canadian in manchester

I have been Revamped People !

2008-01-30T10:01:00.001-07:00

I've moved my blog to Wordpress. The new link is http://www.louisataylor.wordpress.com. This blog will ~~self-destruct~~ redirect in 5 seconds! Please update your links. See you on the other side all !!!!

Drivers in this Country Suck !

2008-01-24T10:10:00.000-07:00

So today I was driving into work on my usual route. I have driven this road all my life. Due to the fact that I live out in the wilds of the country I have to take the main highway ( motorway for the English folk) into Edmonton. I have never really had a problem with this road, never been in ditch, never hit a deer or another car even …always a bonus not hitting other cars you know ( although i have hit a light post ...head on ).
So anyway this morning the roads were excellent conditions. There was minimal traffic. There was no ice. It was not snowing and there was no wind. Seriously for winter driving you could not ask for better conditions. Apperantely I was the only person who realised that these were good roads??? Firstly everyone was driving at least 30 km below the limit…IN THE GOD DAMN PASSING LANE ( Dammit that is my biggest pet peeve seriously i yell at these people as I drive by you know ! ) Everyone was on tenter-hooks for some reason. I have no idea why though. Greta the Golf and I were flyin.
Then it got worse….a lot worse. I drove out of one of the satalite towns, Spruce Grove, smack into mayhem. There were 6 yes 6!! cars in the ditch all lined up like neat little matches. Seriously I have no freakin idea how these fools ended up in the ditch. The roads were dry, there was no snow and for sure no black ice. Yet these idiots managed to get there vehicles in the ditch.
I miss British roads in such a big way. People move over when you crawl up there ass. People do not end up in ditches randomly AND the traffic reports rock!!! They are always right and up to date!! Over here they will say something like south bound Anthony Henday right lane accident stay left. When in actual fact it will be North bound left lane !!! So irritating.
Ok I am done now. My rant is finished …until the next fool pulls in front of me for no god damn reason other then they were clearly bored in the other lane and thought ” what the hell lets see if the other lane is less boring ..” FOOLS

I am Materialistic and Proud People

2008-01-24T10:08:00.000-07:00

I am going to go on a bit of a rant today …just fore warning you all ok!

I am of the belief that wanting things for you, material things, is not being materialistic. For reasons unknown to me some people are of the belief that if you want these things you are someone of low moral standing or materialistic! I have sooo many issues with that.
If I want to live in the big house or uber cool condo or if I want to have the range rover and the state of the art gadgets does that make me a bad person?! I THINK BLOODY NOT PEOPLE!
They say that money does not buy you happiness and I agree with that however I am believe that it most certainly makes you happy. It makes you feel as though you have accomplished something in your life. It makes you self worth and self esteem rocket through the roof. In my eyes this is a good thing people.
So I am proud to admit I want those things. I want to be able to just go away for a weekend to Vegas or to San Francisco because I simply can afford to do that. I want to be able to go into a store and pick the nicest furniture not the furniture that I can afford but the furniture I want. I see no issue in being proud of excelling financially and materialistically. It does not make me a lesser person or someone of low moral standings. In fact it makes me an ambitious and self thriving self rewarding person and there is nothing wrong with that.
Do not get me wrong I do want the little things in life to make me happy. A book to read on a Saturday afternoon in the winter. Breakfast in bed on a Sunday from the guy I love. Curling up on the couch and vegetating for hours with that guy. These are things that do not cost money and make me happy. But of course knowing I am secure in my future that I am able to get what I want out of life helps in everyway to make me a sane high self esteemed girl.
So you know I take issue with people that look down upon others that make something for themselves, in my eyes it is a form of jealousy. Rather then being a jealous person why not spend your energy on striving for those things you want out of life rather then wasting the precious energy you have in down playing what others have done for themselves!
Rant done

Yes people The Lazy one Has Returned :-) I know yo Missed me ! ha !

2008-01-23T13:03:00.000-07:00

Ok now for the big amazing spinning my world around news guys. I have finally got my self booked in for my plastic surgery. For those of you who do not know this is the back story to it all. I have spent 18 months of hard times and work losing weight. I need to make it clear that I was not doing this out of social pressures to be thin or to fit in. I was doing this for myself and for myself to be health, So my total weight loss currently stands at 110 pounds I have gone down from a size 24 to a size 18/16. I have lost untold inches everywhere and I am damn proud of myself as is my family and friends. So after all that I had let’s say “skin issues”??? So the only way to solve that and bring me down to my true size(12/14) was a tummy tuck. After 6 months of waiting for one of the best surgeons in Edmonton I got in. He took one look at me listened to my story and then promptly informed me I was a prime surgery candidate and that the results will be remarkable ! So I go under the knife on the 7th of May. I will be off work for 12 days and off riding duties and gym for 6 -7 weeks ( boohoo! ) I will have a scar from hip to hip on my bikini line and I will be in pain …but it is worth it. I do regret a few things though. I regret not having a boyfriend before hand. You are asking why now aren’t you ? It is very simple really, I wanted to be sure that whom ever I start dating is dating me for me not for the new thinner tighter ab’s covered me. I am worried I will only attract a guy who wants as stated before “ Barbie” or cheerleader” or “stupid” none of which I am people !!! I am of the mindset that if you cannot accept me for all my faults and flaws now then bugger it not worth my time. But you know that is how life rolls I guess and you just have to go with what is thrown you way.
So either way all my hard work has finally paid off and let me tell you when this is all done ….I AM SHOPPIN MY SKINNY ASS OFF PEOPLE !

I am now riding a stunning new mare that my friend Aron has lined up for me. I adore riding her and I think that this partnership is going to go a long way. We seem to suit one another and she challenges me which is what I need in a horse. I am now riding at very private and exclusive stables where she is living and where Aron is as well. I have to say I feel like a bit of an imposter when I am there and as though I am imposing on people. However this will vanish within time and I will get comfortable and settle in. Rode last night properly for the first time with Aron in YEARS ! It was like being 12 all over again and so strange. But best of all Aron gave me a mini lesson and I can safely say the girl ROCKS! She had me thinking about my seat about how I was asking the horse and making the horse move. In those short 20 minutes or so I learnt huge amounts So I cannot wait for a full lesson from her and to basically suck her knowledge in like a sponge ( I am very sponge like people just so you know ! )

So as said before I am off to Jasper for my first skiing of the season. I am super stoked for both the days of skiing and the crazy ass nights at Pete’s in Jasper and the Gallon of beer policies !! There will of course be a shed load of pics for you all !!

Pay it Forward

2007-12-20T09:41:00.000-07:00

I am a believer in the practice or idea of paying it forward. In case you are not aware of what “ paying it forward” means or you live under a rock …which some of you may do so I apologies for poking fun at your humble abode…I am sure it is lovely under that rock of yours, I will give you a brief explanation to the best of my ability.

Paying it forward is a simple concept really. Lets say someone does you a good deed such as puts money in your parking meter when you are about to run out of time and the parking ticket Nazis is on his way to nail a ticket to your windscreen. Some random stranger pumps your meter and has done you a good deed for the day ( hopefully he flipped the bird to the parking ticket Nazis as well ) So the next day you see someone struggling to cross the road with a insane amount of pages and things are dropping and it is basically a walking time bomb of tears. You offer to help them get across the road. That is paying it forward. Paying the good deed done to you onto others hence the term paying it forward.

I have always tried to do this normally it is on a smaller scale. So it’s not like I am giving away thousands of dollars or open charities to help people. Its little things like the above mentioned. It is something you do for free that feels just as good as buying that new pair of jeans or handbag or drink lol.

In my travels I had an enormous amount of kindness shown to me. This was never a pity style kindness or a charity case. It was just people willing to be kind towards me at that moment. Some of the clearest and most ingrain memories are the holidays. I was living in a country with no one around me for a few Christmases I was also single so I did not have that other person to lean on or rely on during the holidays. I spent one Christmas alone and can safely say it was the most suicidal depressing experience of my life. There is nothing worse then sitting in your flat alone getting pissed and eating a microwave dinner because all you can think is “ fuck this I am not cooking or celebrating” So when friends asked me to come to theirs one year it was actually hard to hold back the emotions at the enormity of my situation at that time. I had friends also entertain my very North American concept of Thanksgiving. They seemed to realize that this was important to me and that they needed to be there for me as friends and people who understood me and my need to have that thanksgiving that year.

So I have always wanted to “pay it forward” knowing how that situation feels. Waking up on Christmas morning to a silent house, no smell of food or the smell of Christmas. Waking up and knowing that for the rest of the day everyone around you would be laughing, eating crying, arguing and generally enjoying Christmas while you are effectively the sad bastard by yourself.
Paying it forward is not a pity thing this needs to be made clear to all. Paying it forward is not something that is asked for. It is something that is done out of kindness and from the heart. It is not done with the intent that it has to be done back to you at one point. It is not done to make the other person feel as though they are in debt to you. It is simply done for the kind act and good deed that it is and that is all.

So this year why don’t you try and pay it forward people. Find the littlest thing and just do it. Make that effort and do you’re paying it forward for the day, month or even year. It is the time of year that things like this should come as second nature to you all.

So yes everyone …go and …PAY IT FORWARD PLEASE

Just Have a Little Patience

2007-12-14T09:54:00.000-07:00

I have written a fair amount about my current single state and my lack of relationship. I know some may get bored of it but its my blog and as stated before this is what I believe sites like these are for. They are your sounding board. They are the place where you get things off your chest you just do it to the rest of the world. Doing it to the rest of the world can actually be somewhat comforting you know, knowing anonymous people are reading about your problems and potentially identifying with them as well.

You know as much as I profess to it not being a bad thing being single it is at some times. I do not handle single well you know. It’s a unfamiliar feeling for me. I have always been part of a pair for at least the last 10 years and so when you go through a stage of not being a part of that “pair” you begin to doubt yourself which is never fun.

However some of my closest friends have consitantly told me that it will happen and not to work myself up over it. But the one word that resonates most is the word PATIENCE.
I am told by close and old friends that patience is what I need and that things happen when they need to and for a reason. Mason said to me the other month that you have to go through a bag full of shitheads before you find that one that is not a ass and is what you want. You know what he is right.
I seem to attract 2 kinds of men,. Either the girly boys or the bad boys. Seriously there is no in between. I can’t handle the girly men I am thinking I do not need to explain that. As for the bad boys…I admit I like them but they are never a good thing. I want that in between boy. A guy who is a “guy” who knows that he is meant to be a man but at the same time has that sensitive side that appears on occasion. I like commanding men and you know they are so hard to find these days.

So I will go with what friends like Aron and Mason say and that is patience. I will have patience and wait to see what rolls my way.
Lyrics from a song that sums it all up right now. Take That “Patience”

Just have a little patience

I'm still hurting from a love I lost,I'm feeling your frustration,That any minute all the pain will stop,Just hold, me close, inside your arms, tonight,don't be too hard on my emotions,

'Cause I, need time.My heart is numb, has no feeling.So while I'm still healing,Just try, and have a little patience

I really want to start over again,I know you wanna be my salvation.The one that I could always depend,

I'll try to be strong believe me,I'm trying to move on,It's complicated but understand me.

'Cause I, need time,My heart is numb has no feeling,So while I'm still healing,Just try, and have a little patience,have a little patience,

'Cause the scars run so deep,It's been hardBut I have to believe.

Have a little patience,

Woah, Cause I, I just need time,My heart is numb has no feeling,So while I'm still healing,just try, and have a little patience,have a little patience,

My heart is numb, has no feeling,So while I'm still healing,just try, and have a little... Patience

I Miss British Men

2007-11-20T09:13:00.000-07:00

God I really miss English Men!!! You cannot comprehend how much I miss them. See the creatures that are English men and the creatures that are Canadian Men are 2 very very different species.

They are so different it is scary. It makes a girls head spin endlessly with self doubt. So I will try and explain the difference between the 2 creatures and let me tell you they are complete opposites.

Canadian Men

They are such self involved men. I find that they think of themselves as more then they are. It’s almost as if they have airs above their stations. They believe themselves to be god’s gift to all and sundry.
Canadian men appear to only want 3 types of women either invidually or combined: The stick insect (she lives of lettuce leaves and only that…maybe water if she is lucky). The Barbie doll cheerleader. They effectively bounce around a whole lot generally not very smart. Although they are thin they have big knockers and a giant ass…Canadian men seem to appreciate this for some reason. Finally the fake not remotely real girl. These girls are also bitches to be honest. They always seem to be in uber bitch mode and have perfect hair.
Heaven forbid that a Canadian man wants a real woman. Or women who will challenge them or make them think…oh yes to be able to think guys! They do not want a woman who is real and laughs from the belly, will eat a hamburger because it simply looks damn good!
The other big difference is as follows. Canadian men do not look after themselves. They generally have some of the worst dress sense on the face of the earth. By this I mean flannel shirts and white socks with dress pants…YES I AM SERIOUS. They may get a decent haircut once every 6 months for if they go every month or 2 months they fear they may be thought of as “gay” yep very gay…give me a break.
But most of all I find them judgmental. This one really irks me. I am not one to blow a guy out upon first meeting them I am someone who will give them a chance. Maybe that’s the idealist within me?? I do not know

British Men

They do have faults before I start but they are so minor in comparison to Canadian men.

First of all a British guy as far as I am concerned cannot be bothered with stupid women. They really can’t. They seem to pick the more intelligent women out there and that rocks as far as I am concerned.
British men tend not to like the skinny girls of the world. They appear to love a woman who has some substance to her. They like something to hold onto I guess?
British men make laugh endlessly. They are damn funny people. They are self deprecating and sarcastic. They know exactly what button to push with me to make me giggle a proper giggle.
British men DO look after themselves. The myth that they all have bad hair, bad teeth and bad glasses is so very wrong. British men go to the hairdresser regularly. They wear the coolest sexiest cloths. Some even get manicures…no this is not gay! I personally would like a guy who touches me to have good hands people is that not to much to ask?
They spend time buying great cloths that SUIT them.
But most of all as far as my experiences have been up until now compared to Canadian men British men know how to love. They seem to be able to express themselves so much better. They do not wait for a girl to make the move before they do. They just tend throw it out there.

So yep there it is I prefer British men. Now do not get me wrong there is likely a Canadian guy out there who will turn my opinion. A guy who will turn my head and make me pay attention to them. I just wish they would kind of appear now because currently they are not doing a very damn good job you know!

Defining True Friendship

2007-11-16T13:40:00.000-07:00

Friendship is defined so differently by each individual. I do believe that some people have what is a warped version of friendship. They believe it as a status symbol if they are friends with a certain person. They believe it good to be friends with a rich person or a powerful person. To me this is a warped and strange version of friendship.

I have always had “friends” who I class as fair weather friends. Then I have my true and deep friends and there are not many of them. This is not because no one wants to be friends with me this is because I choose a select few to spend my time and energy on. I chose a small group so I can spend MORE time with them rather then having vast amounts of friends and spreading myself thin.

My friends mean the world to me. They are my backbone and my reality check. Friends like Aron remind me to have fun all the time and she reminds me I am of value and worth something. Friends like Mason remind me I am beautiful and needed all the time. These are true friends.

These are a few things that I believe describe true friendship in my eyes:

A true friend will catch me when I fall
A true friend will accept me for me and my faults and flaws and will celebrate those with me.
I can call a true friend when I am heartbroken and babble endlessly and although I may feel a fool that friend will never let me believe I am a fool.
To me a true friend is someone I would trust my deepest and darkest secrets with. Being safe in the knowledge that those secrets are in the vaults for a life time and will never escape.
A true friend is someone I would trust my life and my heart with.
True friends will tell you the hard cold and honest truth. At the time it may appear to be painful and hurtful but that is never the intent. The intent of that friend is to remind you of whom you are and where you are going astray. Only a friend can do this best.
A true friend is someone you make a godparent to your child not because they are just a true friend but because the0y are the type of person who has the right character traits to guide your child through life.
True friends will tell you that you are a beautiful person and when they tell you that you know it is true and honest.
True friends are there for you when there is catastrophe and when there is endless pain
A true friend is there when there is nothing but pure joy in your life.

The list could be endless but rest assured that my true friends fit every single one of those descriptions and even more. I would do anything for my friends. If had all the money in the world I would take them on the biggest most incredibly fun and insane world trip just because it would be FUN!!
I know that I am so fortunate to have the friends I have. I know that there are people out there who are not as lucky as me and are missing out on the incredible feeling of true and steady friendship
This is what I have true and steady friendship. The love of a good friend is so very hard to describe I just know that I have that love everyday

What is Happiness to You ?

2007-11-15T10:40:00.000-07:00

What is happiness mean to you? By that I mean how do you define happiness in your life?
I have always thought of happiness as a very subjective thing. Everyone has a different version or meaning of happiness. I would like to think I have a very straightforward version of happiness.

To me happiness is actually a very simple thing that most people seem not to be able to achieve, including myself.

Happiness in my definition is as follows. It is the feeling of being wanted and needed. It is knowing someone else craves or needs to be in your presence. If someone has that desire then that means you have the ability to make them happy. Making someone happy is a sure fire way to being happy yourself, it’s like a good deed turned.

It is the feeling of relaxation. Relaxing is a hard thing to do and when you figure out how to do it properly I think you can be super happy. I am a person that actually finds it very hard to relax or “shut off” I am constantly turned on. I am go go go all the time. So when I manage to switch off and just chill out it is unreal, it is a state of happiness that is very hard to describe! All I know is when I relax I am happy.

Although I hate to admit it money does play a factor in happiness. If you can live your life without the worry of financial issues then you are less stressed which equates to being happier. However money does not buy happiness, it does not by love or friendship and love and friendship are keys to happiness.

Living in the country makes me so happy. I grew up there it is where I belong. I do love the city and all it has to offer. However nothing beats a winter night, a fire place, glass of wine and ….silence. Pure uninterrupted …silence. It is pure bliss for me. Being able to ride through gigantic fields whenever I wish with the horses is happiness. Riding is likely the ultimate feeling of freedom for me and that is a pure state of happiness as far as I am concerned

The biggest thing though for me that makes me happy is being in a relationship. I flourish when I am in a relationship. My sense of self worth increases. My self esteem is boosted. I feel needed and wanted. I feel beautiful and stunning. All of these things make me happy beyond words. I fall asleep at night with a grin on my face when I am happy

So happiness as I said is all subjective. To one person it is being able to buy what ever you want to another person it is the ability to smile on a daily basis. Happiness is a very individual and unique thing to acquire and I think once you can find that happiness you can almost always stay happy. It’s all in the mind as far as I am concerned. If you are able to keep your self happy internally you will always show that happiness on the outside to others

Come out of Your Music Comfort Zone !

2007-11-13T11:06:00.001-07:00

I have been writing a lot about music of late. This would be due to the Ipod touch otherwise known as gods gift, being fused to my palm.

I grew up with a love of music. I had parents who were music lovers and passed that on to their kids. I would like to think that we all have very good taste in music and a reasonable idea of what is quality music and what is “fluff” music. Do not get me wrong I always love a little bit of mindless fluff once and a while.

I had a Dad who adored Pink Floyd and all the great Jazz players. I had a Mum who loved Bob Dylan and The Rolling Stones. So we grew up with a great appreciation of what I call “Real” Music. I remember as a child watching my Mum on a Sunday afternoon in the dead of winter shimmying her way across the kitchen to Dylan and Dad turning up the Jazz to unbelievable levels to his undeniable lack of hearing! lol

Even now Mum will still put Dylan on and we will all know the words. I will be honest when I say I do not know many people my age let alone my younger brother’s age that know most of Dylan’s songs and appreciate them for the incredibly meaningful songs and lyrics that they are.

So yes I have been on a music kick!! Currently I have a small obsession with a few albums in particular with thanks to my friend Allen downloading them onto my god’s gift ( ipod touch )

Punk Goes Acoustic
I am so feeling this album and punk goes acoustic 2 as well. I do like some punk music but it is something I can only tolerate in small doses due to the fact that half the time I can’t hear a damn word that they are saying. So when I listen to the acoustic album I hear it all and realize how good some of the songs are.
Particular Favorite right now is “Memory” by Sugarcult. I love the tone and pitch of his voice. I get the feeling and meaning behind this song. It is a snappy and good song love it .
I also love Punk Goes 80’s and one song in particular. Video killed the Radio Star . I have always loved this song before hearing this version and now I am completely hooked on it with this version! It is one of the best “remakes” of a song I have ever heard.

Another group I have been introduced to thanks to my bro and Allen is Secondhand Serenade. I will be honest I had never heard of them before they were put on the Ipod and now I cannot stop hearing them enough. Again they are songs with stories. I am someone who needs to find a story or a meaning in the music that I listen to. If I do not find that then I begin to think it is rather pointless assaulting my eardrums with meaningless shit.
This album “Awake” is one big story. Favorite track is “I hate this Song” yes it is a slightly melancholy and can be somewhat sad but who cares it’s a song with a purpose and that’s all I need. Other mentionable tracks are the title song Awake and Take me with You.

So yes I am slightly deafer then I was last month. I am expanding my musical taste from what is familiar and comfortable to me and I am having fun doing it.

I say to everyone along with buying the current and up to date albums you need to go out and buy the classics and the godfathers of music. The Pink Floyds and the Bob Dylan’s. You need to see where good music came from before you are able to weed through the Fluff of modern day music. Listening to Dylan and Floyd will make you appreciate all the more the bands that are currently making the effort to be real musicians and artists.
I also recommend everyone comes out of there “music comfort zone” and buy an album they have never heard of or would never usually buy. It might surprise you how much music you are missing out there that is not mainstream and top 40

A Chance to Feel Greatness

2007-11-12T12:45:00.001-07:00

Yesterday was one of the best days I have had in such a long long time and it is completely down to best friend Aron.
I was given the best honor ever of being allowed to ride her amazing horse Ike. Some of you may be thinking “It is just a horse and it is really not that big a deal” This is not just a horse everyone.
This is an athlete, a fine tuned machine. He is the most stunning and expensive horse I have ever ridden in my life.
Ike is a Friesian breed. They are one of the oldest and most baroque breeds of horses. They are tall and majestic in style and appearance. Ike fits this description to perfection.

He is one of the best trained horses I have ever known in my life. This is down to the dedication and immense skill of Aron and her late and very dear trainer Nadeem. So when she asked me if I wanted to ride Ike I will fully admit my first gut reaction was to yell “UH NO CHANCE!! I am so not good enough to ride him lol “But she was instant and wanted to see how I would bond and react with Ike for any future help she may need with him. I decided ok she trusts me enough so you may as well go for it!! It’s a once and a lifetime chance to do this!
Well when the time came to get on Ike after Aron had finished riding him I was to put it bluntly …shitting myself! I tend not to get nervous around horses they are like an extension of who I am and my make up. However with Ike I just knew it was a different ball game.
Any fear I had vanished the minute I sat down properly and had the reins in my hands. All I can say for a description of what riding Ike is like is …poetry in motion. The is a fluid and forward movement that to some may be terrifying but to me excites and exhilarates me. It felt incredible. He is a credit to Aron and Nadeem and the hours and years of hard work they have put into the boy.
So as I said it was simply one of my best moments. It has to be top 5 at least. I cannot wait for the opportunity to do it again.
Even more then being able to ride was the huge and unfathomable compliment Aron has paid me for simply allowing me to ride her magnificent beast. For anyone who knows when you have a horse like that you do not mess around with it. You do not risk habits being taught to them. You do not risk him or rider being hurt, you simply do not risk. So for her to let me on was the confidence boost I needed to remind myself that yes indeed I am a good rider and that I need to remind myself of that daily from now on
Thank you again to both Aron and Ike

Being Selfish Should Be a Art Form You Know

2007-11-09T07:50:00.000-07:00

They always say that being selfish is a bad thing. Society manages to make you feel guilty for being selfish. It is considered socially unacceptable to be such a thing.

If a mother is at the end of her rope with a toddler or new born and she wants "me" time or she wants to go off by herself, she is considered selfish for wishing to do so. I believe in that situation it is the complete opposite. She is doing the right thing in the fact that she is re grouping herself. She is calming herself down so she can be the best mother she can be. Yet society deems her to be a selfish self interested mother.

I wife decides she wants to go out and do her thing instead of catering to a husband and his needs and society deems this to be selfish??? ....

All of this makes no sense to me. I will admit though sub consciously I have bowed to societies ideas of what is social unacceptable in the selfishness department.
I am the type of person that will continually put the needs of others before myself. I do it because I am a nice person. I have this unwavering belief that karma will eventually bite you back in the ass really hard. I believe in the phrase no good deed goes unturned. But recent events have made me realize that maybe I should be selfish ....
Someone I "like" basically has to make a decision between me and something else ( here comes that whole anonymous thing mentioned in the below post again lol) so I cannot mention the something else out of respect but be safe in the knowledge that the something else is a very big thing people.
I have done the Louisa response of " you have to look after yourself and do the right thing, and I support you"
Wellllll for the first time in a very very long time I completely regretted what I was saying. Inside I was screaming PICK ME PICK ME !! ( like I am a nose or something lol ) I just recoiled in fear inside at the thought that I would not be first to be picked. I panicked that I was losing something that potentially could be very very good and amazing.
I hate this feeling. Its like the old tug of war between right and wrong. Do I unselfishly fully offer my support. Do I attempt not sway the decision in my way do I be the "nice" person I have always been ....nice does not necessarily always work though.
Or do I be something so very foreign and against my nature and grain. Do I become a selfish person and pray I am picked or sway the decision somehow that I am picked? Being selfish is a foreign concept to me. Its something a lot of people have no issue being but for me it is not in my nature it is not something I can do naturally or with ease. But you know maybe this is the time that I do throw myself out of my "nice" comfort zone and take a chance.
Hmmm right my ramble is complete I am no closer to being clear minded or having a clear thought pattern if anything I have now made it worse dammit !! lol

Just When I Thought.....

2007-11-08T14:28:00.000-07:00

Its always hard to write about things in a anonymous way for me. I am such a personal person that I can't do the "hypothetical friend" sotries or the "what if" stories or the " I have a a friend of a friend" stories very well. So I will try my hardest to make this entry as anonymous as possible.

You know just when I thought or started to believe things were rolling my way ...bang brick wall. It took a huge amount of courage I suppose for me to throw myself back into the dating world. I, as written previously, have major brick walls that take a aweful lot to tear down. I have them up for so many reasons I cannot even begin to explain on here as they are that personal and most people do not know about them not even most of my best friends. So suffice to say for me to let even one of those walls down takes a huge amount out of me both emotionally and mentally.
When I am told that things may not happen the way I was hoping then I tend to feel slightly disgarded. This is completely not the other persons fault it has to be said. This is something so beyond and out of their control that I am actually very understanding about it and what ever decsions are made make complete sense to me even before they are made.

However the minute I realised that things were not going to go the way I had wished that brick wall slowly or even rapidly started re-building itself! I have finally felt comfortable with someone else for the first time in a long long time. I have finally let myself go a little enjoyed myself and well had fun and its sort of back fired on me.
Do I have some sort of seek and destroy beacon attached to my body. Do I have some sort of sign that god has pinned on me like the tail on a donkey that says " get her gaurd down boys and then watch the fun commence" lol Seriously I laugh but really I am not laughing out of fun or hilarity I am laughing at the joke that seems to be becoming my relationship life. In fact as I type this i have my head slightly turned so all the macho welders cannot see the tear that insists on welling up in my eye ! damn tear lol
I think that what really gets me is this was not a serious thing yet in anyway there were things still nit picking at me that I was trying to figure out. However clearly it meant more then I may have at first thought
So its is potentially back to square 1 for me yet again. You know what I am not sure I can go through the hassle of trying to get to square 2 3 and 4 again. It is so much effort for me to get there and feel safe there. I was getting there or at least to square 2 and yes I did feel safe.

October - Monthly Update

2007-11-06T17:01:00.000-07:00

Yep another month has rolled on by at warp bloody speed!

It has been needless to say a hetic action filled month for me this time round. So here we go !

Firstly it was my Birthday on the 30th. I decided not to do a happy birthday post to myself this year. I had a wicked first bday in 6 years in Canada! I got some truly lovely presents as well. Firstly mum got me ( after much hinting and insitance) a ipod touch. It has been fused to my hand since the day I got it ! lol So needless to say I am on a music junkie kck. Currently listening to : me first and the gimmie gimmies , palin white t's feist, ill scarlett to name a few.
Aron my ever so lovely best and oldest friend got me some really nice gifts. which was to much !! But I adore them and they mean a huge amount to me as she does.
Beth the rockstar wife in training has out done herself as well!! As a bday pressie and for looking after her 2 stunning ponies her dad and her are making me my own tack box for all my riding gear. You have to understand to buy one is a small fortune so I was touched and very pleased about that.
The birthday night.....oh what a night!! I had a shared pub crawl with Allan who's bday was just before mine. So we did a halloween crawl. Needless to say it was messy and fun. Supose you wish to know what I went as?......hmmmmm....A slutty Fairy ! God my family is proud of me let me tell ya ! So short black dress, giant red fairy wings,, wand, fishnet stockings, knee high boots and a entire bottle of sparkles ! lol OH and excessively big hairy. It was so much fun. I have no recollection of getting to my bed that night although I do remember shaving ricardo's head for him..yeah I am serious when i say that ...I did it drunk ..very drunk !

My love life...hmmm such a hard one to explain. One that I am thinking I will let lie for now as it is all very confusing and I do not know if I am coming or going. I will say this I just want uncomplicated affection, straight forward no hidden shit just a normal thing. It appears to be harder the one would believe trust me.

Ok so I had my first winter driving epxerince. We had snow on the 26th and it was like being back in the damn UK. People were in panic mode. Brakes being slammed cars in ditches stupid drivers everywhere. By the time i got to work at 7:30 ...I needed a drink!! Roll on winter is all I have to say !!!
Last weekend we had our annual bonfire party and it is pure drunken foolishness !! so much so someone called the fire department and police!! I am so serious. They were very good thoguh and told us they saw nothing wrong with our party and told us we could continue and continue we did people. I woke up the next morning to 15people sleeping in the house in various areas...always a good sign of a good Taylpor family get together lol

Thats about it really. November is well on its way. I am hoping for a good month and a fun month. Possibly not such a lonely month as I will admit October felt like a unsure and lonely month. So here we go 1 more down 2 more to go till the end of another year !!
( 47 days to Christmas people !!! lol )

Sick and left to Analyze my Own Thoughts ...Very Dangerous lol

2007-11-06T11:19:00.000-07:00

I am home sick today from work. I ended up getting a evil cold and even though i completely believe I would have been able to work my way through this as it is just a cold my boss demanded i take a day off.....who am I to argue ???

I am never very good at being off work to be truthful. I get a number of feelings going on. Firstly it is guilt for not being at work ( trust me when I say that the place is NOT going to fall apart without me lol )
I feel useless as well. I mean seriously there is only so much daytime telly a girl can watch before going insane.

But my worst day off work offence is over thinking and over analyzing things in my life and surroundings. It gets so bad when I am on my own and left to my own devices you know.

Today it has been the analyzng of the following: Do you ever feel as though you are the only one who makes the effort? I do or at least I am convincing myself that I do. It is likely I am not the only one making the effort however due to being left for a day without my normal distractions of work, customers, driving etc I am thinking and believing I am.
I for once in my life like to be the one not always making the fucking effort!!!! I would love to be the one where people make the effort for rather then me having to do all the fucking hard work all the time!!
I keep picking people in my life that do not seem to want to make the effort. Do I excude a big neon sign blinking " DO NOT BOTHER MAKING EFFORT SHE SERIOUSLY DOES NOT MIND PEOPLE" ???? I must do you know because it keeps happening to me lol lol. Is it to much to ask for someone to call yourather then you calling them or for someone to ask how you are before you do ? NO!

I would like to think I am not a needy person and I do honestly believe I am not. What I have always been in my life though is the person that looks after others whether it be friends or boyfriends. I have always been the one that feels the need to make sure everyone else is ok everyone is healthy or happy. But you know what I would like for once to be on the recieving end of that. It rarely happens. I would like someone to show concern for me and my well being. I would like someone to look after me when I am sick or to just be there as a distraction. I am thinking that is not to much to ask?

PenPals With Canadian Soliders

2007-11-05T19:21:00.000-07:00

I have been thinking and wanting to write to Canadian Soliders in Afganistan. Not just write one letter to but to be able to have a pen pal. I think of it as my way to make their long time over seas in a hostel land that little bit more.

I have searched all over the internet to try and find such a program. All I have been able to find is either pen pal programs for American soliders OR just messae boards for our Canadian soliders.
Does such a thing not exist ?? Has anyone actually ever found such a place where one can write back and forth between soliders from Canada?

It is so so annoying that I cannot find this anywhere you know

The Things that Make me Happy and the Things that Irritate Me

2007-11-05T10:44:00.001-07:00

It can be said that I irritate easily. I believe I got this from my Dad. Genetically I have received is genes of irritation.
Although I irritate easily, which most of my friends and family can attest to, I do have so many things that make me happy. Lots of little things as well. Nothing big or flashy just as the irritants are not over big flashy things either.

Things That Irritate Me:
Drivers that sit in the fast/passing lane even though the are not actually passing anyone !! This sends me over the edge of reason ! This has been a pet peeve since day one of driving and will remain that way till the day I die!

Commercials on television. This is a recently new irritation. It has been brought on due to the fact that I was spoiled in the UK. See over there on the BBC there are no commercials J It just rocked me world living there and watching television. Not the case here in Canada. There seems to be commercials over here every 5 minutes and the same shitty ones over and over and over.

One of my biggest pet peeves is not being called back, emailed back text back written back. Any form of communication that is lacking pisses me off endlessly. I have this line of thought that if I spent the time to communicate with you then you can have the common curteosy of communicating back to me. If you do not like me and do not want to communicate then tell me so. I am a big girl I am pretty sure I can handle the rejection. For some reason it works me up I get so irritated about it.

This is a odd one. Sleeping alone irritates me. Most people relish sleeping alone. They crave it, look forward to it, some people need it. I am however the complete opposite. I relish sleeping next to someone. I do not sleep well alone. It is a lighter more restless sleep for me. Which then leads to even more irritation the next day….trust me a over tired irritated Louisa is not a person you want to cross …ever. I think it is a safety or a comforting feeling to sleep next to someone hence sleeping so much better with someone next to me.

I hate always being the one to initiate things. By this I mean plans for going out or phone conversations. I hate being the one that appears to be the “pushy” one. I would like it if people called me before I call them to see how they are or to make plans. For some reason it makes me feel pushy or over bearing which is most certainly not the case.

Other little irritants:
Rude people, bigots, people with bad phone manners, small irritating children, yippy little dogs, people that dress up there yippy little dogs ( it’s a dog it does not need to be dressed up people ) bad customer service, bad boyfriends ( I have had my share trust me ! ), boyfriends who won’t commit ( yes every girl hates this people). In fact this list could go on forever. So just be safe in the knowledge I irritate over simple and little things.

Things That Make Me Happy:

When people smile at me. Not just a “smile” but a smile from the eyes or from the heart. Trust me I can tell the difference of what is just a smile and a smile that means “ I am happy to see you “ or one that says “ you make me smile like this Louisa” It’s a little thing but a little thing that makes me happy.

Knowing when I have made someones day. Whether it is by a action I did in the day to make their day that much better or if it is something I have said to make them happy. Making others happy makes me happy.

Cooking for someone I like or love. I adore the looks on their faces when they are eating something I have made that makes them happy. This makes me feel useful as though I have done something good to please someone.

The simplest happy moments are for me are when I am curled up on a couch with someone watching a movie or just TV. It gives me the happy feeling. It is simple and great.

I LOVE MAKING PEOPLE LAUGH ! Turns out I am good at that and it makes me happy J

You know being in a relationship makes me happy. It makes me feel as though there is a purpose in life when I am with someone who wants to be with me for being me.

Riding horses. Horses are the one thing I can shut off round. As well as being able to have a completely clear mind and a purpose it just makes me leap with Joy inside.

I am soooo happy when I give people gifts. By gifts I do not mean big extravagant ones but little meaningful ones. A book that means something in particular to the person. A card to make them laugh, things to help people when they are not well. It makes me happy to know I have made that persons day a little brighter.

Other things that make me happy:
Gerber daisy flowers, Sunny days, BBQ’s, my friends, my family, my animals, my life, the color yellow, people who love me or appreciate me, good nights out, funny stories from those nights out, going to dinner with someone special, traveling. Again this list could be endless you know

So there you go my irritant and happy lists. Both could be endless lists. I wrote this entry today as a form of therapy today you know. I needed to write it to get things of my chest and clarify a few things….its worked. My blog as I have said before is my therapy. This is the purpose of me writing here. I know I babble enslessly but you know as I have said before if you do not like it do not read it I am not forcing you to. But remember this it is my blog and my therapy and todays entry has most certainly cleared my mind for the day. Lately I have been a bundle of emotions and endless thoughts about such inconsequential things and writing it down has helped. Its like venting people !

The Most Anxiety Filled Day Of Every Week

2007-10-26T09:44:00.000-06:00

So you are asking why would there be one day every week which is filled with Anxiety?? Trust me in my working week there is.

It is not for reasons you may think like payroll or end of month or even complaints days. It is for the following reason.

Thursday is Check Pool Day. You are no likely asking what is this check pool day thing?? I will explain it for you all. Basically everyone puts in 5.00 dollars every Thursday to the pool. In a bag there are little metal discs with numbers. You have an pre arranged number for your disc (mine is 259). At the 2:30 tea break the draw is made. First place gets all the money second place gets a free in to the following weeks draw. The booty generally averages around about 350 bucks so it’s not bad really for free money. At Christmas everyone puts in 20 dollars and that one averages at 2000.00 bucks!!
So every Thursday I am nervously waiting to see if I have won. I sit at my desk and wait to hear the giant air horn sound off indicating that the break is over which means the winner is about to get his or her money. It is a fraught and nerve racking time I tell you!

See there is another issue. Along with being nervous about winning I am also a “marked” woman. I actually won the check pool the very first time I went into it. This was my first week of work. I then won again 3 weeks later AND again 1 and half months later. So far I have made just under 1000.00 dollars on the check pool. You are now wondering why I am a marked women right? Well there are guys who have worked here for over 30 years. The average working time at this company is about 20 years….people do not leave….ever. These guys have NEVER won the check pool. Yet here I come the new young estimator office girl and just start winning!! When I walk across the main welding shop floor to get to the main front offices I swear I can feel holes being burnt into my back by the disgruntled losing welders or if it’s not from their eyes it could be their welding torches! I keep my head down and truck on through the shop floor for fear of death by welding torch or grinding machine.
So yes Thursday’s at 2:40 pm are the most anxiety filled time of the week for me….

* Note: I did not win this week …oh well

The Toll of Humans and Animals in California Fires

2007-10-24T09:58:00.000-06:00

I have been following the fires in California closely over the last few weeks. I do not believe that any television pictures or newspaper articles can do justice to the immense scale of this fire.

In my mind it does not matter whether a house is 1 million dollars or 100,000 dollars or who the owners are. What matters is the fact that these people are having their entire lives absolutely and utterly devastated right now and it is virtually out of their control and hands.

What I was however happy to see is the organization of the entire operation of evacuation. Clearly lessons have been learned from New Orleans. Although the 2 disasters are like comparing apples and oranges the basic principles of rescue and survival are identical. I read an article on ABC news regarding the NFL stadium where the vast majority of people seem to be going to. It was both heartbreaking and touching at the same time. Hotels are putting big buffets on for the people. There are massages for free. It’s organized and most importantly CIVILIZED! These things are not paid for by the government. The hotels donated the food and the massages are being offered by a women also displaced by these fires. What I found disheartening from the article were the comments from their fellow Americans complaining that this never happened in New Orleans, they pulled the rich card, the race card and the “its California card” Guess what …they are humans ! They learnt from previous mistakes and found a better way to deal with a tragic situation.

But one of the things that I have followed even more closely is the animals, pets, equines and zoos. I am an animal lover. I believe as much as we need to help ourselves we need to rescue and help them as well as they cannot rescue themselves.
The SHEER scale of the horse rescues actually brought a tear to my eye. Fellow horse people like myself will know you would lay your life down for your horse friend and that what is happening. A rescue center has been set up in a Wal-Mart parking lot. Hundreds upon thousands of horses, cows, pigs, dogs and cats are being brought in by owners SPCA and random citizens with amazing hearts. The horses have their owner’s phone numbers and where they can be found shaved straight into their coats.
If I had the money the means the time I would actually go and help in all honesty. But reading what efforts have already been made has eased my mind. There are stories of families not in direct danger taking as many animals as possible into their homes and onto their land.
All this has given me a slightly altered perspective on the American people. I will not be the harsh critic I usually am in regards to them on this disaster. They are doing the most admiral job possible. Between the fire services, rescue services, SPCA, Animal cruelty units, Police and most importantly the public and residents they are making the best of a bad situation and handling it in a way that is beyond words to describe.

Do You Ever Feel Unsure of Yourself or Your Self Worth

2007-10-21T15:10:00.000-06:00

I do. I always feel unsure of myself. I am not sure why that is but it is the case with me 100%. I am a very outgoing and straight forward person and tend to try and not let myself get beatr down as I find it generally a waste of time.
However outward apperances are never whats going on inside any person. I have never met a person who matches their inside apperance identically to their outside apperances. I applaud anyone out there who can truthfully and whole heartedly say that this is the case for them!

Inside I do consistently second geuss myself. I have no clue why I do this but I do it. I do it in social situations, I do it in dating situations ( hence the likeliness singledom I seem doomed to aimlessly wander through FOREVER lol) I do it in family situations. I along with my sister and brother were raised to be confident and strong indiviuals. It seemed to have worked with the other 2 but for unexplainable reasons I missed that boat. As I said I may come across as this extremely confident and together girl but inside I am like a a typoon of doubt. When in social situations while speaking outloud it is highly likely inside I am say " OH MY GOD! Shut up Louisa you are making no sense people will laugh at you not with you soon" or " you are not even remotely cool right now, these people could wipe the floor with you in the coolnehess stakes Lou"
When I date or start dating or have been with someone for a while I still get that feeling of dread and fear. The feeling of " you are just a stop gap for this person" or " really they just feel sorry for you hence they date you, like their good deed for the year" You know what that is not the case and I realise that however I cannot seem to stop the freight train which is my thought pattern sometimes! lol It just keeps chugging along irelevent of how good or bad things may be!

I would love the doubt of myself to vanish ...like now!! I will admit that lately it has in social situations. I have learnt to take the attitude of "fuck it, not my problem its their problem" but on occasion it still pops up like a angry wasp. Dating is a whole different kettle of fish though. In the past and recently I have managed to convince myself that the other person is not remotely interested and he is just humoring me. I have been wrong almost 99% of the time!! And yet I still do not learn from the previous hard lesson to stop the doubting lol lol

I do know this as a fact of life and gospel for myself and my life. I know who my friends are. I know that if they heard the little voice in the back of my mind out loud they would slap me silly and knock the voice out. I know that whom ever I date that instinct will kick in as it has in the past and it will crush that self doubt. I know that my friends value my friendship. I know that I actually have a massive earthly amount of self worth and so far that knowledge of myself has won over the doubting thomas in my sub concious. I know that one day I will be one of those sickingly happily married and lovely people out there. I know that when that happens and when I realise the judgement of others has no baring on my life those doubting voices will vanish completely. And for now I will just have to wage a battle to keep the at bay until I know myself fully for myself .......

I Have Been on The Hunt

2007-10-19T21:39:00.000-06:00

No not the man hunt as begining to believe the Louisa curse is kicking in again on that front... a whole different post for you all at another time

No I have been on the hunt for a song that I have had no idea of who the singer is or the tittle. For Canadian readers they may know what I am talking about. The Joe comericals ( for UK readers Joe is like George in ASDA but it is in our Superstore over here) They have been playing as series of new adds that are simply amazing and some of the best marketing I have seen in a very long time. It is all down to a song.
It has been a song that has been stuck in my head for weeks and weeks. The same line has played in my head over and over " your my dream tonight". If you like Feist you will adore this song as well as the other song called "Mixed Up" from another ad campaign.
So I went on the hunt to find this song. I eventually found you could actually download it straight from the Joe website joe.ca. But that still did not satisfy me I wanted to know who sang this song!!! The women has what I call a fairy like voice. It grabs your heart when she sings and I can safely say it has grabbed my heart so much
This is what I found. Her name is Rhonda Stakich from Toronto. Her name is NOT on the Joe webiste which personally annoys me as it is a unreal song !
It always makes me happy to find a not on the radar artist. It makes me happy to find a non mainstream talented voice! If you like Feist you will like this women. I hope to hear more of her music

Paranoid or Being a Fool or Neither

2007-10-19T15:27:00.000-06:00

I have a tendancy to think the worst of things. I believe I do this as a protection sort of barrier really. I think sub-conciously I do it on purpose really. I have the belief maybe that if I think the worst then the worst will not happen to me.

I am never very good at opening myself up to people due to past experinces and my personality. However I put on a very good front of always being open and optomistic which I think is a skill ha ha !

So if someone was not speaking to you like they did before do you assume the worst? Do you assume that it is for a bad reason ( which is what I tend to do ) or do you assume you are being foolish and simply paranoid ?! It is likely I am being paranoid to be truthful but it is like there is this little voice in my head saying " Its the worst possible reason Louisa and you know it !" lol lol I am not sure yet how to stop the worst case thinking I tend to do more often then not but I know I need to.
Also I do know that if something changes in a friendship or aquaintance then it is not worth worrying over. There are somethings in your life you cannot change. There are somethings in your life you cannot control.
The only thing you can change is yourself and only for the better. The only thing you can control is yourself and again for good and not bad. So I will control my destiny and my life. I will stop worrying over things I cannot control. I have to realize I cannot make people like me or want me. I think once I figure that out I will be ok really.

Yep this is the end of another Louisa Babble everyone lol THANKS!! x

When Life Stops Rolling Your Way

2007-10-18T18:07:00.000-06:00

So I am so ill right now. It truly is aweful beyond words. I have been fighting a cold for over a week and was beginning to win the battle. I just felt really run down thats all, but I was winning!

Then two days ago I started getting a sore eyelid ( lower) I reckoned it was just a sty nothing more. I was wrong. I woke up this morning went to brush my teeth, looked up in the mirror, and JUMPED back!! My eye was virtually swollen shut ! I mean painfully swollen. It was swollen down beside my nose. It was painful I cannot reiterate how painful this was. I then realized I could not breath through my nose. Turns out I lost the battle with the cold as well. Called work said I was not going to be in and PASSED out in bed. I made a emergancy appointment with the Doc and went in.

So this is what it is: He believes I have had a allergic reaction to something but for the life of him he has no idea what. Then it got infected and a syst yep lovely I know!!! So he has given me heavy duty antibiotics and told me to hot compress it and rest up and be looked after. It was the last part of his reccomendation that sent me in a sad pathetic sorry for myself.

See mum is away for the next 3 weeks. So I am in this massive house by myself, feeling sick, feeling sorry for myself and also feeling slightly lonely :-(

Is it to much to ask of the world to have someone to look after you when you feel poorly ? I am beginning to believe that potentially it is lol lol

So there you go I am sick ( by the way not contagious sick lol ) and feeling sorry for myself lol

Music Music Music ! God I love it !

2007-10-17T11:24:00.000-06:00

Its time for another music recommendation entry for you all. As you are aware from the previous blog entry I am currently on a major music kick due to my sexy Ipod Touch ( Oh yeah did I mention I have a shiny new Ipod touch…I didn’t??... Are you sure???....lol)
So I currently LOVE any music I can get my hands on. However there are a few songs and artist out there that stand heads and shoulders above the crowds due to the greatness of their music. So I thought I would pass this all one to you.

There is also an underlying tone to this entry and that is the following: I need recommendations from you all on what artist you are loving right now, what I should download. I am looking for great British acts as well as they seem to be lacking completely on this side of this pond as the music frankly sucks on the radios over here!!

Ok on with my current list of Favorites:

Paulo Nutini
Now for my English readers this is no new artist for you as he has been out over there for over a year. However he is just breaking out over here. I adore this man. I find it completely intriguing that he has SUCH an Italian name and yet he could not be more Scottish so Scottish you cannot understand a word he says in interviews. Fav songs are pretty much all of them but to list the 2 I love currently they are: Million faces, a truly lovely easy listening song. The other and bigger fav is Jenny Don’t be Hasty. This is a classic singing to tapping your foot to in the kitchen song just wicked!!

Plain White T’s
Ok I know that these guys are coming out over there in the UK but they have been here for a bit. I love these guys. It’s another fresh band that has actual stories to their songs. This is the group that I will listen to over and over and over and never get bored. The song I am loving is “Hey there Delilah”. This song made me cry the first time I heard it. I can only wish in my life time to have a man as devoted and unreal as the one in this song. I recommend you find this Album “Every Second Counts” and BUY IT NOW PEOPLE.

Feist
Time for a little Canadian for you all. I was introduced to this women’s music 2 ways. Firstly it was the song advertising the new Ipods and she was also featured in a recent Greys Anatomy show. It is nice to hear a woman sing and not screech down your ears. She has a strangely addictive voice that seems to pull you in. It is music that makes you smile out of the corner of your mouth or from your eyes. I would say she is another of my Sunday listening albums. Another one you need to buy guys. Best song by a country mile is “1234” it makes you want to move and tap your foot. It makes you want to spin in a circle is a leaf covered fall field. It’s simply “nice”

And that’s all folks. Let me know what you think? Also give me recommendations!! I need to fill this Ipod up!

Louisa's Life Update as of Today

2007-10-16T14:18:00.000-06:00

As the title says this post is an update on my life as of today people!

Life is pretty damn good if I am going to be blunt, and you all know I am nothing but blunt at the best of times.

Ok firstly, I got myself a mobile (cell) FINALLY after almost a year of avoiding it since I came back last November. I have to fully admit (much to Arons sheer glee) that I was a fool not to have one for so long!! Oh my sweet lord I missed having a mobile. I REALLY MISSED TEXTING!! So now the damn thing is fused to my hand …just the way it’s meant to be and Aron is no longer mad at me lol. I ended up getting the LG Chocolate flip phone. My UK friends will understand my frustration with the mobile phone world here in Canada. They suck basically. They are about a year to 2 years behind in technology and phone design. However I will give LG credit where credit is due and say they have done a very European phone here and it’s good. They have had serious issues with the slide version which is what I wanted. They were smart enough to say to me not to get it. Clearly they could see I would end up being a pain in the ass customer!

Ok now for the SUPER FREAKING COOL AMAZING new toy. For my birthday I may have lightly hinted to mum that I wanted an Ipod Touch, ok not so lightly more like begging…it worked!
I am the proud owner of a new ipod touch which currently I do believe I am in love with it actually I am infatuated with it! I cannot stop touching, looking at it and holding it!

Boy front: All good best way to describe it. Still seeing boy previously mentioned and really like him. Completely my type and fits me well if that makes any sense. Will not say more then that as it is early days and I always tend to jinx things or over analyze things as well. So yeah all good is the best way to describe that all to you

That’s my life to date. My birthday is coming up in a week and half. I am having a Halloween pub crawl it will be a gong show. There will be pictures and tales galore for you all!!

If you .......

2007-10-09T11:02:00.000-06:00

So if you miss a person you recently met is it a good thing??
If you think about the person without getting that cold feet feelingand instead a happy felling its a good thing right??

I am thinking it is a good thing personally but just thought would throw that out there to see what others think thats all

I do not have that cold feet feeling. For those that know me and my unbelievable cold feet instincts this is a very good thing you know ....very good indeed ...

Monthly Update - September

2007-10-04T21:31:00.000-06:00

Well September has been and gone and oh so damn fast I have to say !

It was generally a quiet month for me but a fun in fact a sper fun month for me !

I went to Spruce Meadows with my oldest and dearest friend Aron and made a new fast and stead friend in Beth ! We had a brlliant time and I got the most amazing photos from it all as well.
I met Arons new man who in my eyes just ROCKS! The boy is very cool and I believe she has picked a truly lovely big hearted funny as hell boy there. So I wish them both the best in the world !! ( I know Aron reads this , him no her yes and I know she will have a grin from ear to ear after reading that )
Lets see what else.....hmmmmm... I did meet a boy. I won't say much as like to keep somethings to myself for the time being and the fact that he also knows abut my blog would be a factor lol. I do have to keep somethings a mystery don't I ??? BUt will say this he is lovely.

Hugo Chavez the kitten is a thug. Yep I picked the biggest thug at the shelter and brought him home. He has blended in so well here its as if he has always been in our home and hearts.

And now it is October. Thanksgiving is like 2 days away and my birthday is only 25 days away !! Yikes 29 and still searching for that happiness. September did not bring it fully but who knows maybe October will.
I will say this about September. It is a month to realize you are never to wish your days away. It is a month to relish in an amaing summer. It is a month to relive memories that put a smile and warmth in your heart. It is the month to reflect and recharge yourself.
September for me has been the month that I came out of my funk and saw sunshine again. It is a month to remember who my friends are and what they mean to me ( Aron !! xo) It is a month to open ones heart and to realize that not all things will hurt or scare you. It is my month to let go of ghosts and demons and remember I am a person that thrives on love and attention.

Roll on October !!!

Obsessively Listening over and over an over ........

2007-09-20T09:39:00.000-06:00

Ok those who know me know I love my music and could never ever live without it. I am also known to fixate on certian bands or songs at certian times.

Currently it has been The Fray and and the Canadian icon that is Sam Roberts. I mean seriously listening over and over

However .... I have a new fixation right now and it is one song in particular. I have no idea why but damn I play it over and over ( the boys in the shop office are about ready to kill me lol ! )

Its David Grey ( yes yes yet more melencholy shit however it is good shit ha ! ) It is from the Life in Slow Motion Album

It is the 3rd track on the Album. There is something about the song but I have no idea what it is but I do love it like you would not believe. He has a voice that pierces your heart and sticks in your mind for a lifetime. He is yet another song writer that makes you "think" he makes your brain tick as you listen to him. This is music I like music that forces me to listen as it has a story or a purpose behind it.

Don not get me wrong I LOVE fluff music. Throw some rap or rnb on and I will shake my money maker but you know sometimes you just want something to make you tick musically

This song makes me tick musically

"Lately"

That the sky would lift That I'd find my place That I'd see your face in the door And the sun would glint An a time well spent An a time that ain't no more

Taste the broken hearts In the vacant lots See the fruit that rots on the trees Try to turn my head Leave it all for dead But it's in my mind always

Honey lately I've been way down A load on my mind Honey lately I've been way down Load on my mind

Someone tell me where did it go Darling I'm damned if i know I seen that look in your eye No-one ever gave it a chance I could have said in advance You saw it all at a glance And goodbye

Drag a salted kiss From this cup of bliss Watch a new lie twist on the breeze

You can paint it red Leave it all for dead But it's in my head always

Honey lately I've been way down A load on my mind Honey lately I've been way down Load on my mind

Someone tell me where did it go Darling I'm damned if i know Iseen that look in your eye No-one ever gave it a chance I could have said in advance You saw it all at a glance And goodbye

Goodbye Goodbye Goodbye Goodbye

Honey lately i've been way down Honey lately i've been way down Honey lately i've been way down Honey lately i've been way down

Lately Lately

Setting the Record Straight

2007-09-18T10:32:00.001-06:00

Someone recently asked me via the internet and face book “why I was always so unhappy”
Now when I first read this a few answers and comebacks bounced into my apparent depressed brain (I am not depressed let me make that clear, that was sarcasm)
Firstly I thought “you do not know me so why would you ask me such a question without knowing the facts or the reasoning’s behind my down times.
Secondly I then thought : Well I did post my current unhappiness on the internet for all and sundry to read however that still gives no one person the right to question my feelings.
Then I began to think. I am not depressed. I am simply in a down period in my life. I need to make a few things clear to people so hear I go:

I have moved back to a country that is so very foreign to me even though it is my true home. I have been away for almost 6 years and I have been back only 9 months. There is a lot of readjusting to do for me to do. I left the most amazing friend base in the UK to come to a non existent friend base in Canada. Seriously zero friends. It was like being in grade 2 all over again and looking around a room at everyone thinking “please like me” but in a much grander scale then a grade 2 class room.

I had a long relationship with someone in the UK that ended on the worst terms ever. It did end long before I left the UK however it was still hovering heavily on my heart. So that also made me (god I hate this term) “damaged goods”. So now when I think about relationships I cannot help but compare to the past experiences which I believe is only natural really but it does put a damper on things really lol lol.

I had a home in the UK although small it was perfectly formed!! I mean really small ha! But the point is that it was my home. Here I have had to move back home to live with my mum. This is soooo not a bad thing but when you are 28 and when you have spent the last 6 years of your life depending solely upon yourself it is a serious slam back down to reality.

I touched on the falling for as friend thing previously and I will not deny that this has played a major role in the current “Louisa’s Merriground moods” It was a mistake but not a mistake I would EVER take back in my life time. It did however send me spiraling downhill when I waved him off back home that Saturday. What it also did was make me crave I mean absolutely crave to have a relationship. In the same light that scares me as I am worried I will “settle” for what ever comes my way and that is never a good thing.

The point of blogs, live journals, notes, online diaries is to be able to voice your current state of mind, your thoughts, beliefs and feelings. So you know what I will continue to write about them and you know what if anyone does not like hearing about it or reading about it …simply do not read it. I make the choice to post it you make the choice to read it.
(P.S I am actually a very funny girl by the way lol and I laugh endlessly and from the heart. I do not want to swallow a load of pills cut my wrists, throw myself in front of a very fast moving train or jump of anything high. I will have a drink however on occasion …pretty sure that’s allowed lol???)

Expectations to High or Being Realistic ???

2007-09-16T21:43:00.000-06:00

Ok so I went on a date today. This is a good thing for multiple reasons mainly that someone actually requested to go on a date with me lol ol ( yes I am being self depricating I know)

It was a good date. We had a good meal. We had a good conversation. We had good interaction. We had a good time. The point is that it was " good" it was not " sparks" nor was it " wow ".

He was a nice looking guy witha great heart on him I mean he paid ! Trust me I have had dates that have got out the calculator to fgureout how much each of us owes so paying is good !
But he was not good enough I am thinking.
Am I being unrealistic in wanting a really good looking guy . By good looking I mean 8 not 10 but not below 8. I am now going to be brutally honest. I.AM.NOT.A.8. I would rate myself at about a 6 and thats pushing it. I am NOT running myself down or being cruel I am however being realistic and honest and truthfull with myself. That is the honest truth I am 6 at best. BUt I am 6 that would really like a 8 on her arms for christ sakes lol
But that is not the main thing ...seriously its not. The main thing is as follows:
I need someone who will stand up to me. Some one who is strong and fast witted. Someone who can slam my ass down to reality when I get to big for my boots. I REALLY need someone who will make me laugh to the point of wetting myself. I know like 2 people that can do that right now guy wise. Mason as he is just so god damn funny and can just make me giggle. And a guy I work with seriously makes me laugh with the fastest sense of wicked humor I know. I seriously know few other men who can do that to me. Both are very very funny and smart which is always a bonus.
I did not get this on my date which is a serious issue I think. I need those things as mentioned above. I cannot have someone who will let me walk all over them but at the same time I do not need clingy and overbaring, its a very fine line you know.
I also had one other tiny teeny little problem. I was throughout the date comparing him to a certian someone who I have mentioned befoe .I KNOW THIS IS BAD !! but I could not help myself for doing it. The whole time I was thinking of the certian someone and that was soooo not cool.
So do I have unrealistic expectations or to high. OR am I right in not settling for the first bone thrown at me ( no pun intended there)
I have also set myself up for a fall for liking guys that are sooo complicated. Guys that have so many issues that really they should walk around in neon green screaming ...I AM A MESS DO NOT SHOW THE REMOTEST SIGN OF INTEREST!! Guys that arehooked on someone else guys that do not know I exist guys that do not knwo what they want. Seriously its like I have radar for the wrong guys lol lol

I am lonely and I am sick of it you know ....its not fun I reccomend it to no one. I reccomend no one sleep alone and miss that feeling of someone in slumber beside you. I reccomend no one lacks sharing a morning paper or buying a cheap little present for someone becuase you feel like it. I reccomend no one goes to sleep at night looking over at the otherside of the bed and just .....wishing .....

My Spruce Meadows Weekend and General Update

2007-09-11T10:43:00.000-06:00

I had a brilliant time in Calgary this weekend. A seriously good time. It was so nice to spend time with Aron. Plus it was a major big bonus to meet Beth, Arons friend, the girl rocks and I hope we can become good friends as she is my kind of people if you know what I mean.

So the hotel was sooooo nice very posh and very pretty. I felt like the poor girl going into the castle slightly !! We went out for dinner on Friday to Wild Ginger and it was truly very nice :-)

Saturday we saw the Nations Cup at Spruce. I have so many amazing pictures it is unreal. We had amazing seats hence amazing pics like this:

So those were Satrudays pics. There are so many more but I willnot bore you will just move on to Sundays pics lol !!

The Grey was my dram horse and the current world champ from Belgium, Jos Lansink.

So as you can see it was a amazing time the girls and I had a brilliant time together and there were no issues what so ever!!
On Saturday nighht we went out to donner which was kindly bought by Aron's "Man friend" who we will call G which was so very nice of him and really kind....as it was not CHEAP !! lol

Really like G and I am so very happy for Aron. I am crossing my fingers that it works out supper well for her. So that was my weekend

Now for a update: I am sick. I have no idea what it is but I feel like shit currently. I wish to crawl into bed in a ball and die presently...ok that may be slightly dramatic but you get the general idea.

Oh and I met a boy of sorts. Thats all I am really saying as I am not jinx a damn thing but we are going out soon and I will let you know what happens. He seems very nice and very down to earth which is exactly what I need right now. Actually I would take just about anything right now to be truthful...i have gone past the picky stage I think ....

You Know Secretly.....

2007-09-06T21:49:00.000-06:00

You know secretly I want kids.

I have always professed the biggest dislike of children however secretly I think I do eventually want them you know.

I do not know why this is but I do know part of the reason why I always said I never want them. I have this great fear of having kids with completely the wrong person. I want my potential children to have the coolest dad in the world. But a dad who is a dad not a friend. I want my potential kids to have a dad who they can turn to and a dad they can giggle with as small toddlers, cry with as adolsecents and have proper adult belly laughters with when they are adults.
I do think this is hard to find in most men. You know all the men I dated I could never see them as fathers. It was impossible to see it. Maybe that is art of the reason I have always been so negative about it. Maybe it is because I had the most amazing father who was a FATHER ! He knew what he was doing you know.
I also think that part of the reason I never wanted them is I was scared of losing the independence I have in my life ( note: the independence is slowly turning into wandering loner who will never settle down..not such a good thing) But I do love my independence and the thought of having to give that up for a small person is slightly not cool.

Saying all that the ore I think about it the more I know eventually I do want them. I have very close guy friends that I would love to see as fathers ( I am so not saying father of mine however if in 10 years nothing is going on then their services may be needed ha !! ) they would make the most amazingly cool dads but see they have to find the right mothers.

So yes secretly I want kids. I have no idea when and lets face it I am destined to be single forever at this rate as no one seems all that interested in the goods. But yes secretly I want the life sucking little midgets ...opps that was my inside voice escaping there .....

Canada v.s England

2007-09-05T21:44:00.001-06:00

So one of my nameless comment people got me thinking about my Canada versus England situation. I am always asked "Do you miss living in England?" or " Is it better here then there?" When I was in the UK I always got the comment " You grew up in Canada and came to live here ...why?!"

So I reckon I would do the old pros and cons thing for you all tonight.

The Worst bits of England

The rain. Yes it rains endlessly there. I say it is the worst bit however you do actually tune it out and begin to get to a point where you simply do not notice it but it still sucks

The costs of SOME things. Not all things are pricey if you know where to look. But things like fruit and Gas are so expensive.

The constant stream of asylum seakers. it is a problem there. When I first moved I did not see the issue with it. However by the time I left it was bad. There are a endless stream of them and a lot, not all, are not really asylum seakers by any stretch of the imagination.

The lack of bank holidays. England sucks in that department !! the rest of Europe has like 3 or 4 more a year dammit !

Bad rental flats. Seriously they are bad. There is no such thing as moving into a clean flat. You are promised at least a good 2 days of cleaning before you dare take your shoes off !

The cost of housing is so high. To get a tiny 300 sq foot flat it is going to cost you at least 900 a month no bills or council tax included those are are extra just for your pleasure !

The Worst of Canada ( yes there is such a thing)
The endless winters. I love skiing and winter and snow however 6-7 months of the year is so excessive!
The fashion. It is bad and it is like 12 months behind Europe ! Why is it we are still in hip hugging jeans and pants when whats in over there is high wasited which is sooo much better ! oh and the shoes are better in Europe then here
The loud people. I am a loud girl but after almost 10 months of being back my ears still hurt from the volume of human voices here.
The drivers!!!! You all suck sorry guys it is true. There is a fast/passing lane and a rest of traffic lane. If you are ot passing pull the fuck over. Really there are so many bad drivers here !
The roads to they are bad here. I can safely say in years of driving in the UK I never hit a pothole.
The men. Sorry fellas. But the men here are terrible. they have no idea how to behave around a women. They have no idea on how to dress themselves or fashion, how to present themselves and how tobe a gentleman. I have yet to meet a guy who makes my heart flutter ...i am destined to be single in Canada
The cost of flying!!! to damn expensive here its silly
The music. There are amazing Canadian artists however not to the extent of Britian and they are few and far between.

The Best of England
FISH AND CHIPS!! Enough said

The men. Oh my god the men. Guys over there do not like skinny skinmny girls they like normal girls. The majority know how to sweet talk a girl. They know how to dress how to look good. They are the ones the ones that chase there not the women. I neverhad a problem dating there like I do here

The friends I made. It is so much easier to make friends there then here. Here I feel like a outsider like I do not quiet fit in the puzzle. I feel like a londer and wanderer here.

The fashion !! oh lord it is good there

The social life. Socially they are much better in the UK. They are also not as clique there.

Spring. The season of spring over there is unreal. The smells, the sights the everything

The best of Canada
Its Canada. Its like the dream country for the majority of the world.

The mountians ! hey they are simply breathtaking!

Skiing. Hmm god Ilove to be able to have the ability to just go skiing any old time I want to

Family and home. This is home and where my family is, need i say more??

Cheaper beer. Oh and it is stronger lol

Trees and ski. You know I never saw the stars when I was in the UK Here i see the stars every night !

Canada day! we are so proud of it here you know

So there is a bref lol list. I am going to say this though, I crave england. If I had the means an the money I would live there. I seem to have a connection there that I do not have here. I have friends I miss more then the world and that willalways pull my heart strings. I love Canada and it is my " forever home" but there is a emotional pull towards the UK and and comfortability there. I felt more at easy in my skin in the UK hen I ever will here.
Here I feel out of mydepths as though I will never fit in anywhere. I am more of a loner here and I seem to ge down much more quickly here and find it hard to pull myself out of it here. Where as in the UK I would get down but it would last almost seconds.

But I made the decsion to come back and I am back. I am not one to back down from a challenge so I am sticking it out but some times I need that encouragement and friend base.
I need more of that in my life I think
Lonely and awkward is never a nice feeling you know.....

My Neurotic Weekend Away with Glamazons....

2007-09-05T10:22:00.000-06:00

So this Friday I am off down south to Calgary. Aron one of my oldest friends who I have mentioned in previous posts has kindly invited me. It is the Spruce Meadows Masters for show jumping.
For as long as I can remember I have had a great connection with Spruce Meadows. It is the place where stuff is made of dreams. It is stunningly beautiful and the most amazing show to watch!
So yeah I am very excited about the Masters part. I am however some what nervous about the people stuff. Let me explain * be warned Louisa neurotic shit about to commence*

I am a pretty “ ordinary girl” I am not a glamazon or a skinny mini nor am I a cheerleader type. I am a normal ordinary girl. Aron however is a glamazon and pretty much all her friends are. Now do not take this the wrong way. In no way is Aron rude, snobby mean or like the “ Mean girls” in the movies, she to is actually a very normal girl. But I am still worried I am going to feel so out of place and awkward. I am normally pretty good at putting a show of being A okay on however this one is going to be a hard show I reckon.
I have worried about what to wear for the last 3 weeks SERIOUSLY 3 weeks. See we are going to 2 of the hottest clubs there as VIP’s and so will be going into full blown glamazon territory!
I actually at one point considered backing out and begging off. I voiced this concern to Amason the other night and he promptly kicked me verbally in the ass and advised me that Aron would actually be hurt if I did not go and that she genuinely deeply cares for me…guilt trip worked no backing out for me.
SOOO I am going to put on a damn good show of it this weekend. I am going to try and not let my neurotic thought patterns drive me over the edge and just get on with it! So I will enjoy myself, party the nights away and stare in awe at the best riders in the world during the day !
So wish me luck….. I actually think I may need it this time to hold myself together ……

Its September ...God damn Its September People

2007-09-02T22:12:00.000-06:00

Do you realize it is September ?!?!

Its exactly 3 months minus a few days till Christmas
It is exactly 2 months and 10 days ( roundabout) to Thanksgiving ( for fellow Cannucks)
Its 2 months and 18 days ( sorta) till my dan 29 th Birthday !

God this year has gone so quickly. It is so true what they say. As you get older life seems to begin to fly by ! I do wish it would slow down ! I mean there are so many things I need to sort out in my life and I seem to be running out of blood ti,e. I mean chiefly I need to stop being a near 29 year old living in her mum's basement and strike out and get a piece of land to build on ( oh yeah forgot to tell you that one,I am looking for a piece of land so I can build my own house the way I want it ) yeah so back to that thing living in your mothers basement at 29 is not cool ! Sepember seems to have bourght that realization upon me.
September is still a broken hearted month for me as the end of August was. I have never been one to focus on a boy that is unattainable however for some reason the before mentioned man ( not boy really is he) seem s to have pulled all the heartstrings I possess. I wish it were not the case. I am normally pretty good at steam rolling over things like this moving on and chucking self at some thing new ...not this time!
September however is likely one of my favorite months if I am honest. It is the transition month in the Calander. Its when leaves start to turn. Its when geese fly south in mass flocks. Its when kids go back to school or go to school for the first time. Its the transition into the holiday seasons. Starting with Thanksgiving and ending with New Years eve.I would like to make it my transition month. I wil be truthful and say I am not sure I will be able to but I can make a good go of it can't I ?
I am planning on quitting smoking. I think I have had enough of it now and its time. So September is not only going to be remembered as the transition month but as the " Louisa turned into a fire breathing raving bitch" I am sure you will hear about it if it comes about though people.

So yeah September people its here! So here is to September being the month of clean slates. The month of fresh starts and mending hearts. To the month of beauty and long journeys home.
To one of the nicest months in the year I reckon
Happy September all !

Have you Ever Longed for Something to Happen ....NOW!!!

2007-08-31T21:46:00.000-06:00

Well have you ? Have you ever dreamed that thing has happened ? Have you ever woken up in the morning think that dream is real?
Then have you realized after that few seconds of happy sleepy just woken up time that it all just came crashing down round your wrinkled and tossed up bed at the realization thatin fact you were dreaming ??
Well I have and I keep doing it every single god damn morning for the last week ! I am not sleeping well. I am going to sleep each night with the last concious thought being of that and then realizing if I make it my last thougt it only means I am going to dream about it ...again but at that point it is to late the seed has been planted.

So this is the thing all: My friend from the UK who you have all ready about is seriously considering imigrating over here to Canada. In fact I think he has pretty much made up his mind. I want him to be sure he is making a good judgement call for himself. I know he is but he needs to realize he is it is not for me to decide or sway him ( inside I am screaming MOVE NOW DAMMIT ! )
So I have been doing all this research for him. OH MY GOD ! It is sooo hard to get in this damn cold country lol. He actually completely qualifies for a skilled worker however it is a min 5 year wait!!!
There is a much easier option which is a PNP ( Provincal Nomination Plan) basically if he gets a job offer from a company here and the province agrees that it is a under pressure career and they have exhausted all avenues to find a employee then they can hire him. It takes as little as 6 months but the normal time length is roughly 10 - 12 months !
This is a good thing. Finding a mploer willing to go through the paper work is the hard thing.
So for now that longing feeling will have to just stay put as there is nothing I can do about it. It is out of my hands
Anyone got a job going ??

In Memory Of My Dad

2007-08-30T14:28:00.000-06:00

Today is the 9th aniversary of Dad passing away. He would not have liked us to be moping around, depressed and feeling sorry for ourselves. And to be honest we never really have it is not the style of our family, we do not operate that way.

Dad died of a massive heart attack. He had a severe heart condition for the majority of his life. He was on the heart transplant list but alas never made it. He got 18% of the blood and oxygen to his body where others would obviously get more. It never slowed him down.
Dad was insane. Slightly off kilter and very much a English Gentleman and Officer. He had a voice that could be heard over acres and acres of land ( this may have been why he was going so very deaf ! ) He had a personality that could quite literally take over a room in a instant.

He was also a deeply stubborn man, drove mum made to no end. He was not good at admitting when he was wrong and he could be so A type personailty about things. Like every Sunday dad would empty all the spice and food cupboards and re arrange them ...I mean honestly who does that ???

He helped mum raise 3 pretty damn good kids if I do say so myself. He taught the three of use the difference between right and wrong, what morality and integrity is and most of all he taught us to be true to ourselves.

Nine years has flown by at sucha rapid speed. I was still in my teens and Alex was in her first year of Uni. And as for George, well George had the weight of the worlds on his 16 year old shoulders. He handled it fairly well considering. Mum had the most to deal with. # rather unruly kids one dead husband and a business to continue running and by god she did and still does it.

I truly believe if dad could see us now he would be so imensely proud. He has 3 kids that have done so so well for themselves. He has a son about to become a teacher which he would have lovewd. Alex would have been the absolute apple of his eye working at NATO and being in political sciences and me well I think he would have been proud of my time alone away from home my maturity and well for being me really.
Mum he would have been sooooo chuffed with. She kept the business going she kept us going as a family.
So Dad you are missed greatly but I think you would have to admit your family has done alright but we still miss you every single day

Monthly Update - Yes a New Thing for You All

2007-08-26T21:42:00.000-06:00

So I have decided to do a monthly update of the excitment or the mundane that I have been up to each month. Just thought would mix it up a little. So here we go August update ( yes yes there is like 4 days left in August but honestly I do not lead that exciting a life to warrent waiting 4 days )
August:
August has been my month of re awakening to me, to who I am and what I want out of life ( do not worry funny shit has happened as well as sad shit)
Firstly will get slightlydepressing or not so funny stuff done.
I fell in a round about way love with my best friend ( see previous posts for gory details) it did me the world of good as it made me realise basically I am not dead. It made me feel wanted again. It made me feel great and heartbroken all at once.

My best friend Mason came ( related to above statement) IT rocked. It made me miss the UK something fierce. But it also made me remember who are my true friends in life and people who know me best.
We went to the island ( Saltspring) This was possibly the funniest times of my life.
Between spending time with family and the boys ( Allan Rocardo, George, Chris, and Elliot) it was a laugh a minute. From Hot bozxing in a hot box. To shot gunning beers at 10:30 in the morning it was wild times. We skinny dipped at 2 int he morning in the ocean and we bought large amounts of BC pot ( smoked large amounts) We tried to catch deer , completely failures at it due to the fact simply that deer are pretty damn fast things you know ! Plus a few had some decent sized antlers ! ( note: no deer were harmed in this process...a few drunk/high humans may have been though)
Mason and I had sooo much fun and not only did I fnd myself again but I found Saltspring again and fell so in love with it all over again. I can see it as home in the future .... not yet but the possiblities are there for it to be seen as home.
I went on my first floatplane ride and flying takes on a whole new meaning !
Some sad news. Cleoleo my ever so lovely cat vanished while we were away. I was and still am pretty devestated about it. No doubt he was doing what he loved when he went which was basically ...killing shit. A lot of effort was put into finding him but it has now been almost a month and he is not back.
Not to jump the gun but this weekend I went and got myself a new kitten. I missed having a cat about me as they are such characters. Sooo we have a new member of the family. Boddington. He is a 2 and half month old tabby kitten and a complete individual ! He stood out to me when I went to the SPCA and knew he was the one!
Also this month I threw myself full on into riding full time again. Thunder has taught me how to be fearless all over again. He is massive at about 18 hands high and full of himself. He has helped me with the whole heartbroken thing. I go out for excessively long hacks on him now and it seems to clear my mind completely of all things.
So generally life is good. I have become fast friends with my oldest friend in the world after a 10 year gap . Aron has made me feel pretty chuffed and happy with myself and she has most defiantly helped me realize that really I rock that I am a beautiful girl and life is one big adventure.
So rol on September lets make it a damn good one !

I Swear I am not Normally a Self Pity Fool ...But I am Right Now

2007-08-24T23:17:00.000-06:00

So Seriously those who read me regularly ( I now know there is more then 2 there are threee...I have a lurking anynomous who seems pleasant enough and very polite) know I am normally pretty upbeat or even fiesty at times. I like to have a moan about the things that send me round the bend and back ( like the shitty drivers over here in Canada ...damn the gets my goat) and I do try to keep it light and entertaining most times.
But I also believe that the purpose behind a blog is to be able to let out what is wrong, what angers you and what hurts you. It is for a person the vent and rage.
I want to vent and rage!! I have not let a boy get under my skin as much as him and the strange thing is I have no idea why I have let it do this??
I have managed to stop the random feelings of dispair but have replaced them with doubting thoughts of " di it really happen??" or " OMG what the fuck did I go and do that for" or thoughts of " will he come back ..SOON ?"
I also know that this will pass as everything else in life does. So this thought is what keeps me from turning into a crazy single late 20 something pining for something that will like never come to fruition.
Poor Thunder the horse is taking a battering as the only thing that seems to completely clear and void my head of any thoughts is going out for stupidly long rides with Thunder. Due to the fact that I have to put every thought into the horse when riding him it means no other thoughts seem to invade the empty places in my mind.
So yes I am a self pity fool right now. Yes I feel deeply sorry for myself and well in a odd sort of way what I lost a week ago. Put again " this to will pass"

Falling in Love with Riding Again ...And Possibly using It as A Replacement Too

2007-08-24T08:21:00.000-06:00

So I have completely fallen in love with a passion I have had for years. I have ridden horses since the age of about 5 or so. I used to be really good. I showed regularly and was generally quite fearless...bordering stupid fearlessness lol

By stupid I mean I would push the limits of my abilities sometimes to not so good consquences lol. I have had great horses through out my life and ridden other peoples stunning monsters as well. My first show pony was Miss Piggy...her name suited her completely! She was the apple of my eye solely because she once threw my little sister off...straight into a rose bush, in my eyes she rocked from that day forth. I then had my first full time fully grown horse. Her name was morningside or Gladys for short ( no idea why lol ) anyway she wasa pig I mean seriously that horse looked pregnent every single day of her life. She had no mane as she rubbed it off and a short scraggly tail. She could jum p like no other horse I have ever owned. She LOVED to jump.

She was eventually sold due to me getting taller.

I am now riding Thunder. Thunder has made me fall in love with riding again. He is part clyde part percheron and maybe friesan no one is really sure. When I first started riding him for his owner he was a barrel a over grown barrel. So barrel like that I could only ride him 15 mins at a time as my hips would be in sheer agony! He knew noting about leg commands, nothing about voice commands nothing above a lumbering walk. Fast forward to today and 3 months later, he is a STUNNER, he has gone from the human version of a size 24 to a size 14. He answers beautifully to leg commands and voice. He is full of energy he never had before. He is like riding a giant charger ( he is a giant to be fair) . I adore nothing more now then going home after work and gym, saddling him up and vansihing down the roads and fields for hours at a time.

He has helped distract me from all the drama I have had for the last month in regards to broken heart. He listens when I natter away at him. He of course does not answer me back people ...I am not that crazy..only mildly off kilter.

I would really love to buy Thunder off his owner eventually, and I think he may sell him as seriously he has no idea how to handle him.

So Thunder has been my saving grace the last few weeks and my entertainment for the last 3 months. I look forward to starting lessons in dressage with him taught by Aron. I think he has serious potential once all the weight melts off him.

So thank you Thunder for being one hell of a beast to have fun with ..you rock !

Best friends, Close Friends and Acquaintances

2007-08-22T10:52:00.000-06:00

You know I like to keep my friends close to me. But also I like to havea small friend base. This is solely for the reason that I can then spend and give more attention to the people that mean the most to me.
There are a few that will always stand out heads and shoulders above the rest by a million miles.
Firstly there is Mason which you have all heard about. Mason is one of the few people that I truly let my gaurd down with and well let it out. He also is the one person who can wind me up to no end and knows exactly what button to push to get that hieghtened reaction out of. God he is good at that lol
Amanda was one of my closest friends in the UK. She can make me giggle like no one !! Seriously she does not even need to speak she just needs to look at me and I am in fits. She was there with me through bad break ups with boyfriends. She was there when I was homesick and so fed up. The girl is down to earth and just rocks.

Last but not least Aron. I have known Aron since the age of 3. Yes 3!! We used to rule the monkey bars at Blueberry community hall. We were thick and fast friends. We went through Elementry to High School together. She was popular but never ever rude or discerning upon who she was friends with and I was quiet slightly picked on and really did not mix with school people. We shared and share a strong common bond of a love of horses, the magnificent beasts they are. I actually rode Arons old horse before she bought him ( that horse rocked my world) We drifted apart. She got married ( then divorced) I left the country and tried to find out who I was. 10 years later we got back in touch and you know it was like it had only been 10 hours since we had last spoken. I deeply regret not being here as a friend when she went through rough times such a big regret on that. Aron is one of the few people that can throw a compliment my way and I know it is truly from the heart and genuine! She is one of the most stunning women I know in the world yet she is NEVER big headed about it and I love her for that. She is by far one of the best horsewomen I have ever come across and I am envious ( not in a bad way ) of that. But most of all she is a true and beautiful friend
She has these great quotes on her facebook so thought I would write down my 2 favs of hers

" Turn your face to the sun and let the shadows fall behind you"
" Remember there are oceans between us......but thats not very far"

Rant,Affairs of the Heart, Music and General Babble Really

2007-08-21T21:16:00.000-06:00

So no I am not a complete depressive the old me is still here and I am here to make you laugh.
Well at least chuckle out loud ok.
So first a babble:
Best ever Funny Moment of Trip to Saltspring:
Picture this Three grown boys sitting in a Sauna. They have just taken a naked dive at 2 in the morning in the ocean...needless to say they are cold hence the sauna. There is a lot of booze involved and pot. Boys are sitting there and decide they require a bowl of BC weed...BIG MISTAKE. Turns out smoking up in a hot Sauna is possibly not the wisest of moves. Saying that they are smoking pot drunk so wise moves were never on the cards really were they. And the this line came out of my little brothers mouth. A pure George classic in fact it is so good it needs to be a line in some American Pie style movie:
" Dudes do you realize we are hot boxing ....in a HOT BOX?????!!!"
Deadly serious he said this. I had to leave as I was choking on my own laughter at this point. Sheer and pure genius as far as I am concerned.
psst...your giggling or at least chuckling aren't you ??

Right Rant time:
ITS FREAKIN BLOODY ASS CHILLINGLY COLD!!! It is August in case you forgot and it is cold. So pissed about this damn weather. Woke up in the middle of the night last night unable to feel my arm due to fact that it was actually completely numb!! Need Mason back at least arms were taken care of then .....

Music time: I have fallen in love with music again. I am serious when I say I have not been listening to music almost at all for the last half year. I am not sure why just was not for some reason. Maybe partly because I was missing the British music scene so much. Anyway having Mason here did for some reason through me right back into my love of great tunes and music. It threw me back into the love of music for moments that it suits.
So this is my current list of addictions and trust me they are all over the damn board just so you know:
Tiesto New Album : I adore this album it is my music for driving into work sometimes. There is something about sunrise and letting the beats and sounds of his music just literally wash over me. Best tracks: 1 2 3 and 11 love 11
Sam Roberts: Firstly the man is Canadian so he rocks no matter what. My little Bro George introduced me to him when I came back. I bought the older album he did with the Taj mahal track on it and its my Sunday afternoon rocking to my own beat music. Best track : 1 7 well actually the whole damn album !!
and now for my biggest music addiction
The Fray: This album makes me cry every single song does it. It is the song writing that does it for me. These boys can write good old fashion songs. Songs with meaning and heart. When they sing these tunes you know they mean every word. You know every word is really and means something to them. I cry everytime. Other drivers look at the funny singing crying lady every day lol lol. Best tracks are 1 2 and 3. Track 1 " she is " because it is for guys (
and girls) who do not realize that "the" one is right infront of them that as they say " she is everything I need that I never knew I wanted" I know that feeling. Track 2 "Over my Head" because it is about wanting to know the truth about life and love and simply put being in over your head and having her in your mind head and soul constantly
Finally the one that has me crying all the time "How to save a life" . It is possibly the most meaningful peaceful and gut wrenching songs I have heard. It makes me relive all past relationships I have had both good and bad. It makes me think of the total fuck ups I have made and the ways I have been totally fucked about. It makes me think of all I have and all I have lost presently in a friendship and past in losing my dad. I reccomend you buy this album. Chose a sunny day not a dark day and sit down and listen to it through to the end. It is simply one of the best albums I have purchased. Some would call it slit your wrist music. I call it music that makes you think and that is rare
Finally Affairs of the Heart:
I am still utterly heartbroken...no change there people ..Heartbroken.......

If you Love Something and Let it Go .....

2007-08-20T21:53:00.000-06:00

Have you ever figured out after the fact that you love someone and it is possibly to late? I have.
I have however the belief that all things happen for a reason. I am also of the belief that if you do let someone you love go then eventually they will come back to you in one form or another.

I am generally not a overly sentimental person. I tend to steam roll over most things when concerning affairs of the heart. I suppose it is my way of dealing with being or potenially being hurt or destroyed. I am not very good at dealing with the not so nice aspects of life. I am like bird sticking her head in the sand praying things go away. This time I have realized I cannot deal with things like this.
Do I tell people from now on and forever how I feel about them? Do I pour my heart out or do I keep that brick wall up and again pray for the best? I do not honestly know the answer to that yet.

I do know that I still have a heart I still have feelings and I can still love endlessly if I let myself. One thing I will attempt not to do is drown in saddness and self pity. If things are meant to be then things will happen for me and if they do not then that is life and fate.
So yes maybe I do believe in the old saying of
" If you love something let it go. If it loves you it will return"
Just maybe that will happen to me ...who knows

Off To London !

2007-08-20T21:45:00.000-06:00

Thats right folks I am off to London...not for good. But for something I need to do. My heart is telling me that I need to go over there and re visit the last 6 years of my life in the UK.
But this time I am not going alone and well frankly not for 6 years ! Obnly for 10 days. I am taking one of my oldest and closest friends, Aron, to my country of love.

We are going for Easter. I found the most unreal penthouse right on the embankment of the Thames in Westminster. It is a unreal deal of 1400 for 9 days! the place is stunning.
I will not deny I am beyond excited about this trip and I could not think of a better person to travel with then Aron. I have known her all my life since the age of 3. We had not spoken in 10 years and when we started up again it felt as though it had only been 10hrs !!
So London watch out baby here we come !!!

That Lost Feeling

2007-08-19T14:00:00.000-06:00

So now for the downer post.

This holiday has awakened something in me that I had forgotten about anf forgot I possessed. I need someone in my life. I will willingly admit that I was so wrong when I said that I like being single....I do not like that feeling.

I potentially fell for my best friend...HARD ! But you know what its a good thing as it did me good. All we did has in no way destroyed or changed our friendship I am thinking it actually made it that much stronger.

But now that my house is empty without the sarcastic and witty snips coming out of his mouth I feel so lost. It was never in the 6 years of knowing him my intent for this to happen and evenwhen it began I was very very resitent thinking it would only end in tears. In a way it did but not bad tears all good ones.
I am not so niave to believe that it would go anywhere. Firstly there is a entire ocean between us and secondly we are at completely different places in our lives. But he knows I am sure that I love him more then he can imagine and I would never stop and thats more then enough for me.

Leaving the airport gate yesterday was likely one of the hardest most heart wrenching things i had to do but you know what the key words are that I had to do it. I was ot a bubbling girl wailing. I had one break of very small tears pulled myself together and drove home. I drove home knowing I can be wanted and loved. I drove home knowing I had to change things in my life. I have to stop closing myself off to all possiblities.
So thank you Mase for teaching me that and so much more
Luv ya !

What I Did On My Summer Holidays

2007-08-19T13:12:00.000-06:00

So I am back all ( yeah there are like 2 of you that actually read and even then no one comments. But the blog helps in keeping my sanity sometimes ) I am posting twice today a happy happy post and a slightly down post. So getting the happy one done first ...like to see you all flop in depression when you come off the high of a happy one lol )
I will be writing regularly now as think I really need to so I can get things off my chest and well just sound off.
So on with the happy happy post all. My best friend in the world has been over here from Peterborough for the last 3 weeks and I can safely say that they were some of the best 3 weeks of my life. We took him to our house on the west coast on Saltspring island. He fell in love with it. I am fairly sure he did not want to leave. Plus the trip made me fall in love with Saltspring all over again. See this is the place where mum will retire to when she sells the house here in Alberta. It pains me to think about the house being sold but after spending time on the island the pain slightly eased up.
So I am going to attach pics for you all to see:

Our beach at sunset. love it here very pretty and calm

We took a seaplane to Vancouver sooo cool
Mase giving evils to yet another pic !

"i cush your head" canadians will get this from kids in the hall Bro George and friend Allan stargazing on beach

The top of Mt. Maxwell looking out over Gulf Islands

Mase and I on the deck of Saltspring house

The entire group of us on a night out together

My Recent Hiatus ...Ok Laziness I am a big Liar !

2007-07-30T00:56:00.000-06:00

My apologies for my shear laziness, and that’s what it has been for the most part if very truthful!! I am well not caught a deadly disease, not lost a limb or even come close to one. Would love to say absence has been due to a mad new relationship ….yeah seriously its not been just in case you were wondering. Mainly life has just got in the way.
So here is a update on life recently.
Firstly almost all dental work is now done I am finished with Doctor Death for the year ! I was put to sleep 3 weeks ago and they kindly did 8 fillings for me. I stand by the thought that you have to be a sick individual to want to be a dentist I mean come on so so not normal as far as I am concerned !
Right work is good but incrediably slow. We are lucky though we have pretty much free rein over the internet and so needless to say I am soooo caught up on all world events, wars and gossip I am a walking talking news station now ! lol
Home life is good. I moved into the massive newly decorated downstairs bedroom! Now this may seem nothing to be excited about but look at it this way. First off it is the biggest room I have had in 6 years I am sprawled across a massive room with a new massive bed !! Secondly and more importantly it is in the basement. This is good as it has been consitently above 30 degrees for the month of July and HUMID!! I am never hot down here it rocks beyond words people ! I am happy lady as mum made rasberry jam today. It evoked such strong childhood memories it was kinda like being on a acid trip ! All berries were picked by me in the scorching heat and so I am safe in the knowledge that if there were every a nuclear war I would have masses of rasberry jam to live off…hmmmm jam
I am riding almost every day now and fallen completely in love with it again and with the horse I am riding, Thunder. I want to buy my own pony asap but I am being practical and logical about this and holding off..plus I still like buying shoes and handbags WAY to much to give it up. So yes riding has given me thighs of steel and legs of iron again !! YEAH !! that’s highly attractive isn’t it ! lol
I am off to Saltspring island for summer holidays on Thursday. This is doubly good because my best friend in the world will be landing from the UK Wednesday. I cannot describe to you how excited Mason is bout it all and how child like he sounds it is all rather sweet. So I we will be taking float planes, going to Vancouver, visiting Victoria and generally doing all things touristy as well as drinoing swimming and RELAXIN ! Expect loads of pics to appear of course.
Right that’s it my life for the last oh month or so. Sorry its not more exciting. Will attempt to do some incrediably stupid shit and that way I can post about it for you all !! lol lol

Damn Work Firewall !!!

2007-06-27T12:36:00.000-06:00

So there is nothing more iritating then a firwall at work on the computer systems !! I have been aliviating my boredom by emailing someone I met through my dating thing.,......my day was flying YES ! then it happened
Apperantely there were bad words in the last message he sent me. I had a vague recollection of his email address so have sent a random email to someone who is likely not him so that should gain a very interesting response back.
Saying that I suppose I cannot complain toooo much as work for some reason allows us on : Facebook, Eharmoney, TMZ, Blogs. But for unknown reasons it does not allow me on Neighbours ( australina soap opera ..yes thats sad) so they must be socially inacceptable of some sort who knows and hotmail
Now my day has ground to a almighty halt :-( ....whats a girl to do now?)

General Friday Ramble - No Point Just a Ramble

2007-06-22T10:21:00.000-06:00

Ok a multi topic post today as have all sorts to write about ....yeah right.

First off ( to scare Ms Emma in Toronto even more from the dentist ! ) had my appointment with the second dentist yesterday. Some good news and a whole lot of bad shit. The good news is that I do not need a Root Canal ...Can I hear a shout for joy from everyone please?! The bad news is as stated shit bad. The 7 fillings and the sleep drugs they will be giving me will cost me a massive 1500.00 !!! Which of course will bring me up to my max amount for claiming for the year. So not cool but it has to be done. The dentist however was a lovely guy and one of the few that made me feel less nervous then I normally do.

Secondly. Came back into work this morning and was presented with a wicked Friday treat. I won the company check pool....AGAIN !! 330.00 bucks in my pocket thank you very much.

Thirdly. I have already put the money to good use. I am going to get my hair cut ..FINALLY . Mainly getting it cut due to the fact that I have a fringe going on like a English Sheepdog. I actually cannot see half the time. So I am very excited about that , yes I know it is not that big a dea but it makes me happy ok !

Ok I am now offically hating being single. Yes thats right me, Louisa is stating she hates being single. The girl who loves her alone time and not answering to someone wants a god damn bloody boyfriend ! ok that is so out of my system now. But seriously what is so wrong with me that I cannot get a proper boyfriend like other girls my age. They all seem to snap their bony little fingers and out pops a boy by their side dammit soooo not fair. Ok now it truly is out of my system I feel better.
Ramble and Rant is now done

Dentist AKA Doctor Death

2007-06-21T09:19:00.000-06:00

So I had my first of what was to be many dental visits yesterday…….IT WAS TERRIBLE !!!

I am not sure if I have ever mentioned this but I am shit scared of dentist.
I have this theory that a sick sick individual wants to become a dentist. I mean seriously what posses a person to think “hmmm I want to be a dentist, the person people are most terrified of. Yep a dentist I will be” SICK

So it was only a little filling and it was not even a new one just replacing an old one. I was in tears before I had even set foot in the office. I vibrated my way to the evil looking chair and continued to blub like a 3 year old. They were very very good to me and talked me through the whole thing. I am someone who has to see visually every single implement that is going to be shoved in my mouth (in fact I am like that with most things put in my mouth!)

Tell you what I would be good in a war situation. No damn way a bullet is touching me I tell you. I was like “ catch me if you “ or “ come one I dare ya to stick that in my mouth “ I vibrated wiggled, flinched and twitched my way to the point that the chair was rattling….then it happened …. Well 2 things happened. Firstly the dentist actually yelled at me (could not blame the guy) “Louisa if you do not stop moving I will stop midway and will not continue” and then an even worse thing happened….. My worst fear….not enough freezing!! . At first I thought I was just dreaming it. So I asked them to stop (no asking involved just a whole lot of hand movements and “ hmmmmfuucckk…nowwww” I said I was not sure if I could feel it or not. So I asked them to start again...YEP I FELT IT! So they stuck me again.
So I was frozen on the right side from 9:30 till 4:00. I drooled looked like a stroke victim and had serious problem with smoking…could not grip it in my mouth.
When I finished they said I did a good job but it was the last one. They have deemed that I am far to edgy and I am going to a special dentist to have 6 more refillings and one major root canal…all at once ! And all this will be done while I am asleep oh yeah guys I am being knocked out stone cold for this as there is a snowballs chance in hell I am going through that shit again !! FUCK IT I will pay the extra for the sleepy medicine drugs!!

Warning: I am getting Political Here..It may Not Make Sense

2007-06-16T09:06:00.000-06:00

So I have been following what has been going on with Hammas and Fata. For as long as I can remember there has been some sort of internal war going on in the middle east. So it has got to the point that I have actually completely tuned out and lost sympathy for them all.

The latest clash over the last month though did catch my attention. I want to get this straight the public voted in Hammas !!! They chose them and now they are pissed off. Its not like they did not know what Hammas was like, what their ideology was or their past. They put them in that postion they voted that group in. Call me stupid but you vote them in and then you change your minds ??? bit stupid.

But this is what really got me and the main point of my political rant ( my sister is much better at these rants ) Right so Hammas has over thrown Fata. During the week they were throwing Fata party members over the ledges of buildings, they ransacked the Fata offices and then they rounded them up. Marched them out onto the streets. THEN shot them execution style. So let me ask you this? That would be a pretty clear sign to me that they do not like Fata.

So inlight of that this is what they have said as of last night. " we are willing to work together with Fata" Ok again call me stupid but if you had been thrown off a building chased down streets and then shot execution style would you want to work with them ?? Somehow I think not.

Its the lesser of two evils really Hammas who is religion and Islamist all the way and extremist in everylight or who mass who is the lesser by being well just secular.

A Little Friday Funny for You All !!

2007-06-15T16:16:00.000-06:00

Breakfast at Tim Hortons

Canada vs. USA

A Canadian man was having coffee and croissants with butter and jam in a Tim Horton's, when an American man, chewing gum, sat down next to him.

The Canadian man ignored the American, who, nevertheless started up a conversation.

The American snapped his gum and said, "You Canadian folk eat the whole bread?" "Of course." The American blew a huge bubble. "We don't. In the States, we only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a big container, recycle them, transform them into croissants and sell them to Canada."

The American had a smirk on his face. The Canadian listened in silence.

The American persisted. "Do ya eat jelly with the bread?"

Sighing, the Canadian replied, "Of course."

Cracking his gum between his teeth, the American said, "We don't. In the States, we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put all the peels, seeds and leftovers in container, recycle them, transform them into jam and sell it to Canada."

The Canadian then asked, "Do you have sex in the States?"

The American smiled and said, "Why, of course we do."

The Canadian leaned closer to him and asked, "And what to you do with the condoms once you've used them?"

"We throw them away, of course," said the American.

Now it was the Canadian's turn to smile. "We don't. In Canada, we put them in a container, recycle them, melt them down into chewing gum, and sell them to the United States."

Ain't it great to be CANADIAN.

You know it is BAD when Your Mother is concerned about your " Dating Life" or Lack of One

2007-06-15T10:01:00.001-06:00

So my mum recently informed me that she was "concerned" about my "social" life which translates to by " Dating" life.

I am a bit of a odd person when it comes to dating. I love having a boyfriend however I dread dread the work you have to put in to finding one. Possibly because I fear rejection. So my simple solution is not to bother. This sounds defeatist but really its not. I do like my life as a single person. I am a solitary creature to begin with. I also do not handle having to " answer" to someone well. I am a feircely independent girl so when it comes to relationships I tend to be distant at times but not in a bad way though.

So I have dated every type of guy: The Cheater - strangely enough my most sucessful relationship that is until the cheating of course

The Mummy's boy: that was just to much for me to handle

The Cheap boy: seriuously every little thing was split right down to when he went to buy our weekly sunday papers. He would request the 85 pence it cost him. I have no issue paying in fact prefer to pay however when it is demanded of me and when the person is as tight fisted as a nuns ass I take issue with that !

The way to nice for his own good: CLINGY is the only word to describe it !! I cannot handle clingy !!

So yeah she brought this up and I thought well I am going to have to sort this situation out. I do not go out bar hopping really plus I would never pick someone up at the bar. I would likely not date anyone from work ( although they are hot and they make a piss load of money ...not that it matters really but its nice) My friend base is limited due to the fact that I have been out of the country for like 6 years so I do not have the base I used to have.

SOOOO I joined up with Eharmoney. Now I chose them because it was not like other dating sites. Basically they put me through barge of questions for my personality test. Then only they see my profile. They match me up with like minded similar people. I am liking it. I have been talking to a few guys and one in particular who seems really nice.

I have not put my picture up as I have this irrational fear that they would run in terror when seeing my pic. It is silly I realize. But due to the fact that I am not a teeny tiny girl, a cheerleader nor a barbie doll I think they will just not bother then...I may be right or wrong on that one who knows.

So I will chat and after a number of emails I will then offer to email a picture through. I have had a few ego dents of them not coming back to me ( WOW that stung) but you know what I am tough girl and big girl. I do not know them from adam so no skin off my nose.

They can make assumptions all they want. Little do they know that I used to BIGGER !! lol anbd that I worked my ass off to lose 85 pounds so thats gotta be good.

So I will keep plugging away at it and who knows something may come of it something may not hard to tell really.

I of course will keep you posted on all future sucesses with my foray into the dreaded dating world ( why cant' I just order a mail order groom?? )

Here as a final note is the picture that I do send when I eventually send it

I actually think it is a lovely picture ...SO THERE YOU SHALLOW NASTY BOYS WHO DO NOT ANSWER BACK ....ONE OF YOU WAS BALDING ANYWAY LOL LOL

Amanda ( georges ex), George my little Bro, ME !! and my lovely mum

I have Been TAGGED !!!

2007-06-15T09:07:00.000-06:00

I have been tagged !! I have never been tagged before so you can understand my excitment right now!!! OHHHH I HAVE BEEN TAGGED ......FINALLY !!!

Objects Within One Metre Of You: 1. my strawberry banana yogurt. I was tempted by the glazed donut when the food truck came but stopped myself. 2. my Coffee cup( empty now)3. my tea cup ( full now) yes I have 2 sweperate cups. And yes I managed to find real normal english tea here !!!wooo hooo
First Names of People You Sat Next To At School: oh this will be fun...1. Aron. we went from preschool ( 3 yrs old) to graduation ( 18 years old) together. We are still great friends. 2. Reece. Kindergarden I beat him up and stole the sesame street phone. When we graduated he remembered and bought me a sesame street phone..I still have it...I am 28! 3. Leanne ( evil girl)0 she stabbed me in the back witha pencil so I proceeded to break her knuckles ( seriously...she was evil though !)

Programmes You Won’t Watch 1. you know I will watch anything ....I am square eyed !!
Favourite Trivial Pursuit Categories 1. Entertainment 2. Georgraphy. 3 . Arts and Lit
Superpowers You’d Like To IHave 1. Flying for sure !! 2. The ability to blow evil people up. 3. Mind reading for sure!!
Newspapers, Magazines or Periodicals Read Regularly1. The papers in Canada are SHIT so this is what I read: 1. BBC news online ( rocks) 2. ABC news 9 American news is not news it is just damn funny ) 3. Heat Magazine( now this is british and when I can get it here ( very very rarely I devour it ) soooo anyone who wishes to post me their used heat magazines just let me know ....I AM DESPERATE !
Songs You Dislike: I only have one song I truly despise actually 2. 1. Barney and his stupid songs I will kill that freak one day seriously hate him !!
2. anything by lilly allen. That girl is one nasty dirty piecve of work and I do not like her what so ever nothing nice about her. She is so unclassy and yuck
Blog Posts of Your Own That You’d Recommend. Seriously none of them I really do ramble on and I am fairly sure at present I have 1 devoted reader and that is it. No one comments except for faithful suburban mum oh Emma does as well but she has babies so cannot expect her to comment the women is busy and working ( yes SM has baby to but she works at home plus secretly I think she likes pestering me to write.) I do not think I am all that good a writer what so ever so I can't really reccomend anything. but IF YOU ARE READING CAN YOU AT LEAST COMMENT I AM ATTENTION STARVED HERE PEOPLE !!!

Oh Sweet Lord this is Beyond Odd and Funny !!!

2007-06-07T11:30:00.000-06:00

Have a look at the following
I found it this morning while doing my daily news cruise through the various websites:

http://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory?id=3253988

Back in the " Old Country" and into the " Old Way of Life"

2007-06-01T13:24:00.000-06:00

So I am a very happy lady right now. I have started to ride again ( horses that is ) and I am soooo happy.

My ass is slightly sore but besides that all is ok. I will admit to being very nervous when I got on to Coco ( I did not name this horse she came with it and I actually feel so sorry for her lol ) but once I gained my feeling back nerves went away and it just felt wicked. So I took some pictures.

Now you can't see it but at this point there is s slight look of terror in my eyes

Not so terror ridden now and amazingly very comfortable !

looking HOT !! lol lol Thunder is the moose int he background. Will be ridding him on Sunday. Please note the height difference between him and little Miss Coco ..... and then pray for my life ha !

Cuddly BBC Reporter John Sweeney

2007-05-16T12:55:00.000-06:00

Recently a panorama story aired on the crazies in Scientology ( yes this is my belief they are nut jobs as well as it being a cult by the way crazzzziiiesss ! )

Anyway unfortunately Mr Sweeney , the investigating reporter, had a teeny tiny little outburst with one of the guys from " the cult" Now to be fair he did lose it ever so slightly but from what I have gathered he had also pretty much been followed 24/7 by the churchs hired goons....even into the bathroom.
It has been reported on the ABC news website and they have people commenting on it ( most saying that the sceintologists are crazies as well) . The below comment made me laugh out loud. I believe it is one of the funnier things I have read in a little while:

" I took a look at his verbal outburst. His was direct and forceful, but controlled. In some cities, that would be considered a hug. Not necessarily cuddly, but a hug none the less. "

FUNNY !

Defining Kate Moss's Extra carilcular " Hobbies"

2007-05-09T12:32:00.000-06:00

I think that this is one of the best pieces of commenting I have ever seen on a news website about a articale.
There is a great debate going on over here due to the fact that Kate Moss has designed her clothing range to fit only 0 - 6 women ( man she needs to fire her business planner !! they suck)
And someone wrote the following in regards to Miss Moss

"Kate Moss has a modeling career, not a "role modeling" career. Her only job is to wear/design clothes. She has the right to live however she pleases and she is not obligated to live her life for anyone but herself. People use their spare time to engage in numerous types of activities. Maybe you like going to church; she likes doing blow"

Oh lord oh lord I laughed my big fat ass of at that amazingly funny bit of writing and commenting ! SOOOOOOO FUNNY !

If Only I Had A Dog Small Enough

2007-04-29T11:36:00.000-06:00

When in Vegas we went into one of the many designer overly priced shops and found the most amazing store !

Effectively it was designer wear for DOGS !! Seriously expensive designer doggy clothing.

If I had a small dog I would have seriously bought some of the stuff as it was way way to funny and way to cute !

I almost bought the below for Brewski ( yes family member I spelt his name right this time) I think he would have worn it well !

Note: The extra small was 30 bucks US. There was no way I was ever going to pay that for a designer doggy item of clothing !

Pictures from The Vegas Trip

2007-04-28T10:30:00.000-06:00

So here are some pictures from my travels to Las Vegas for you all to look at

The Paris Hotel. I loved this place plus I won here as well which may help in the much loved catagory !

The Bellagio. I think this is the nicest looking hotle in Vegas. Just stunning. Plus the water shows are unreal

New York New York. Unbelievable to be honest that they managed to build this it is just so cool.

The MGM Grand. The biggest hotel in the world. We went in and oh my god it is MASSIVE !!

One of the MGM Lions. There were 2 in the habitat. I did find out that they have there own retreat out of the city that they live at. They have very set schedules as to how long they stay in the habitat in the hotel. They were huge the picture dies not do justice on how big she really was

Return From Sin City

2007-04-28T10:11:00.000-06:00

Well I have returned in one piece from Las Vegas. I LOVED IT !! I also came back richer as well !

Right firstly the gambling. I won on Roullette. That was a smaller amount, I think it was about 150 to 200 bucks. But I won big on a random slot machine! I hit 3 doubles on a max bet spin of 3 quarters and walked away with 550 big ones. I efectively won back all the money I spent on cloths ( more to come on that by the way) and the money I spent on gambling.

So the hotel was just lovely. We were 1 block away from the strip right behind the Flamingo hotel. We upgraded to a 2 bedroom suite which was just luxury big time. We had a choice of a hot tub and BBQ area or a unheated pool area. We took the hot tub. There were 18 pools in total and some heated so it seemed the better option and it was.

The weather progressively got hotter through the week. So on our last day it was 93 degrees so about 34 degrees celcius, so needless to say I am brown brown and a bit more damn brown !

Now for the shopping ohhhhh the shopping. Mum and I went to Saks 5th Avenue outlet store. Get this we bought 4500 dollars worth of cloths hand bags and perfume for roughly 500 dollars. Seriously we did ! I got the most beautiful bronzey brown satin formal even skirt reduced from 450 dollars to 42.00. I have a brand new wardrobe from formal right down to casual. We bought so much stuff that we had to buy a new suitcase as we just did not have enough room. I bought 6 damn BRAS !! they were so cheap like 4 bucks reduced from 40 cheap. I am very happy.

Our flights down there were terrible. There is something that needs to be said first though that I believe is linked to this. I am terrified of little people, midgets and dwarfs. I feel horrible about this phobia but it is so true. I get cold sweats and panic. Anyway A midget checked us in at one point in the journey and I think he knew my fear. We missed our connection after flying from Edmonton to Calgary. So rather then flying from Calgary to Denver we went to Vanouver then the Vegas. SO it was very long.
WE thought our flights back went really smoothly considering when we got to Vegas airport at 5:30 in the morning it was hell on earht. The luggage belt broke down there were lines everywhere and I almost did not make the flight as was singled out for special security thingy. Was really odd. I had bought 4 cartons of marlboro smokes ( 1 carton being the limit) but at a price of 32 bucks each at some little shop in Vegas I had to. Well I put 1 in mine 1 in mums backpack and 2 in her suitcase. When we got to customs mum knew straight away she was going to be pulled over and Suzy had a feeling she was to. I went straight through muttering like a crazy that I was going to lose all my cheap fags. So I stood outside or what seemed like hours. Then the perfect thing happened. Mum and Suzy came strolling through, no bags in hand, and informed me their luggage was lost !! YES ! this means I will get my fags ! Side Note: The have found the luggage and I am currently sat at home waiting for them to come with them.

So all in all Vegas was great a little overwhelming. But it is one of those cities that you have to go to not taking seriously what so ever. YOu have to go there with the sole intention of having fun and enjoying yourself. If you do this then you will love it for sure. I can now see why people take yearly trips there as there is something strangely appealing about it and something that draws you to it. I will go back and will go frequently even if just for the AMAZINF SHOPPING !!!

Everybody Meet Bruskie ...Super Dog !

2007-04-18T21:19:00.000-06:00

I am pleased to introduce you to Bruskie. Bruskie is my brothers roomates dog. He is a Boston Terrier puppy and he is I believe 7 months old. You just want to eat him up!!!

For some reason it appears that he is winking at the camera. The reason he looks like he is grinning inanely like a crazed or possibly high dog is due to the fact that moments before the picture was taken he had actually managed to inhale a entire rawhide in his mouth ( it was stuck there)

His Likes:

Chewing on metal ( seriously he is currently chewing his way through a socket set )

Chewing on pens ( not sure why, but honestly does he need a reason ? I think not somehow)

Sleeping on any open air vents ( I mean come on when you got hair that short you would to!)

Naps ...man this dog naps and feels like 1 ton weight on you when he does

His dislikes

Walks

My New Look ....EXCITED !

2007-04-12T16:00:00.000-06:00

Yes I have a new look !! Done for me by Suburban Mum. THE WOMEN ROCKS!!
I am, as you can likely tell, excited like a puppy who has seen his own damn shadow ! THIS ROCKS !!

Conversation I had With My Mother 5 Minutes Ago

2007-03-28T21:14:00.000-06:00

So its like half 9 at night.
I am in bed getting ready to sleep ( I wake up at half 5 in the morning)
Mother is washing her face getting ready for bed.

And then this is the most entertainment I have had in a little while as follows:

Mum: LOU !!!
Me: Yes ???........
Mum: You know when they do those analysts on your face?
Me: Right ....
Mum: You know the ones to tell you what shape your face is ? MINES TRIANGULAR!!!

( I am rolling my eyes at this point next thing I know she is right in front of me. Grinning inanely with fingers shaping a triangle around her face )
Mum: SEEEEE !!! ITS TRIANGULAR !!!!!!!
Me: Right and ???
Mum: ITS TRIANGULAR !
Me : ( laughing uncontrollably) You do know I am going to blog this don't you ?
Mum : OH FUCK !!!!

Always entertaining in this house !

Want to Blow it up and Hang it Up

2007-03-24T22:27:00.000-06:00

Possibly one of my favorite pictures of my not so little bro George ( in the green ). Joining him is Ricardo otherwise known as " Brown Boy" and on the other side Alan or known as " Dancer Boy'

These boys make me smile. Make me damn near wet myself with laughter. Make me cringe with there very boy like antics but most of all are great friends and of course a rockin little brother added in there as well !

Trying not to Panic ...Breathing ... In ...Out ...In...

2007-03-19T09:26:00.000-06:00

Well I have been thrown in the deep end at work in a big way. My lovely boss lady is currently sunning herself in Mexico while I crap my pants in windy cold and snowy Edmonton.
I knew that this week was coming from the day I started a week ago but chose to ignore it as if it did not exist. Guess what? It exists everyone.
Its not that I do not know what I am doing. But more the fact that my safety net has vanished and I am currently free falling into the world of steel orders! Considering the fact that up until 4 weeks ago I thought there were 16 inches to the foot (yes I now know that this is not the case just in case you are worried and wondering) makes this task all the more daunting. I have to know about overall diameters, long seam lengths, eccentric and concentric cones, beveling details at what degree and much much more!!

Needless to say it is now a quarter past nine in the morning and I have already had 3 smokes since starting at 8! Not that the smoke knows how to work out how many pieces are needed for the current eccentric cone quote sitting in front of me. But it sure as hell makes me feel more human!

A update on life currently otherwise. I am well actually bloody good to be truthful. I received a credit card from my bank last week which made my day. The reason it made my day is because this means I am credit worthy over here, that my credit score is well above 500 which means I am not the devils spawn in the eyes of the credit people.

I received it Wednesday and I have only used it once, to be sure it works of course, for 2 vests from Old Navy (my fav store ever) and a new fancy dog collar for Penny.
So I have been behaving myself with it. I did not use it once over the weekend.

The new gym I am now a member of ROCKS!! It’s called the world health club and it has TELLYS! Wooo hooo! I just plug in my headphones on the cardio machines, change to what ever channel I want to watch and pound my ass away basically.

There is the usual crowd of no neck brigade’s old people and Twinkies. However this lot is at the extreme end. Firstly the no neck brigade is not limited to just grunting men but women to! I have never seen so many steroid loaded muscle bound women in my life. They do make me feel slightly inadequate. However at least I know that if I date a guy they will not be terrified I can snap then in half as easily as a damn straw. The men really grunt I mean loudly grunt sort of reminds me of rutting dear.
The old people are really old and all look like they are about to drop dead on the treadmill. And the Twinkies (girls fully loaded in Lycra and makeup) are the extreme end of make up and Lycra. Seriously I thought one of them was about to burst out of her excessively tight lycra top as her fake tits were at least a G if not bigger, I could not stop staring at her.

I am pages away from finishing the latest Jilly Cooper book. Yes I know it is trash yes I know it is smut but damn I love her. I have read every single one of her books and can safely say I have never ever been bored. So I am slightly sad that I am almost finished it. I wish Mrs. Cooper would write smaller books so it did not take her like 4 years to write just one book!

Introducing Hamish: The worlds Most Clueless Dog Ever

2007-03-11T11:00:00.000-06:00

Everyone this is Hamish

As I had written previously I had been Dog sitting Hamish for 4 days. These I can safely say were the longest most sureal 5 days of my life. I will now give you a blow by blow of my long days with Hamish.

For your own information Hamish is a Gordon Setter. He is not very old I think he is like 3 or 4 years old. I also believe his Mummy and Daddy paid big bucks for this pure bred mutt.

Day 1 and 2:

I was lucky as these were not full days with him. They were week days so I only saw him in the morning and the afternoon. I did however have to take him for his morning walk. There is no escaping this walk as he is clearly a very routine orientated dog. Seriously I would not even have my feet on the floor before he was spinning in endless circles, the spinning by the way is never ending. Even funnier is when he stops spinning he looks drunk and kind of staggers about for a few minutes due to the fact that the room is likely spinning and he has probably scrambled the one brain cell he does own.

The walks were well ...death defying! It was ice everywhere. This is not helpful when you are hanging onto to a leash at which the other end is a MASSIVE dog pulling with all his might. The second walk was worse when at half 6 in the morning ( still dark might I add) he spotted a white rabbit hoping along minding his own business. This rabbit must have come across Hamish before because I have never seen a rabbit haul ass quite like that one did. Nor had Hamish. As I watched my life flash before my eyes he took off be in tow. It was like a bad cartoon dog running me sliding behind him! Dog is a fool !

Now for the nights. Lori did warn me he likes to sleep on the bed even though he has his own doggy bed. I said oh thats fine does not really bother me to much. She then said ' he likes to cuddle' I thought this was wierd and just brushed it aside. BIG MISTAKE. This dog got up on the bed, threw one meat clever leg over me, propped his head up on my side , he drools by the way, and proceeded to snore for the rest of the night. No matter how much I kicked him yelled at him and squirmed he did not budge. The dog likes to cuddle.

DAY 3.

Day 3 was a Saturday. This meant a full day of Hamish. This was a day I was dreading with every fiber in my body. Firstly we went for a really long walk. My theory was this: walk that bastard to within a inch of his life and then he will sleep all day. It was so warm out so that made it better it also meant that the majority of sidewalks were clear of snow and ice. 45 minutes into the walk with one very numb and dead arm he managed to find the one bit of ice in the area and pull me to the ground. As I bumped along the rough pavement I thought' Just let go of the leash, and tell Lori and Murray that someone stole the dog' The only thing that stopped Hamish from continuing to run was the dead weight on the end of the leash.

We made it home, me muttering him looking like a stuffed animal with roll-about goggle eyes in his skull. I fed him ( he only eats his food if grated cheese is sprinkled lightly on top) thinking walking then food he would pass out...no such luck.

I took a look at the damage he had caused me from my fall. Few scrapes and brusies. So I thought right they have the most lovely bathroom I am going to have a hot bath. So I got everything ready. But some lovely lavender bath bubbles in got my towels ready blah blah blah. I went down stairs to get my book. As I was down there I thought ' where is the dog? why is he not drooling behin me?' Ran all the way up the stairs into the bathroom to find.... Hamish in my bath covered in bubbles barking at the reflections in the mirror I was in shock!

See Hamish has a thing with anything shiny or reflective. He goes mental, he barks forever, his whole body quivers and he foams at the mouth.

So the bath was a no go. I had had enough he was going outside in the back yard and staying there. After about a half hour and none stop barking I felt bad and thought I should bring him in. There was a small problem in this though. Everytime I opened the back door the sunlight caught the window hence causing a big long shiny reflection to move across the deck...Hamish lost it ! It took me 3 HOURS ! yes 3 hours to get him in the house. In the end I had to chase him around the yard and the only reason I caught him is because he decided to take a leak. So in a distracted moment I snatched him in mid flow !

DAY 4 - The last full Day

After another bear hugging night and being covered in drool I decided to take Hamish in the c.a.r , see you have to spell out the word because he loses all control at the mention of word , he loves the car. We were going to visit mum in the country.

I got the funniest looks, so many double takes and sheer belly laughs from passing motorists, and here is the reason why: I drive a gold , not big and certianly not big enough for a Gordon setter. He insisted on sitting up front on the passenger seat. His ass was actually sitting on the seat his front legs standing where himans would put there legs. What made the picture was the way he rested his massive head on the dash fast asleep blowing drool all over my window ( it took me 2 hours to clean Greta on Friday because of this)

There are so so many more things to tell you but have to stop now. But I am sure you get the picture that this dog is like no other dog out there.

The Story So Far .....

2007-03-06T21:24:00.000-07:00

Right so I am super busy ( still alive I promise you that Suburban Mum promise you )

So far in the last week:
Learning endlessly at new job
Driving a total of 100 km a day round trip
Signed up to new gym ( love it many posts to come of my fellow gym members such as the no neck brigade)
and the worst .....
have been dog sitting ( thank christ i am done) the stupidest dog in the world !! He goes by the name of Hamish. He is a Gordon Setter and god missed him when doling out the essentials like a brain. Prepare yourselves for the most pant wettinly funny entry of my 4 days with Hamish

So I promise you all a very good stint of posts by Saturday morning. These will include various pictures and endlessly ' Louisa funny' stories
Hang in there don't leave me just yet I promise you the good stuff is to come
Love me
Louisa x

Gainfuly Employeed

2007-02-18T08:52:00.000-07:00

Apologies for the recent absence. It has been a manic week and a half.

Firstly I was put ona temp job by mum which was not to bad although extremely BORING !! Played ruby receptionist for a week. Lord above it was soooo boring. Could do that all day.

But more importantly relating to the above tittle ....I FINALLY HAVE A FULL TIME JOB !!!! I am one happy lady right now. I got a call from another agency mum sent me to on Wednesday for a job they just got in asked ' was I interested?' my response ( bored out of my tree at the time being Ruby Receptionist) was ' Hell yes please!'
I went for a short notice interview on the Tursday at noon and by Thursday at 4pm I had the job, turns out they liked me ha ha

So basically I am doing a similar job as to what I was doing at Belden. I am inside sales but not for a cable manufactoring company but for a major steel fabrication company. They make all the big vessels that are used up in the oil fields in Northern Alberta. It is a much smaller office then what i am used to, basically myself and one other who is my boss( she was really nice liked her) We are not even located in the main building where all the others are. We are in the back of one of the major shops in a tiny somewhat dirty office ( dusty due to the welding and metal) surrounded by welders everywhere, yes the vast majority are men, think there are about 3 women welders. When I had the interview they asked me how I would be in a very male dominated work enviroment, I said not a issue. They also warned that the boys tend not to be to politically correct, I said nor am I , think they liked that lol
So I start Tuesday morning ( Monday is a bank holiday in Alberta) and I am really looking forward to it.
I am making effectively more then I was in the UK at a job that I think I am going to like just as much as my UK one.
Will let you know how the first week went

Cameragate is Over.....I Have Pictures Finally !

2007-02-04T09:08:00.000-07:00

Yes you read correctly camergate is done and dusted

The secretly hidden camera cable has been found. I have no idea where it was. Basically mum went on one of her mad ' The clutter is getting to much for me' swings. SHe started pulling things from shelves and presto there was the usb cable.

SO I have a huge amount of pics that I want to post however I have no idea which ones to put on first. Or if I should do them in groups and themes. So rather then stress over the decision ( yes I would stress out over such a tiny thing trust me) I am just going to put the ones I like best up. There will be no ryme or reason. There are New years ones, Skiing ones, Philapolooza 2006 ones, and Robbie Burns ones. So here we go people !!

Ricardo ( Brown Boy ) and Phil. Phil was back on leave from the Dutch Commandos in Afganistan. So the Boys decided that they would create the best damn party for any solider called...Philapolooza 2006. They even had shirts to wear with it printed on them ! Needless to say as you can see the amount of beer they drank that night made them all suffer endlessly for days !

' The Boys' This was pre Phil arriving. George Brown Boy and I indtroduce to you Alan, otherwise known as dancer boy. Alan is a Ukranian dancer. Now to some you may thinking the dancing thing is uncool but I beg to differ. This would be how Alan picks women up. You ask how? Well when at a bar party or any alchol supplied event Alan does back flips all over the place. THE GIRLS LOVE IT!

George and myself pre New Years. We actually look pretty damn spiffy if you ask me !

The Bull! As stated in previous posts only in the province of Alberta is there a mechancial bull ! As you can see George was ridden that bitch like his life depended on it

George possibly drunk what do you think? Note the soaking wet hair, the untucked shirt, the belt that is well not really done up all that well and most importantly the open fly !

Think that will be all the pics I post for this entry. I will post more from skiing and Robbie Burns night later today or in the morning.

Want to Read a Good Book ?

2007-02-02T22:18:00.000-07:00

I read endlessly. I read at every possible moment I can. I can never get enough of it and consider this a acceptable and good addiction ( there are not many of these as I light yet another smoke ha !)
I am so addicted to my reading that on some occasions it can cause issues. For example, I cannot fall asleep at night unless I read. Unfortunately once I get hooked I cannot stop ( I get hooked easily by the way) and next thing I know it is like 3 in the morning and I am fighting of sleep like a 2 year old and drooling ever so slightly ( this could possibly explain why I am single ?) Even worse I insist upon reading even after coming home from a night out on the town. Now reading when drunk is not reccomended and there should be warnings on books for this! I have on many occasions started to read after unhealthy amounts of booze and well ended up hailing the white god in the bathroom due to the motion like sickness the reading causes. I have also while drunk realised I am attempting to read the book....upside down...I had problems with that one.

I got this obbsession for reading from my parents and I thank them for that. They took our TV away one year when we were kids when they realised that the TV was our god and we refused to work because of it. We came home one day and Dad had taken a knife to the cord....TV rendered dead ! We went without for almost a year. Of course I hated it at the time, but I look back now and think brilliant idea.
I had so many books in the UK. I had quickly realised I would not be able to bring them to Canada on my return. I had to sell those books ( damn I love ebay and the money I made from them) and it was hard. Nothing pleases me more then bookselves upon bookselves of books I have read and loved, the more the better.

So 2 weeks ago I decided I wanted to read a book before seeing the movie. When I saw the adds
for The Children of Men I wanted to see that movie faster then you could say movie. But then I heard a radio ( another healthy addiction of mine, the radio) interview with the author of the actual book and thought hmmm reading that first. Listening to P.D James talk about it got me hooked and apperantely a whole lot of others hooked. I went the local library to get it out and was told there were 120 people ahead of me. I bought the book.
I bought it on the Friday night and Sunday morning I finished it I have never been so sad to finish a book as I was that one.

So if you want to read a book that grabs you from the beginning chucks you about a few times turns you into a drooling fool at 3 in the morning then this is the one. It is by far one of the best books I have read in such a long time.
Read it. Then tell me what you think I want to know what others think.

Loving Other Peoples Blogs Right Now and a Update on Cameragate

2007-01-30T21:47:00.000-07:00

So I am loving others writings of late. I find myself lying in my old room ( since moving back to Canada and living with mum I have reconnected with my youth. I am in my old room with the same smiley face light fixture and the same scary window that I thought owls hung around as a child ready to snatch me ...I was a melodramatic child) till late in the night 'trolling' the blog world.
There is something strangely appealing and intriguing about reading about others lives and trials. There is something educating and amazing about it.
Admittedly it makes me extremely jealous that I am such a crap writer. But even more importantly it proves to me that I am not the only average person in some bedroom writing about... well any old crap.
I seem to have a continious stream of thought and when I write on my blog it is exactly what is running through my brain at that point and onto the key pad ( hence the shit spelling and the never ending sentences) I have noticed I am not the only one to do this and it rocks people !!

So anyway there are a few blogs that I read everyday , some what stalker like ( sorry ). It gets bad as when they do not post for a bit I start thinking ' god damn write something for christsakes !'
http://www.suburbanmum.com/ is a regular for me. I just love the way she writes. It is too a never ending stream of thoughts. Plus her site is whickedly set up and I always love visiting it ( I get jealous when I look at Suburban mums site ! )
http://www.dooce.com/ if you do not know about Heather Armstrong and the Armstrong clan then you have been living in a shack under a rock in siberia. I can only highly reccomend you get over there and read her. She has the ability to make everything so fucking funny people. Personal favorites are when she posts the various amounts of hate mail from readers. The most recent from a hate mailer named ' Catherine' caused sheer outcry including 3 comments from myself. She is whicked and part of the reason why I love blogging.
http://www.wittydomainname.com/index.html Lisa is sooooo coool. No one writes about their pregnancy like she does. The ticker on baby blog is worth it alone for the weekly countdown to birth and the new comments under it each week sample of comments such as the following: Mommy's glad her morning sickness is subsiding. Just wait till she sees the stretch marks and varicose veins I've got coming for her !! I'm 20 weeks and 3 days old, only 137 days to go !

So these are the mommy ones. I have no idea why I like the mommy ones so much considering I want nothing to do with the life suckers I call children but I do there is something extremely funny about what they write about. They have all written things that have made me laugh cringe and even cry like a year old. They know how to write and it is cool!
I will list others that I read in a next post.

Now update on camera gate. I have yet more great pics on mums digital camera. Being Scottish from my Dad we went the the 15th Med companies Mess dinner for Robbie Burns night on Saturday. I was looookkkinn FINE !! black ball gown hair down slap on and heels. I have pics to prove. I still have no usb cable !! Her safe hiding place has yet to reveal its self. I went to the camera store to buy a new one...... NOT POSSIBLE ! she has a odd ball camera and the cable has to be ordered direct from the camera makers. This of course blows dead goats big style. So the plan is to rip the house apart and find the fucker
Future updates to flow
Lou x
( yeah yeah yeah my spelling is terrible so do not bother telling me I already know :-)

And He leads One of the Super Powers of the Free World

2007-01-23T21:29:00.000-07:00

Can George W Bush ( or knobhead as I prefer to call him or Giant Ass Monkey ) make it through one speech and pronounce all his words correctly ??

Do you think he actually knows what half the worlds he is saying means ? Highly unlikely

The word is Nuclear pronounced : N-U-C-L-E-A-R

not

N-U-C-L-I-R

You are a Ass wipe buddy !

I also have a theory that GW is in the early onset of dimensia. He always has that look of deer in the headlights
The look of :
' where the hell am I ? Who am I ? What am I supposed to be saying and talking about ?'

Seriously you watch him closely next time (yes I know that may be hard to do for some) and you will see what I mean
Next thing we know this guy will be drooling and wetting his pants

Good Things on This side of The Pond

2007-01-22T21:35:00.000-07:00

Well I am happy to report that some things on this side of the pond are just as good if not better then on th England side ( sorry England)

Firstly Clinique is cheaper way way cheaper!!! I just want to buy the whole damn place out every time I walk by it.
For example I bought my face wash for a cheap 20 bucks the other day. In the UK that would have cost me like almost 16 pounds !! so basically 40 bucks. Plus they have bonus time way more regularly over here then there. You only have to buy 25 bucks worth of stuff then you get all the bonus goodies. In the UK you have to buy at least 2 items to get the goodies. This normally averaged out at a cost of like 40 quid which is a lot of damn money in my books.
Note: Sorry boys who read this I do realise this is most likely inane female chatter but the girls will all know what the hell I am on about ok
Now just as a bit of info. If you want to buy good face wash and evn better skin cream this is what you need to buy NOW :

I used to use the bar of soap which is just as good but this is asier to use and it seems to last for freaking ever as well. Your skin feels clean it just feels damn clean !

I used the gel version shown here in the UK because the UK is no where near as dry as here. It is so light weight and works majic on your skin. Now that I am in Canada and it is the virtual artic tundra that it is I am now using the cream as my skin is soooo dry.

So thats the first thing that is so good about here everything is cheap.

Secondly :
IKEA ! My big blue and yellow mecca. I have professed my love of the swedish haven before but I love it even more now. I had to go there today for mum and can safely say it is even cheaper here! I know people hate it and I know that you have to build your own shit but come on people the swedish furniture kings started a whole new generation of furniture buyers when they created that place. It is my age demographic they were aiming for and lets be honest they did and are doing a damn good job.
I have ear marked every piece of furniture I want when I actually buy my own place ( the plan is summer/fall this year) I cannot wait. I have picked up the ikea big book and I am ready to roll big time

So there you go good things in the frozen north do exist ( not so frozen going up to plus 8 on Thursday HA Art see its not always cold here. Granted I can't exactly go to the lake in a swimsuit but its warm at least)

For Art

2007-01-17T11:13:00.000-07:00

Yes I am still alive :-)

Apologies to all for not writing been a wee bit busy and just never seems to be enough time in the damn day at present.

I am highly pissed off at the fact that I still cannot find the cable lead for the camera and now on top of that the cell phone charger has gone walkies as well in one of mum s 'safe' places. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Right so I have been skiing!!! YAAAAAA! I was terrified. The week leading up to going consisted of me having visuals of breaking my legs.
Do not get me wrong I can ski and I can ski well. I have been doing it since the age of roughly 3. My parents would put me and my siblings between their legs and poles in front for us to hang on to and then push us ( sometimes with force) down the hil ( this was before the time of those handy rein leash thingys they have now)
But the problem was that I have not skied in almost 6 years ! Mum kept saying ' ah don't worry kid it is just like riding a bike' YEAH RIGHT easy for you to say mother.
I have not used the news skis out on the market, the fatter shorter ones, I am used to straight long ones. Well let me tell you the new ski's freakin rock !!!!!

It was like riding a bike god dammit ! By the end of the first day I was cruisin my newly canadianed ass off. By the second I was lighting a fag as I loaded on the chair lift ( this takes skill people trust me) and I went into the ' park' and went of a jump, granted it was a feeble attempt but it was a jump all the same. I did feel slightly stilted when little bro George popped off a jump and did a 360. His buddy Alan, on snowboard, popped off and did a load of grabs, but still I rocked ( bear in mind George used to work on the hills as a lifty and the like so he is amazingly good. I refused to go cliff jumping with him and the boys . Even I know my limits people)

So all in all it was wicked. The conditions are the best I have ever known them to be with a base of snow just shy of 300cm and a average snow fall of like 5cm a night what more can you ask for?!
The weather was good. Was oinly minus 8 or so no wind and sun. Plus the slopes were dea. No one was there. They all got scared off when it went down to minus 28 during the week in Alberta but forgot that Marmot basin has a serious inversion going on. So while it may be minus 20 down int he town of jasper it is minus 8 up in the hills on Marmot.

So I do have pics I will post them I will kill mum for 'safely' hiding the cable.

P.S If you ever want to experince the best skiing of your life and fairly cheap go here I promise you will fall in love http://www.skimarmot.com/ . There are so many Americans, Europeans and most of all Brits there now due to the amazing prices condition and staff
Marmot Rocks People !

My First Sentence

2007-01-04T20:00:00.000-07:00

I was reading one of my regular blog friends entries, http://www.suburbanmum.com/, and she told of her sons new words and more importantly new sentences ( sooooo cute ya could just eat him up ! ) Well it got me thinking about my first complete sentence and well needless to say it was to form the rest of my adult speech life and the fact that I am a potty mouth. So here it is for all and sundry :

I have no idea what my first word was but it was likely the usual thing like ' mum' 'dad' or even possibly ' food ' in fact food is likely what it was knowing myself like it do !

But my first sentence was a whole different ball game. I do personally think that it was a great moment in my life.

When I was little my mum and dad used to sit my high chair facing the deck and back garden in front of the sliding glass doors. I apparently loved sitting there while eating my various amounts of baby mush ( see possible first words above ....Food) .

We had a 2 dogs Annie and Bandit, they were Springer spaniels and well STUPID !! Stupid as shit. They used to sit outside that glass sliding door in minus 20 odd weather and sctratch at the door. Now these dogs had the most amazing dog house. It had huge amounts of bales of hay surrounding it effectively turning it into a giant heated home. Yet they still sat outside that door and whine and scratch. Dad used to stand at that door and mutter to himself and to the dogs as I sat and ate my baby mush.
Then the fateful day came. The usual routine came. Me. High Chair. Mush. Dad. Dogs. Mumbling. Then the routine broke with this fateful sentence that I decided to repeat after hearing dad:

' Those fucking stupid dogs !! ' It was said with the exact same reflection in voice as my dad. With particular strength on the word ' fucking' . Mum says they both stopped dead in their tracks and were rigid with shame.
Needless to say mum was not impressed. And even after dad popping his clog over 9 years ago I do not believe mum ever really forgave him for that one!! lol

So to all you parents out there remember kids hear it all we remember it all and most importantly god damn we mimic it all !!

Its a Happy New Year !!!

2007-01-01T21:53:00.000-07:00

Ohhhhh sweet lord it is a happy new god damn year !!! You ask why it is a happy new year ???? BECAUSE PLEURISY DID NOT BLOODY KILL ME !!! It tried but dammit I won that battle!! So 2 bloody fingers up to you Mister Pluerisy go find another body to attack and poke at !!

So as you can read I am much much better. Here is a break down of the holiday seasons for this newly Canadian girl everyone:

The dread illness stuck around until xmas eve however it was not nearly as bad as it was the few days before. I could at least cough sneeze and fart without withering up into a ball of pain and agony
Unfortunately old saint nic was not on my side for xmas. I woke up xmas morning with a damn cold a pure head cold in its purest form possible. Luckly ( not so lucky for her though ha ha ) Mum woke up with it as well. So the 2 of us suffered through xmas day and boxing day with the damn thing in full steam. This of course did not hinder me in my child like joy of ripping off thoughtfully applied wrapping paper from all presents. The only thing that made the scene different from when I was a child was the massive cup of coffee in one hand and the fag in the ashtray !!!
Christmas was lovely though and it was every single thing I missed in my 5 year absence from my home country and family. In fact it was probably better then I imagined.
THE GIFTS : ohhh the gifts mum out did herself !!! I got the most stunning Fossil handbag which has yet to leave my side ( it is currently right beside me in full view of my bed ) I got books books and more books. This makes me so happy as only my mother seems to know exactly what books to get me as gifts. I have been reading my ass off endlessly. Also got cook books which also have already been put to good use. And of course I got my yearly dose of wedgewood ( those who know me and those who do not will now know I have a small addiction to wedgewood, not so small actually. I see blue I shake and get excited ) There are so many gifts cannot list them all but they rocked!
Hmmmmmm boxing day shopping. My lovely mum gave me 200 bucks to shop with as a pressie and shop I did. I am dedicated to the cause. Even with my leper like lokking cold I was out the door by 9 and in the worlds biggest mall, West Edmonton Mall, by a quarter to 10. I bought lovely things including shoes to match stunning new bag! I did buy the most impractical thing in the world, a white jacket. Again those who know me know that this is tempting fate to the biggest degree! However it has been a week and not a single stain.
New Years: I planned on doing cock all. My plan was to have a bath eat watch BBC Canada and likely be in bed before midnight. New years is not a big deal for me. However my little brown boy friend Ricardo called sad I was SAD IN A BIG WAY and said her had free tickets for me to go out with him my bro our comando dutch boy phil and others and i was to be there no questions asked. I went. I then entered the 5th dimmension of hell everyone...... a country and western bar. The one thing I escaped in the UK was country music. I may have grown up and spent my life in cowboy, prairey, the land of cows horses and wheat but I did not have any like of country music and cowboy hats. I was surounded. What made this situation worse was the fact that I had made the rather adult and stupid decision not to drink and to drive home at end of the night. Without the aid of booze it was even worse. I EVEN LINE DANCED !!!!!!!!!! GOD DAMMIT !!!!! SAVE ME IS WHAT I SCREAMED !!!!!! but you know what I actually had fun. Only in this country,province, and town was there a mechanical bull for all to ride in the middle of a bar !!! before you ask no I did not get on the bull, even if I had been pissed I still would not have got on the damn bull. ( I do have pics of all the others on the bull to share with you ) So new years was fun. I saw it in ( no i did not kiss anyone , why would I they all had cowboy hats on and jeans that would even be to tight for Kate Moss) and left 15 minutes later ...smiling and knowing I had a good time and a laugh with my friends and bmy baby brother.

So thats it for now really. I know I keep promising pics and I do have them. However my mother has this very odd talent of placing things in ' safe ' places and then never knowing where that place may be after the fact. So currently the cable thingy for the camera thingy is missing in this massive house somewhere. Once I find this I will down load and get them on here. So be prepared for a mass amount of pics everyone. Likely by tomorrow or Wednesday.

So love to all for now and ....HAPPY NEW YEAR !!! It is going to be a good one I can feel it in my waters

Sick As A Dog 2 Days Before Christmas ......IT FREAKIN SUCKS

2006-12-23T16:00:00.000-07:00

So yes I have been ill granted only for the last 3 days however a deathly ill is what it is.

At first I and mum had thought I had simply pulled a muscle in my back and thought it would just go away ( after 3 muscle relaxents) ...It did not.

So last night mum had her big Christmas party and I was flat on my back in sheer pain. My uncle Bobby, a doctor of viruses, told me what I had after explaining symptoms to him.

PLEURISY!!!!!

For those of you who do not know what this is here is a brief explanation that I looked up on Google :
Pleurisy (PLOOR-iss-ee) is caused by swelling and irritation of the membrane that surrounds the lungs. It is usually a symptom of another illness. It is also called Pleuritic Chest Pain.
Causes
Pleurisy can develop from many things, including bacterial or viral infections of the lungs (such as pneumonia), TB, lupus, chest injury or trauma, a blood clot in the lung, or cancer. Sometimes a cause cannot be found. Doctors call this ideopathic (id-e-o-PATH-ik) pleurisy. Even though the cause isn't known, the problem can still be treated

Thank you google for freakin me out more then I already was god dammit !!!

So last night after reading this I took 2 aspirins 2 benydrils ( however the hell you spell that) and passed out stone could ( think more stoned then anything)
when I woke up this morning it was miraculously gone !!! Needless to say I was soooo happy mainly due to the fact that I could breath like a 28 year old not a 82 year old.
THEN IT CAME BACK !!! It was like god was laughin off his ass at me and my pain.
This time it has showed up on my left lung rather then my right ( must have decided it was not fair that only one side felt the sheer pain the other was not in ! ) I cannot describe to you all what this feels like. Suppose best way is think of a stitch in your side multiply it by 100 then add back pain in the mix and that's it.
So I am currently flat on back breathing like a dying 82 year old and thinking the world is against me
Other then that so far Christmas is looking fucking great just peachy

A request has been made ..pre waring part 2

2006-12-15T19:48:00.000-07:00

My Little brown friend Ricardo Ernesto has asked me to write some more about him ( although I have no idea as of yet what I am going to write)

Can safely say this right now though : he is sooooooo drunk. He has managed to get 3 litres of beer in his tiny latin body in a very short amoutn of time. He is currently dancing ( or what you may call dancing around the room to i can believe I can fly ... the punk version)
Bare in mind that this is a man who is responsible for a large amount of peoples mental health being a psychologist ( yeah spelt that wrong I know )

But do have to say he does make a lovely latin mental health expert drunken friend although he is odd.

i fear there may be more posts like this through out the night ....YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED THERE WILL BE GUEST POST FROM THE OTHERS HERE

Pre Warning

2006-12-15T19:46:00.000-07:00

I am currently at the PHILAPOLOOZA 2006. Phil our little dutch commando has returned from Afganistan and there is a big party.
So I am pre warning you that tomorrow there will be well...interesting pics and a very hung over Louisa as well !

Have a good night and day all
Lou ( half way to drunk he he he :-)
xx

Having A Tough Time Listening to the Radio here

2006-12-14T07:50:00.000-07:00

So I know one of the things that I am missing most in the UK is the BBC and the Radio over there.
I have been listening to CBC (like the Canadian version of BBC but crap) and a month into being here I wish to throw the damn thing through the nearest winder, take a hammer to it or even let a pack of rabid dogs tear it to little bits.
There is this ingrained ability to make everything into a left wing bleeding heart issue. There is no such thing in the CBC as an unbiased factual based report. There is this constant need or craving on their part to be sooo politically correct
EXAMPLE: Sex trade workers! These are what you would call PROSTITUTES!
Call them what they are stop thinking you will offend the poor delicate senses of Canadians across the country. They do actually know that they are prostitutes guys.
Every second day there is yet another report on how the first nations are suffering and how destitute and down in the dumps they are. Rather then making this yet another lefty issue why not just report the facts. Report that massive amounts of money are given to them; report that those massive amounts of money and help and aid are pissed away. Stop making it a bleeding heart issue.
They other thing that is driving me to distraction is the grammar. These people are broadcasters are they not? If so why is it they cannot seriously CANNOT string a sentence together without making a big pigs ear of it?!
EXAMPLE: I seen a plow truck clearing the streets today.
Basic grammer people the sentence should be said as follows: I saw a plow truck clearing the streets today.
I am fairly sure this is taught in early elementry school.
So my beefs are as follows:
Left wing bleeding heart reporting
Non factual biased reporting
And
Bad god damn Grammer !! ( Yeah yeah do not through stones at glass houses and all that I know )

Oh Yes Sorry I am still Alive and Very Much Kicking

2006-12-13T07:52:00.000-07:00

I HAVE INTERNET AT HOME !! oh god I nearly wet my pants in sheer joy !! ok maybe not as I do have a moderate of self control but only in small doses

So yes I am connected with rest of the world yet again and it makes me do a happy dance every 5 minutes

So all is well I am as stated above alive and kicking. So in point form here are the comings and goings up to today:

Greta the golf still rocks this world and makes me endlessly happy when I drive her ( suburban mum see you are not the only one with a yummy new car but to be fair and also thank god mine is not a 'yummy mummy car'
I have finished my various rounds of interviews for my line of work in the cable manufacturng world. They were not really interviews more like them selling me the jobs which was a bonus. So now I am just awaiting purposals from them ( taking their damn time!! )
I have been temping for the mummy since I arrived back ( always so so handy having a family business of personel agency ! ) so have been making enough money to cover Greta's car payments and insurance and on the note of insurance.......
went to go pay with post dated cheques the 2 remaining payments on insurance and was promptly told they made a mistake and my insurance amount had changed ( I went into the end of the world is coming oh my god please do not let it be to much higher mode in 2 seconds flat) BUT it was good news my insurance is cheaper by 1000 bucks !!! BONUS !
Christmas is only 12 days away and my god have I been shoppng. Boy is it nice to live in the city that hearlds the worlds biggest mall ( seriously it is the worlds biggest mall with a water park and wave pool, ice rink, 2 count em 2 rollar coasters and amusment park, golf driving range, shooting range, yep you can shoot guns in the place, and randomly seals penguins and flamingos ! oh yeah and the endless shops) So I have been buying for the mum for days. Cannot say what has been bought as she reads me so that would be a screw up on my part if listed the various items.
Cleo/Leo the gender confused cat is in heaven over here. He seriously is in his element in Canada and has a new best buddy in the world with old dikker. Mum and I have found endless fun and a new way to get through the dark Canadian winters.... Catnip !! Christ all I can say is it is so funny to watch 2 cats jacked up on catnip trying to lick the hinge on the door! sooooo funny. Dikker takes the form of a old drunk who weaves his mass weight across the room and cleo takes the form as the stupid teenage drunk when he falls off the giant cat tree thing we bought them ...endless fun ...catnip addicted kittys ha ha ha
I am warm! It has been like plus 5 for days and I am lovin it right now
I go to the gym here most days now ( 4 -5 days a week) it is odd though as normally there is the usual suspects : The no neck group of muscle bound men, the twinkies with smeared on makeup and so much licra it is ungodly and the old farts slogging it out. But there is a new group ...touque wearing freaks ( tougues as in winter wolly hats) yes there are boys working out wearing touques ?!?!? WHY I ASK WHY YOU FREAKS?!?!?

So that is all for now. Once I get mums digital camera up and running will take pics, hopefully this week, and post them. I will try and get pics of the overly high cats for you all to get mid day enjoyment from and of course Greta the wonder car.

All is well miss all my friends in the uk so much but I am still very happy to be back here in the great north and really not home sick for the UK. Aside from my magazines and the BBC god I miss those

Thats all for now all

L xx

Say Anything about how warm it is Where You are And I swear there will be words Said to you !!

2006-11-28T12:08:00.000-07:00

First of all before I say anything else I need to say one thing. One very very important thing!! I AM FUCKING FREEZING GOD DAMMIT !! Oh my god I am cold what was I thinking coming back in winter. Right now onto the rest of it now that is out of the way ha ha !!

Yes I am back in Canada!! Cat and I made it in one piece ….. Barely. The flights themselves were just fine in fact they were pretty damn good to be honest.
Unfortunately I missed not 1 but 2 connecting flights. It took me almost 3 hours to clear Cleo through customs and the inspection people. So I missed the first flight then missed the amended time second flight. So rather then getting in Edmonton at 6pm got in at 11:30.

Cleo traveled really well and was so looked after by everyone. He was brilliant with his first flight from Manchester to Calgary. But I think the second flight royally freaked him out. This would be due to the fact that it was just a propeller plane. Really really small probably a lot colder and much louder. Was to funny though because when I got of that plane and the family was all there to meet me we did not know where to get the cat from. So mum went to ask the info lady. She just pointed down this long very empty stretch of airport and said he is on the oversized luggage belt. We turn around and look down this long hall way and all you can see is the cat crate all by its lonesome on this conveyor belt and hearing this rather desperate pathetic meek meow!! he was not happy at this point.

I have settled in just fine with mum and the house all came second nature really. Cleo has been fine as well hide for about 2 days and now wanders around as if he owns the joint. He also insists on terrorizing poor Dikker out rather elderly and very fat cat. He does not take to kindly to this.

I had to pay off (Note: mum paid to be frank) a large amount of parking fines all 600 bucks worth before could re new license and get car so spent the first days doing all that.

Most importantly though is that I have bought a brand spanking new car! She is a 2007 silver golf 4 door. I have named her Greta Gwendolyn Taylor. She rocks! We have already done 2 360”s through 1 major intersection. This would be due to the horrendous weather we got on Thursday. Snow, wind, lots and lots of wind and minus 25 weather. It was like an ice rink. So I have had a rapid introduction into winter driving again.
I have been temping for Mums Company on various jobs to keep me going. However I have had a job interview for the same line of work I had in the UK. I was both happy and a bit let down. I was seriously let down by the basic wage of 35,000 bucks a year. However I was very pleased with the profit sharing scheme. I was shown figures for the last year and these guys walked away with half their year’s wage 2 years on the trot each April. So you are talking about a lump sum payout of like 15 k! Plus they have monthly bonuses of at least 1500 to 2500. He said this is almost a given due to the market over here and everyone is making a hell of a lot of money. So with the bonus it would work out to about 50,000 – 60,000 a year. So I have to think about this. Plus I have another interview with one of my old customers next Friday. Luckily this is an employees marker currently.

So that is it. I will post pictures of all sorts shortly for all to see including: Greta the golf (before I get creamed by a big truck and destroy her), the snow more snow and more snow, Cleo terrorizing dikker endlessly, and best of all Cleo playing on his gigantic new cat tree (they make everything bigger over here) and falling off. This last one was hour of amusement for mum and me seriously was.

Till next time everyone x

Patience Please All ( 2nd Edition)

2006-11-27T11:37:00.000-07:00

Right second time writing this !!

I will be posting a fullsized post soon. I have limited access to a pc right now. But that is all about to change as mum has got wireless and satlite coming ( bring on the BBC !!!! )

Here are some tidbits to keep you all going :

. I have a new car. 2007 silver golf by the name of Greta ( yes I name my cars and yes she rocks this world !! )
. Cleo travelled well is happy and terrozing the existing cat, the old ginger tom named dikker ( secretly we think dikker loves cleo)
. IT IS FUCKING COLD !!! Seriously people todays high is minus 23 it is currently minus 27 !! hmmmm yeah thats cold
. Canada freakin rocks !! I am very happy

Right I will email all of you individually as well when get a chance
will also take pics soon and post them as well
xx

True Wife Confession : I Love this Site

2006-11-16T02:26:00.000-07:00

A few days ago I click on a link from Art's website http://arthurslifer.blogspot.com/ ( I have not clue how to make those useful links with someones name !! I am truly usless when it comes to anything computer orientated just so you know) and I was hooked.

The site is called True Wife confession and it is a brilliant idea as far as I am concerned http://truewifeconfessions.blogspot.com . Basically a load of women and men to ( I think ) confess to all on the site. It is anonymous so no one needs know who you are.

There are some brilliant confessions such as :
Confession #1171Dear Hubby:You know how "we" agreed that we were going to keepthe thermostat at 68 this winter and not "waste money"on foolish things like heat and warmth? Well, I justcan't do it. As soon as you go to work in themorning, I crank the old thermostat up to 75. Roasty,toasty warm. I LOVE HEAT!!!!

there are some really really bad confessions such as:
Confession #1126We've been together for 11 years now. I've alreadycheated on you twice, both times ended every badly asI became immediately needy and clingy to these men. Itwasn't about the sex but rather being around a man whoI found exciting and smarter than I was.Someone who made their own decisions. Someone who hadambition. Someone who treated me badly.You don't know about those other men and I have nointention to tell you. I like to think it's because itwould hurt you too badly and I haven't done it forgoing on 6 years now but in reality, it's because Iwant to keep the door open for other opportunities. Idon't want you looking over my shoulder.There's another man at work who fits all theaforementioned criteria. I know that if I continueworking there we will both end up cheating on ourspouses. I know it yet I am hoping it happens. Idaydream about him and make little excuses to stop byhis office.He invites me to go out with a group of people afterwork but I haven't gone. Yet. I know it's wrong and Iknow it only end in tears. Why am I doing this to us?Why can't you see that I can't be the one in controlbecause I only fuck everything up? Why can't you see that?

There are some really lovely ones as well:
Confession #1077Last night while I watched you soothe our baby when she was feeling sick itmade my heart want to burst. It's so true that watching a man be a daddy canmake you love him even more. 7 years, 3 children.... I love you more than Iever imagined I could.

And finally there are some truly sad ones that maybe want to make you cry:
Confession #1023Hubby,I am sorry I let myself go after having the baby. I hate being fat. I wish I had the sheer will power to be anorexic. When we met I was a size 4, now I'm 20W. It makes me insecure about our relationship and I take out my low self-esteem on you as a defense mechanism.

The point is that these various people feel the need to let these things out. They feel that this is the best and least hurtful way to do it. And to be honest I actually agree with that.
It is like vouyerism on a extreme level as you read through all the confession but you will find you cannot stop your self.
Have to say a large number of them made be laugh out loud and almost spit coffee out my nose as I read them.
Just think it is a really interesting sight ( this is the only way I can think of describing it to be honest )

boiling point

2006-11-15T04:50:00.000-07:00

I am now randomly bursting into tears for unknown reasons.

There is no explination other then possibly hmmmmm..... let me think about this......hmmmm

FUCKING STRESS ! GET ME ON THE PLANE AND FEED ME FREE BOOZE NOW !!

I Just Want to Get On The Damn Freakin Plane !!!!!

2006-11-14T07:35:00.000-07:00

Seriously thats all I have to say I just want to get on the plane like now !!

I am sooooo tired. Really worn out it feels like i have been running on empty for the last 3 weeks. I have not cooked a proper meal in weeks due to the fact that I have no motivation. That and I sold my freezer for £10.00 so not really been buying food ina normal sense. Mainly been buying the 'opps' on the shelves in asda. You know what I mean, food that is about to go out of date and its well cheap !! there is only so much fuckin quiche a girl can bloody eat !

I am mentally shattered and I swear when i get on that plane I am going to pop 2 sleeping tablets neck a few huge glasses of alchol and pass out ( snoring of course as i do that apperantly when i am drunk )

So yeah i just want to get on that plane NOW !!

Life Could Mildly Suck Right Now .... If I let it !

2006-11-13T05:10:00.000-07:00

Well 5 days. 5 days till life starts all over. 5 days till I leave everything behind here. 5 days till I am ..... Well home really. It is a odd kinda feeling you know.

Saturday was my leaving do. I did have a brilliant time however there were a few issues. Firstly that not as many people came as I had hoped (see now I sound like fucking billy no mates, it’s not true I do have mates promise) so I just felt slightly let down by that but that soon vanished anyway.
The main things are the following:
1. I looked fucking fantastic!!! Particularly my legs in the heels and the amazing cleavage I had going on!! I will not blow my own horn to much here but heads turned boys looked at me and it felt fantastic!
2. The most important friends were there and that’s all that really matters at the end of the day right! I have fucking brilliant friends and they were there and it almost made me want to cry in happiness that they were there
3. I drank so so much. Now this could be classed as a bad thing but it was not because I just seemed to enjoy myself more anyway the more I drank!! Plus the booze made me forget that others had not turned up. After a few everything seems great.
And finally........
4. I hooked up with someone! Yes I am a slapper yes I know that this is bad! But you know what.... I could give 2 flying fucking frogs what others may or may not think!! I loved it!! I loved the fact that someone seemed to genuinely find me attractive. I loved the fact that I made no effort what so ever to pursue this person they did the chasing! I loved the fact that I was told I was beautiful (even if he was drunk who the fuck cares at the time it rocked my god damn freaking world everyone!)
I PULLED AND I LOVED IT!!!

There is a down side to all of this though. Obviously I am not going to divulge who this random hook up was as that would be not so nice for the person. I will say this it was not some random drunken boy. It was someone I know through work and it is someone that probably secretly I fancied purely for his cheeky sense of humour I have had the pleasure of dealing with for the last year.
The down side is this: had this been a year ago I would have pushed for things to go further (obviously if he wanted to be not talking stalker girl here ok!) I would have gone weak in the knees thinking about him and well his cheekiness!
But alas I can't can I? Because in exactly 120 hours I will be boarding a plane to go back to Canada with no intent of ever returning. So quite frankly I have not allowed myself to react to this. I have made myself realise this was a bit of fun and that I am leaving this country with a bang .,..... Literally ( sorry mum I so know you are reading this in horror right now)

So I will enjoy it for what it was and leave it at that , thanks Vern ...... (This is not his realy name do not worry!!)

Attack of the killer Geese and Ducks

2006-11-07T02:58:00.000-07:00

( Second time trying to write this as pc is offically possessed !0
When my mum was over here we went to Bakewell in Derby. Amazing and lovely place but also full of ducks and geese.

In all my wisdom and common sense i decided to buy a loaf of bread to feed all the ' pretty ducks and geese' what a dumb ass move that was !!!

They are nasty bastards !! You ever seen the size of a canadian gooses beak !?!? Now try imaging 15 of em trying to get at your yummy loaf of bread as if they were starving birds from third world countries ( bear in mind that i was about 1 of 10 people with food for them so no they were not starving third world birds ! )

See pics below as evidence:

The ducks were not so bad mainly because they are a damn sight smaller then the geese. Note the random seagull muscling in on the act ( shit rockets as I like to call them )

At this point I had noted the evil glint in this gooses eyes as he moved rapidly to the banks eying up my big ass bag of food !!

At this point the goose had launched himself up on the bansk and i could have sworn i heard him laughing in a rather sinister way. I made a very quick retreat while him and his gang of 10 other equally big evil looking birds followed me in a trance like waddle

Note: I do realise my spelling is crap people and yes I do have spell check but seems as thought my possessed pc is not allowing me to spell check today .... so just live with it ok !?

Drunken Sunday Dinner for Friends to Meet My Mum

2006-11-02T03:31:00.000-07:00

While my mum was over we had a big Sunday Roast for my friends to meet my mum.

So mum and I ( yes I helped loads !! ) cooked a big lamb roast dinner and I even made pumpkin pie as I had missed Thanskgiving the weekend before.

Had 4 friends over, Mason and Emma who married last year. Mason is a painter and one of my best best friends in the world the man simply rocks !! Emma his wife studies biolodgy and specialises in ....spiders .... seriously spiders.
Amanda and ian who live together. Amanda and I have been best friends since I arrived in the UK and love her to bits, she works in recruitment. Ian who is her boyfriend is a doll and the loveliest guy out there oh and one of the absolute funniest people I have met, pee your pants funny !!
Anyway the evening was a blast. They all thought the sun shines out of mums ass ( which I am sure it does sometimes ha ) and that the food was amazing. The pumpkin pie, which none of them had ever tried before, was a hit and a half. So much so they all took some home with them in pure joy.
9 bottles of wine later and a Mason who could barely stand up for all the food he ate it has to be said the even was declared a pure sucess.

See evidence below :

The must have pose for the picture shot

Ian taking a pic however when you look at it it seems he is taking a shot of the ceiling ??? and then Amanda and Mason beisde him

Hmmmmmm whippy cream in a can straight into the mouth !!! Nothing better !!! ( this is emma by the way masons wife )

Mason Realising after the whippy cream incident that this was his wife and what had he done marrying her ?!?! ( kidding he loves her to bits

And finally ..... The rockin Mummy !!!

Long Overdue Entry ....Sorry

2006-10-31T11:19:00.000-07:00

Big apologies for the complete lack of post lately. Life has been manic and more manic but also good.

First of all it was my Birthday yesterday. Woooo Hooooo ME!!! I am a big old 28 years now!! Oh the joy 2 more years till 30 relocating back to another country and living alone with a cat oh the joy !

My mum was over from Canada for the last 2 weeks and we had a brilliant time been wicked.
Spent the first week with me here in the UK and we shopped basically. Shopped endlessly!! Which is a bad thing when you are trying to downsize and ship yourself and all you own back to Canada? I acquired yet more shoes (3 pairs in fact) and yet more cloths (to many to list actually)
The second week we went to Brussels to see my lovely sister. We stayed in her amazing stunning flat. Seriously I was so so jealous it was truly lovely. Plus it completely suits Alex to a T was so impressed with it.
Alex took mum and me to the Belga Queen for my Birthday meal on Thursday. It is a seriously posh seriously expensive and famous restraunt. The food was unreal but the goings on are what made the night. First of all was the bathroom incident with mum. Right so we go to the bar as we wait for our table and mum goes the bathroom. So when she gets back she has a peculiar look on her face. She said ‘the bathrooms are very avient garde’ we said what do you mean mum. She then proceeds to tell us that although there are doors it is firstly unisex. I was thinking no biggy been in them before. Then she says its all reflections and mirrors but that the doors are frosted but see through!!!! She advises us to use the left stall as it is more hidden and to kind of huddle in the corner so no one sees us.
So off I went to the toilets thinking ‘Hmm this will be odd’ Get in the left stall close the door and then realise what a tit my lovely mum is!!
Although the doors were frosted and see through, there was a way of fixing that: turning the locking knob on the door. When you did this the glass instantly went white and was no longer seeing through!!! My mother took a pee in plain view of all in a very posh restraunt soooooo damn funny !!
There was another goings on even better though. The 2 tables behind us were very clearly full of famous people. Like hell we could figure out who they were!!! There was one table with a nanny 4 young cute boys and 1 what was obviously an adopted Chinese toddler. The table beside them was the parents. It appears they were a rock group who will be forever known as aging Belgium rockers. Seriously aging!! They may not have been Belgium but they were obviously famous. Mum took some pictures of Alex and I and as soon as she did that 4 massive body guards popped up out of no where behind aging Belgium rockers!!!! they head lady at the restraunt very politely came over and asked if for the moment we could not take pictures ….. We stopped the body guards where scary assed mo fos !!!

So yeah that’s it really nothing else new. Oh yeah
18 FREAKIN BLOODY DAYS TILL I FLY HOME!!!!!!!!! THANK FUCK !!!!

Childish Gross Fun : Hours Of Amusment

2006-10-12T08:39:00.000-06:00

If you offend easily then do not bother reading this. But if you want a laugh have a sense of humor then read away but i expect you to contribute your own ideas once you have read it.

For the last hour our office has been in utter fits doing the below task and had to share with everyone.
As you can see we are a productive office and all have highly important jobs and are all extremely busy as well....honestly we are very important people .......

The minge game involves taking the name of a film or band and changing one word to minge, put it at the bottom of the list with your name and re-post the bulletin...
Sam- How to lose minge in 10 days.
Pagey - Green Minge
Kieran - Saving Private Minge
Pierce - Silence of the Minge
Helen - Honey I shrunk the Minge
Aimée - Wallace and Gromit the curse of the were-Minge
Emu - The Jungle minge
MickeyG- The Italian Minge
Cazi - One Fine Minge
Lucy - Ocean's Minge
Rob - Dude Where's My Minge
Jen - Thelma and Minge

Pascal - My Big Fat Greek Minge
vickie- jimmy eats minge
Greg - A minge called wanda
Teeny Bopper - Its A Wonderful Minge
dan-charlie an tha chocolate minge
Nicole-Whats eating Gilbert's Minge
Ryan-Lock,stock and two smokin minges
Mike - Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Minge
Jim - The Electric Minge Orchestra
Bryony- Jurassic minge
Mike- Dirty Minge
ben - rage against the minge
Jim - Minge! at the Disco
Wes - Minge got fingered
Stef- Bridget Jones's Minge
David - Indiana Minge (and the temple of poon)
Helin - Show Me Minge
Matthew - The Divine Minge
Matt - Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Minge
David - 28 Minges Later
Emma - Don't Be a Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Minge in the Hood
Louisa - Who Killed Harry Minge
david - harry potter and the sorcerer's minge
Yoon - Sweet smell of minge
Louisa- Brewsters Minge's
Angeline - Lord of the Minge

Oh My good Lord My Head is about To Explode and Pop off My Shoulders !! Seriously

2006-10-11T13:13:00.000-06:00

Right I have like 5 weeks before I actually go home for good. After 5 years of living here you would think my life skills will have improved ...... Like hell they have !! This is the current state of my life CHAOS !! MADNESS !! And utter dis - organization !!!!

I have soooo much to do and do I do it ... No I park my ass on the couch turn the telly on and waste the night away. Yeah yeah yeah I do realize this is all going to come back and bite me in the ass 24 hours before I go. But do I think of that. No not until the next morning with a slight hang over from the wine that seemed to accidentally fall down my throat and the feeling of doom and sheer panic.

My mother arrives in 72 hours and I am fairly sure I am going to get a proper good old fashioned ' what the hell have you been doing !!! Do you realize how much time you have left!?!?' bollocking!
This is not like when I was a kid and I could hide everything under the bed and say ' yes my room is clean can I go play now' there's nothing left to hide anything under !! I have either packed it or sold it . Yet with all the packing and all the selling it is like little 'I collect useless shit' Elves keep popping round when I am not home and dumping yet more shit in my 400 square foot flat ( this is a palace sized pad for over here in the UK in case you are wondering)

So yet again I have got home from work today ( after 10 hour day ) said hello to the cat possessed by Satan and parked self on ass and stared into space.

I am at the point where I look round the flat and say ....hmmmm I am just going to leave it all here . Screw it go home with nothing . That's what a fresh start is all about isn't it ????
Yeah right who the hell am I kidding !!!

Right back to crap telly and another class of wine ....( sorry mum )

I am Actually on 25 Peeps !

2006-10-11T13:08:00.000-06:00

I put my name down for 25 peeps months ago and completely forgot about it and to my shock i ended up on it.
So have a look click refer blah blah blah

( hey thanks for visiting all !! :-)
http://www.25peeps.com/
oh here is my pic that you need to click on as well

Happy Canadian thanksgiving !

2006-10-08T11:19:00.000-06:00

Yep it is Thanksgiving back home today.
I have to say after 5 years of being over here I have not really done anything on Thanksgiving. Unlike my sister, Alex, I am not surrounded by fellow Canadians. Where as she is due to working for NATO in Brussels. So at this moment she is cooking a 8 pound Turkey ( you think that's big she was going to buy a 14 pounder but when it would not fit in her oven and the fact that was going to cost her like 200 quid she decided rather correctly on the smaller bird)

So this year because it is my last Thanksgiving in the UK I decided to cook myself something nice as well. I am not a fan of Turkey plus could not find any in the shops so have gone for lamb. Plus I have roast Potatoes , Brussel Sprouts ( hmmm love them ) and glazed carrots.
Currently the cat has parked himself in front of the oven , splayed himself out and is drowning in his own pool of drool.

For some odd reason today has made me the most homesick I have ever been here. This is obviously odd due to the fact that 5 weeks from today I will be back home. 5 weeks is not much at all so being home sick now is stupid but I am.

So I am going to return to the kitchen check the roast save the cat from drool and enjoy myself.
So have a good day all of you and ........
HAPPY THANKSGIVING !!!! Gobble gobble gobble as the turkey's would say :-)

Breakdown : The Bubble Burst Big Time

2006-10-04T00:13:00.000-06:00

Yesterday I finally lost it completely.

For the last few weeks I have been whirling around like a fool being ' organized' for those of you who know me and even those who do not but can tell purely from my writings, organized and Louisa = pure disaster.
I have attempted to make sure that this move home goes as smoothly as possible. I have a little book with schedules in it as to when I am supposed to action what and where.

One of the biggest concerns , other then shipping my excess clothing home ( which I have ups'd on the company !! ha take that you bastards ! ) has been the cat. No I am not the crazy cat lady however the cat is very important.
I was very proud of myself getting this all sorted with Air Canada then all the paper work and the vets etc. Well yesterday it all unraveled like a cheaply made jumper!!
My mum is taking the boy with her on the 29th on her return after visiting Sister and myself. Her flight from Manchester to Heathrow is actually a BMI flight and not Air Canada. Because of this we found out have to book cleo on with BMI separately. Well..... After 4 calls to the Indian call center consisting of me finally screaming give me someone in the bloody UK NOW !! Seriously I did scream it all went tits up. They refused to help me.

I lost it completely and utterly lost it. Started balling like a 5 year old fat kid who just had his candy stolen from him. Blubbing like a baby in the front room. It just became slightly to much and pushed into the giant canyon of moving countries. Mum called said are you crying said yep but I am fine. She said no worries just let me sort it out so I did as mums always can sort shit out ....And seems as though she did.

Turns out probably going to send my boy with BMI cargo as manifested cargo and that then means he will arrive 2 or 3 days before me and all will be fine. She called the Manifest team in Newfoundland Canada who were so helpful. They told her not to worry there are dedicated animal teams. He is never alone always warm and they really look after him. So I am calling them today to get this all sorted.
Things back on track had my tantrum let it all out and feeling better.

Now I just want to get BLOODY HOME !!!!!!!

I would Spank And I would be Proud !

2006-09-27T06:27:00.000-06:00

Last week I watched a program on ITV called ' I smack and I am proud' when I saw the trailer I got slightly excited as I thought finally we are going to get a different view on the the hotly debated topic of disciplining and smacking your child.

Before I go into a complete rant here is my view: smack to your hearts content. Now before you go off on a bleedig heart kids have feelings attack on me understand this. I do not been knock the next 25 Sundays out of your kid, I do not mean smack them for everything and anything. I do not mean smack them without a warning or 3 strikes system.
I believe kids today do not know boundaries they most definitely do not know respect or obedience. Parents are scared of how they handle their children. They are scared of how society will react to their way of dealing with their children.
I waws spanked as a child and christ I deserved it !!! I got warnings I was told off and if it persisted I got spanked. My parents did not tie me to a bloody poll and flog the shit out of me ( pretty sure it was tempting at times !! ha ha ) I am not some deviant of society. It did not make me a emotionally dead person or effect the ways in which I deal with stressful situations.
It taught me bounries respect and limits to my behavior as a child teen young adult and ultimately a adult.
The argument that a child cannot associate the spanking with the act of bad behavior is utter bollocks!!! Child does something bad child is warned child does again child warned again child still persists child gets smacked !!! child does not repeat does not do the bad thing again. That child knows why she or he was spanked !!
The argument that positive encouragement should be enough to make your child to behave is again utter bloody shit !! I do not disagree that all children should get positive reinforcement in fact it is their right to get that....When they do something good you muppets !!! When a child behaves badly you do not try crap like positive re enforcement to curb the behavior , you punish and discipline them straight away.

Right back to the program. So I was excited for this to start and was looking forward to it. 10 minutes into it I was screaming at the telly!!! From the word go the producers of this program had specifically and purposefully set out to make these sets of very brave parents look like abusers like bad parents basically like deviants of society. They were brave parents for being strong willed enough to believe in their convictions and tell what they believe is the right way for them to parent. The program was a utter letdown and was yet again used by the bleeding hearts of today's society to vilify these parents and their methods.

I do realize some people do not agree with the method of spanking and I do respect that view and their decsions not to displine their child in this way. However if parents who smack there kids are able to respect the views of non smackers then it needs to be done visa versa as well.

So I can safely say if I had kids I would spank and I would be proud to admit it as well.

Two Months Today

2006-09-18T13:30:00.000-06:00

Well the proper countdown has begun now !! 2 months today and I will be on my flight back to the ' motherland' of Canada.
I still get moments of panic. It is not because I think I have made a rash or wrong decsion. it is simply because although it is home and I grew up there it is different. It is like emigrating to w whole new country. I do worry about things like leaving my friends behind here and the like and will I make a whole new set over there. But lets be honest they are little worries in the grand scheme of things.
I am fairly sure the cat knows whats going on as he keeps looking at me with pure evil in his eyes !! plus his nightly attacks on my toes are becoming more violent the little bastard !!

I have had a hell of a time sorting out my leaving do !! Oh my god it is so hard to please everyone now !! seriously if ones happy with the date 2 say they are not. so put foot down set it for the 11th of November and pulled a guilt trip of ' I am leaving the country you better freakin be there you bastards!!' and that threat seems to generally work ha ha

So yeah 2 months .......

Tony Blair :The dilema . What are the Options?!

2006-09-11T14:10:00.000-06:00

For as long as I can remember (or at least the last 18 months or so) there has been endless speculation about Tony Blair and his premiership. Questions like: how much longer will he stay? When will he actually name a date? Who would his replacement be? And so on and so on.

I have to say I am slightly middle of the road on this one. Where I do have issues with some of his policies and the ways in which he implements them I also have issues with who is actual replacement will be.
I take issue with some of his immigration agendas. I was raised very tolerant, in a very multi cultural family with beliefs to be compassionate and to respect all others. Recently that has been tested to its highest level. It is a fine line to complain about the immigration issues between having a logical argument and sounding well ... a bigot or narrow minded. We have a problem within this country now where we are simply letting to many illegal immigrants slip through the cracks. The government seems to have effectively let the reins go on this and thrown their hands up in the air as if to say ‘what do you want us to do about it then?’ This has affected me personally. I have been on a waiting list for a dentist for the last 18 months. Please realize that this is a waiting list to register with the dentist. After registering I would then have to wait a further 3 – 6 months to actually get a check up. This is NHS this is not private. Some people say go private then? My answer is no!!! I pay taxes have done for 5 years and it is my natural right to use the NHS dentist provide to ME! I have since found out that in the last 12 months roughly 20 -30 asylum seekers have been registered immediately with the dentist I am trying to get into!! This enrages me. I accept that people of any status should get medical attention but why do I have to wait for 18 months ?!?! To me this is down to the British government under Mr. Blair’s leadership opening the gates to Britain and saying ‘come on in, even if your asylum claim is not valid we will let you in, more the merrier everyone’

Then there is the flipside to this all. Who would replace him?? The option that seems to always be mentioned is Gordon Brown …… oh god helps us please. I am going to be supremely superficial here everyone…..that man is UGLY ….U.G.L.Y a face a mother could not even love seriously. One of Tony Blair’s major plus points is he is a highly social man and I do believe one of the key skills in and job like that is being able to handle extreme social situations and Tony Blair can handle these. Gordon Brown has the social skills of a dead slug, he has the social skills a bloody water buffalo!! He in my eyes would be an embarrassment to Britain at State dinners and world leader conferences. He looks constantly looks as though he has just come of a weekend on the lash and rolled his fat ass out of bed.

On a more serious note though he will always be seen as the man in the background that was undermining his current leader. Almost a form of skull duggery. He will always be seen as the man pulling the strings in the back trying to get Tony Blair out. It is not a good perception to show the worlds super power countries. The picture of him in the paper last week laughing as he left 10 Downing street after apparently having a blazing row with the prime minister should be a sign to everyone what he is really like?!
But the question then is who else is the option to lead this country?? As it appears there is not a lot out there at present and cannot see anything coming to the for front in the near future.

I will be very curious to see what will happen in the next 8 – 9 months? Interested to see who exactly will throw their proverbial hat in the ring that is the Labour party of Britain?

Never Drink And .....

2006-09-08T13:49:00.000-06:00

Never drink and blog stupid shit spews out of your mouth. Plus considering my spelling is a non existent thing when I am sober then drunk or mildly drunk it is truly shit! (I know my mother is now reading this and going over it with a red marker thinking to herself ' I swear I taught this child how to spell and use that funny thing called grammar')

I have to say I do not drink that often to be honest. Of course my family truly believes that there is a very real possibility I was switched a birth due to my lack of ability to handle my drink. Seriously it sucks 2 glasses of wine and a beer and I am anyone’s oh and the life of a party oh yeah and I talk even more then I normally do (yes that is possible and yes my jaw does get sore but normally to drunk and ramble through the pain) So yeah never drink and blog you may live to regret it

Notice not only the obvious glass of wine but the fact that my computer desk is a box I am meant to be packing in and with the drink comes the over flowing ashtray ....pure class and I still wonder daily why it is I am single ????

Never drink and pack!! I will never get over the fact that I have so so much shit. I sat in my living room last night looking around my tiny little flat. I then started saying out loud ‘just going to leave it all’ just not going to bloody bother!! Piss off on my flat to Canada and leave everything behind!! Tonight I started to pack and then cracked the bottle open as a coping mechanism. I have no idea where half this stuff came from.

Never drink and own a pet when you live by yourself with a digital camera in your hand. They just look up at you as if to say ‘you stupid two legged walking freak, get away from me you are pissed!!’

Notice the pure look of shame on my poor cats face. It looks as if he is saying ' you have no idea how stupid I really think you are lady not a clue '