ALL I HAVE TO SAY IS .......

God damn I need a drink !!!!
take that statment however you wish !!
drink....large big drink !!!!

Single

You know being single is one of those funny things that some people react badly to and some thrive on. I think I am one of the ones that is in the middle of all that.

I like being single for the fact that you do lead your own life you do not have to worry about consequences and the effects of your decisions and behavior.


On the flip side being single has the ability to make you feel eternally lonely. Like you will never find that other person and no matter what you do to assist the process it never freakin works !!!

Last night I was watching this show called ' The real Sex and The City' Basically it is set in New York and it follows round a load of different women on the dating scene of New York. Now this show was either created to make women across the world feel like shit and useless or it was created for you to point and laugh at and say ' sad cow' at the same time!

Honestly these women on this show are the lowest of the low on the moral's playing field !! They boast about dating 6 men at once. They complain how they get confused by who they are meant to be going on a date with ( no wonder !!!) and to top it all off the feel horrible about the fact that they cannot find a meaningful relationship. COME ON !! You stupid American cows !! You cannot find a meaningful relationship because you are dating six guys at once, you are not satisfied with just one ( greedy or what ), you do not actually have any desire to settle down and you probably could not define let alone spell meaningful !!!
Seriously I went to bed last night muttering stupid bitches to myself ( the cat was a bit disturbed by this outburst)

I was looking at my sisters blog today and strangely enough she was talking about a similar subject. Basically rating which nationality would be best to date . I have to share with you her description of a British man priceless and pretty much bang on : British - more mamma's boys. Not as bad as the Italians, but at least the Italians know to take you out for a nice dinner on a date and don't count going Dutch at the pub as 'a good night out.' how bang on is that ?!?!?!?!? I was so so impressed with that. If you ant to see the rest have a look http://alexandrataylor.blogspot.com/
Right random daily rant is now finished :)

Getting Older and Wiser

You know as time goes by you begin to realize that you have grown up. That you are no longer the precocious cjild, teenager or young adult you once were. You are a fully fledged adult. When you were that snot nosed attitude driven kid you used to think' never be like those adults !!! '

guess what .... Everyone becomes once of those adults. It is the law of nature and all things possible.

Today was having a conversation with Emma ( friend/workmate) and at the end of it decided I may very well be a 80 year old trapped in a 27 year olds body !!! We were talking about how now rather then go out on a Saturday night getting blind drunk and stumbling in at 3 ish in the morning we would love to get in a bath and soak the night away. I now realized I would much rather prefer going out on a Saturday afternoon getting merry in a beer garden and then going home 7 ish have a good meal and pass out, safe in the knowledge that I WILL NOT HAVE A HANGOVER!!

Please do not get me wrong I love a great night out but what I do not like anymore is every night out. It loses the novelty and the enjoyment. We also decided that this was something for some unknown reason we thought or at least speaked about as a bad thing ?! Then we thought its not !!! It is a natural progression of growing older and yes wiser.

I think of the practical things now whilst doing the illogical things I know how to do best!!!
Do I miss my precocious and attitude driven youth ???? Maybe just a tiny little bit. But I do love the fact that I can think about things in a well mannered process for example :

Get drunk in the afternoon make sure you are in bed by 7 though and drink water = no hangover!! No dehydration to the point of not actually being able to blink and generally feeling human

This to me is getting older and a little wiser

P.S before you ask no I do not have a drink problem !!!

The weekend Breakdown

Morning all :) Happy new week to you all ( yeah really I am not all that happy it is Monday but someone has to pretend don't they ? )

So yeah my weekend ..... oh the excitement..... yeah not really that exciting.
Sometimes I wish I could come on here on a Monday morning and write about this fantastic memorable weekend I just went through. Tell witty stories, Burble on about the itellectual things I have done and the exciting people I met .... Never going to happen at this rate. Have the social life of a snail... Mostly my own doing to be fair !

So yeah Saturday I had a mission to go and do the boxing training that my gym was holding and well I never. There were 2 reasons for this first one being as follows. I recently told someone I just met that this was my plan for Saturday morning along with going out on Saturday evening. The text I go back read as follows:
Un-named person: Well least I know you can handle yourself in the bar then if there is any trouble
( kinda read like that can't remember exact words but you get the meaning of it )

This freaked me out on so so so many levels !!! I have come to the conclusion that I would rather others would not know me as the ass beating girl who can handle herself ( not very femine really is it ?? )
Second reason is that well ... I was to damn lazy for that excitement.
I did go to the gym and did do my work out though for a hour and a freakin half !!!! 6 miles later and 400 sit ups later ( this tummy will tighten up if it is the last damn thing I do ) My legs were like rubber when I got in the are. Sure sign you have done a good work out : You have troubles shifting your car !!
Right now the evening, my lovely best mate Sarah had me round for a lovely ( healthy dinner) was nice to just spend time with her tell her all that has been going on in recent days and just well have a great time. We went out for a drink in West Didsbury and were surrounded by pretentious assholes for the majority of the night. You know the kind, 30 years old have a bit of money behind them and think they are something special . When in actuality their mother is hooked on dope there sister has just been knocked up for the second time ... She is only 17 and you grew up in the shittiest area known to man. God they drove us mad !!

Sunday was boredom at its worst. Gym - home - couch - sleep - wakeup - back to sleep and so on and so forth . You can see Sunday was highly productive. Saying that I baked for some unknown reason. " apple pies , 1 lot of brownies and a Banana bread later I reckoned the manic baking had to stop - baking - stop - back on the couch - asleep

Oh the excitement !

Life and a Rant as well

You know life is a funny thing. By funny I mean the way it works out and just ' ticks over'. The way sometimes it all goes brilliantly well for you on one day and by the next you want to find either the fast bullet train to jump infront of or the tallest building to leap off to just end it all !!

Life has been a veritable thing of ups and downs for me over the last little while. You know this from previous post and other things as well I have not mentioned and won't just now but promise to a little later. I would not say I have been depressed but I would say that I have been confused by what direction I want my life to go in. And now I am slowly starting to figure it out. I have made some big changes recently and little ones and wow holy shit do those change make a difference on how you look and react to things.
I still do want to go home to Canada eventually but have decided I need to get a clear plan in my head to do this and figure it out logically ( yes all you who know me know I am not logical and anything I tend to do has not plan nor make any sense to be fair)
Also I have decided that I defiantly need to move sooner then later. Number of reasons for this. The biggest damn one being this : MY DAMN BOILER KEEPS BREAKING and if any one person leaves a comment reading ' your Canadian you should be used to it' I will hunt you down and probably stab you in the eyes and stick you in a freezer to see how I have been feeling in my ice box for the last week ( fair play probably would not stab you in the eyes just not nice that ) Seriously I got home from circuit training on Tuesday and the minute I walked in my flat my leg muscles seized up and screamed up to my brain ' WHY WHY WHY ?!?! I called the emergency man who never turned up. Even the cat was cold he tried to drag off my hot water bottle.
And then last night the exact same thing happened !!!! Came in from the gym, got hit by a ice block of cold air and promptly dropped to the ground to stop my legs from twitching to death ( was not quick enough and was hobbled for the rest of the night)
The boiler alone is enough to drive someone out but there are other things as well. I need to have some sort of daily human interaction. The cat , Cleo/leo , can only offer so much bloody entertainment, which mainly consists of me putting tape on the end of his tail and watching him run round to get it ( trust me I am not being cruel he loves it and looks for the tape roll when I am on the couch ok ! ) But also financially damn it is costing way to much to rent living by yourself !!!!

Right life changing rant over now everyone ....Sorry had to be done


Now for the daily rants: Today it is a thank you day so here we go :
Thanks to the lady in the silver golf who this morning thought it would be funny to ride up my ass as we were driving into work at 7 in the morning ... Honestly either you learn how to drive or next time we stop at a light I am going to take your keys away !! No one should be that eager to get to work in the morning !!
Thanks to the boiler man who said ' sorry Louisa I did not get your message the other night about your broken boiler' yeah right fool !!! I know you did because I got a return receipt from the text message I sent you and when I called the first time it rang second time you turned your phone off....You try freezing your ass off and then realizing it is actually warm outside then in your damn flat ... Bastard !
Thanks to the guy at Tescos's who did not mention the fact that my fly was undone even though the only reason I realized it was undone was due to the fact that you were looking at it !! ... And you expect me to continue to shop at your shitty shop ... Yeah right ( note : yes this is the second time this has happened to me at this Tescos and yes written about the first time previously)
Thanks to the builders next door for the early wake up call on Saturday ... For Christ sakes guys ever thought that some people do have social lives on Friday nights and god damn have a thumping hangover on Saturday mornings and do not need to listen to you lot banging away !!! Cheers !!!

right I am done now anger let out now feel better and the purple shade to my features is gone now.
speak to you later comment away if you wish !

NEW !!! Weekly recommendations

I have recently decided to do something new on my blog. Now I accept the fact that I more then Likely have minimal readership due to lack of comments. But I do not give a fuck so there I am doing this and this is my new thing:
Each week I am going to recommend things not entirely sure what as of yet and I think it will be different things each week from books to food to things to do. Hopefully just maybe or by the faintest chance someone will find it good or useful or they will find it pants and never come back ha ha ! So here we go people :

THIS WEEKS RECOMMENDATIONS
Firstly I am currently addicted to my new Jack Johnson CD

I do realize he has been around for some time now however I only got into him recently when I heard track 11 off this album ' Breakdown' I knew I would like it straight away.

It is the perfect album for sitting back and relaxin to. Good for in the car when you have some 90 year old doing 20 miles an hour in front of you for no apparent reason other then they should not be behind the damn wheel, it relaxes you!

So fully recommend you buy it listen to it and then pass it on to a friend really good.

Books hmmmm god do I love my books I cannot sleep at night even if I have been on the drink without attempting to read something. There are so so many books I want to mention but will start with my all time favorite series. My mum introduced me to this years ago and have been hooked ever since. Reading some of the books 2 times over. It is called the outlander series and very hard to describe effectively to you but will make it brief. There are 5 books in the series increasing in size with each one. Do not kid yourself if you think you can read these in a week because you cannot ok.

Basically it goes like this: set in Scotland women goes near weird cirdle of stones and then BANG she is back in time. She goes back to I think 1600's or so right smack into the middle of the jacobite wars between the English and Scottish. Forced to marry Scot and goers from there she is a doctor which makes it more intereresting. Honestly do not judge by my description look it up. Really is gripping and keeps you sucked in from beginning until end. Promise you.

Food: Hmm how I love food and god how I love cooking it as well. Bit hard to do when you live by yourself. You tend to make mass amounts of things and then you are eating the same damned thing day in and day out just because you made the damn stuff. I do not have anything specific to recommend but I do have this to say.

BAKE !!!! Not enough people bake anymore it is a dying art form as far as I am concerned. People seem scared of it for no reason at all. So dammit people bake something this weekend !!!

exercise... Some of you may know least friends and family will, that since February last year I went on a big lose weight get fit campaign and well almost a year later here are the results: I have lost just under 5 stone ( 67 pounds for non English people ) I have gone down 4-5 dress sizes and well I have to say damn I am looking better then ever did. I go to the gym 5 - 6 times a week now and actually love it. Now my recommendation is this : circuit training !!! I just started it for the first time 2 weeks ago and had my second session last night. PAIN !!! But completely worth every ache and pain. Try it at least twice because if you just go the once you will only think of it as painful by the second time it is not nearly as bad.

So that's all it may be a bit lame but makes me feel useful for 5 minutes and well I do it for me so if you do not like it get stuffed :) Will think of more things to recommend next week. Basically it is a excuse to ramble on to my self and feel important. Just play along with me ok ?? Pretty please ?? Bye x

Home and then other things as well

Recently I have thought about returning to Canada in the future more and more. Now my mother does not know this but obviously she will now ha ha ! But yeah in all seriousness it has been a thought that has not only crept into my mind but firmly implanted itself there. I am not talking about picking up and leaving in a few months but maybe in the next 2 years I may want to. I mentioned this to my sister Alex who promptly asked me ( and more then likely correctly ) ' make sure there are no debt collectors after you ?!' yeah she is right should make sure they have stopped chasing me.


You ask what has brought this on? A lot has to be honest. Obviously having all my family here over the holidays did open my eyes up to what I am missing most plus it also made me realize I lead a very solitude life otherwise. So it just made me think how much more I enjoy my mum and bro and sis now. The fact that I really really enjoy spending time with mum but knowing I will only get smacked once and a while rather then all the time for stupid behavior makes it worth it in itself !!!

The other big factor has been goings on at work which to protect my own ass I cannot discuss. Without saying to much, if I were to stop working at my present employer I know for a fact I would not be able to get a wage that would cover my cost of living here ( which by the way is mad !!!!!! ) Plus it would be a good reason to start fresh ( again )

Anyway it is just a thought that has stuck and had to be written down that's all.

Now for the other things ..........

I have invited one of my best friends Sarah to come with me to Canada. When I invited her I expected the normal response most would give of ' love to but not sure I can afford that so expensive' did I get that from Sarah ?? Hell no !!! Had to hold her back from booking the ticket then and there ha ha !! So I have to say I am dead dead happy she has agreed to come and really hope she loves it. Have asked her to come with me when I go home for the Canada Day party. Believe she has no idea what she has agreed to ha ha !!!

I am also looking at possibly moving as well. I am slowly but surely not being able to afford to live by myself. The cost of living by myself is getting on top of me now. I have mentioned it to Sarah and it is a possibility with her but not for another 6 months at least. Not sure if I can continue to live on 2 pound fucking 50 a day for 6 more months !!!!!!!

So yeah anyone want to move in with me and my cat ?
no takers???? Nothing ???
thought that might be the answer I got
oh well

I am Back .... Still in one piece and at the same level of Insanity as Well !

Helllloooooo yes I am back !!
Apologies for nothing for almost a month. As you all should know and if you do not know you live under a rock in the desert somewhere, it has been Christmas so no chance to write really.
The Taylor /friends in tow visit went really really well. No major blood was shed and no one threatened to do serious bodily harm only moderate harm.

It was amazing to have them all here and by far one of the nicest Christmas I have had. My mum and George landed after a long delay in Calgary and a long delay getting a hire car ( Mum kicked up a fuss and managed to get up graded to a well nice gas guzzling car) Alex landed well also on the same day.

Next to arrive was my brothers girlfriend, Amanda, just after Christmas which was lovely as well. And then finally last two to arrive were Richie my brothers and have to say mine now friend. He is Venezuelan ( so cannot spell that ) Peruvian , Swiss Canadian or as we like to call him our little brown boy ( he insists he is bronze ) and then came Phil our Dutch Canadian boy who is currently training with the Dutch commandos.
So yeah whole thing was absolutely wicked had a blast ate way way way to much did not drink to much though. Think old age is kicking in and just do not drink often now. Rest of the family do however and now I am fairly sure believe I was adopted at birth ha ha

I had one bad thing happen to me twice however. On the Sunday before Christmas some bastard hit my car late at night and drove off and then to make matters worse the damned thing got hit again in the Ikea parking lot!!!! Needless to say my the second hit I sounded like I possibly had tourettes . It is so going to cost me to get it fixed so any donations would be great !! ha ha ( yes fully realize that no one is going to donate )
anyway I will have pics soon and once I get them will post for all to see
so till next time bye bye :) x

Better Chance of Pulling in a pursuing home ! ... And Various updates as well

Hello hello hellooooooo alll !!!!
Yesterday my friend Sarah ( she will kill me for telling this story but I did warn her I would blog it so tough lady !! ) went on the ultimate quest to find a man ...... She went..... Speed dating !!!!
Now I have done this speed dating business with a good reputable company one of the first to do full on speed dater events. I went to a very up market bar in city center Manchester and all participants were well lets say educated and not scum ok. So when Sarah said she was going to do this I said brilliant !!! Honestly promiseyou you will have a top time and never know may find something you like there. Except there was one issue :

She did not go one of the really well known speed dating firms and it was not set up in Manchester city center at a up market bar. In fact it was set up from what I can gather by a much smaller company then the one I used. It was held at a moderate bar in Didsbury which is a lovely area but the issue is that it is also invade by STUDENTS !!! How the hell do you find a de cent mature normal guy in studentville !! You cannot it is a impossible task never ever try it !
So this is how the conversation and text conversation went before she arrived at the big event :

ME: you read then ?? What you wearing ?
Sarah : Jeans black top , casual really
ME: cleavage ??? Always works men love tit's !
Sarah : NO!! Way to nervous right now ??
ME: stop being a big giant assed Jessie !! It will be fine
Sarah: give me a first question to ask something good
ME: Ok... Ask .... What is your favorite piece of fruit ?? And Ice breaker
Sarah: ( nervous slightly suicidal laughter) ok gotta go taxi here !!
ME: Good luck

After I hung up I was giggling at her obvious dread of the coming situation and being the nasty evil cow I can tend to be I thought I would stir it up a bit more by sending the following text. I also waited until I knew she would be either just arriving or already there before sending it to her :

text message : Remember do not mention the case of genital warts! Really puts them off for some reason unkown to me !! lol lol xx

I received no response to this ha ha !! Big surprise

After the even that obviously finished I received a text from Sarah and was ready for this message that would be all glowing and happy and that it was a success .... How wrong was I ???!!

Sarah txt message: That was shite I am never ever doing that again !!! I have more chance of pulling in a damn nusring home !!
Louisa txt response back : honestly could not have been that bad although.... Nursing home is not a bad idea they die quicker and you get all the money.

So my lovely amazing friend Sarah is now in the following frame of mind : I am going to be a spinster for the rest of my life I am obviously a mental reject and will never ever be able to get a man ....I suck.
Sarah you do not suck you will find a man stop being a big Jessie I will make it my mission for you to get this sorted out. Mainly because in 20 years time when I have a family I do not want you known as Louisa's crazy cat lady friend who is coming for the holidays because her life sucks and she lives in a bedsit smelling of wee !! Selfish I know but practical.

Update on the Taylor clan visit:
72 hours and they arrive. All seems to be going well mum seems reasonably level headed and not overly stressed. George apparently is excited like a small school boy ( well not small at over 6 foot 2 but you get the picture )
My sister however is at wrist slashing point with work and has pre warned me not to expect conversation from her when she lands as she will be a vegetable.
Me well me is excited and worked up at the same time. My main aim over this holiday season is to drink get drunk eat myself stupid and then pass out and sleep for hours on end.

The way every holiday should be spent as far as I am concerned !!!

next up date will include the goings on of the Christmas works do which is tomorrow night !

Can't think of a Decent tittle ......Far to Lazy !!

Apologies again for recent non blog entries. Life has been busy and hetic at times and if I were to be honest with you other times extremely lazy !!
It is 10 days until the Taylor clan lands oh sweet lord help and protect great Britain !! ha No in all fairness I am actually dead dead excited about them all coming but at the same time as previously stated I worry tremendously for my sanity as well!

I have attempted to clean my flat and keep failing miserably! I have got it to a state of clean but it still looks well not tidy ! So that is my mission for the next 10 days try and make myself tidy. Some may be thinking ' crap mission really ' but it is not I swear !!!! Trying to make me tidy is a near impossibility it is like trying to make your self believe George Bush has a fully functioning brain! I will clean and put everythign in its place right and it will look amazing ........ For about 5 minutes ! Then the clutter demon takes over and it looks untidy again. And this is not just solely in my flat this includes my car and my desk and my handbag. I am soon going to turn into my grandmother and save every plastic type container I can get my hands on I know I will !!! Believe medication may be in order soon to stop this problem!ha

Now onto another of my unreasonable compulsions this one though however is not completely unreasonable as I have a strong belief that others have the seasonal issue as well. This is the latest a obsession. I am now lying in bed every night worrying myself to fully awake on who else I should or should not be buying Xmas pressies for !! You may be thinking ' give me a break not a big issue at all ' BUT IT IS DAMMIT !!!!! You worry who you offend you worry who would have got you something and you didn't get them anything , you worry also about what you got someone and if it is to cheap or to expensive !! It is a never ending bloody issue !!!


Here is a example.My best mate Sarah is excessively hard to shop for she is not picky but she is also happy with just about anything you get her. You are now all thinking well if she is happy with anything then this should be easy ! Well it is not at all. I want to get her something fun something she will enjoy and will make her smile. She loves Wallace and Gromitt and creature comforts so I was thinking down those lines then I had a inspirational idea !! Shje bought herself a lush stuffed toy of Gromitt ( the dog ) so I thought brilliant I can get her the giant stuffed toy version of Wallace. So I did my research and turns out the bastards only do a stuffed toy version of the dog !?!?! What a bunch of dumb asses !! Why would you do one and not the other ?? They are a pair they should be together in every toy aspect !!! So my brilliant idea became a dead dead idea!. So basically I am back to square one and I have absolutely no idea what to get her driving me mad. Any ideas would be of great great help ( not that anyone ever reads my damn blog now )
Speaking of people not reading my blog or sorta kinda speaking of it. How do people manage to get themselves nominated for these cool blog awards ( URBS The Urban Blogging Awards) ?? How in gods name do they firstly get that many people reading them and secondly become so cool in the blog world to be nominated ! It is like being in high school again and having the cool and popular gang the mildly cool but intelligent group and then the geeks and well then me. That is seriously what it is like!! Baffles me how these people manage to get these faceless followers who religiously read them and how they become so good at blogging as well ?! Also are they all unemployed ???? How in christs name do they find the damned time to do this ?!
Just winds me up that I am not nearly that talented nor can I write about overly interesting things 24 hours a day let alone once a week and lets face it I CANNOT SPELL !! If they had a award for worst typed spelt blog there would be no competition I would win that bastard with honors!!!
anyway enough whinging
bye x